[A late report of the Automatic Machine Company says that out of
every twelve coins placed in the slot _two are bad_.]
_Average "Honest Man" loq.:_--
Put a penny in the slot?
That is simply tommy-rot!
If _I_ want a cigarette,
Or some butter scotch, you bet,
If _I_ put a penny in,
'Tis a _bad_ one! Bits of tin,
Workmen's tickets, discs of zinc,
Aught that's rounded and will chink,
Chips of copper filed to size,
Tokens, counters--all I tries.
Takes a lot o' trouble, too,
To fake up a reglar "do."
So for nix I often get
Butter scotch or cigarette.
Oh! it is a splendid joke!
I should like to see the bloke
When he turns 'em out! Oh lor!
Twenty per cent. are shams--or more!
_Honest?_ Wot? To a _machine_?
You must think me jolly green!
The machine can't cop or blow!
Automatics do not know.
If I pop a "Frenchy" in,
Or a lump of brass or tin,
Who's to tell that I do _not_
Put a penny in the slot?
* * * * *
IN THE PRESS.--_The Cruelty of the Jap._ By the Author of _The Kindness
of the Celestial_.
* * * * *