obliging, kind gentleman; and, in short, is studious to shew, on every
occasion, his generous affection to me. And, after dinner, he told me,
he had already written to his draper, in town, to provide him new
liveries; and to his late mother’s mercer, to send him down patterns of
the most fashionable silks, for my choice. I told him, I was unable to
express my gratitude for his favours and generosity: And as he knew
best what befitted his own rank and condition, I would wholly remit
myself to his good pleasure. But, by all his repeated bounties to me,
of so extraordinary a nature, I could not but look forward with awe
upon the condition to which he had exalted me; and now I feared I
should hardly be able to act up to it in such a manner as should
justify the choice he had condescended to make: But that, I hoped, I
should have not only his generous allowance for my imperfections, which
I could only assure him should not be wilful ones, but his kind
instructions; and that as often as he observed any part of my conduct
such as he could not entirely approve, he would let me know it; and I
would think his reproofs of beginning faults the kindest and most
affectionate things in the world because they would keep me from
committing greater; and be a means to continue to me the blessing of
his good opinion.
He answered me in the kindest manner; and assured me, That nothing
should ever lie upon his mind which he would not reveal, and give me an
opportunity either of convincing him, or being convinced myself.
He then asked me, When I should be willing to go to the Bedfordshire
house? I said, whenever he pleased. We will come down hither again
before the winter, said he, if you please, in order to cultivate the
acquaintance you have begun with Lady Jones, and Sir Simon’s family;
and, if it please God to spare us to one another, in the winter I will
give you, as I promised for two or three months, the diversions of
London. And I think, added he, if my dear pleases, we will set out next
week, about Tuesday, for t’other house. I can have no objection, sir,
said I, to any thing you propose; but how will you avoid Miss
Darnford’s solicitation for an evening to dance? Why, said he, we can
make Monday evening do for that purpose, if they won’t excuse us. But,
if you please, said he, I will invite Lady Jones, Mr. Peters and his
family, and Sir Simon and his family, to my little chapel, on Sunday
morning, and to stay dinner with me; and then I will declare my
marriage to them, because my dear life shall not leave this country
with the least reason for a possibility of any body’s doubting that it
is so. O! how good was this! But, indeed, his conduct is all of a
piece, noble, kind, and considerate! What a happy creature am I!—And
then, may be, said he, they will excuse us till we return into this
country again, as to the ball. Is there any thing, added he, that my
beloved Pamela has still to wish? If you have, freely speak.
Hitherto, my dearest sir, replied I, you have not only prevented my
wishes, but my hopes, and even my thoughts. And yet I must own, since
your kind command of speaking my mind seems to shew, that you expect
from me I should say something; that I have only one or two things to
wish more, and then I shall be too happy. Say, said he, what they are.
Sir, proceeded I, I am, indeed, ashamed to ask any thing, lest it
should not be agreeable to you; and lest it should look as if I was
taking advantage of your kind condescensions to me, and knew not when
to be satisfied!
I will only tell you, Pamela, said he, that you are not to imagine,
that these things, which I have done, in hopes of obliging you, are the
sudden impulses of a new passion for you. But, if I can answer for my
own mind, they proceed from a regular and uniform desire of obliging
you: which, I hope, will last as long as your merit lasts; and that, I
make no doubt, will be as long as I live. And I can the rather answer
for this, because I really find so much delight in myself in my present
way of thinking and acting, as infinitely overpays me; and which, for
that reason, I am likely to continue, for both our sakes. My beloved
wife, therefore, said he, for methinks I am grown fond of a name I once
despised, may venture to speak her mind; and I will promise, that, so
far as it is agreeable to me, and I cheerfully can, I will comply; and
you will not insist upon it, if that should not be the case.
To be sure, sir, said I, I ought not, neither will I. And now you
embolden me to become an humble petitioner, and that, as I ought, upon
my knees, for the reinstating such of your servants, as I have been the
unhappy occasion of their disobliging you. He raised me up, and said,
My beloved Pamela has too often been in this suppliant posture to me,
to permit it any more. Rise, my fairest, and let me know whom, in
particular, you would reinstate; and he kindly held me in his arms, and
pressed me to his beloved bosom. Mrs. Jervis, sir, said I, in the first
place; for she is a good woman; and the misfortunes she has had in the
world, must make your displeasure most heavy to her.
Well, said he, who next? Mr. Longman, sir, said I; and I am sure, kind
as they have been to me, yet would I not ask it, if I could not vouch
for their integrity, and if I did not think it was my dear master’s
interest to have such good servants.
Have you any thing further? said he.—Sir, said I, your good old butler,
who has so long been in your family before the day of your happy birth,
I would, if I might, become an advocate for!
Well, said he, I have only to say, That had not Mr. Longman and Mrs.
Jervis, and Jonathan too, joined in a body, in a bold appeal to Lady
Davers, which has given her the insolent handle she has taken to
intermeddle in my affairs, I could easily have forgiven all the rest of
their conduct; though they have given their tongues no little license
about me: But I could have forgiven them, because I desire every body
should admire you; and it is with pride that I observe not only their
opinion and love, but that of every body else that knows you, justify
my own.—But yet, I will forgive even this, because my Pamela desires
it; and I will send a letter myself, to tell Longman what he owes to
your interposition, if the estate he has made in my family does not set
him above the acceptance of it. And, as to Mrs. Jervis, do you, my
dear, write a letter to her, and give her your commands, instantly, on,
the receipt of it, to go and take possession of her former charge; for
now, my dearest girl, she will be more immediately your servant; and I
know you love her so well, that you’ll go thither with the more
pleasure to find her there.—But don’t think, added he, that all this
compliance is to be for nothing. Ah, sir! said I, tell me but what I
can do, poor as I am in power, but rich in will; and I will not
hesitate one moment. Why then, said he, of your own accord, reward me
for my cheerful compliance, with one sweet kiss—I instantly said, Thus,
then, dear sir, will I obey; and, oh! you have the sweetest and most
generous way in the world, to make that a condition, which gives me
double honour, and adds to my obligations. And so I clasped my arms
about his neck, and was not ashamed to kiss him once and twice, and
three times; once for every forgiven person.
Now, my dearest Pamela, said he, what other things have you to ask? Mr.
Williams is already taken care of; and, I hope, will be happy.—Have you
nothing to say for John Arnold?
Why, dear sir, said I, you have seen the poor fellow’s penitence in my
letters.—Yes, my dear, so I have; but that is his penitence for his
having served me against you; and, I think, when he would have betrayed
me afterwards, he deserves nothing to be said or done for him by
either.
But, dear sir, said I, this is a day of jubilee; and the less he
deserves, poor fellow, the more will be your goodness. And let me add
one word; That as he was divided in his inclinations between his duty
to you and good wishes to me, and knew not how to distinguish between
the one and the other, when he finds us so happily united by your great
goodness to me, he will have no more puzzles in his duty; for he has
not failed in any other part of it; but, I hope, will serve you
faithfully for the future.
Well, then, suppose I put Mrs. Jewkes in a good way of business, in
some inn, and give her John for a husband? And then your gipsy story
will be made out, that she will have a husband younger than herself.
You are all goodness, sir, said I. I can freely forgive poor Mrs.
Jewkes, and wish her happy. But permit me, sir, to ask, Would not this
look like a very heavy punishment to poor John? and as if you could not
forgive him, when you are so generous to every body else?
He smiled and said, O my Pamela, this, for a forgiving spirit, is very
severe upon poor Jewkes: But I shall never, by the grace of God, have
any more such trying services, to put him or the rest upon; and if you
can forgive him, I think I may: and so John shall be at your disposal.
And now let me know what my Pamela has further to wish?
O, my dearest sir, said I, not a single wish more has your grateful
Pamela! My heart is overwhelmed with your goodness! Forgive these tears
of joy, added I: You have left me nothing to pray for, but that God
will bless you with life, and health, and honour, and continue to me
the blessing of your esteem; and I shall then be the happiest creature
in the world.
He clasped me in his arms, and said, You cannot, my dear life, be so
happy in me, as I am in you. O how heartily I despise all my former
pursuits, and headstrong appetites! What joys, what true joys, flow
from virtuous love! joys which the narrow soul of the libertine cannot
take in, nor his thoughts conceive! And which I myself, whilst a
libertine, had not the least notion of!
But, said he, I expected my dear spouse, my Pamela, had something to
ask for herself. But since all her own good is absorbed in the delight
her generous heart takes in promoting that of others, it shall be my
study to prevent her wishes, and to make her care for herself
unnecessary, by my anticipating kindness.
In this manner, my dear parents, is your happy daughter blessed in a
husband! O how my exulting heart leaps at the dear, dear word!—And I
have nothing to do, but to be humble, and to look up with gratitude to
the all-gracious dispenser of these blessings.
So, with a thousand thanks, I afterwards retired to my closet, to write
you thus far. And having completed what I purpose for this packet, and
put up the kind obliging present, I have nothing more to say, but that
I hope soon to see you both, and receive your blessings on this happy,
thrice happy occasion. And so, hoping for your prayers, that I may
preserve an humble and upright mind to my gracious God, a dutiful
gratitude to my dear master and husband—that I may long rejoice in the
continuance of these blessings and favours, and that I may preserve, at
the same time, an obliging deportment to every one else, I conclude
myself, Your ever-dutiful and most happy daughter,
PAMELA B——
O think it not my pride, my dear parents, that sets me on glorying in
my change of name! Yours will be always dear to me, and what I shall
never be ashamed of, I’m sure: But yet—for such a husband!—What shall I
say, since words are too faint to express my gratitude and my joy!
I have taken copies of my master’s letter to Mr. Longman, and mine to
Mrs. Jervis, which I will send with the further occurrences, when I go
to the other dear house, or give you when I see you, as I now hope soon
to do.
Saturday morning, the third of my happy nuptials.
I must still write on, till I come to be settled in the duty of the
station to which I am so generously exalted, and to let you participate
with me the transporting pleasures that rise from my new condition, and
the favours that are hourly heaped upon me by the best of husbands.
When I had got my packet for you finished, I then set about writing, as
he had kindly directed me, to Mrs. Jervis; and had no difficulty till I
came to sign my name; and so I brought it down with me, when I was
called to supper, unsigned.
My good master (for I delight, and always shall, to call him by that
name) had been writing to Mr. Longman; and he said, pleasantly, See,
here, my dearest, what I have written to your Somebody. I read as
follows:
‘Mr. LONGMAN,
‘I have the pleasure to acquaint you, that last Thursday I was married
to my beloved Pamela. I have had reason to be disobliged with you, and
Mrs. Jervis and Jonathan, not for your kindness to, and regard for, my
dear spouse, that now is, but for the manner, in which you appealed to
my sister Davers; which has made a very wide breach between her and me.
But as it was one of her first requests, that I would overlook what had
passed, and reinstate you in all your former charges, I think myself
obliged, without the least hesitation, to comply with it. So, if you
please, you may enter again upon an office which you have always
executed with unquestionable integrity, and to the satisfaction of
‘Yours etc.’
‘Friday afternoon.’
‘I shall set out next Tuesday or Wednesday for Bedfordshire; and desire
to find Jonathan, as well as you, in your former offices; in which, I
dare say, you’ll have the more pleasure, as you have such an early
instance of the sentiments of my dear wife, from whose goodness you may
expect every agreeable thing. She writes herself to Mrs. Jervis.’
I thanked him most gratefully for his goodness; and afterwards took the
above copy of it; and shewed him my letter to Mrs. Jervis, as follows:
‘My DEAR MRS. JERVIS,
‘I have joyful tidings to communicate to you. For yesterday I was
happily married to the best of gentlemen, yours and my beloved master.
I have only now to tell you, that I am inexpressibly happy: that my
generous benefactor denies me nothing, and even anticipates my wishes.
You may be sure I could not forget my dear Mrs. Jervis; and I made it
my request, and had it granted, as soon as asked, that you might return
to the kind charge, which you executed with so much advantage to our
master’s interest, and so much pleasure to all under your direction.
All the power that is put into my hands, by the most generous of men,
shall be exerted to make every thing easy and agreeable to you: And as
I shall soon have the honour of attending my beloved to Bedfordshire,
it will be a very considerable addition to my delight, and to my
unspeakable obligations to the best of men, to see my dear Mrs. Jervis,
and to be received by her with that pleasure, which I promise myself
from her affection. For I am, my dear good friend, and always will be,
‘Yours, very affectionately, and gratefully, PAMELA ——.’
He read this letter, and said, ’Tis yours, my dear, and must be good:
But don’t you put your name to it? Sir, said I, your goodness has given
me a right to a very honourable one but as this is the first occasion
of the kind, except that to my dear father and mother, I think I ought
to shew it you unsigned, that I may not seem over-forward to take
advantage of the honour you have done me.
However sweetly humble and requisite, said he, this may appear to my
dear Pamela’s niceness, it befits me to tell you, that I am every
moment more and more pleased with the right you have to my name: and,
my dear life, added he, I have only to wish I may be half as worthy as
you are of the happy knot so lately knit. He then took a pen himself,
and wrote, after Pamela, his most worthy sirname; and I under-wrote
thus: ‘O rejoice with me, my dear Mrs. Jervis, that I am enabled, by
God’s graciousness, and my dear master’s goodness, thus to write
myself!’
These letters, and the packet to you, were sent away by Mr. Thomas
early this morning.
My dearest master is just gone to take a ride out, and intends to call
upon Lady Jones, Mr. Peters, and Sir Simon Darnford, to invite them to
chapel and dinner to-morrow; and says, he chooses to do it himself,
because the time is so short, they will, perhaps, deny a servant.
I forgot to mention, that Mr. Williams was here yesterday, to ask leave
to go to see his new living, and to provide for taking possession of
it; and seemed so pleased with my master’s kindness and fondness for
me, as well as his generous deportment to himself, that he left us in
such a disposition, as shewed he was quite happy. I am very glad of it;
for it would rejoice me to be an humble means of making all mankind so:
And oh! what returns ought I not to make to the divine goodness! and
how ought I to strive to diffuse the blessings I experience, to all in
my knowledge!—For else, what is it for such a worm as I to be exalted!
What is my single happiness, if I suffer it, niggard-like, to extend no
farther than to myself?—But then, indeed, do God Almighty’s creatures
act worthy of the blessings they receive, when they make, or endeavour
to make, the whole creation, so far as is in the circle of their power,
happy!
Great and good God! as thou hast enlarged my opportunities, enlarge
also my will, and make me delight in dispensing to others a portion of
that happiness, which I have myself so plentifully received at the hand
of thy gracious Providence! Then shall I not be useless in my
generation!—Then shall I not stand a single mark of thy goodness to a
poor worthless creature, that in herself is of so small account in the
scale of beings, a mere cipher on the wrong side of a figure; but shall
be placed on the right side; and, though nothing worth in myself, shall
give signification by my place, and multiply the blessings I owe to thy
goodness, which has distinguished me by so fair a lot!
This, as I conceive, is the indispensable duty of a high condition; and
how great must be the condemnation of poor creatures, at the great day
of account, when they shall be asked, What uses they have made of the
opportunities put into their hands? and are able only to say, We have
lived but to ourselves: We have circumscribed all the power thou hast
given us into one narrow, selfish, compass: We have heaped up treasures
for those who came after us, though we knew not whether they would not
make a still worse use of them than we ourselves did! And how can such
poor selfish pleaders expect any other sentence, than the dreadful,
Depart, ye cursed!
But sure, my dear father and mother, such persons can have no notion of
the exalted pleasures that flow from doing good, were there to be no
after-account at all!
There is something so satisfactory and pleasing to reflect on the being
able to administer comfort and relief to those who stand in need of it,
as infinitely, of itself, rewards the beneficent mind. And how often
have I experienced this in my good lady’s time, though but the
second-hand dispenser of her benefits to the poor and sickly, when she
made me her almoner!—How have I been affected with the blessings which
the miserable have heaped upon her for her goodness, and upon me for
being but the humble conveyer of her bounty to them!—And how delighted
have I been, when the moving report I have made of a particular
distress, has augmented my good lady’s first intentions in relief of
it!
This I recall with pleasure, because it is now, by the divine goodness,
become my part to do those good things she was wont to do: And oh! let
me watch myself, that my prosperous state do not make me forget to look
up, with due thankfulness, to the Providence which has entrusted me
with the power, that so I may not incur a terrible woe by the abuse or
neglect of it!
Forgive me these reflections, my dear parents; and let me have your
prayers, that I may not find my present happiness a snare to me; but
that I may consider, that more and more will be expected from me, in
proportion to the power given me; and that I may not so unworthily act,
as if I believed I ought to set up my rest in my mean self, and think
nothing further to be done, with the opportunities put into my hand, by
the divine favour, and the best of men!
Saturday, seven o’clock in the evening.
My master returned home to dinner, in compliment to me, though much
pressed to dine with Lady Jones, as he was, also, by Sir Simon, to dine
with him. But Mr. Peters could not conveniently provide a preacher for
his own church to-morrow morning, at so short a notice; Mr. Williams
being gone, as I said, to his new living; but believed he could for the
afternoon; and so he promised to give us his company to dinner, and to
read afternoon service: and this made my master invite all the rest, as
well as him, to dinner, and not to church; and he made them promise to
come; and told Mr. Peters, he would send his coach for him and his
family.
Miss Darnford told him pleasantly, She would not come, unless he would
promise to let her be at his wedding; by which I find Mr. Peters has
kept the secret, as my master desired.
He was pleased to give me an airing after dinner in the chariot, and
renewed his kind assurances to me, and, if possible, is kinder than
ever. This is sweetly comfortable to me, because it shews me he does
not repent of his condescensions to me; and it encourages me to look up
to him with more satisfaction of mind, and less doubtfulness.
I begged leave to send a guinea to a poor body in the town, that I
heard, by Mrs. Jewkes, lay very ill, and was very destitute. He said,
Send two, my dear, if you please. Said I, Sir, I will never do any
thing of this kind without letting you know what I do. He most
generously answered, I shall then, perhaps, have you do less good than
you would otherwise do, from a doubt of me; though, I hope, your
discretion, and my own temper, which is not avaricious, will make such
doubt causeless.
Now, my dear, continued he, I’ll tell you how we will order this point,
to avoid even the shadow of uneasiness on one side, or doubt on the
other.
As to your father and mother, in the first place, they shall be quite
out of the question; for I have already determined in my mind about
them; and it is thus: They shall go down, if they and you think well of
it, to my little Kentish estate; which I once mentioned to you in such
a manner, as made you reject it with a nobleness of mind, that gave me
pain then, but pleasure since. There is a pretty little farm, and
house, untenanted, upon that estate, and tolerably well stocked, and I
will further stock it for them; for such industrious folks won’t know
how to live without some employment; And it shall be theirs for both
their lives, without paying any rent; and I will allow them 50l. per
annum besides, that they may keep up the stock, and be kind to any
other of their relations, without being beholden to you or me for small
matters; and for greater, where needful, you shall always have it in
your power to accommodate them; for I shall never question your
prudence. And we will, so long as God spares our lives, go down, once a
year, to see them; and they shall come up, as often as they please, it
cannot be too often, to see us: for I mean not this, my dear, to send
them from us.—Before I proceed, does my Pamela like this?
O, sir, said I, the English tongue affords not words, or, at least, I
have them not, to express sufficiently my gratitude! Teach me, dear
sir, continued I, and pressed his dear hand to my lips, teach me some
other language, if there be any, that abounds with more grateful terms;
that I may not thus be choked with meanings, for which I can find no
utterance.
My charmer! says he, your language is all wonderful, as your
sentiments; and you most abound, when you seem most to want!—All that I
wish, is to find my proposals agreeable to you; and if my first are
not, my second shall be, if I can but know what you wish.
Did I say too much, my dearest parents, when I said, He was, if
possible, kinder and kinder?—O the blessed man! how my heart is
overwhelmed with his goodness!
Well, said he, my dearest, let me desire you to mention this to them,
to see if they approve it. But, if it be your choice, and theirs, to
have them nearer to you, or even under the same roof with you, I will
freely consent to it.
O no, sir, said I, (and I fear almost sinned in my grateful flight,) I
am sure they would not choose that; they could not, perhaps, serve God
so well if they were to live with you: For, so constantly seeing the
hand that blesses them, they would, it may be, as must be my care to
avoid, be tempted to look no further in their gratitude, than to the
dear dispenser of such innumerable benefits.
Excellent creature! said he: My beloved wants no language, nor
sentiments neither; and her charming thoughts, so sweetly expressed,
would grace any language; and this is a blessing almost peculiar to my
fairest.—Your so kind acceptance, my Pamela, added he, repays the
benefit with interest, and leaves me under obligation to your goodness.
But now, my dearest, I will tell you what we will do, with regard to
points of your own private charity; for far be it from me, to put under
that name the subject we have been mentioning; because that, and more
than that, is duty to persons so worthy, and so nearly related to my
Pamela, and, as such, to myself.—O how the sweet man outdoes me, in
thoughts, words, power, and every thing!