_As arranged for the neighbourhood of the Round Pond under existing
circumstances._
CAN this be Kensington Gardens, or is it Tophet? This perfume
is scarcely suggestive of flowers.
How nicely this little girl is burying the dead cat.
What a game at hide and seek those boys in white sailor suits
are having in that reeking garbage.
It is strange, but the morning breeze is laden with _Bacteria_.
Why, that is the fifth dust-cart that has emptied its contents
here this afternoon.
How merrily the dustmen are spreading the refuse over the
surface of the grass.
The haggard Park-keeper seems to be growing paler and paler
every day.
I wonder why that entire family of children have broken out
into green spots.
Who would have thought that the baby that had been brought
here for a little fresh air would have turned blue in the
perambulator!
Who is really responsible for the conversion of an open
pleasure-ground into a deadly centre for the dissemination of
fever?
* * * * *
[Illustration: A PRETTY KETTLE OF FISH.
"The King of the BELGIANS is understood to be acting as his own
Ambassador in the matter of the North Sea Fishery disputes. His visit to
this country is stated to have for its object the prevention of future
conflicts between British and Belgian fishermen in the North
Sea."--_Times._]
* * * * *
_Mr. Punch._ Ah happy to see you, _mon Chef_! Here's a mess!
You'll soon put it all straight, Sir; you couldn't do less.
Your people you'll find are entirely to blame
For the kettle o'erboiling, the steam and the flame.
What is there in fish that in every quarter
So leads--in non-natural sense--to hot water?
And why should a Billingsgate dame, or a trawler,
Or Belgian or British, so oft be a brawler?
A Saint once held forth, Sir, the fishes to teach.
What a sermon to us, Sir, the fishes might preach!
The sea's lavish harvest was certainly sent
Man's palate to please, and his hunger content;
Not, _not_, my dear _Chef_, as mere strife-stirring spoil
His kitchen to slop, and his cooks to embroil.
_Verb. sap._--you are sapient, I know, like your Sire--
And--you'll take this strange "kettle of fish" off the fire!
* * * * *
"MIGHTY POLITE."--Last week Mr. HARRINGTON, Barrister-at-Law (in
Ireland), was called to account by Mr. EATON, and threatened with
removal from the Court over which that Magistrate presided, for conduct
unworthy of a Counsel. Had "the learned gentleman" had the advantage of
the influence of another Eton earlier in his career, his manners would
doubtless have been less deficient in polish.
* * * * *
A PLANK OF THE WRONG PLATFORM.--The Plank-bed.
* * * * *
(NOT AT ALL) BAD HOMBURG.