CHRISTENINGS
A child can, of course, be christened without making a festivity of it at
all--just as two people can be married with none but the clergyman and two
witnesses--but nearly every mother takes this occasion to see her friends
and show her baby to them.
Invitations to a christening are never formal, because none but the family
and a very few intimate friends are supposed to be asked. In this day
invitations are nearly all sent over the telephone, except to those who
are at a distance, or else friends are asked verbally when seen; but it is
both correct and polite to write notes. Such as:
Dear Mrs. Kindhart:
The baby is to be christened here at home, next Sunday at half
past four, and we hope you and Mr. Kindhart--and the children if
they care to--will come.
Affectionately,
Lucy Gilding.
If a telephone message is sent, the form is:
"Mr. and Mrs. Gilding, Jr. would like Mr. and Mrs. Norman to come
to the baby's christening on Sunday at half past four, at their
house."
=ASKING THE GODPARENTS=
Before setting the date for the christening, the godmothers (two for a
girl and one for a boy) and the godfathers (two for a boy and one for a
girl) have, of course, already been chosen.
If a godfather (or mother) after having given his consent is abroad or
otherwise out of reach at the time of the christening, a proxy takes part
in the ceremony instead, and without thereby becoming a godfather. Since
godparents are always most intimate friends, it is natural to ask them
when they come to see the mother and the baby (which they probably do
often) or to write them if at a distance. Sometimes they are asked at the
same time that the baby's arrival is announced to them, occasionally even
before.
The Gilding baby, for instance, supposedly sent the following telegram:
Mrs. Richard Worldly,
Great Estates.
I arrived last night and my mother and father were very glad to
see me, and I am now eagerly waiting to see you.
Your loving godson,
Robert Gilding, 3d.
But more usually a godparent at a distance is telegraphed:
John Strong,
Equitrust, Paris.
It's a boy. Will you be godfather?
Gilding.
But in any case a formally worded request is out of place. Do _not_ write:
"My husband and I sincerely hope that you will consent to be our son's
godmother," etc. Any one so slightly known as this wording implies would
not be asked to fill so close a position as that of godmother without
great presumption on your part.
You must never ask any one to be a godmother or godfather whom you do not
know intimately well, as it is a responsibility not lightly to be
undertaken and impossible to refuse. Godparents should, however, be chosen
from among friends rather than relatives, since the sole advantage of
godparents is that they add to the child's relatives, so that if it
should be left alone in the world, its godparents become its protectors.
But where a child is born with plenty of relatives who can be called upon
for advice and affection and assistance in event of his or her becoming an
orphan, godparents are often chosen from among them. Nothing could be more
senseless, however, than choosing grandparents, since the relationship is
as close as can be anyway, and the chances that the parents will outlive
their own parents make such a choice still more unsuitable.
In France, the godmother is considered, next to the parents and
grandparents, the nearest relative a child can have. In some European
countries, the Queen or another who is above the parents in rank, assumes
a special protectorate over her godchild. In this instance the godmother
appoints herself.
In America a similar situation cannot very well exist; though on rare
occasions an employer volunteers to stand as godfather for an employee's
child. Godparents must, of course, give the baby a present, if not before,
at least at the christening. The standard "gift" is a silver mug, a
porringer, or a knife, fork and spoon, marked usually with the baby's name
and that of the giver.
Robert Gilding, 3d
From his godfather
John Strong
Or the presents may be anything else they fancy. In New England a very
rich godfather sometimes gives the baby a bond which is kept with interest
intact until a girl is eighteen or a boy twenty-one.
=TIME OF CHRISTENING=
In other days of stricter observances a baby was baptized in the Catholic
and high Episcopal church on the first or at least second Sunday after its
birth. But to-day the christening is usually delayed at least until the
young mother is up and about again; often it is put off for months and in
some denominations children need not be christened until they are several
years old. The most usual age is from two to six months.
If the family is very high church or the baby is delicate and its
christening therefore takes place when it is only a week or two old, the
mother is carried into the drawing-room and put on a sofa near the
improvised font. She is dressed in a becoming negligé and perhaps a cap,
and with lace pillows behind her and a cover equally decorative over her
feet. The guests in this event are only the family and the fewest possible
intimate friends.
=THE CHRISTENING IN CHURCH=
In arranging for the ceremony the clergyman, of course, is consulted and
the place and hour arranged. If it is to be in church, it can take place
at the close of the regular service on Sunday, but if a good deal is to be
made of the christening, a week day is chosen and an hour when the church
is not being otherwise used.
The decorations, if any at all, consist of a few palms or some flowering
plants grouped around the font, and the guests invited for the christening
take places in the pews which are nearest to the font, wherever that
happens to be. As soon as the clergyman appears, the baby's coat and cap
are taken off (in any convenient pew, not necessarily the nearest one),
and the godmother, holding the baby in her arms, stands directly in front
of the clergyman. The other godparents stand beside her and other
relatives and friends nearby.
The godmother who is holding the baby must be sure to pronounce its name
distinctly--in fact it is a wise precaution if it is a long or an unusual
one, to show the name printed on a slip of paper to the clergyman
beforehand--as more than one baby has been given a name not intended for
it. And whatever name the clergyman pronounces is fixed for life. The
little Town girl who was to have been called Marian is actually Mary Ann!
As soon as the ceremony is over, the godmother hands the baby back to its
nurse, who puts on its cap and coat, and it is then driven with all its
relatives and friends to the house of its parents or grandparents, where a
lunch or an afternoon tea has been arranged.
=HOUSE CHRISTENING=
Unless forbidden by the church to which the baby's parents belong, the
house christening is by far the easier, safer and prettier. Easier,
because the baby does not have to have wraps put on and off and be taken
out and brought in; safer, because it is not apt to catch cold; and
prettier, for a dozen reasons.
The baby in the first place looks much prettier in a dress that has not
been crushed by having a coat put over it and taken off and put on and off
again. In the second place, a baby brought down from the nursery without
any fussing is generally "good," whereas one that has been dressed and
undressed and taken hither and yon is apt to be upset and therefore to
cry. If it cries in church it just has to cry! In a house it can be taken
into another room and be brought back again after it has been made "more
comfortable." It is trying to a young mother who is proud of her baby's
looks, to go to no end of trouble to get exquisite clothes for it, and ask
all her friends in, and then have it look exactly like a tragedy mask
carved in a beet! And you can scarcely expect a self-respecting baby who
is hauled and mauled and taken to a strange place and handed to a strange
person who pours cold water on it--not to protest. And alas! it has only
one means.
The arrangements made for a house christening are something like those
made for a house wedding--only much simpler. The drawing-room or wherever
the ceremony is to be performed is often decorated with pots of pale pink
roses, or daisies, or branches of dogwood or white lilacs. Nothing is
prettier than the blossoms of fruit trees (if they can be persuaded to
keep their petals on) or any other spring flowers. In summer there are all
the garden flowers. In autumn, cosmos and white chrysanthemums, or at any
season, baby's breath and roses.
The "font" is always a bowl--of silver usually--put on a small high table.
A white napkin on the table inevitably suggests a restaurant rather than a
ritual and is therefore unfortunate, and most people of taste prefer to
have the table covered with old church brocade and an arrangement of
flowers either standing behind or laid upon it so that the stems are
toward the center and covered by the base of the bowl.
If the clergyman is to wear vestments, a room must be put at his disposal.
At the hour set for the ceremony, the clergyman enters the room first and
takes his place at the font. The guests naturally make way, forming an
open aisle. If not, the baby's father or another member of the family
clears an aisle. The godmother carries the baby and follows the clergyman;
the other two godparents walk behind her, and all three stand near the
font. At the proper moment the clergyman takes the baby, baptizes it and
hands it back to the godmother, who holds it until the ceremony is over.
=THE CHRISTENING DRESS=
The christening dress is always especially elaborate and beautiful. Often
it is one that was worn by the baby's mother, father, or even its grand or
great-grandparent. Baby clothes should be as sheer as possible and as
soft. The ideal dress is of mull with much or little valenciennes lace
(real) and finest hand embroidery. But however much or little its
trimming, it must be exquisite in texture. In fact, everything for a baby
ought to be hand-made. It can be as plain as a charity garment, but of
fine material and tiny hand stitches. If the baby is very little, it is
usually laid on a lace trimmed pillow. (This lace, too, must be
valenciennes.)
The godmother or godmothers should wear the sort of clothes that they
would wear at an afternoon tea. The godfather or fathers should wear
formal afternoon clothes. The other guests wear ordinary afternoon
clothes and the mother--unless on the sofa--wears a light-colored
afternoon dress. She should not wear black on this occasion.
As soon as the ceremony is performed, the clergyman goes to the room that
was set apart for him, changes into his ordinary clothes and then returns
to the drawing-room to be one of the guests at luncheon or tea. The
godmother hands the baby to the nurse, or maybe to its mother, and
everyone gathers around to admire it. And the party becomes exactly like
every informal afternoon tea.
The only difference between an ordinary informal tea and a christening is
that a feature of the latter is a christening cake and caudle. The
christening cake is generally a white "lady" cake elaborately iced,
sometimes with the baby's initials, and garlands of pink sugar roses. And
although according to cook-books caudle is a gruel, the actual "caudle"
invariably served at christenings is a hot eggnog, drunk out of little
punch cups. One is supposed to eat the cake as a sign that one partakes of
the baby's hospitality, and is therefore its friend, and to drink the
caudle to its health and prosperity. But by this time the young host (or
hostess) is peacefully asleep in the nursery.