_R.B. to E.B.B._
Wednesday Morning.
[Post-mark, July 9, 1845.]
You are all that is good and kind: I am happy and thankful the
beginning (and worst of it) is over and so well. The Park and Mr.
Kenyon's all in good time--and your sister was most prudent--and you
mean to try again: God bless you, all to be said or done--but, as I
say it, no vain word. No doubt it was a mere chance-thought, and _à
propos de bottes_ of Horne--neither he or any other _can_ know or even
fancy how it is. Indeed, though on other grounds I should be all so
proud of being known for your friend by everybody, yet there's no
denying the deep delight of playing the Eastern Jew's part here in
this London--they go about, you know by travel-books, with the tokens
of extreme destitution and misery, and steal by blind ways and
by-paths to some blank dreary house, one obscure door in it--which
being well shut behind them, they grope on through a dark corridor or
so, and then, a blaze follows the lifting a curtain or the like, for
they are in a palace-hall with fountains and light, and marble and
gold, of which the envious are never to dream! And I, too, love to
have few friends, and to live alone, and to see you from week to week.
Do you not suppose I am grateful?
And you do like the 'Duchess,' as much as you have got of it? that
delights me, too--for every reason. But I fear I shall not be able to
bring you the rest to-morrow--Thursday, my day--because I have been
broken in upon more than one morning; nor, though much better in my
head, can I do anything at night just now. All will come right
eventually, I hope, and I shall transcribe the other things you are to
judge.
To-morrow then--only (and that is why I would write) do, do _know_ me
for what I am and treat me as I deserve in that _one_ respect, and _go
out_, without a moment's thought or care, if to-morrow should suit
you--leave word to that effect and I shall be as glad as if I saw you
or more--_reasoned_ gladness, you know. Or you can write--though that
is not necessary at all,--do think of all this!