["As regards Home Rule, I did not, of course, say that there were
only three Home-Rulers in the world--Mr. GLADSTONE, Mr. MORLEY,
and myself. I said that ... there were no stronger Home-Rulers,
except myself, than Mr. GLADSTONE and Mr. MORLEY in
Parliament."--_Mr. H. Labouchere, in a Letter to the "Times."_
"Monkeys and parrots show much analogy in character and habits;
they both possess extraordinary powers of imitation, which they
exercise in copying man and his peculiarities. Monkeys 'take off'
his gestures, and parrots his speech."--_Napier's "Book of Nature
and Man."_]
Oh, a merry mime was Jacko!
He could wink, and whiff tobacco,
Like a man (an artful _homo_) and a brother.
And the Parrot--ah! for patter,
And capacity for chatter
On--no matter much _what_ matter,
That gave scope for clitter-clatter,
The world could hardly furnish such another.
The Parrot was a bird
That could talk great bosh with gravity;
The Ape could be absurd
With an air of solemn suavity;
And which to take most seriously, when the mimes were both on show,
There were ill-conditioned scoffers who declared they did not know.
"I am very sure," said Jacko, and he twitched his tail with glee,
"That the only serious creatures in the country are 'We Three'--
You, Polly, honest Jack (an Irish House-dog), and Myself!"
(Here he pulled poor Poll's tail-feathers hard, and capered like an elf.)
Poll held on to his perch, he'd much tenacity of claw,
But performed, involuntarily a sort of sharp see-saw,
And he snorted and looked down
With a very beaky frown,
And his round orb grew as red as any carrot.
"'_We Three_'? your Twelfth-Night tag
Is mere thrasonic brag.
_Tschutt!_ You'll make my tail a rag!
Wish you wouldn't pull and drag
At my feathers in that way!" cried the Parrot.
Chuckled Jacko, "This _is_ prime!
What a dickens of a time
(Like the Parrot and the Monkey in the story)
We shall have! Teach you, no doubt,
Not to leave poor Jacko out
Next time when you are ladling round the glory.
I might share with honest Jack
If of yielding I'd the knack,
Or would stoop to play the flatterer or the flunkey.
Pretty Poll! It is my pride
To assist you--from outside!
And I hope you're duly grateful," said the Monkey.
"_I_ perceive," cried Pretty Polly,
"It's all right, and awfully jolly!
But if you think to pull me from my perch
By the tail, you are mistaken.
Simian tricks will leave unshaken
My hold, though I may seem to sway or lurch.
A bird who knows his book
Can afford to cock a snook
At a chatterer who intrigueth against _his_ chief.
_'We Three'?_ You quote the Clown;
And _you play him_! Yes, I own
Pretty Poll _may_ be pulled down,
But I do not think 'twill be by Monkey 'Mischief!'"
* * * * *
For a Byronic Exam.
_Question._ What proof exists that Lord BYRON shared expenses with the Maid
of Athens?
_Answer._ The line in which he says, "Maid of Athens, ere we 'part,'"--&c.
_Q._ Is there any allusion to billiards in this poem?
_A._ Certainly. It occurs where the Bard says to the Maid, "Take the rest."
* * * * *
"AGAIN WE COME TO THEE, SAVOY!" (_vide old-fashioned duet_).--It is
rumoured that the separation, on account of incompatibility of temper,
between a certain distinguished Composer and an eminent Librettist has come
to an end. Its end is peace--that is, an Operatic piece. They have met; the
two have embraced, and will, no doubt, live happily ever afterwards, on the
same terms as before, with the third party present, whose good offices it
is pretty generally understood (his "good offices" are "Number Something,
The Savoy,"--but this is not an advertisement) have brought about this
veritable "Reunion of Arts."
* * * * *
[Illustration: MISCHIEF!]
* * * * *