JOURNAL.
At the beginning of the year 1841, Walter Aimwell commenced keeping
regularly a journal, “hoping,” he said in the preface, “that it may be
profitable to me now, and useful and interesting to me at some future
time.”
His entries were much condensed, but they seem to give a very accurate
account of the comparatively few incidents in his monotonous outward
life; and we even get some hint of the sweet, ineffable pleasures that
his soul, ingenious in happiness, could shape out of what some might
think very poor and very scanty materials. Young persons, practically
pure and truly Christian, are all great geniuses in the art of living
happily.
So we read of young Walter Aimwell that one evening, “there being a
bright moon,” he went to Charlestown, and “stopped some time on the
bridge, listening to the sweet strains of the band on board the receiving
ship at the Navy Yard.” Another evening he reads “the Life of Nathaniel
Bowditch nearly through, and gathers from it several important hints.”
Another, he commences writing the Pleasant Way. Another, he mentions that
he has observed the day as a day of fasting and prayer, (it is not a
public fast-day), and records it in cipher; his native modesty probably
reminding him of the shut closet-door and the ignorance of the left hand.
Again, “I was measured, and found myself five feet seven and a half
inches tall, without boots; consequently, ‘in the ordinary walks of
life,’ when I have boots and cap on, I am about six feet high.” He was a
little more than eighteen years of age at the time.
One night he “had a somewhat remarkable dream,—remarkable not for any
strange combination of ideas or flight of imagination, but for its very
close resemblance to an allegory.” As it may interest some persons,
curious in the mysteries of psycho-physical science, his whole account of
the dream is here copied:—
“I thought I saw a large and beautiful building at some distance from
where I was, and separated from me by marshes and shallow water. Whoever
travelled through this water was admitted to the house, where he was
secure from every trouble, disease, and death. I soon began my way
toward this house, and found that it was very difficult and dangerous
travelling. The little cockles, usually found in such places, crawled up
my naked feet and fastened themselves upon me. But I constantly removed
them. At times, I was wellnigh discouraged; for my head was continually
bowed down to watch against the dangerous holes with which my path was
beset. But I would then cast my eye toward the happy home whither I was
going, and sing, ‘The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.’ Here I
awoke, and could not fail to see immediately the moral of the allegory.
I only regretted that I had not slept on a few moments longer, and found
myself at my journey’s end.”
Once he attended what he calls “a loco-foco, anti-slavery, temperance,
methodist, moral-reform, woman’s-rights, and every-thing else
convention,” and seems not to have been very well pleased with the sense,
or the manners, of the speakers.
Another evening, “attended a lecture on the history, construction, and
power, of church organs, by H. R. Cleaveland, Esq.,” with illustrations
by Mr. Greatorex. “Of course, the lecture was highly interesting and
instructive.”
On the fast-day appointed on account of the death of President Harrison,
he worked in the office until ten o’clock, then went home, and at eleven
went to church, and heard “an excellent sermon.” He staid at home in the
afternoon and evening and wrote.
One evening he went up to the Common and heard some “delightful music”
from the Brigade Band; and soon after, going again, when “both bands were
absent from the city,” he heard the Cambridgeport band. “The music was
poor, but as good as could be expected from a country band.”
Again, he went to the Oratorio of Mount Sinai. “After hearing Part I.,”
he “was satisfied without hearing any more, and came away.” The next
evening, he listened to the “Messiah,” and was better pleased than on the
previous evening, but frankly owned he was “not very fond of such music.”
One “fine day” he accepted an invitation to “ride with Mr. Damrell in his
buggy.”
Soon after, in consequence of an accident to the “Morning Star,” he went
to work at eleven o’clock at night, and worked until one; then, returning
home, found it impossible for him to awaken any one so as to get in,
and therefore returned to the office, and continued working until five
o’clock.
One rainy Sabbath, “As I lent my umbrella a few days ago, and have
not seen it since, I was detained from Sabbath school, and also from
church. This is my first absence from Sabbath school since I joined it,
(twenty-two months), and I have not been absent from church before, for
about two years.”
One evening he attended the wedding of a favorite brother, and “the
evening passed off most agreeably.” The next evening he records that
he has “felt very dull and homesick to-day, on account of the loss of
my brother, who has been my room-mate nearly all the time for several
years.” Soon after, he leaves his boarding-place in Green Street, where
he has been for several years, and goes to reside in the family of his
employer. It is pretty evident that, for some reason or other, Mr.
Damrell especially likes this modest youth.
After patiently and carefully making entries in his journal every day of
the year, he gives the following compact and characteristic
“SUMMARY.
“The labors of this year are now closed, and this my first
Journal is completed. Its pages bear witness to the different
scenes through which I have passed, and show how I have spent
this portion of my brief existence. But my object in keeping
this record would not be fully realized, did I not now add a
few statements which could not be embodied in the foregoing
pages, and if I did not also gather up a few statistical facts,
showing more plainly how I have passed my time.
“From the preceding pages it appears that I have attended
one hundred and forty-three religious meetings; attended
Sabbath school fifty-one times; attended singing school
fifteen times; visited Charlestown seventy-one times; attended
three temperance meetings, three lectures, five musical
entertainments, one wedding, one comical entertainment, and the
celebration of the Fourth of July.
“During the past year, I have written the following pieces of
prose for my note-book: ‘The Sleigh-Ride;’ ‘The Rash Act;’
‘Sketch of a Modern Anti-Slavery Convention;’ ‘Antiquity and
Importance of the Mechanic Arts;’ ‘Improvement of the Mind.’
“I have also written the following pieces of poetry: ‘The Weary
Wanderer;’ ‘The Slave’s Theme;’ ‘Hymns;’ ‘Patriotic Ode;’
‘Sonnet;’ ‘The Pious Dead;’ ‘I’m Weary of Sinning;’ ‘A Riddle.’
“These articles occupy twenty-seven pages of my note-book.
I have also copied twelve pages of other matter into my
note-book.
“Besides this, I have written ‘The Pleasant Way,’ and four
letters relating to it. In addition to this, I have written
fifty pages letter-sheet, equal to about seventy printed pages
like those of ‘The Pleasant Way,’ toward another book, and this
journal of one hundred and thirty-two pages.
“During the past year I have read the following books: ‘Life
of Nathaniel Bowditch;’ ‘Plutarch’s Lives;’ ‘History of
Women,’ two volumes; ‘Auly Moore,’ two volumes; ‘Nelson on
the Cause and Cure of Infidelity;’ ‘Memoir of Harlan Page;’
‘Pilgrim’s Progress, Part I.’; ‘Malcom’s Travels,’ two
volumes; ‘Architecture of the Heavens;’ and the Bible nearly
twice through. Besides this, I have perused a great deal of
miscellaneous reading.”
After this summary, follow three pages of accounts of receipts and
expenditures for the year. By these it appears that his total receipts
were fifty-one dollars and forty-seven cents, and his total expenditures
fifty dollars and forty-seven cents, leaving a favorable balance of
exactly one dollar. Of his expenditures, five dollars and eighty-two
cents were for church and charity. He was not paid for “The Pleasant Way”
until the next May.
Surely the machinery of Walter Aimwell’s life was not complicated, and
the material of it was not bulky. Few boys have less; yet he had all that
was necessary to make a character strong and noble, and to accomplish
results whose influence for good will outlast time itself.
This compact method of journal-keeping he practised until the very day of
his death. In these journals, he never expatiates upon any subject; yet I
shall extract a passage here and there, because I would rather the reader
should take a suggestion from his own pen than an ampler remark from mine.
“_Jan. 3, 1842._ Went to work this morning at half-past three, to help
get out the first number of the ‘Christian Reflector.’
“_Thursday, April 7._ Unpleasant. Annual Fast to-day. At seven o’clock
in the morning went down to Salem in the cars, with my room-mate, L.
P. H. On arriving there, I immediately went to Uncle R.’s, in Danvers,
where I found my mother, who went down yesterday. From there we rode in
a carryall to Miss Mugford’s.[3] We afterwards visited Mrs. A.’s, and
from thence went to the Tabernacle church, and sat in the pew which we
formerly occupied. Rev. Mr. Worcester preached a very good sermon from
the text, ‘Remember this, and show yourselves men.’ Isa. xlvi. 8. After
taking dinner with Mrs. A., I called on L. P. H., and became acquainted
with his parents. We then walked around together for some time, and
visited our old schoolmaster, Mr. Brooks, who appeared very glad to
see us. After tea, mother and myself, with father and little Charlie,
who came down in a carryall this morning, all rode home together, and
reached Charlestown at about eight o’clock. Though the weather was rather
inclement, I never spent a more agreeable visit in Salem, and I shall
long remember it with pleasure.”
“_May 1, 1841._ Sabbath. Warm and pleasant. After the sermon, fifty-seven
persons were admitted to the church by profession, and ten by letter. It
was a most interesting scene, and one which I shall long remember with
pleasure. The church was very crowded, and the services were unusually
solemn. Most of those who united with the church were young, and some
were yet in the years of childhood. These are the first fruits of the
delightful revival now enjoyed by our church in common with others in the
city.... The communion season was one of deep interest.”
“_May 3._ A fine day. At five o’clock in the morning went over to
Charlestown with L. P. H., and took breakfast there.”
_“May 18, Wednesday._ In the evening attended a meeting held at
Bowdoin-Street Vestry by the young men of Bowdoin, Park, Salem, and
Green-Street churches. The meeting was excellent.”
“_Sept. 28, Wednesday._ A fine day. The annual muster took place to-day
at South Boston Point, and about twenty-two companies were present. In
the afternoon I had liberty “to go and see the soldiers.” I did not go
to muster; but after dinner I went over to Chelsea, and bought me a fine
pair of stout winter boots, custom-made. Returned home before four, and
wrote the rest of the afternoon and evening.”
The day after he was twenty years of age, he “bought two feet of wood,
and in the evening L. P. H. and himself got it in and sawed it once;”
probably that he might make his private room sufficiently warm to write
during the approaching winter months. From these two paragraphs, youths
can get some notion of the manner in which young Walter Aimwell spent his
limited time and his more limited means.
Much of his leisure during the year 1842, was spent in writing; yet he
read about half-a-dozen good books, besides miscellaneous reading. He
also visited Salem, Mount Auburn, and Fresh Pond; Woburn, New York,
Hoboken, Jersey City, Brooklyn, and West Point. His “balance on hand”
this year was seven dollars and forty-three cents.
“_Oct. 30, 1843._ Pleasant. This is to me a memorable day. It completes
my twenty-first year, and, of course, closes my apprenticeship. This
is with me, as with most others, an event of no small interest, and
one to which I have long looked forward with hope and pleasure, though
occasionally with some anxiety and fear. I have devoted six years, six
months and nineteen days to the acquisition of a trade, all of which time
I have spent in the office of W. S. Damrell. But now my apprenticeship
is finished; and, according to the testimony of some of my older
fellow-printers, I have seen the pleasantest days of my life. Last
Saturday evening I entered into an agreement to work for Mr. Damrell, and
he promised to employ me as long as he could supply any journeyman with
work. As I have always liked my trade, I hope and trust I shall always
find enough to do at it.” (He never failed in that respect. Trades are
like folks,—they like those that like them.) “As to ‘freedom presents,’
I have received to-day a handsome pocket-Bible from a friend who has
worked in the office some time, but recently left; and also two cents
and one copper from three other friends belonging to the office! Verily,
charity aboundeth!”
Among his papers has been found the subjoined, dated October 31, 1843;
that is, the next day after he had completed his twenty-first year:—
“Believing it is my duty to give what assistance I am able to the
benevolent and religious objects with which I conscientiously sympathize,
I have thought a systematic plan of laying by, as the Lord shall prosper
me, what I am able to give these objects, might now be well adopted,
as I am commencing life for myself; consequently, I have determined,
so long as the Lord shall prosper me and enable me to do it, to lay by
one-twentieth of all the means I earn from this date, and consider it as
sacredly devoted to objects of charity, especially religious benevolence.”
“_Dec. 31, 1843._ Sabbath. I have seldom heard a sermon in which I was
so intensely interested.... The argumentative part was instructive, new
and interesting; and the persuasive and admonitory, intensely solemn. The
whole was characterized by a beauty of expression and purity of language
which I seldom hear. But much as I admired the preacher, I think the man
was comparatively lost amid the impressions that his sermon produced.” It
was a stranger who preached.
“_Jan. 1, 1844._ The new year was ushered in with a clear sky and a
bright sun; and brought with it its usual salutations and good wishes. As
usual, I received enough of the latter, though favored with nothing of a
more substantial character. I had the pleasure, however, of making three
presents.” These were to his mother, his room-mate, and a young lady who
had previously shown him kindness.
During a part of January and of February of the year 1844, the weather
was unusually cold, and nearly all the harbors of New England were frozen
up.
“_Feb. 1._ The British steamer was to have sailed to-day, but could not
get out of the harbor. The proprietors of the ice establishment at Fresh
Pond have entered into a contract to cut a channel out of the harbor, and
commenced this morning. They have completed about three miles to-day, and
seven more remain to be done. Thousands of persons have been out on the
harbor to-day, and the skating which it affords has been well improved.
After work in the evening, there being a good moon, I went down with L.
P. H. nearly as far as the Castle; and, after wandering about some time,
we went over to Cunard Wharf and looked at the Britannia; after which I
returned, and read the whole of a new book.”
February 16th he went to Salem, and “first of all,” he called upon Sarah
Mugford, with whom he “spent half an hour most pleasantly.” Sarah Mugford
had once formed a part of his mother’s household.
During the spring of this year he lost the pastor of whom he had been
saying almost continually since he joined the church, he “preached an
excellent sermon.” It seems to have been a great loss to him; and it is
doubtful if any other quite took his place in the estimation of Walter
Aimwell.
“_May 27._ After supper I went out to attend the annual meeting of the
Peace Society. On my way I was detained for a short time, in consequence
of meeting the Phalanx with the Brigade Band. The meeting at Winter
Street being rather dull, I came out and dropped into Park Street, where
the Education Society were holding their anniversary. On my way home I
encountered another strong temptation,—the Brass Band at the head of a
Temperance procession,—and, after listening to their music for a while, I
again started home, but encountered one more company on my way.”
“_May 28._ The Greys had a fine parade with the Brigade Band. After tea,
I unexpectedly came in contact with them, and I could not withstand the
temptation to take a short walk with them.”
“_May 29._ In the evening I attended a meeting at Central Church, at
which illustrations of various styles of church music were given by a
very large and excellent choir, under the direction of Lowell Mason. It
was a rich feast.”
In August, he was offered the situation of foreman of the “Bangor
Gazette,” at an increase of wages; but he “concluded it was not
advisable” to accept it.
Thanksgiving-day he “passed very pleasantly, and also accomplished
considerable on his new book.”
“_Dec. 31._ Worked this evening on the “Reflector” until ten o’clock,
as there has been much necessary delay in getting out the first number
enlarged.”
“SUMMARY FOR 1844.
“It appears from the foregoing pages that, during the past
year, I have attended one hundred and thirty-eight religious
and church-business meetings; have been present at Sabbath
school fifteen times, and have visited Charlestown sixty-one
times. I have spent one hundred and thirty evenings in
writing, fifty-four in reading, thirteen in practising music,
worked six evenings, and spent six in amusement, visiting, etc.
During the year I have read the following books: ‘Prescott’s
History of Ferdinand and Isabella,’ three volumes; ‘Letters on
the Spanish Inquisition;’ ‘Thomson’s Seasons;’ ‘Paradise Lost;’
‘Paradise Regained;’ ‘Rasselas;’ ‘Life of Byron;’ ‘Matins and
Vespers,’ by Bowring; ‘Pollok’s Course of Time.’ I have also
read the Bible through nearly twice, besides considerable
miscellaneous reading and hundreds of newspapers.”
“This year the balance on hand is one hundred and twenty-eight
dollars and thirty-eight cents.”
“_Jan. 9, 1845._ Heard to-day of the acceptance of the manuscript I sent
to the Massachusetts Sabbath School Society.”
“_Jan. 27._ Practised music and wrote in the evening.”
“_Feb. 1._ The copy of my new book came into the office and was commenced
upon.”
“_Feb. 5._ The streets are completely imbedded in snow. This evening I
practised on my melodeon.”
“_Feb. 12._ In the evening I _did nothing_.” It is not a wonder that he
underlined these two words. It is doubtful if, on any other evening, he
could truthfully record them of himself.
“_March 6._ This evening I called at three boarding-houses, and
finally concluded to go to one in Green Street; and accordingly I made
preparations for moving.”
“_March 8._ To-day I left my boarding-place at Mr. B.’s, and this evening
took up my abode in Green Street. It is always unpleasant for me to
change my boarding-place; but in this instance it is doubly so from the
fact that I am compelled to part with my old and long-tried friend, L. P.
H. We have roomed together for more than three years, and have seen many
happy days together.”
“_March 10. Monday._ Another cold, dull, and gloomy day. Not yet having
become ‘naturalized’ in my new boarding-place, and being destitute of
a ‘chum,’ my feelings seem to sympathize with the weather. I spent the
evening at Mr. B.’s, where I called to get some things.
“_March 10._ In the evening, I read a proof-sheet of ‘The Sinner’s
Friend.’”
“_March 25._ Verily, this is a world of changes. Having relinquished my
right and title to the large chamber I have occupied during my residence
in my present boarding-place, this evening I took possession of a
smaller one, fronting on the street, which I am to have exclusively to
myself. This is rather a lonesome way of living, especially to me, after
having enjoyed myself so much with my late room-mate, L. P. H.”
“_April 14._ This afternoon I received from Mr. Dean a copy of ‘The
Sinner’s Friend,’ and the bill for the copyright of the same. I am much
pleased with the appearance of the book. The committee feel considerable
curiosity to know the name of the author, and say they think he ought to
disclose himself. Mr. Dean has invited me to write another book. I spent
the evening principally in looking over my new volume.”
“_April 22._ Wrote in the evening, and completed the plan and foundation
of a new book that I intend to write.”
“_April 29._ At six o’clock this morning I went to Marlborough Chapel
and took my first lesson in phonography. The class is quite large, and
commences under good auspices. In the evening I studied phonography and
practised music.”
For a few weeks after this, he takes a phonographic lesson every morning,
and divides his evenings between phonography and music.
“_May 23._ Spent the evening with the rest of the boarders, in the room
of Mr. and Mrs. F. I took my melodeon with me, and on the whole we had a
very pleasant time.”
“_June 2._ This morning I treated myself to a new notion, and took a
lesson in French! My phonographic lessons continue through this week;
and if I attend the French lessons, I shall be obliged to lose three of
the phonographic. But I did not regret this much, as Mr. Boyle told us
last Friday morning that we then had all the principles of the science,
and all the future lessons would be practice, which, owing to my
near-sightedness, I can pursue to better advantage at home.”
And now, in the midst of music, French, and phonography, this young man
assumes the editorial charge of the “Christian Reflector,” a religious
weekly, for the purpose of enabling Rev. Mr. Graves, the editor, to
take a voyage to the South. And, therefore, in addition to the usual
reading, writing, French, music, phonography, interviews of friendship
and religious meetings, we read of mornings and evenings devoted partly
to “writing editorials.”
“_July 1. Tuesday._ And the strangest July I ever experienced. I arose
at six this morning, dreading for some time to get up, it was so cold!
I dressed, and then wrapped myself in my cloak, and sat down and studied
French until breakfast-time. When I got to the office, the first thing I
did was to make some fire. It has been unpleasant, and rained some, and
the wind is east. Thus much for the weather. To-day the new post-office
law goes into effect. It is one of the best reforms of the day. In
the evening I finished reading ‘Headley’s Letters from Italy,’ a very
entertaining book, which came to me by virtue of my office as editor,
_pro tem._, of the ‘Christian Reflector;’ which office, by the way, I am
thankful I shall soon lose. I have had the whole responsibility of the
paper.”
The columns of the “Reflector” during Mr. Graves’ absence give no token
that they are in young and untried hands. Indeed, the articles, in
dignity, variety, judiciousness, interest, and power, would do credit to
a veteran in the profession; and especially does this apply to those from
Walter Aimwell’s own pen. Here is the conclusion of a column on “The Hope
of Glory;”—
“Ministers of the everlasting God, ye who preach the gospel of his Son,
will ye not be zealous in your addresses to wake up the consciences of
your ungodly hearers to consider the slippery places on which they stand?
For your encouragement, we present an anecdote respecting Archbishop
Leighton. This distinguished English divine lived about two hundred
years ago. At that time, the monarch of England was favorable to the
introduction of Popery into his kingdom, and to its patronage by the
government. He engaged on his side some of the leading bishops of the
English church. Leighton, however, stood aloof from their evil counsels,
and continued faithfully to preach the cardinal principles of the gospel.
Some of his brethren called upon him and remonstrated, begging him to
preach on the ‘times,’ meaning thereby to engage his influence in the
cause of Romanism. ‘Do you wish me,’ said he ‘to preach on the times? Who
are they who preach on the times?’ He was answered, ‘All the brethren
are preaching on the times.’ ‘If all the brethren,’ said Leighton, ‘are
preaching on the times, you ought certainly to allow one poor brother
to preach Jesus Christ and eternity.’ Ye who preach on the times, the
novelties of the world, and are men-pleasers, remember what Paul says,
‘If I yet seek to please men, I should not be the servant of Christ.’”
The subjoined paragraphs are from an article of excellent tone, entitled,
“The Contented Christian:”—
“It is evident that the contented Christian is a wise one; for
‘godliness with contentment is great gain.’ Nor is it less apparent that
he is a useful one. His example alone will accomplish more for the cause
of his Master than will the example, precept, and labor united of many
others who do not resemble him in this respect. He belongs, moreover, to
the highest style of Christians. ‘If,’ says Andrew Fuller,—‘if amidst
afflictions we be in subjection to the Father of spirits, and while we
mourn do not murmur, we attain the highest perfection of which human
nature is capable.’ This is a perfection of which pagan moralists never
dreamed, which Christian hypocrites never successfully counterfeited.
“A discontented Christian! What is he but a rebellious Christian? And if
still in rebellion against God, has he not reason to fear that he has
never been adopted into the great family of the redeemed? Can he not
acquiesce in the will of that Being who now holds to him the relation of
a Father and a friend? Cannot he, who is heir to the rich promises of
grace, trust him who hath said that ‘all things work together for good to
them that love God’? Oh, discontented, repining Christian! repent at once
of thy sin and folly, and in the strength of God face and conquer this
fearful temptation, till thou canst say with Paul, ‘I have learned in
whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.’ ‘’Tis impious in a good
man to be sad,’—yes, thrice impious when that sadness is the result of a
discontented mind.”
July 21st he quietly records an accident, which probably caused him not a
little annoyance:—
“This afternoon the fourth page of this week’s ‘Reflector’ was almost
entirely thrown into _pi_, through the carelessness of the wheelman, who
was lifting it from the press. More than half of it was nonpareil, and
the greater part of the form was landed on the bed of the press upside
down.”
In the latter part of this month, he, in company with a younger brother,
started on a journey into Maine. Of the incidents of this visit he gave
a condensed account in his journal; but only one extract will be made,
and that one chiefly because it is likely that the principal part of that
definite knowledge of some things pertaining to this State, which helps
render the Aimwell stories lifelike and interesting, was obtained at this
time:—
“In spite of the mud and rain, however, I enjoyed the ride very much;
though at one time J. was quite sick. The road ran parallel with the
Kennebec, and the scenery was beautifully diversified. What added much
to my pleasure was the fact that our only companion was an exceedingly
‘knowing’ and communicative old settler, who can recollect when the
towns around us contained but two or three houses, and who gave us to
understand that he owned two or three stage lines, had been sent to
the legislature, had a son in Waterville College, and, in short, was
himself no inconsiderable character. As he is perfectly familiar with the
history and present condition of Maine, I picked up considerable useful
information from the old gentleman.”
In whatever situation Walter Aimwell might be placed, one might venture
to say he “picked up considerable useful information.” Whatever passed
under his observation was sure to be “useful,” at one time or another.
It may be supposed that some kinds of information are useless; some,
very much worse than useless; but he always was on the right side of all
knowledge that can be honestly obtained, and saw it in a good light; and
when the idea was well assimilated, in its appropriate place it swelled
the muscle or flushed the beauty of the thought in his earnest pages.
FOOTNOTES
[3] The heroine of Rev. Dr. Worcester’s “Triumph in Trial.”