_He descants on his Marrying, and lying with an
Indian-Black: Gives wholsome Advice to others; and
concludes for this time._
_At the first sight, her head seem’d in a _Case_,
Or that a _Vizard-mask_ had hid her face,
Or that she was some _Friend_ from hell had stole,
Having for Lust been _burnt_ there to a _cole_.
I could not tell what this foul thing should be:
A _Succubus_ it did appear to me;
A damn’d _black_ soul, that was by heaven sent,
To make me of my _blacker_ crimes repent.
I started from her, being much amaz’d:
The more I was afraid, the more I gaz’d.
Then she arose, and caught me in her arm;
Such soft flesh sure intended me no harm.
’Twas time to roar, since that I could not tell,
But that I was _encircled_ (now) by _Hell_.
Stay, stay, (said she) I am no _hellish fiend_,
I’m flesh and blood, and am thy loving friend:
If my complexion do not please thy minde,
Then close thine eyes, yet love: _Thus love is blinde_.
I understood her tongue, and streight did swear
That I would banish this my causless fear;
And so betook myself unto the _Rug_
On which we lay, and after many a _Tug_,
I plighted _faith_ with this kinde _Infidel_;
But what we did, my modest tongue won’t tell.
I would at any time (might I but chuse)
The _fairest White_ for this same _Black_ refuse.
But mischief on’t, let me _shoot_ e’re so right,
It can’t be said that I did hit the _White_._
Interest so blinded my reason, that I went instantly to my Captain, and
gave him information of my proceedings, desiring his consent in the
marrying this Indian, alleadging how advantagious it would be to me. He
granted my request, upon my earnest importunity; and being dismist from
his service, we were married according to the Ceremonies of the Church
by an English Priest, she renouncing her Paganism. What money was got by
my wifes Trade, I laid out in such Commodities the Country afforded, as
Callico’s, Pepper, Indico, Green-Ginger, _&c._ and sold them immediately
to the Ships lying in the Harbour, doubling what I laid out: so that in
short time I found my stock to increase beyond expectation: such
satisfaction my Black received from me, that she thought she could not
do enough to please me. I was an absolute Monarch in my family; she and
her servants willingly condescended to be my vassals: yet though I thus
enjoy’d the prerogative of an husband, yet I did not Lord it too much;
which won so much upon my wifes affection, and those that were concern’d
with her, that as soon as I desired any thing, it was immediately
performed, with much alacrity and expedition.
I fancy’d my life to be now as happy as the world could make it, having
plenty of every thing, & not control’d by the foolish self-will of an
obstinate woman. I confess it was at first a great regret to my spirit,
to lie by a woman so contrary to my own complexion: but Custom made her
become in process of time as lovely in my eye, as if she had been the
compleatest European beauty. I now again considered how he must live,
that intends to live well; & upon that consideration, concluded upon
this resolution, Not to neglect my duty to Heaven, my Self, or
Neighbors: for he that fails in any of these, falls short in making his
life commendable. For our Selves, we need Order; for our Neighbor,
Charity; and for the Deity, Reverence and Humility. These three duties
are so concatenated, that he which liveth orderly, cannot but be
acceptable to his Maker and the World. Nothing jars the Worlds harmony
more, than men that break their ranks; and nothing renders Man more
contemned and hated, than he whose actions onely tend to irregularity.
One turbulent spirit will even dissentiate the calmest Kingdom: so did
my past unruly and disorderly life ruine my self, as well as many
families. I have seen an Orthodox Minister in his Pulpit with his
congregation about him; and since revolving in my minde the comeliness
of that well-ordered sight, I have thought within my self how mad he
would appear, that should wildly dance out of his room. Such is man when
he spurns at the Law he liveth under; and such was I, that could not be
contain’d within due limits, living like the Drone on others labors;
taking no pains, but onely making a humming noise in the world, till
Justice seiz’d me for a wandring, idle, and hurtful vagabond, (an
_ignavum pecus_) and so had like to thrust me out of the world, the Hive
of industrious Bees.
Ill company at first misled me, and it is to be feared by my example
others have been misled. For he that giveth himself leave to transgress,
he must needs put others out of the way. Experience giveth us to
understand, that he which first disorders himself, troubles all the
company. Would every man keep his own life, what a concord in Musick
would every family be! It shall be my own endeavor to do this, and my
cordial advice to others to do the like.
Doubtless he that performeth his duty to Heaven, shall finde such a
peace within, that shall fit him for whatsoever falls. He shall not fear
himself, because he knoweth his course is order: he shall not fear the
World, because he knoweth he hath done nothing that hath anger’d it: he
shall not be afraid of Heaven, for he knoweth he shall there finde the
favour of a servant, nay more, a Son, and be protected against the
malice of Hell.
I know I shall be lookt on no otherwise than an Hypocrite; neither will
the world believe my reformation real, since I have lived so notoriously
and loosly. Let a man do well an hundred times, it may be he shall for a
short time be remembred and applauded; whereas if he doth evilly but
once, he shall be ever condemned, and never forgot. However, let me live
well, and I care not though the world should flout my innocence, and
call me dissembler: it is no matter if I suffer the worst of censorious
reproaches, so that I get to Heaven at last: to the attaining of which,
the best counsel I can give my self and others is, _Bene vive,
ordinabiliter tibi, sociabiliter Proximo, & humiliter Deo_: Live well,
orderly to thy self, sociably to thy Neighbour, and humbly to thy Maker.
Take this as wholesome advice, though from an ill liver, which hath been
in part discovered in the foregoing Discourse; wherein I have
endeavoured, by drawing up a List of my own evil actions, to frighten
others from the commission of the like. For as there is no company so
savagely bad, but a wise man may from it learn something to make himself
better: so there is no Book so poorly furnished, out of which a man may
not gather something for his benefit. Herein I have not minded so much
words, as the matter; aiming at nothing more then how I might compleatly
limn Vice in her proper ugly shape: having done that, I have done what I
intended, The reformation of others by my wicked example. For Vice is of
such a Toady complexion, so ill shap’d & deform’d, that she cannot chuse
but teach the soul to hate; so loathsome when she is seen in her own
nasty dress, that we cannot look upon her but with detestation and
horrour. Vice was cunning and curiously painted when I fell into her
scabbed embraces; neither could I have ever known her foulness and
rottenness, had I not tried whether her (seeming) fairness and soundness
were real. Believe me, she is no ways that she appears to be; therefore
be not deluded by her: but let my Life be to the Reader, as a friend
fal’n into a pit, that gives warning to another to avoid the danger. So
admirably hath Providence disposed of the ways of man, that even the
sight of Vice in others, is like a Warning-arrow shot for us to take
heed. Vice usually in her greatest bravery, publisheth her self
foolishly, thinking thereby to procure a Train; and then it is, that the
secret working of Conscience makes her turn her weapons against herself,
and strongly plead for her implacable adversary Vertue. We are
frequently wrought to good by contraries; and foul acts keep Vertue from
the charms of Vice. An ancient Poet writ well to this purpose, thus:
_... Insuevit Pater optimus hoc me,
Ut fugerem exemplis vitiorum quæq; notando.
Quum me hortaretur parce, frugaliter, atq;
Viverem uti contentus ea, qtiod mi ipse parasset:
Nonne vides Albi ut male vivat filius? utq;
Barrusinops? Magnum documentum nepatriamrem
Perdere quis vellit. A turpi Meretricis amore
Quum deterreret, Sectani dissimilis sis._
_... Sic me
Formabat puerum dictis...._
... Thus my best father taught
Me to flee Vice, by noting those were naught.
When he would charge me, Thrive, & sparing be,
Content with what he had prepar’d for me;
Seest not how ill young _Albus_ lives? how low
Poor _Barrus_? Sure, a weighty _Item_ how
One spent his means. And when he meant to strike
A hate to Whores, To _Sectan_ be not like.
... Thus me a childe
He with his precepts fashion’d....
There is no better way to correct faults in our selves, than by
observing how uncomely they appear in others. After a fit of
drunkenness, my conscience would usually accuse me, & many times, after
convictment, would pass so severe a sentence of condemnation on me, that
my own hands have oftentimes been like to prove my Executioners.
Considering within my self what should be the cause of this trouble and
self-loathing, I found it proceeded from no other reason than the
observation of others in the like beastly condition, & how noisom it
hath rendred them to all. The first thing that made me abhor a Cholerick
passion, and a fawcy pride in my self, (of which I was too guilty) was
the seeing how ridiculous and contemptible they rendred those that are
infested with them. Besides, those that are thorowly experienc’d in
navigation, do as well know the coasts as the Ocean; as well the sands,
the shallows, & the rocks, as the secured depth in the most dangerless
channel: so I think those that would arrive to as much perfection as
they are capable of enjoying here, must as well know bad, that they may
abtrude or shun it; as the good, that they may embrace it. And this
knowledge we can neither have so cheap, nor so certain, as by seeing it
in others: for under a Crown you may buy the whole experience of a mans
Life, (as of mine) which cost some thousands; though me no more hundreds
than what I borrowed of the world, having of mine own nothing
originally. If we could pass the world without meeting _Vice_, then the
knowledge of Vertue onely were sufficient: but it is impossible to live,
and not encounter her. Vice is as a god in this world: for as she ruleth
almost incontrollably, so she assumes to her self ubiquity; we cannot go
any where, but that she presents her self to the eye, _&c._ If any be
unwittingly cast thereon, let him observe for his own more safe
direction. He is happy, that makes another mans vices steps for him to
climb to his eternal rest by. The wife Physitians make poyson
medicinable; and even the Mud of the world, by the industrious (yet
ingrateful) _Hollander_, is turned to an useful fuel.
If (Reader) then thou lightst here on any thing that is bad, by
considering the sorded stains, either correct those faults thou hast, or
shun those thou mightest have. That Mariner which hath Sea-room, can
make any wind almost serve to set him forwards in his wished voyage: so
may a wise man take any advantage to set himself forward to the haven of
Vertue. Man, assoon as created, had two great suiters for his life and
soul; the one Vertue, and the other Vice: Vertue came in this manner,
and thus attended; Truth ran before her naked, yet couragious; after her
followed Labour, Cold, Hunger, Thirst, Care and Vigilance; these poorly
arrayed, as looking upon it unseemly to go finer than their Mistriss,
who was plainly & meanly clad, yet cleanly, & her countenance shew’d
such a self-perfection, that she might very well emblem whatsoever
Omnipotency could make most rare. Modest she was, and so lovely, that
whosoever lookt on her stedfastly, could not but insoul himself in her.
After her followed Content, enricht with Jewels, and overspread with
Perfumes, carrying with her all the treasure and massie riches of the
world. Then came Joy, with all essential pleasures: Honour, with all the
ancient Orders of Nobility, Scepters, Thrones, and Crowns Imperial.
Lastly, Glory, whose brightness was such, (which she shook from her
Sunny tresses) that it dazled the eyes of her beholders, so that they
could never truly describe her. In the rear came Eternity casting a ring
about them, which like a strong Inchantment made them ever the same.
Vice strove not to be behind-hand with Vertue; wherefore she sets out
too, and in this form: Her precursor or fore-runner was Lying, a painted
houswife, of a smooth, insinuating, and deluding tongue, gaudily clad
all in changeable: but under her vestments she was full of scabs and
loathsome ulcers. Her words seem’d exceeding pleasant, promising to all
she met whatsoever could be wisht for, in the behalf of her Mistress
Vice. On this hypocritical Quean Wit waited: next him, a Conceited
fellow, and one that over-swayed the Fancie of man with his pretty
tricks and gambals. Sloth and Luxury followed these, so full, that they
were even ready to be choaked with their own fat. After these, followed
some Impostors, to personate Content, Joy, and Honour, in all their
wealth and Royal dignities. Close after these, Vice came her self,
sumptuously apparel’d, but yet a nasty surfeited slut; her breath being
so infectious that he which kiss’d her was sure to perish. After her
followed suddenly Guilt, Horror, Shame, Loss, Want, Sorrow, Torment; and
these were charmed with Eternity’s Ring, as the former. And thus they
wooed fond Man, who taken with the subtile cozenages of Vice, yielded to
lie with her; whereby he had his Nature so empoysoned, that his seed was
all vitiated and contaminated; and his corruption even to this day is
still convey’d to his undone posterity. It is mans folly, onely to look
on the fore-runners of Vertue, which are very poor, as Cold, Hunger,
Thirst, _&c._ but not to consider her glorious attendants that follow
after, as Content, Joy, Honor, and Glory. We fancy Vice for her outside,
not imagining what she is when stript of all her Gauderies.
If you then intend to enjoy for your portion a Kingdom hereafter, adhere
not to the allurements of Vice; for she will soon perswade you to be an
unthrift, to sell your Inheritance whilest it is but in Reversion. But
hearken to Vertue’s counsel; she will teach you how to husband all
things well, so as to become a purchaser of no less than Joys eternal.
_Fortunes favors oft do fade,
To those that in her arms do sleep:
Shelter your selves in Vertue’s shade;
She crowneth those that do her reap.
For though darkned, you may say,
When Friends fail, and Fortunes frown,
Though Virtue is the roughest way,
Yet proves at night a bed of Doun._
Thus have I given you a summary account of my life, from the Non-age to
the Meridian of my days. If there be any expressions either scurrilous
or obscene, my onely design was to make Vice appear as she is, foul,
ugly, and deformed: and I hope, he that hath sense will grow wiser by
the folly that is presented him; as Drunkards are often cured by the
beastliness of others that are so. The subject would not permit to be
serious, neither would it have been suitable to our merry age, being
generally of _Tully’s_ minde, when he said, _Lectionem sine ulla
delectatione negligo_: He hated reading where no pleasure dwelt.
As the day-light is purest, so have I endeavored to make my slender Wit
appear terse and spruce, without the fulsomness of wanton language. If I
have in anyplace transgrest the bounds of modesty by loose expressions,
you need not fear to be offended with their unsavoury breath, for I have
perfumed it: but if it should chance to stink, it is only to drive you
from my former inclination and conversation. It is probable I may be a
little guilty, being not fully cured of that malady I lately laboured
under. For as the breaking out of itch and blains shews the body is not
clear, so foul and unrinsed expressions are the parulent exhalations of
a corrupted minde, stained with the unseasonedness of the flesh.
If any loose word have dropt from (the Mindes best Interpreter) my Pen,
I would have the Reader to pass it over regardless, and not like a Toad,
only gather up the venom of a Garden; or like a Goldfinder, make it his
business to dive in stench and excrements. However, very cautious I was
in offending any modest ear, (though sometimes it could hardly be
avoided, the matter in a manner requiring it) because I look upon
obscene expressions as the Plague on Paper; and he that comes between
the sheets, is in danger of being infected. I shall assure you, had I
not more respected a general good, by displaying Vice in general, to put
men out of conceit with it, I should not have taken so much pains, to be
both blam’d and laught at, but should have wrapt up in silence my shame
and infamy. For in truth, this Book may bear a similitude with the
_Amphisbena_, a Serpent headed at either end: one biteth the vicious
temper of him that reads it, and the other stings him that wrote it. To
conclude, I care not though my wickedness and folly be set up as a
Monument to make my infamy eternal, so that the reading of my Life may
be any ways instrumental for the reformation of licentious persons.
_FINIS._
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Transcriber’s note:
Variations in spelling, hyphenation, apostrophisation and capitalisation
have been retained.
Frontispiece, ‘n’d’ changed to ‘n’t.,’ “that is thronged with n’t.”
Page vi, comma changed to full stop following ‘hereof,’ “have hereof. I
am so”
Page 8, ‘mourh’ changed to ‘mouth,’ “from my mouth. And then”
Page 10, ‘Surpliee’ changed to ‘Surplice,’ “or Surplice, was adjudged”
Page 16, closing parenthesis inserted following ‘him,’ “(which I
temptingly shewed him)”
Page 17, closing parenthesis changed to comma following ‘Preacher,’ “for
being a protestant Preacher,”
Page 18, ‘minu’ changed to ‘menu,’ “to the menu of the true Church”
Page 22, ‘to’ changed to ‘too,’ “of him, yet too forward”
Page 23, ‘irecoverably’ changed to ‘irrecoverably,’ “precious time
(irrecoverably) I had lost”
Page 34, ‘&c’ changed to ‘&c.,’ “Crabs, Bullies, &c., and longed to”
Page 39, comma changed to full stop following “Swigmen.”
Page 41, comma changed to closing parenthesis following ‘injustice,’
“that must needs (without injustice) be commemorized”