November 9, 1785.
Sir:
The moment I received yours, I perceived the precipitancy of my own
conduct, and was very sorry I had so far mistaken both our characters
to act in the manner I have done. I flatter myself, that the same
candor which has dictated yours, will be exerted towards mine, and
that you will only view it as the act of a man who conceived himself
injured. As you have never experienced the cruel reverses of fortune,
you can scarcely judge how the least insinuations to their prejudice
will affect those persons who have; or how much more suspicious they
are of the behavior of mankind towards them.
The morning I left the message for you, I had been called upon by one
of the creditors of Mr. Heart, who thought it very strange no dividend
was made; and he insinuated, some party must be interested in the
delay. It is the first money transaction I have engaged in since my
release. I felt the insinuation as alluding to me, and with a force,
which, perhaps, I should not. However, that moment I went to your
office.
The next morning, when I saw your note to Mr. Atkinson, and found
myself totally set aside in a business where I had, most undoubtedly,
been originally neglected, I felt myself very much agitated; and in
that frame of mind I wrote my last to you.
So much I thought it necessary to add in explanation.
I am convinced, now, I have been too hasty; and I am sorry for it. It
will put me on my guard in future, and I make no doubt prove beneficial
to me, provided it has not been the means of hurting me in your
estimation, which I am now more desirous than ever of obtaining.
I am, Sir, with respect,
Your much obliged,
And most obedient servant,
John Wilkes.
To Colonel Hamilton.