SCENE--_Interior of the Sanctum of the_ Young KHEDIVE. _Present,
his Highness. To him enter the_ British Representative.
_British Rep._ I think your Highness desired to see me?
_Khedive._ Certainly, my dear Lord. I wish to express once again my great
regret that I could have done, or said, or thought anything without taking
your advice. You have quite forgiven me?
_Brit. Rep._ (_in a tone of respectful annoyance_). Thank you very much,
your Highness; but as I am exceptionally busy this morning, I think, if you
have nothing more to say to me, I will do myself the honour of taking my
departure.
_Khe._ Oh no--a thousand times, no! Are you not aware that I am very
European in tastes, am fond of books, and have a hobby in a small aquarium?
_British Rep._ So I have read, your Highness, in a London evening paper.
And now, if you will permit me, I will----
_Khe._ Oh no--don't go, I promised you I would consult you in every
important matter--and I mean to keep my word.
_British Rep._ I am glad to hear your Highness say so; and I can answer for
Her Majesty's Government being extremely gratified at the report of this
conversation. I shall make a point of communicating with the Premier
forthwith. And now, with your Highness's gracious permission, I will take
my leave.
_Khe._ What a hurry you are in! I have got a lot of important things to
consult you about, and yet you won't wait a moment! I say, it's not
treating a fellow fairly!
_Brit. Rep._ (_grieved_). I trust your Highness will not repeat that
observation after due consideration. But to show you my anxiety to meet
your Highness's wishes, I will sacrifice the examination of a promising
scheme to make the Nile nine and a half times as productive as it is now,
to listen to you.
_Khe._ You are very good. Well, what do you think of my dressing-gown?
_British Rep._ Capital--in every way capital. But surely you didn't want to
talk about that?
_Khe._ Oh, yes, I did! Would you advise me to have it trimmed with any more
fur?
_British Rep._ I should imagine it was more a matter of taste than
politics.
_Khe._ Oh, hang politics! What do you think about my dressing-gown? Would
your Government recommend fur?
_British Rep._ I think, under the circumstances, I can act on my own
responsibility without further reference to Her Majesty's Government. Yes,
by all means, have fur.
_Khe._ I am infinitely obliged to you. Fact is, I told my tailor I thought
I would have fur, but I did not like to give the order without your advice.
_British Rep._ I trust your Highness accepts my assurance that Her
Majesty's Government are most anxious to prevent you from appearing in a
false position.
_Khe._ It's most civil of you to say so. Then I will have fur.
_British Rep._ And now, if your Highness no longer requires my
presence----.
_Khe._ (_interrupting_). But I do. As I have already said, I've a lot of
things to ask you. Now, I want to know whether it would be to the benefit
of the fellaheen if I visited the theatre more frequently?
_British Rep._ Your Highness will use your own discretion. I think I may
say, without further reference to Downing Street, that Her Majesty's
Government will have not the slightest objection to your Highness indulging
in any innocent recreation.
_Khe._ Come--that's very good of them. But don't go. Look here. There will
be no great harm if I wear brown leather boots?
_British Rep._ I think not, if your Highness, by the exhibition of such a
preference, does not wound the susceptibilities of other Powers. And now,
your Highness, with your permission, I think I must withdraw.
_Khe._ Very well. If you won't stay any longer I suppose you won't. If I
want any more advice I will send over to you.
_British Rep._ I am extremely obliged to your Highness.
[_Bows, and exit._
_Khe._ Glad he's gone! And now that I have consulted him about everything,
I think I will have a little recreation on my own account. What shall I do?
Oh, I know, I will dismiss the entire Ministry!
[_Does so._
(_Curtain._)
* * * * *
"GOING STRONG."--At the Court Theatre the _Pantomime Rehearsal_ in which
Messrs. BROOKFIELD and WEEDON have a capital duet, is just as fresh as
ever. Quite a new piece with all the old fun in it. "Equestrian Scenes in
the Circle," might now be added, as they've got a performing PALFREY who
does a very pretty _scherzo_ or skirt-show dance. "Good entertainment
for"--everybody.
* * * * *
VICE VERSÂ ON THE STAGE.--Re-appearance of Mr. and Mrs. BANCROFT at HARE'S
Theatre. When Mr. HARE made his first appearance in London it was at Mr.
and Mrs. BANCROFT'S Theatre. And _Diplomacy_ is to be revived. This move is
most diplomatic.
* * * * *
"HAPPINESS IN ----."--Professor ST. GEORGE MIVART will be glad to learn
that a telegram from New York, dated the 19th instant, contained the
following interesting item of intelligence.--"A vast quantity of ice is now
at Hell Gate."
* * * * *
DEPRECIATION OF GOLD!--"Guinea Fowls" were sold in the Market last week at
from 2_s._ 5_d._ to 3_s._ 6_d._! and a Plover Golden, was to be had for
ninepence!!
* * * * *
What with _The Daily Bourse_ and dustmen who refuse to remove the
Drury-Lane refuse, our Sir AUGUSTUS DURIOLANUS has been, of late,
considerably Harris'd.
* * * * *
MOTTO FOR THE LADIES WHO BECOME MEMBERS OF MRS. STANNARD'S "ANTI-CRINOLINE
LEAGUE."--"All hoops abandon ye who enter here."
* * * * *
GREAT BRITAIN is a country _per se_--so is every Island, as it is only _per
sea_ it can be reached.
* * * * *
[Illustration: MAKING THE BEST OF IT.
"GOOD MORNING, UNCLE CHARLES! DID YOU SLEEP WELL? I'M AFRAID YOUR BED WAS
RATHER HARD AND UNEVEN; BUT----"
"OH, IT WAS ALL RIGHT, THANKS! I GOT UP NOW AND THEN DURING THE NIGHT, AND
RESTED A BIT, YOU KNOW!"]
* * * * *