November, 8, 1785.
Sir:
The message which you sent me yesterday, and your letter to-day,
were conceived in terms to which I am little accustomed. Were I to
consult my feelings only upon the occasion, I should return an
answer very different from that which I have, in justice to my own
conduct, resolved upon. But in whatever light we are to view each
other hereafter, and however harsh and indelicate I may think the
method you have taken to obtain an explanation to be, I shall, for
my own part, leave no room to suppose that I intentionally gave you
any cause to complain. I shall, therefore, explicitly declare, that
whatever inattention may have appeared towards you, was solely owing
to the continual hurry in which my engagements, for a long time past,
have kept me; and that, so far from its having been occasioned by
any designed neglect, it was what, under the circumstances, might
have happened to my best friend. Indeed, much of what you mention to
have been done by you, I am a stranger to. The frequent callings, by
yourself and by your servant, did not, that I recollect, come to my
knowledge. It is possible some of them might have been mentioned to
me, and, in the hurry of my mind, forgotten. Once, I remember, I saw
your servant just as I was going out on some urgent business. I sent
a verbal message, promising that I would see you; which I intended
to do, as soon as I had made up my resolution on the business of the
interview. When I received your note I was about sending you an answer
in writing; but, upon inquiring for your servant, and finding him gone,
I omitted it, with an intention to see you personally.
You say it is near six months since you first applied to me on the
business in question. A great part of the time I gave you all the
answer I could give you; to wit, that I had written to Mr. Macaulay,
and only waited his answer. About two months since, I received it. I
have been the greater part of the time out of town on indispensable
business. In the intervals I have been occupied about objects of
immediate and absolute necessity, which could not have been delayed
without letting my business run into utter confusion. Mr. Macaulay’s
concerns have been hanging upon my spirits. I have been promising
myself, from day to day, to bring them to a conclusion; but more
pressing objects have unavoidably postponed it. I thought the delay
required some apology to Mr. Macaulay, but I never dreamt of having
given occasion of offence to you.
I will not, however, deny, upon a review of what has passed, that there
have been, through hurry and inadvertency on my part, appearances
of neglect towards you; but between gentlemen and men of business,
unfavorable conclusions ought not to be drawn before explanations are
asked. Allowances ought to be made for the situations of parties; and
the omissions of men, deeply involved in business, ought rather to be
ascribed to that cause than to ill intentions.
Had you, in the first instance, expressed to me (in such a manner
as respect for yourself and delicacy to me dictated) your sense of
these appearances, I should have taken pains to satisfy you that
nothing improper towards you was intended by me. But to make one of
my clerks the instrument of communication, and the bearer to me of a
harsh accusation, was ill-judged and ungenteel. To take it for granted
that you had received an injury from me, without first giving me an
opportunity of an explanation, and to couch your sense of it in terms
so offensive as some of those used in your letter, is an additional
instance of precipitation and rudeness.
Inadvertencies susceptible of misapprehension, I may commit; but I
am incapable of intending to wound or injure any man who has given
me no cause for it; and I am incapable of doing any thing, sir, of
which I need be ashamed. The intimation, on your part, is unmerited
and unwarrantable. After thus having explained my own conduct to
you, and given you my ideas of yours, it will depend on yourself how
far I shall be indifferent, or not, to your future sentiments of my
character. I shall only add, that to-morrow you shall receive from me
my determination on the matter of business between us.
I am, with due consideration, Sir,
Your most obedient servant,
A. Hamilton.
To John Wilkes, Esq.