“You are working too hard,” said a policeman to a man who was drilling a
hole in a safe at 2:00 o’clock in the morning.
“What do you mean?” asked the burglar in a disconcerted tone.
“I mean you need arrest,” answered the policeman.
* * * * *
It Rained Keys, Bo!
I met a wonderful girl yesterday afternoon, and she invited me up to
her apartment. That night she told me to stand in front of the door and
whistle three times and she would throw down the key.
Boys, I never saw so many keys in all my life.
* * * * *
I could print a lot of real funny stories, but what’s the use, you would
only laugh at them.
_Questions and Answers_
=_Dear Capt. Billy_=—What is the first thing that turns green in the
spring?—=_Uppan Attim_=.
Christmas jewelry.
* * * * *
=_Dear Captun_=: My kid brother’s a great chicken chaser. He came home
late last night all dizzy; d’you think he was drinkin’ or what’s the
matter?—=_Ida Sinkey_=.
‘Swimmin’ in the head.
* * * * *
=_Dear Whiz Bang Bill_=—Is there much food values in dates?—=_Ona Dyett_=.
It all depends on who you make them with.
* * * * *
=_Dear Captain_=—What is a Sly Oodle?—=_Nat. U. List_=.
’Tis a small weasel that sleeps in the crotch of a tree, and swallows its
nose to keep it from freezing.
* * * * *
=_Dear Capt. Billy_=—A fellow asked me a funny question the other day.
Why is a crow? Seems sort of silly. Do you know the answer?—=_M. T.
Kann_=.
That’s easy. Caws.
* * * * *
=_Dear Captain Billy_=—What is a Nabisco?—=_Ray Vaughan_=.
It consists of two pieces of tissue paper with a little honey between.
* * * * *
=_Dear Captain Billy_=—Would it hurt me to sleep between two
windows?—=_I. Foozle_=.
You would have a “pane” on the chest and back, and a “catch” on your side.
* * * * *
=_Dear Capt. Billy_=—What is a good name for a new college sorority?—=_Al
E. Wrat_=.