as increases the cheerful aspect of the room.
A moveable china closet with glass encasements for keeping the daintier
china, glass, or silver ware not in common use is often a desirable
article of furniture in small homes; or a shallow closet may be built in
the wall of the dining-room for this purpose. A good size for such a
closet is twelve inches deep and three feet wide. Four shelves, with one
or more drawers below, in which may be kept the best table napery,
afford ample space in general. The appearance of the whole may be made
very pleasing by using doors of glass, and filling in the back and sides
of the shelves with velvet paper in dark-brown, dull-red, or any shade
suitable for background, harmonizing with the general furnishing of the
room. The shelves should be of the same material and have the same
finish as the woodwork of the room. The upper side may be covered with
felt if desired; and such artistic taste may be displayed in the
arrangement of the china as to make the closet ornamental as well as
convenient.
TABLE-TALK.--A sullen, silent meal is a direct promoter of
dyspepsia. "Laugh and grow fat" is an ancient adage embodying good
hygienic doctrine. It has long been well understood that food digests
better when seasoned with agreeable conversation, and it is important
that unpleasant topics should be avoided. Mealtime should not be made
the occasion to discuss troubles, trials, and misfortunes, which rouse
only gloomy thoughts, impair digestion, and leave one at the close of
the meal worried and wearied rather than refreshed and strengthened. Let
vexatious questions be banished from the family board. Fill the time
with bright, sparkling conversation, but do not talk business or discuss
neighborhood gossip. Do not let the food upon the table furnish the
theme of conversation; neither praise nor apology are in good taste.
Parents who make their food thus an especial topic of conversation are
instilling into their children's minds a notion that eating is the best
part of life, whereas it is only a means to a higher end, and should be
so considered. Of all family gatherings the meals should be the most
genial and pleasant, and with a little effort they may be made most
profitable to all. It is said of Dr. Franklin that he derived his
peculiarly practical turn of mind from his father's table talk.
Let themes of conversation be of general interest, in which all may take
a part. If there are children, a pleasant custom for the breakfast hour
is to have each in turn relate something new and instructive, that he or
she has read or learned in the interval since the breakfast hour of the
previous day. This stimulates thought and conversational power, while
music, history, adventure, politics, and all the arts and sciences offer
ample scope for securing interesting items.
Another excellent plan is the selection of a special topic for
conversation for each meal or for the meals of a day or a week, a
previous announcement of the topic being made, that all, even the
youngest, may have time to prepare something to say of it. The benefits
from such social intercourse around the board can hardly be
over-estimated; and if thus the mealtime is prolonged, and too much
appears to be taken out of the busy day, be sure it will add to their
years in the end, by increasing health and happiness.
TABLE MANNERS.--Good breeding and true refinement are nowhere more
apparent than in manners at table. These do not relate alone to the
proper use of knife and fork, napkin and spoon, but to habits of
punctuality, neatness, quietness, order, and that kind thoughtfulness
and courteous attention which spring from the heart--"in honor
preferring one another." The purpose of eating should not be merely the
appeasement of hunger or the gratification of the palate, but the
acquiring of strength for labor or study, that we may be better fitted
for usefulness in the world. Consequently, we should eat like
responsible beings, and not like the lower orders of animals.
Good table manners cannot be put on for special occasions and laid aside
like a garment. Persons not wont to observe the rules of politeness in
the every-day life of their own households can never deceive others into
thinking them well bred on "company" occasions. Ease and refinement of
manners are only acquired by habitual practice, and parents should early
accustom their children by both precept and example to observe the
requirements of good behavior and politeness at table. Elaborate details
are not necessary. We subjoin a few of the more simple rules governing
table etiquette:--
1. Eat slowly, never filling the mouth very full and avoiding all
appearance of greediness.
2. Masticate thoroughly, keeping the lips closed. Eating and drinking
should be noiseless.
3. Never speak with the mouth full, nor interrupt another when talking.
Any remark worthy of utterance will keep.
4. Do not express a choice for any particular portion or dish, unless
requested to do so; and do not find fault with the food. If by chance
anything unpleasant is found in it, do not call the attention of others
to the fact by either remark or manner.
5. Sit conveniently near the table, but not crowded up close against it;
and keep the hands, when not in use to convey food to the mouth, in the
lap, beneath the table, never resting upon the table, toying with knife,
fork, or spoon.
6. Do not tilt back your chair, or lean upon the table with the elbow,
or drum with the fingers.
7. It is contrary to good breeding to shovel one's food into the mouth
with a knife. Everything which can be eaten with a fork should be taken
with that utensil alone. If necessary, use the knife for dividing the
food, and afterward the fork to convey it to the mouth. Use a spoon for
soups and juicy foods.
8. Bread should be broken, not cut. In eating large fruits, like apples
or pears, divide with a knife, and take in small portions, holding the
knife by the handle rather than the blade.
9. Soup is eaten from the side of the spoon, which is filled without
noisily touching the plate.
10. Seeds or stones to be rejected should be taken from the lips with a
spoon, never with the fingers. The mouth should not go to the food, but
the food to the mouth.
11. Do not crumble food about your plate, nor in any avoidable way soil
the table linen.
12. Do not hang the napkin about the neck like a bib, but unfold and lay
across the lap in such a manner that it will not slide to the floor.
Carefully wipe the mouth before speaking, and as often at other times as
may keep the lips perfectly clean of food and drink. At the close of a
meal, if at home, fold the napkin neatly and place it in the ring. If at
a hotel or away from home, leave the napkin unfolded by your plate.
13. Do not appear impatient to be served, and ordinarily at the home
meals wait until all are served before commencing to eat. At a public
table where waiters are provided, it is proper to begin eating as soon
as the food is served. This is admissible because the wants of other
guests are supposed to be similarly looked after.
14. Never reach across a neighbor's plate for anything. If something
beyond him is needed, ask to have it passed to you.
15. Do not tilt your plate or scrape it for the last atom of food.
16. Drink very sparingly, if at all, while eating, and then do not pour
the liquid down the throat like water turned from a pitcher.
17. Children should not be allowed to use their fingers to aid
themselves in eating. If their hands are too small or too awkward to
use a fork, a piece of bread or cracker may be held in the left hand to
aid in pushing the food upon the fork or spoon.
18. To help one's self to butter or any other food from a common dish
with one's own knife or spoon is a gross breach of table etiquette.
19. Never use the handkerchief unnecessarily at the table, and do not
cough or sneeze if avoidable.
20. It is not considered proper to pick the teeth at table. If this
becomes absolutely necessary, a napkin should be held before the mouth.
21. When a meal or course is finished, lay the knife and fork side by
side upon the plate.
22. Except at a hotel or boarding house, it is not proper to leave the
table before the rest of the family or guests, without asking the
hostess to excuse you.
23. If a guest declines a dish, he need give no reason. "No, I thank
you," is quite sufficient. The host or hostess should not insist upon
guests' partaking of particular dishes, nor put anything upon their
plates which they have declined.
THE TABLE.--None will deny that the appearance of the table affects
one's enjoyment of the food upon it. A well-appointed table with its
cloth, though coarse in texture, perfectly clean and neatly laid, its
glass and china bright and shining, and the silver showing by its
glistening surface evidence of frequent polishings, gives far more
comfort and enjoyment than one where little attention is given to
neatness, order, or taste. In many families, effort is made to secure
all these important accessories when guests have been invited; but for
common use, anything is considered "good enough for just one's own
folks." This ought not to be, and mothers who permit such a course, need
not be surprised if their children exhibit a lack of self-respect and
genuineness as well as awkwardness and neglect of manners.
The table around which the family meals are taken, ought to be at all
times the model of what it should be when surrounded by guests. As a
writer has well said, "There is no silent educator in the household
that has higher rank than the table. Surrounded each day by the family
who are eager for refreshment of body and spirit, its impressions sink
deep; and its influences for good or ill form no mean part of the warp
and woof of our lives. Its fresh damask, bright silver, glass, and
china, give beautiful lessons in neatness, order, and taste; its damask
soiled, rumpled, and torn, its silver dingy, its glass cloudy, and china
nicked, annoy and vex us at first, and then instill their lessons of
carelessness and disorder. An attractive, well-ordered table is an
incentive to good manners, and being a place where one is incited to
linger, it tends to control the bad habits of fast eating; while, on the
contrary, an uninviting, disorderly table gives license to bad manners,
and encourages the haste which is proverbial among Americans. The woman,
then, who looks after her table in these particulars, is not doing
trivial work, for it rests with her to give silently these good or bad
lessons in manners and morals to her household as they surround the
daily board."
A well-appointed table requires very little time and labor. No pretense
or ostentation is necessary; neatness and simplicity are far more
pleasing.
SETTING THE TABLE.--Lay a piece of double-faced canton flannel
underneath the tablecloth. Even coarse napery will present a much better
appearance with a sub-cover than if spread directly upon the table. It
will likewise lessen noise in changing courses and the likelihood of
injury to the table from hot dishes. Spread the tablecloth evenly,
without wrinkles, and so that the center fold shall be exactly in the
middle, parallel with the sides of the table. Mats, if used, should be
placed exactly straight and with regularity. If meat is served, spread a
large napkin with points toward the center of the table at the carver's
place, to protect the tablecloth. Place the plates upon the table, right
side up, at even distances from each other and straight with the cloth
and the edge of the table. Lay the napkins directly in front or at the
right of each plate. Place the fork at the left, the knife on the right
with the edge toward the plate, beyond this the soup spoon and two
teaspoons, and at the front of these set the glass, cream glass, and
individual butter plate if these are used.
A center piece consisting of a vase of freshly cut flowers, a pot of
ferns, a jar of small plants in bloom, a dish of well-polished red
apples, peaches, or other seasonable fruit, will add a touch of beauty
and attractiveness. If the serving is to be done from the table by
members of the family, place large spoons near dishes to be served, also
the proper number and kind of separate dishes for the purpose. If fruit
is to be served, a finger bowl should be placed for each person. If the
service is by course, the extra dishes, knives, forks, and spoons
needed, also the finger bowls, water service, and cold foods in reserve
for a renewed supply or for other courses, should be made ready and
arranged upon the sideboard.
The soup ladle should be placed in front of the lady of the house, who
always serves the soup; and if meat is served, the carving knife and
fork must, of course, be placed before the carver's place. The necessary
dishes for each course should be brought on with the food, those for the
first course being placed upon the table just a moment before dinner is
announced.
The arrangement of all dishes and foods upon the table should be
uniform, regular, and tasteful, so as to give an orderly appearance to
the whole. The "dishing up" and arranging of the food are matters of no
small importance, as a dull appetite will often be sharpened at the
sight of a daintily arranged dish, while the keenest one may have its
edge dulled by the appearance of a shapeless mass piled up with no
regard to looks. Even the simplest food is capable of looking its best,
and the greatest care should be taken to have all dishes served neatly
and tastefully.
The table should not be set for breakfast the night before nor kept so
from one meal to another, unless carefully covered with a cloth thick
enough to prevent the dust from accumulating upon the dishes. The plates
and glasses should then be placed bottom-side up and turned just before
mealtime. No food of any kind should ever be allowed to remain uncovered
upon the table from one meal to another. The cloth for covering the
table should be carefully shaken each time before using, and always used
the same side up until washed.
Plates and individual meat dishes should be warmed, especially in
winter; but the greatest care should be taken that no dish becomes hot,
as that not only makes it troublesome to handle, but is ruinous to the
dishes.
THE SERVICE OF MEALS.--There are few invariable rules for either
table-setting or service. We will offer a few suggestions upon this
point, though doubtless other ways are equally good. A capital idea for
the ordinary home meal, when no servant is kept, especially if in the
family there are older children, is to make different members of the
family responsible for the proper service of some dish or course. The
fruit, which should be the first course at breakfast, may be prepared
and placed upon fruit plates with the proper utensils for
eating--napkins and finger bowls at each place before the meal is
announced. If apples or bananas are served, a cracker should be placed
upon each plate to be eaten in connection with the fruit. Oranges and
grapes are, however, to be preferred when obtainable; the former may be
prepared as directed on page 180. The hot foods may be dished, and the
dishes placed on a side table in a _bain marie_, the hot water in which
should be as deep as the food within the dishes. The foods will thus be
in readiness, and will keep much better than if placed upon the table at
the beginning of the meal. When the fruit is eaten, some member of the
family may remove the fruit plates, and bring the hot grains, toasts,
and other foods, placing them, together with the necessary individual
dishes, before those who have their serving in charge. One member may be
selected to pass the bread, another to dish the sauce, etc.; and thus
each child, whether boy or girl--even those quite young--may contribute
to the service, and none be overburdened, while at the same time it will
be a means of teaching a due regard for the comfort and enjoyment of
others.
If the meal is dinner, usually consisting of three courses, after the
soup has been eaten, it may be the duty of some member of the family to
remove the soup plates and place the vegetables, grains, and meats if
any are to served, before those chosen to serve them. At the close of
this course, another may remove the dishes and food, crumb the cloth,
and place the dessert, with the proper dishes for serving, before the
lady of the house or her oldest daughter, one of whom usually serves it.
If a servant is employed, the following is an excellent plan of service:
The soup plates or bowls should be placed hot upon the table, with the
tureen of soup before the lady of the house, and the glasses filled
before the dinner is announced.
Grace having been said, the servant removes the cover of the soup
tureen, and standing at the left of the lady, takes up with her left
hand a soup plate, which she changes to the palm of her right hand and
holds at the edge of the soup tureen until the lady has filled it, then
carries it, still holding it upon the palm of the hand, and places it
before the head of the table. In the same manner all are served to soup.
If bowls instead of plates are used, a small silver or lacquered tray
may be used on which to carry the bowl. While the soup is being eaten,
the servant goes to the kitchen and brings in the hot dishes and foods
for the next course, and places them upon the side table. When the soup
has been finished, beginning with the one who sits at the head of the
table, the servant places before each person in turn a hot dinner plate,
at the same time removing his soup plate to the sideboard or pantry.
After changing all the plates, she removes the soup tureen, and if meat
is to be served, places that before the carver with the individual
plates, which, when he has placed a portion thereon, she serves to each
in turn; then she takes the potato and other vegetables upon her tray,
and serves them, going to the left of each person when passing them a
dish, but placing individual dishes at the right; next she passes the
bread, refills the glasses, taking each one separately to the sideboard,
and then serves the grains.
When every one has finished the course, she begins the clearing of the
table by first removing all large dishes of food; after that the plates
and all soiled dishes, mats, and all table furniture except the glasses,
napkin rings, and center-pieces. Lastly she removes all crumbs with a
brush or napkin. When done, she places in front of each person a plate
with a doily and finger bowl upon it, and then brings the dessert and
dessert dishes, placing them before the lady of the house, and passes
these for her as in the other courses. If the dessert is pudding, a
spoon or fork should be placed on the plate at one side of the finger
bowl. If the dessert is fruit, a fruit napkin may be used in place of
the doily, the real purpose of which is to prevent the bowl from sliding
about the plate in moving it. A fork and silver knife, or knife and
spoon as the fruit may require, should be served with it.
GENERAL SUGGESTIONS FOR WAITERS.--In serving a dish from which
people are expected to help themselves, always go to the left side.
Soup, food in individual dishes, clean plates, and finger bowls should
be set down before people at their right hand.
When removing soiled dishes after a course, always exchange them for
clean ones, remembering that the only time when it is allowable to leave
the table without plates is when it is being cleared for the dessert.
In serving grains either dish them in small dishes before serving or
pass clean saucers at the same time for each to help himself, and in all
cases see that each person is served to cream, sugar, and a teaspoon,
with grains.
Pass the bread two or three times during each meal, and keep careful
watch that all are well supplied.
Pour hot milk and all beverages on the side table; fill only three
fourths full, and serve the same as anything else in individual dishes,
placing the glass at each person's right hand.
Waiters should be noiseless and prompt, and neatly attired in dress
suitable to their occupation.
SUGGESTIONS CONCERNING DINNER PARTIES.--Much of the success of a
dinner party depends upon the guests selected; and the first point for
consideration by the lady who decides upon entertaining her friends
thus, should be the congeniality of those whom she desires to invite,
remembering that after the first greetings the guests see very little of
their hostess, and consequently their enjoyment must largely depend upon
each other. It is customary to issue invitations in the name of the host
and hostess, from five to ten days in advance of the occasion. Printed
or written invitations may be used. The following is a proper form:--
_Mr. and Mrs. George Brown_
_request the pleasure_
_of_
_Mr. and Mrs. Henry Clark's company_
_at dinner_
_December 5th, at four o'clock._
_24 Maple Avenue._
If the dinner is given in especial honor to some stranger, a second card
is inclosed on which is written:--
_To meet_
_Mrs. Harold Brooks of Philadelphia._
Invitations to a dinner should be promptly accepted or declined, and if
accepted, the engagement should on no account be lightly broken.
Unless one has a large establishment, and is very sure of good service,
the bill of fare selected should not be an elaborate one, and the choice
of dishes should be confined to those which one is used to preparing,
and which in cost will not exceed one's means. It is the quality of the
dinner which pleases, and not the multiplicity of dishes. Small dinners
for not less than six or more than ten guests are always the most
pleasant, and for those of moderate means or those unaccustomed to
dinner-giving are by far the most suitable.
The arrangement and adornment of the table afford an opportunity for the
display of much artistic taste and skill. An expensive outlay is by no
means necessary, as highly pleasing effects may be produced by the
addition of a few choice, well-arranged flowers or blossoming plants to
a table already well laid with spotless linen, bright silver, and clean
glass and china ware. A profusion of ornament should be avoided, large
pieces of plate, and high, elaborate designs of flowers or fruit should
not be used, as they obstruct the intercourse of the guests.
A center piece of flowers, with a small bouquet tied with ribbon for
each guest, is quite sufficient. Low dishes filled with violets or
pansies; a basket filled with oranges, mingled with orange leaves and
blossoms; bowls of ferns and roses; a block of ice wreathed in ferns,
with an outer circle of water lilies; dishes of vari-colored grapes
resting amid the bright leaves of the foliage plant, are some of many
pleasing designs which may be employed for the adornment of the dinner
table. The amount of space occupied with decorations must depend upon
the style of service employed. If no calculation need be made for
placing the different dishes composing the dinner, a strip of colored
plush or satin bordered with ivy, smilax, or some trailing vine, is
quite frequently used for the decoration of a long table.
A very pleasing custom consists in selecting some especial color for the
decorations with which the table napery, dishes, and even the food to be
served shall accord; as, for example, a "pink" dinner, with roses as the
chief flower, strawberries, pink lemonade, and other pink attractions;
or a "yellow" luncheon, served on napery etched with yellow, with vases
of goldenrod for center pieces, and dainty bouquets of the same tied
with yellow ribbon at each plate, while yellow tapers in golden
candlesticks cast a mellow light over all, during the serving of a bill
of fare which might include peaches and cream, oranges, pumpkin pie, and
other yellow comestibles.
The menu cards afford much opportunity for adding attractiveness to a
company dinner. If one possesses artistic skill, a floral decoration or
a tiny sketch, with an appropriate quotation, the guest's name, and date
of the dinner, make of the cards very pleasing souvenirs. A proper
quotation put after each dish is much in vogue as a means of promoting
conversation. The quotations are best selected from one author.