TREBELL. If it does! . . whose has been the real offence against Society
. . hers or mine? It's I who am most offended . . if I choose to think
so.
BLACKBOROUGH. You seem to forget the adultery.
TREBELL. Isn't Death divorce enough for her? And . . oh, wasn't I right?
. . What do you start thinking of once the shock's over? Punishment . .
revenge . . uselessness . . waste of me.
FARRANT. [_With finality._] If your name comes out at the inquest, to
talk of anything but retirement from public life is perfect lunacy . .
and you know it.
HORSHAM _comes back from the passage. He is a little distracted; then
the more so at finding himself again in a highly-charged atmosphere._
HORSHAM. He's gone off with Wedgecroft.
TREBELL. [_Including_ HORSHAM _now in his appeal._] Does anyone think he
knows me now to be a worse man . . less fit, less able . . than he did a
week ago?
_From the piano-stool comes_ CANTELUPE'S _quiet voice_.
CANTELUPE. Yes, Trebell . . I do.
TREBELL _wheels round at this and ceases all bluster_.
TREBELL. On what grounds?
CANTELUPE. Unarguable ones.
HORSHAM. [_Finding refuge again in his mantelpiece._] You know, he has
gone off without giving me his promise.
FARRANT. That's your own fault, Trebell.
HORSHAM. The fool says I didn't give him explicit instructions.
FARRANT. What fool?
HORSHAM. That man . . [_The name fails him._] . . my new man. One of
those touches of Fate's little finger, really.
_He begins to consult the ceiling and the carpet once more._ TREBELL
_tackles_ CANTELUPE _with gravity_.
TREBELL. I have only a logical mind, Cantelupe. I know that to make
myself a capable man I've purged myself of all the sins . . I never was
idle enough to commit. I know that if your God didn't make use of men,
sins and all . . what would ever be done in the world? That one natural
action, which the slight shifting of a social law could have made as
negligible as eating a meal, can make me incapable . . takes the
linch-pin out of one's brain, doesn't it?
HORSHAM. Trebell, we've been doing our best to get you out of this mess.
Your remarks to O'Connell weren't of any assistance, and . .
CANTELUPE _stands up, so momentously that_ HORSHAM'S _gentle flow of
speech dries up_.
CANTELUPE. Perhaps I had better say at once that, whatever hushing up
you may succeed in, it will be impossible for me to sit in a cabinet
with Mr. Trebell.
_It takes even_ FARRANT _a good half minute to recover his power of
speech on this new issue_.
FARRANT. What perfect nonsense, Cantelupe! I hope you don't mean that.
BLACKBOROUGH. Complication number one, Horsham.
FARRANT. [_Working up his protest._] Why on earth not? You really
mustn't drag your personal feelings and prejudices into important
matters like this . . matters of state.
CANTELUPE. I think I have no choice, when Trebell stands convicted of a
mortal sin, of which he has not even repented.
TREBELL. [_With bitterest cynicism._] Dictate any form of repentance you
like . . my signature is yours.
CANTELUPE. Is this a matter for intellectual jugglery?
TREBELL. [_His defence failing at last._] I offered to face the scandal
from my place in the House. That was mad, wasn't it . .
BLACKBOROUGH--_his course mapped out--changes the tone of the
discussion_.
BLACKBOROUGH. Horsham, I hope Trebell will believe I have no personal
feelings in this matter, but we may as well face the fact even now that
O'Connell holding his tongue to-morrow won't stop gossip in the House,
club gossip, gossip in drawing rooms. What do the Radicals really care
so long as a scandal doesn't get into the papers! There's an inner
circle with its eye on us.
FARRANT. Well, what does that care as long as scandal's its own
copyright? Do you know, my dear father refused a peerage because he felt
it meant putting blinkers on his best newspaper.
BLACKBOROUGH. [_A little subtly._] Still . . now you and Horsham are
cousins, aren't you?
FARRANT. [_Off the track and explanatory._] No, no . . my wife's mother
. . .
BLACKBOROUGH. I'm inaccurate, for I'm not one of the family circle
myself. My money gets me here and any skill I've used in making it. It
wouldn't keep me at a pinch. And Trebell . . [_He speaks through his
teeth._] . . do you think your accession to power in the party is
popular at the best? Who is going to put out a finger to make it less
awkward for Horsham to stick to you if there's a chance of your going
under?
TREBELL _smiles at some mental picture he is making_.
TREBELL. Can your cousins and aunts make it so awkward for you, Horsham?
HORSHAM. [_Repaying humour with humour._] I bear up against their
affectionate attentions.
TREBELL. But I quite understand how uncongenial I may be. What made you
take up with me at all?
FARRANT. Your brains, Trebell.
TREBELL. He should have enquired into my character first, shouldn't he,
Cantelupe?
CANTELUPE. [_With crushing sincerity._] Yes.
TREBELL. Oh, the old unnecessary choice . . Wisdom or Virtue. We all
think we must make it . . and we all discover we can't. But if you've to
choose between Cantelupe and me, Horsham, I quite see you've no choice.
HORSHAM _now takes the field, using his own weapons_.
HORSHAM. Charles, it seems to me that we are somewhat in the position of
men who have overheard a private conversation. Do you feel justified in
making public use of it?
CANTELUPE. It is not I who am judge. God knows I would not sit in
judgment upon anyone.
TREBELL. Cantelupe, I'll take your personal judgment if you can give it
me.
FARRANT. Good Lord, Cantelupe, didn't you sit in a cabinet with . .
Well, we're not here to rake up old scandals.
BLACKBOROUGH. I am concerned with the practical issue.
HORSHAM. We know, Blackborough. [_Having quelled the interruption he
proceeds._] Charles, you spoke, I think, of a mortal sin.
CANTELUPE. In spite of your lifted eyebrows at the childishness of the
word.
HORSHAM. Theoretically, we must all wish to guide ourselves by eternal
truths. But you would admit, wouldn't you, that we can only deal with
temporal things?
CANTELUPE. [_Writhing slightly under the sceptical cross-examination._]
There are divine laws laid down for our guidance . . I admit no
disbelief in them.
HORSHAM. Do they place any time-limit to the effect of a mortal sin? If
this affair were twenty years old would you do as you are doing? Can you
forecast the opinion you will have of it six months hence?
CANTELUPE. [_Positively._] Yes.
HORSHAM. Can you? Nevertheless I wish you had postponed your decision
even till to-morrow.
_Having made his point he looks round almost for approval._
BLACKBOROUGH. What had Percival to say on the subject, Farrant?
FARRANT. I was only to make use of his opinion under certain
circumstances.
BLACKBOROUGH. So it isn't favourable to your remaining with us, Mr.
Trebell.
FARRANT. [_Indignantly emerging from the trap._] I never said that.
_Now_ TREBELL _gives the matter another turn, very forcefully_.
TREBELL. Horsham . . I don't bow politely and stand aside at this
juncture as a gentleman should, because I want to know how the work's to
be done if I leave you what I was to do.
BLACKBOROUGH. Are we so incompetent?
TREBELL. I daresay not. I want to know . . that's all.
CANTELUPE. Please understand, Mr. Trebell, that I have in no way altered
my good opinion of your proposals.
BLACKBOROUGH. Well, I beg to remind you, Horsham, that from the first
I've reserved myself liberty to criticise fundamental points in the
scheme.
HORSHAM. [_Pacifically._] Quite so . . quite so.
BLACKBOROUGH. That nonsensical new standard of teachers' salaries for
one thing . . you'd never pass it.
HORSHAM. Quite easily. It's an administrative point, so leave the
legislation vague. Then, as the appropriation money falls in, the
qualifications rise and the salaries rise. No one will object because no
one will appreciate it but administrators past or future . . and they
never cavil at money. [_He remains lost in the beauty of this
prospect._]
TREBELL. Will you take charge of the bill, Blackborough?
BLACKBOROUGH. Are you serious?
HORSHAM. [_Brought to earth._] Oh no! [_He corrects himself smiling._] I
mean, my dear Blackborough, why not stick to the Colonies?
BLACKBOROUGH. You see, Trebell, there's still the possibility that
O'Connell may finally spike your gun tomorrow. You realise that, don't
you?
TREBELL. Thank you. I quite realise that.
CANTELUPE. Can nothing further be done?
BLACKBOROUGH. Weren't we doing our best?
HORSHAM. Yes . . if we were bending our thoughts to that difficulty
now . . .
TREBELL. [_Hardly._] May I ask you to interfere on my behalf no further?
FARRANT. My dear Trebell!
TREBELL. I assure you that I am interested in the Disestablishment Bill.
_So they turn readily enough from the more uncomfortable part of their
subject._
BLACKBOROUGH. Well . . here's Farrant.
FARRANT. I'm no good. Give me Agriculture.
BLACKBOROUGH. Pity you're in the Lords, Horsham.
TREBELL. Horsham, I'll devil for any man you choose to name . . feed him
sentence by sentence. . .
HORSHAM. That's impossible.
TREBELL. Well, what's to become of my bill? I want to know.
BLACKBOROUGH. [_Casting his care on Providence._] We shall manage
somehow. Why, if you had died suddenly . . or let us say, never been
born. . .
TREBELL. Then, Blackborough . . speaking as a dying man . . if you go
back on the integrity of this scheme, I'll haunt you. [_Having said this
with some finality, he turns his back._]
CANTELUPE. Cyril, I agree with what Trebell is saying. Whatever happens
there must be no tampering with the comprehensiveness of the scheme.
Remember you are in the hands of the extremists . . on both sides. I
won't support a compromise on one . . nor will they on the other.
HORSHAM. Well, I'll confess to you candidly, Trebell, that I don't know
of any man available for this piece of work but you.
TREBELL. Then I should say it would be almost a relief to you if
O'Connell tells on me to-morrow.
FARRANT. We seem to have got off that subject altogether. [_There comes
a portentous tap at the door._] Good Lord! . . I'm getting jumpy.
HORSHAM. Excuse me.
_A note is handed to him through the half opened door; and obviously it
is at_ EDMUNDS _whom he frowns. Then he returns fidgetting for his
glasses_.
Oh, it turns out . . I'm so sorry you were blundered in here, Trebell . .
this man . . what's his name . . Edwards . . had been reading the
papers and thought it was a cabinet council . . seemed proud of himself.
This is from Wedgecroft . . scribbled in a messenger office. I never can
read his writing . . it's like prescriptions. Can you?
_It has gradually dawned on the three men and then on_ TREBELL _what
this note may have in it_. FARRANT'S _hand even trembles a little as he
takes it. He gathers the meaning himself and looks at the others with a
smile before he reads the few words aloud._