_Coming to _London_, he enters himself into the society of
Beggars, distinguished by these Titles, _Ben seakers_,
_Dommerars_, _Clapperdogeons_, &c., with a short
description of their Manners and Customes; as also a
relation of a piece of Theft he committed._
Coming up to _London_, we straight way betook our selves to
_Newington-Butts_, but by the way, my Friend could not forbear calling
on his Friends in _Kent-street_, there they gave me a Nick-name; and my
Comrade immediately fell to work, to put himself into an equipage fit
for the employment we had undertaken. He needed not to alter his habit;
but his chief aim was to make counterfeit Sores or Clymes, according to
the term of Art that is given them. With the assistance of some of the
Fraternity, he had in an hours time, such a Leg, that I could hardly
look upon it without even dropping down; and thus they made it; They
took unslaked Lime and Sope, mingled with the rust of old Iron: these
being well temper’d together, they did spred it thick on two pieces of
leather, which they apply’d to his Leg, binding it thereunto very hard,
which in a short time did fret off the skin, the flesh appearing all
raw; then did they take blood and rub’d it all over his Leg; which being
fully dried, made the Leg appear all black, the Sore they did only let
peep out of the holes of five or six matterish clouts. He soon got us a
Doxie too, with a couple of children, (the fitter for our purpose) the
one to carry in her arms, and the other to lead. Providing himself and
me with a good lusty _Filch_ or _Stick_, with a hole at the end thereof,
to put in a hook if occasion should serve, to filch any thing off
Hedges, _&c._ Away we went into _Moor-fields_: he would have made me a
_Clyme_ too, or an Artificial sore; but my stomack would no wayes accept
of his kindness. Coming into the Fields, he planted me in a convenient
place, the _Doxie_ with her _Lullaby-cheats_ in another; and himself in
a third, not far distant from one another, that one might catch the
others _Maunding_ at the rebound. I observ’d my _Friend_ and _Rogue_
diligently, what he did, for my own information. One would have sworn he
had been absolutely lame, for (about to lie down) he slid to the earth
by his Staff; being on the ground, the first thing I took notice of; was
the pitious distorting of his face into various forms, to stir up
compassion in such as passed by him; to which he added, a most doleful
noise to this effect; _For Gods sake some tender hearted Christians,
cast through your merciful eyes one pittiful look upon a sore, lame, and
miserable wretch: Bestow one penny or half-penny upon him that is ready
to perish_, &c. I knew not how to tune my voice, for hearkening to him;
which he observing (when all the people were passed by) he held up his
stick at me, a strong argument of his great displeasure, which lest I
might farther incur, I was forced to tone it out to some purpose. Night
approaching, we left off begging, resolving to recreate our selves with
what we had got: in the way home, I saw a very fine piece of Beef lying
on a Butchers-stall, the woman that kept the shop, was telling a Gossips
tale to her neighbour so intentively, as I thought I might seize on my
prey, and she never the wiser; with that I boldly snatched it up; which
an opposite neighbour perceiving, ran after me, and soon took me. I was
brought back before the woman, who was so wise (forsooth) that she would
not receive stollen goods, though they were her own; and so inraged she
was, that nothing would serve her turn, but I must go before a Justice;
and to add to my punishment, she made me carry the stollen Beef openly.
Coming before his Worship, my accusation was read, aggravated by many
feigned circumstances. The pitiful and sad calls of my eyes, were all
the Rhetorick I used in my own vindication; which the merciful Justice
perceiving, they were so prevalent, as to gain some favour from him;
whereupon he ask’d the woman what she valued her Beef at? _Why_ (said
she) _I would not have abated a penny of five shillings. Take heed what
you say, good woman_, (said he) _for should you swear this, it is enough
to hang him. O Lord, Sir_, (said she) _I would not hang him for a
world_; then said his Worship, _You must prize it under thirteen pence
half-penny_; whereupon the Butchers Wife was content to value it at
eight pence. The price being set, the Beef was conveyed into the
Justices Kitchin, and the woman put to her Oath; having sworn, my
_Mittimus_ was made, and therewith sent to Prison. The woman now thought
she should have her Beef surely, and without any danger in the
reception, and therefore demanded it; but the Justice told her he would
buy it of her, and so asked her what she would have for it: _Sir_, (said
she) five shillings; I cannot afford it one farthing under. How, how!
(said he) did you not swear but even now, it was worth but eight pence,
and do you now talk of five shillings? A mear Cheat, Extortioner, &c.
Make her _Mittimus_, (speaking to his Clerk) which so terrified the
Woman, that she cried out most pitteously; good your Worship, do not
send me to Prison, and do with me what you please. The Justice at this
lookt stedfastly upon her (who was not so old but that he could discern
a handsome woman when he faw her) and indeed generally your Butchers
have jolly handsome Wives; otherwise they may be ashamed to serve seven
years in handling and choosing good flesh for others, and at last know
not how to make choice of a fine young plump juicie bit for themselves.
I say, the Justice looking upon her, smiled, yet seemed to reprove her
sharply, and at last pretended he had something to tell her he would not
have every one hear, carried her into a withdrawing Room, where they
staid not long but out she came and declared openly that she would never
desire more justice done her, than that good and just Justice (as she
called him) had shown her. And as I understood afterwards, he did her so
much right, that she sent him in an half dozen of Bottles of Canary, and
supt with him on her own flesh; I in the mean time wished them both
choaked in the eating thereof; for never did _Roman Catholick_ endure
greater and severer _pennance_ for eating flesh on _Good-friday_; then I
for coveting this; I have lov’d a Capon the better for it ever since.
For I was no sooner gotten out into the street, but I had a hundred
people about me, crying which is the young Rogue; this, this is he said
the Butcher, pretending to lay his hand upon my shoulder, but gave me a
terrible nip by the ear, which made me roar out so loud and so suddenly
unexpected, that my Gentleman Usher that was leading me by the arm to
the _White Lyon_, starting, let go his hold. There was no dallying with
so fair an opportunity, fear and love of sweet liberty so wing’d my
feet, that running instantly hereupon, I was gotten presently a great
way before them. The Harmanbeck, Huntsman or Constable seeing this,
unable to run himself by reason of that great load of flesh he
constantly carried about him, set a pack of young yelping Curs to track
the scent, but they were soon all at a loss: and so I escapt their
clutches.
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