Among the reminiscences of Lincoln left by Editor Henry J. Raymond, is
the following:
Among the stories told by Lincoln, which is freshest in my mind, one
which he related to me shortly after its occurrence, belongs to the
history of the famous interview on board the River Queen, at Hampton
Roads, between himself and Secretary Seward and the rebel Peace
Commissioners. It was reported at the time that the President told a
“little story” on that occasion, and the inquiry went around among the
newspapers, “What was it?”
The New York Herald published what purported to be a version of it, but
the “point” was entirely lost, and it attracted no attention. Being in
Washington a few days subsequent to the interview with the Commissioners
(my previous sojourn there having terminated about the first of last
August), I asked Mr. Lincoln one day if it was true that he told
Stephens, Hunter and Campbell a story.
“Why, yes,” he replied, manifesting some surprise, “but has it
leaked out? I was in hopes nothing would be said about it, lest some
over-sensitive people should imagine there was a degree of levity in
the intercourse between us.” He then went on to relate the circumstances
which called it out.
“You see,” said he, “we had reached and were discussing the slavery
question. Mr. Hunter said, substantially, that the slaves, always
accustomed to an overseer, and to work upon compulsion, suddenly freed,
as they would be if the South should consent to peace on the basis of
the ‘Emancipation Proclamation,’ would precipitate not only themselves,
but the entire Southern society, into irremediable ruin. No work would
be done, nothing would be cultivated, and both blacks and whites would
starve!”
Said the President: “I waited for Seward to answer that argument, but as
he was silent, I at length said: ‘Mr. Hunter, you ought to know a great
deal better about this argument than I, for you have always lived under
the slave system. I can only say, in reply to your statement of the
case, that it reminds me of a man out in Illinois, by the name of Case,
who undertook, a few years ago, to raise a very large herd of hogs.
It was a great trouble to feed them, and how to get around this was a
puzzle to him. At length he hit on the plan of planting an immense field
of potatoes, and, when they were sufficiently grown, he turned the whole
herd into the field, and let them have full swing, thus saving not only
the labor of feeding the hogs, but also that of digging the potatoes.
Charmed with his sagacity, he stood one day leaning against the fence,
counting his hogs, when a neighbor came along.
“‘Well, well,’ said he, ‘Mr. Case, this is all very fine. Your hogs are
doing very well just now, but you know out here in Illinois the frost
comes early, and the ground freezes for a foot deep. Then what you going
to do?’
“This was a view of the matter which Mr. Case had not taken into
account. Butchering time for hogs was ‘way on in December or January! He
scratched his head, and at length stammered: ‘Well, it may come pretty
hard on their snouts, but I don’t see but that it will be “root, hog, or
die.”’”
“ABE” GOT THE WORST OF IT.
When Lincoln was a young lawyer in Illinois, he and a certain Judge once
got to bantering one another about trading horses; and it was agreed
that the next morning at nine o’clock they should make a trade, the
horses to be unseen up to that hour, and no backing out, under a
forfeiture of $25. At the hour appointed, the Judge came up, leading the
sorriest-looking specimen of a horse ever seen in those parts. In a few
minutes Mr. Lincoln was seen approaching with a wooden saw-horse upon
his shoulders.
Great were the shouts and laughter of the crowd, and both were greatly
increased when Lincoln, on surveying the Judge’s animal, set down his
saw-horse, and exclaimed:
“Well, Judge, this is the first time I ever got the worst of it in a
horse trade.”