_A Merchant seeing him begging, took a fancy to him,
conducts him to his House, and entertains him as his
Servant._
One day as I was begging, more fervently then formerly, having gotten
not one penny that day, so that I found a civil war between my Guts and
Stomack, yet knew not how to salve up the difference; neither would they
hearken to any thing but a Bill of Fare. In the midst of this
combustion, a Tradesman of no mean quality, passing by, took a strong
fancy to me, being extraordinarily pleased with the form of my face and
body. He asked me, Whence I came? what my Parents were? and what I
intended? I answered him with well contriv’d forgeries, that seemed to
give him good satisfaction: liking well both my speech and
understanding, he bid me follow him, which accordingly I did; having
conducted me to his house, he presented me to his Wife, my intended
Mistris, telling her his resolutions of receiving me into his service;
at which she blest her self, saying, _Prithee, Sweet-heart, from what
Dunghil didst thou pick up this _Shakerag_, this Squire of the body?
This thing drest up in sippits? This Scarecrow, what shall I call him?_
(for I am sure I had but few cloathes on, but what were rather fit to
dung ground, then to be sent to the Paper-mill.) Said my Master, _Rest
yourself satisfied, since it is my pleasure, this shall be so: neither
can I give you any reason for my fancy_. Whereupon he commanded me to be
stript, and well washed; in the mean time cloaths were provided for me,
a suit of one of his Apprentices. A great Vessel like _Cornelius_ his
Tub, was filled with water to bath me, but so cunningly set by the
Maids, (though privately) that they might see me all over naked. It was
my good fortune to observe my Mistress standing in a private place on
purpose to see me dismantled; and after I was washed, she commended the
whiteness of my skin and well-proportioned limbs; and by the consequent,
approv’d within her self of something else, for I was then a stubbed
Lad. Being new clothed, and raised to this unexpected fortune, how
strangely did this vain blast puff up my empty pate! However, I was
resolved to carry my self discreetly, lest I should overthrow the state
I was then in, not yet well settled. Wherefore I behaved myself very
respectfully towards my Master, and served him as punctually as I could,
endeavouring that my service should requite his kindness in as great
measure as my abilities could perform.
My endeavour was not only to please my Master, but my Mistress too, even
in the meanest services; so officious to her, that I was ready to
perform the office of a Chamber-maid. The maid-servants I obliged also,
by doing their duty, as making the fires, washing the Kitching, nimbly
and willingly doing any thing they would have me; by which I so
ingratiated my self among them, that I always had their good estimation
among themselves, and good word to my Master and Mistress when occasion
served. Very careful I was, not to report what I heard, lest I by that
means, involv’d my self in the affairs of others, without advantage to
my self. For by meddling in others matters, I should breed animosity
among them, and reap just hatred to my self, when discovered to be the
too too busie intelligencer. This I looked on as an undeniable maxime,
That nothing more recommends a man, then a silent tongue, (unless
necessity required the contrary) a fair complacential carriage, and a
faithful heart. My Master in a humour would sometimes find fault with
me, but then it was my chiefest care not to reply, knowing, that what
should be alleadged as to my just vindication, would but aggravate his
spirits being passionate, alwayes punctually performing what was
commanded me. To try my fidelity, he would lay a sixpence on the
Counter, or in the Window, as if it had been left there forgotten. I was
wiser then to be caught so, and therefore would instantly carry him the
money. One time sending me out to buy something, instead of a shilling
he gave me among other money a piece of Gold; I took no notice of it
then, but being gone a little way, I came running back out of breath to
restore him the piece; this and the like made my Master stand amazed at
my seeming honesty. A strange alteration, you will say; but all this was
only to get a good esteem, whereby I might gain fast footing. What
though I underwent a great deal of pains, and had my patience tried to
the height? Yet I gain’d much in the end, had God given me grace rightly
to use it, and the baseness of my nature not perswaded me to abuse it.
So much credit I had gotten with my Master, by my civil behaviour, that
he raised me _gradatim_, step by step. Being ignorant of Arithmetick; he
caused a Master to come to his house to instruct me, which I soon
apprehended, and by that means was capacitated to keep his accompts,
which was the thing I aim’d at, intending thereby the prosecution of
mine own ends, notwithstanding my pretended fidelity, and his real
kindness to me undeserv’d: which puts me in mind of the conclusion of an
Epitaph I have read on a Tomb, which the Master erected for the
perpetual commemoration of his servants cordial respect and honesty.
_View oft his Tomb-stone, since we seldome find,
A servant faithful, and his Master kind._
Now to the intent I might compleat my conquest of his heart, I pretended
my self an _Independent_, not omitting any opportunity of going to their
meetings; and upon all occasions would rail against Steeple-houses (as
we called them) and tear the Bishops holland sleaves to pieces, calling
them the impure rags of the Babylonish Whores Smock, &c. I would pray
mornings and evenings so loud, so late, and so early, that my neighbours
could hardly sleep for me, much less those of our own Family.
Notwithstanding all this piety, not a day past wherein I cheated not my
Master. Thus did I delude his eyes with pretended sanctity, yet
concluded with the Poet,
_Da mihi fallere, da justum Sanctumque videri,
Noctem peccatis & fraudibus objice nubem._
_Let me seem just; to cheat the better shrow’d,
Let my deceits be hidden in a Cloud._
How much did I silly fool deceive my self, thinking my self secure,
because no mortal eye saw me. Be not thus cheated as I was, for assure
your self there is no darkness so thick and obscure, which the
All-over-seeing and Eternal piercing eye cannot penetrate——
_Cernit Deus omnia vindex._
A passage remarkable in _Erasmus_ I read to this purpose concerning a
young Gentleman, whom a wanton Lady tempted, who used this expression as
his last and best Refuge. _Art not thou ashamed to do that in the sight
of thy Maker, and the Holy Angels, which thou art ashamed to do in the
sight of men._ We are afraid of disgrace with men, not caring for the
Grace of God.
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