I had some intentions lately of going to visit Bedlam, the place where
those who go mad are confined. I went to wait upon the man in black to
be my conductor; but I found him preparing to go to Westminster Hall,
where the English hold their courts of justice. It gave me some
surprise to find my friend engaged in a law-suit, but more so, when he
informed me that it had been depending for several years. "How is it
possible," cried I, "for a man who knows the world to go to law? I am
well acquainted with the courts of justice in China; they resemble
rat-traps every one of them; nothing more easy than to get in, but to
get out again is attended with some difficulty, and more cunning than
rats are generally found to possess!"
"Faith," replied my friend, "I should not have gone to law, but that I
was assured of success before I began; things were presented to me in
so alluring a light, that I thought by barely declaring myself a
candidate for the prize, I had nothing more to do than to enjoy the
fruits of the victory. Thus have I been upon the eve of an imaginary
triumph every term these ten years; have travelled forward with
victory ever in my view, but ever out of reach; however, at present I
fancy we have hampered our antagonist in such a manner, that without
some unforeseen demur, we shall this day lay him fairly on his back."
"If things be so situated," said I, "I do not care if I attend you to
the courts, and partake in the pleasure of your success. But prithee,"
continued I, as we set forward, "what reasons have you to think an
affair at last concluded, which has given so many former
disappointments?"--"My lawyer tells me," returned he, "that I have
Salkeld and Ventris strong in my favour, and that there are no less
than fifteen cases in point."--"I understand," said I, "those are two
of your judges who have already declared their opinions."--"Pardon
me," replied my friend, "Salkeld and Ventris are lawyers who some
hundred years ago gave their opinions on cases similar to mine; these
opinions which make for me my lawyer is to cite, and those opinions
which look another way are cited by the lawyer employed by my
antagonist; as I observed, I have Salkeld and Ventris for me, he has
Coke and Hale for him, and he that has most opinions is most likely to
carry his cause."--"But where is the necessity," cried I, "of
prolonging a suit by citing the opinions and reports of others, since
the same good sense which determined lawyers in former ages may serve
to guide your judges at this day? They at that time gave their
opinions only from the light of reason; your judges have the same
light at present to direct them, let me even add a greater, as in
former ages there were many prejudices from which the present is
happily free. If arguing from authorities be exploded from every other
branch of learning, why should it be particularly adhered to in this?
I plainly foresee how such a method of investigation must embarrass
every suit, and even perplex the student; ceremonies will be
multiplied, formalities must increase, and more time will thus be
spent in learning the arts of litigation than in the discovery of
right."
"I see," cries my friend, "that you are for a speedy administration of
justice; but all the world will grant that the more time that is taken
up in considering any subject the better it will be understood.
Besides, it is the boast of an Englishman, that his property is
secure, and all the world will grant that a deliberate administration
of justice is the best way to _secure his property_. Why have we so
many lawyers, but _to secure our property_? why so many formalities,
but _to secure our property_? Not less than one hundred thousand
families live in opulence, elegance, and ease, merely by _securing our
property_."
"To embarrass justice," returned I, "by a multiplicity of laws, or to
hazard it by a confidence in our judges, are, I grant, the opposite
rocks on which legislative wisdom has ever split; in one case the
client resembles that emperor, who is said to have been suffocated by
the bed-clothes, which were only designed to keep him warm: in the
other, to that town which let the enemy take possession of its walls,
in order to show the world how little they depended upon aught but
courage for safety:----But, bless me, what numbers do I see here--all
in black--how is it possible that half this multitude find
employment?"--"Nothing so easily conceived," returned my companion,
"they live by watching each other. For instance, the catchpole watches
the man in debt; the attorney watches the catchpole; the counsellor
watches the attorney; the solicitor the counsellor; and all find
sufficient employment." "I conceive you," interrupted I, "they watch
each other; but it is the client that pays them all for watching: it
puts me in mind of a Chinese fable, which is intituled, 'Five animals
at a meal.'
"A grasshopper, filled with dew, was merrily singing under a shade; a
whangam, that eats grasshoppers, had marked it for its prey, and was
just stretching forth to devour it; a serpent, that had for a long
time fed only on whangams, was coiled up to fasten on the whangam; a
yellow bird was just upon the wing to dart upon the serpent; a hawk
had just stooped from above to seize the yellow bird; all were intent
on their prey, and unmindful of their danger: so the whangam eat the
grasshopper, the serpent eat the whangam, the yellow bird the serpent,
and the hawk the yellow bird; when sousing from on high, a vulture
gobbled up the hawk, grasshopper, whangam, and all in a moment."
I had scarcely finished my fable, when the lawyer came to inform my
friend that his cause was put off till another term, that money was
wanted to retain, and that all the world was of opinion that the very
next hearing would bring him off victorious. "If so, then," cries my
friend, "I believe it will be my wisest way to continue the cause for
another term, and, in the mean time, my friend here and I will go and
see Bedlam."
_Goldsmith._