_He puts a notable Trick upon a Physician._
Near adjacent to our general randezvous, I was informed of the
habitation of a wealthy Physician, who had shewed himself fortunately
expert in divers Cures, where it seemed that humane art had not
sufficient power to give a remedy. The fame of his great skill, and of
many admirable cures, which to the shame of other Physicians, he had
performed, made him so generally beloved and sought after, that in a
short time he purchased by his sanatory industry, above 500 _l._ _per
annum_, and seldom had less by him then a thousand pound. Thus much I
casually understood from one accidentally, speaking of this his rich
Neighbour: but that which pleased me most was, that (as he said) he
seldom carried less then an 100 pieces of gold about him constantly,
proceeding from a fancy derived from an extream love he bore that Metal.
I could not sleep for contriving a way how I might disembogue this
Urinal of what it contained: sometimes I way-laid him in his return; but
he was so well esteemed of, that he seldom returned home without two or
three Gentlemen to accompany him. At another time I thought to have
pretended some distemper, and so have applied my self to him for Cure;
and imagining that he would privately discourse with me about my Malady,
that then I would present a Pistol to his breast, swearing, that should
be his immediate and unavoidable Executioner, if he did not without the
least noise or resistance, deliver such a quantity of Gold; but this way
I could not approve of, it being accompanied with so much hazard. At
last I thought of this stratagem, which safely produced its effect: One
day after dinner I rid to his house (seemingly) in extream haste, which
he might perceive not only by my own affrighted looks, but by my horse,
which was all of a foam. I askt his servant, with much quickness,
whether Mr. Doctor was within; yes, Sir, (said he) if you please to walk
in, I shall call him to you. I waited some time (for most of that
profession must take some state upon them) and then Mr. Doctor came.
Sir, (said I) the report of your great experience in your happy Practice
hath brought me hither, humbly imploring your assistance, and that
instantly, if you have any respect to the preservation of life: the
trouble I shall put you to, shall be gratefully recompensed to the
utmost of my ability. The Doctor inquired of me, whom it was, and what
manner of distemper the person laboured under. I readily told him, it
was my Wife, who for some continuance of time, had been extreamly
troubled with the flux of her Belly; the more that is applied to it by
us, the more it increaseth; wherefore, our help failing, I beseech you
lend us yours, and favour me so far as to ride with me to her. The
seeming sincerity of my words prevailed upon him, as they would have
done upon the most distrustful. This Doctor (who as I was informed, was
accustomed to be induced more by gain, then fair words) gave me this
desirable answer: Sir, far be it from me that I should refuse to do my
endeavour to any person whatever, much less to a Gentleman of your rank
and quality, in that little skill which I have in the knowledge and
practice of Physick: if I can effect any thing for the good of the good
Gentlewoman your Wife, I will attend you thither with a very good will,
which at any time my charge requireth. Without attending any further
discourse, his horse was made ready, and so we rid away together. As we
rid through a small Wood, leading him the way, I turned my horse about,
and clapt a Pistol to his breast, shewing him withal an empty bag: See
here, Sir, (said I) my Wife, which hath a long time been troubled with a
flux or vomiting, which you please, the last I think more proper; for
she no sooner receives anything for her (and my) sustenance, but she
immediately brings it up again at her mouth. Now Sir, if you do not find
out some means to mitigate this distemper (the cure I shall never
expect, as knowing it impossible) this Pistol shall send you to
_Æsculapius_, to consult with him what is most fit to be administred:
come, Sir, let me advise you, and save your self the trouble of so long
a journey; your gold (an hundred pieces as I am told) are the constant
attending Esquires of your body; I say, that is the best and only
_Recipe_ for a remedy. The Doctor perceiving there was no help, in much
amazement and fear delivered me what gold he had about him, which was
neer upon the sum exprest: there was a rich Diamond-Ring on his finger,
which I desired him likewise to give me, which should serve for a
perpetual _memorandum_ of his kindness to me. I commanded him, as he
tendred his life, to ride back again, without so much as once looking
behinde him; and that if he offered to raise the Country, if I was sure
to die that instant, I would be the death of him first. The Doctor
followed my dictations so exactly, that I never heard more of him.