_From this Farmers house he rides he cared not whither, On
the Road he is strangely surprized by a Woman-robber in
Mans apparrel; He discovers it by unbuttoning her
Breeches to search for private Pockets within. They two
conclude a perpetual Friendship._
Abruptly taking my leave of the Farmer and his loving Daughter, I rid a
long time, but met with none worthy of my taking Cognizance: being
wearied, I struck into an Inn, and by that time I had throughly refresht
my self, the evening began to approach. Whereupon I mounted, and so put
on, Passing by a small Coppice in a bottom between two Hills, a
Gentleman (as I then supposed) well armed, and handsomely accoutred,
started out upon me, and bid me deliver instantly. Hearing him say so, I
told him if he would have but the patience I would; and with that drew
out a Pocket-Pistol and fired it at him, without doing any execution. If
you are for a little sport (said the Gentleman) I shall show you some
instantly; whereupon drawing a Pistol he shot me into the leg: having so
done, with his Sword (which hung ready at his wrist) neatly at a blow he
cut the reins of my bridle, so that I was not able to guide my horse.
But he being good at command, and used to the charge, with the winding
of my body I gave him to understand what he was to do. Come Sir, said my
adversary, have you enough yet? In faith Sir, said I, I’le exchange but
one Pistol more, and if that prove insuccessful I shall submit to your
mercy. Whereupon I shot, but missed my mark, however I killed his Horse,
which instantly fell: my Gentleman was so nimble, that before I could
think what to do, he had sheathed his sword in my Horses belly, which
made me come tumbling down too with a _Horse-pox_. Once more, said my
Antagonist, we are upon equal terms, and since the obscurity of the
place gives us freedom, let us try our courages, one must fall. And
thereupon with his Sword (which was for cut and thrust) he made a full
pass at my bodie; but putting it by I closed in with him, and upon the
Hug threw him with much facility; I wondered much at it; which I need
not have done, since his nature (as afterwards I understood) was so
prone to it. Having him down, Now, Sir, said I, I shall teach you to be
careful on whom you set: you have as imprudently undertaken this
enterprize as a _Pickeroon_ did once, who seeing a Man of War high
built, and but few men aboard her discoverable, her Port-holes being
likewise fast, clapt her aboard immediately, thinking she had been a
Merchantman; but they found the contrary, the deck being instantly
filled with men that were below, and running out her Guns there could be
no wisdom in resistance. Wherefore now Sir yield, or I shall compel you.
With much reluctancy he did. With cords I had ready for that purpose, I
tyed both his hands and feet, and so fell to rifling him. Unbuttoning
his Doublet to find whether there was no Gold quilted therein, I
wondered to see a pair of Breasts so unexpectedly greater and whiter
then any mans; but being intent about my business, that amazement
vanisht from my thoughts. Then did I come to his breeches (which I laid
open) my curious search omitted not any place wherein I might suspect
the concealment of moneys: at last proffering to remove his shirt from
between his legs, he suddenly cryed out (and strove to lay his hand
there, but could not) I beseech you Sir be civil, said he: I imagining
that some notable _Treasure_ lay there obscured, I pulled up his shirt
(_alias_ Smock) and found my self not much mistaken.
The sight so surprized me, as if I had been converted into a Statue by
the head of a _Gorgon_, but after a little pause, I hastily unbound her,
and taking her in my Armes, Pardon me most couragious _Amazon_, (said I)
for thus rudely dealing with you, it was nothing but ignorance that
caused this errour; for could my dim-sighted soul have distinguisht what
you were, the greatness of love and respect I bear your Sex would have
deterred me from contending with you. But I esteem this my ignorance, my
greatest happiness, since knowledge in this case would have deprived me
of the benefit of knowing there could be so much Prowess in a Woman. For
your sake I shall ever retain (since you have restored it) a good esteem
of the worst of Females. She beg’d me not to be too tedious in my
expressions, nor pump for eloquent phrases, alledging this was no proper
place to make Orations in. But if you will enlarge your self, let us go
to a place not far distant from this, better known, but to few besides
my self. I liked her advice very well, and returning what I had taken
from her, I followed it, by following her through divers obscure
passages till we came to a Wood, where in a place the Sun had not seen
since the first deluge, stood an House. At our approach the Servants
were all in a hurry who should first obey Mrs. _Virago’s_ commands, for
they all knew her, being no way estranged to her disguise, but wondered
to see St. _George_, and his trusty Esquire on foot, neither durst they
show themselves inquisitive presently: with much respect we were
conducted into a very stately room, where embracing each other, we knit
an indissolvable tye of friendship.