LETTER WRITING.
There is no branch of a man's education, no portion of his intercourse
with other men, and no quality which will stand him in good stead more
frequently than the capability of writing a good letter upon any and
every subject. In business, in his intercourse with society, in, I may
say, almost every circumstance of his life, he will find his pen called
into requisition. Yet, although so important, so almost indispensable an
accomplishment, it is one which is but little cultivated, and a letter,
perfect in every part, is a great rarity.
In the composition of a good letter there are many points to be
considered, and we take first the simplest and lowest, namely, the
spelling.
Many spell badly from ignorance, but more from carelessness. The latter,
writing rapidly, make, very often, mistakes that would disgrace a
schoolboy. If you are in doubt about a word, do not from a feeling of
false shame let the spelling stand in its doubtful position hoping that,
if wrong, it will pass unnoticed, but get a dictionary, and see what is
the correct orthography. Besides the actual misplacing of letters in a
word there is another fault of careless, rapid writing, frequently
seen. This is to write two words in one, running them together. I have
more than once seen _with him_ written _withim_, and _for her_ stand
thus, _forer_. Strange, too, as it may seem, it is more frequently the
short, common words that are misspelled than long ones. They flow from
the pen mechanically, while over an unaccustomed word the writer
unconsciously stops to consider the orthography. Chesterfield, in his
advice to his son, says:
"I come now to another part of your letter, which is the orthography, if
I may call bad spelling _orthography_. You spell induce, _enduce_; and
grandeur, you spell _grandure_; two faults of which few of my housemaids
would have been guilty. I must tell you that orthography, in the true
sense of the word, is so absolutely necessary for a man of letters, or a
gentleman, that one false spelling may fix ridicule upon him for the
rest of his life; and I know a man of quality, who never recovered the
ridicule of having spelled _wholesome_ without the _w_.
"Reading with care will secure everybody from false spelling; for books
are always well spelled, according to the orthography of the times. Some
words are indeed doubtful, being spelled differently by different
authors of equal authority; but those are few; and in those cases every
man has his option, because he may plead his authority either way; but
where there is but one right way, as in the two words above mentioned,
it is unpardonable and ridiculous for a gentleman to miss it; even a
woman of tolerable education would despise and laugh at a lover, who
sent her an ill-spelled _billet-doux_. I fear, and suspect, that you
have taken it into your head, in most cases, that the matter is all, and
the manner little or nothing. If you have, undeceive yourself, and be
convinced that, in everything, the manner is full as important as the
matter. If you speak the sense of an angel in bad words, and with a
disagreeable utterance, nobody will hear you twice, who can help it. If
you write epistles as well as Cicero, but in a very bad hand, and very
ill-spelled, whoever receives, will laugh at them."
After orthography, you should make it a point to write a good hand;
clear, legible, and at the same time easy, graceful, and rapid. This is
not so difficult as some persons imagine, but, like other
accomplishments, it requires practice to make it perfect. You must write
every word so clearly that it _cannot_ be mistaken by the reader, and it
is quite an important requisite to leave sufficient space between the
words to render each one separate and distinct. If your writing is
crowded, it will be difficult to read, even though each letter is
perfectly well formed. An English author, in a letter of advice, says:--
"I have often told you that every man who has the use of his eyes and
his hand can write whatever hand he pleases. I do not desire that you
should write the stiff, labored characters of a writing master; a man of
business must write quick and well, and that depends simply upon use. I
would, therefore, advise you to get some very good writing master, and
apply to it for a month only, which will be sufficient; for, upon my
word, the writing of a genteel, plain hand of business is of much more
importance than you think. You say, it may be, that when you write so
very ill, it is because you are in a hurry; to which, I answer, Why are
you ever in a hurry? A man of sense may be in haste, but can never be in
a hurry, because he knows, that whatever he does in a hurry, he must
necessarily do very ill. He may be in haste to dispatch an affair, but
he will take care not to let that haste hinder his doing it well. Little
minds are in a hurry, when the object proves (as it commonly does) too
big for them; they run, they puzzle, confound, and perplex themselves;
they want to do everything at once, and never do it at all. But a man of
sense takes the time necessary for doing the thing he is about, well;
and his haste to dispatch a business, only appears by the continuity of
his application to it; he pursues it with a cool steadiness, and
finishes it before he begins any other....
"The few seconds that are saved in the course of the day by writing ill
instead of well, do not amount to an object of time by any means
equivalent to the disgrace or ridicule of a badly written scrawl."
By making a good, clear hand habitual to you, the caution given above,
with regard to hurry, will be entirely useless, for you will find that
even the most rapid penmanship will not interfere with the beauty of
your hand-writing, and the most absorbing interest in the subject of
your epistle can be indulged; whereas, if you write well only when you
are giving your entire attention to guiding your pen, then, haste in
writing or interest in your subject will spoil the beauty of your sheet.
Be very careful that the wording of your letters is in strict accordance
with the rules of grammar. Nothing stamps the difference between a well
educated man and an ignorant one more decidedly than the purely
grammatical language of the one compared with the labored sentences,
misplaced verbs, nouns, adjectives, and adverbs of the other.
Chesterfield caricatures this fault in the following letter, written as
a warning to his son, to guard him against its glaring faults:
"MY LORD: I _had_, last night, the honor of your Lordship's letter of
the 24th; and will _set about doing_ the orders contained _therein_; and
_if so be_ that I can get that affair done by the next post, I will not
fail _for to_ give your Lordship an account of it, by _next post_. I
have told the French Minister, _as how that if_ that affair be not soon
concluded, your Lordship would think it _all long of him_; and that he
must have neglected _for to_ have wrote to his court about it. I must
beg leave to put your Lordship in mind, _as how_, that I am now full
three quarters in arrear; and if _so be_ that I do not very soon receive
at least one half year, I shall _cut a very bad figure_; _for this here_
place is very dear. I shall be _vastly beholden_ to your Lordship for
_that there_ mark of your favor; and so I _rest_ or _remain_, Your, &c."
This is, I admit, a broad burlesque of a letter written by a man holding
any important government office, but in the more private correspondence
of a man's life letters quite as absurd and ungrammatical are written
every day.
Punctuation is another very important point in a letter, because it not
only is a mark of elegance and education to properly punctuate a letter,
but the omission of this point will inevitably confuse your
correspondent, for if you write to your friend:
"I met last evening Mr James the artist his son a lawyer Mr Gay a friend
of my mother's Mr Clarke and Mr Paul:"
he will not know whether Mr. Gay is a lawyer or your mother's friend, or
whether it is Mr. James or his son who is an artist; whereas, by the
proper placing of a few punctuation marks you make the sentence clear
and intelligible, thus:
"I met, last evening, Mr. James, the artist; his son, a lawyer; Mr. Gay,
a friend of my mother's; Mr. Clarke and Mr. Paul."
Without proper regard being paid to punctuation, the very essence of
good composition is lost; it is of the utmost importance, as clearness,
strength, and accuracy depend upon it, in as great a measure as the
power of an army depends upon the skill displayed in marshalling and
arranging the troops. The separation of one portion of a composition
from another; the proper classification and division of the subjects;
the precise meaning of every word and sentence; the relation each part
bears to previous or following parts; the connection of one portion and
separation of others--all depend upon punctuation. Many persons seem to
consider it sufficient to put in a period at the end of a long sentence,
leaving all the little niceties which a comma, semicolon, or colon would
render clear, in a state of the most lamentable obscurity. Others use
all the points, but misplace them in a most ludicrous manner. A sentence
may be made by the omission or addition of a comma to express a meaning
exactly opposite to the one it expressed before the little mark was
written or erased. The best mode of studying punctuation is to read
over what you write, aloud, and put in the points as you would dwell a
longer or shorter time on the words, were you speaking.
We now come to the use of capital letters, a subject next, in importance
to punctuation, and one too often neglected, even by writers otherwise
careful.
The first word of every piece of writing, whether it be a book, a poem,
a story, a letter, a bill, a note, or only a line of directions, must
begin with a capital letter.
Quotations, even though they are not immediately preceded by a period,
must invariably begin with a capital letter.
Every new sentence, following a period, exclamation mark, or
interrogation point, must begin with a capital letter.
Every proper name, whether it be of a person, a place, or an object,
must begin with a capital letter. The pronoun I and exclamation O must
be always written in capital letters.
Capitals must never, except in the case of proper names or the two
letters mentioned in the last paragraph, be written in the middle of a
sentence.
A capital letter must never be used in the middle of a word, among the
small letters; nor must it be used at the end of a word.
Nothing adds more to the beauty of a letter, or any written composition,
than handsomely written capital letters, used in their proper places.
Having specified the most important points in a correct letter, we next
come to that which, more than anything else, shows the mind of the
writer; that which proves his good or bad education; that which gives
him rank as an elegant or inelegant writer--Style.
It is style which adorns or disfigures a subject; which makes the
humblest matter appear choice and elegant, or which reduces the most
exalted ideas to a level with common, or vulgar ones.
Lord Chesterfield says, "It is of the greatest importance to write
letters well; as this is a talent which unavoidably occurs every day of
one's life, as well in business as in pleasure; and inaccuracies in
orthography or in style are never pardoned. Much depends upon the manner
in which they are written; which ought to be easy and natural, not
strained and florid. For instance, when you are about to send a
_billet-doux_, or love letter to a fair friend, you must only think of
what you would say to her if you were both together, and then write it;
that renders the style easy and natural; though some people imagine the
wording of a letter to be a great undertaking, and think they must write
abundantly better than they talk, which is not at all necessary. Style
is the dress of thoughts, and let them be ever so just, if your style is
homely, coarse, and vulgar, they will appear to as much disadvantage and
be as ill received as your person, though ever so well proportioned,
would, if dressed in rags, dirt, and tatters. It is not every
understanding that can judge of matter; but every one can and does
judge, more or less, of style; and were I either to speak or write to
the public, I should prefer moderate matter, adorned with all the
beauties and elegancies of style, to the strongest matter in the world,
ill worded and ill delivered."
Write legibly, correctly, and without erasures upon a whole sheet of
paper, never upon half a sheet. Choose paper which is thick, white, and
perfectly plain. The initials stamped at the top of a sheet are the only
ornament allowed a gentleman.
It is an unpardonable fault to write upon a sheet which has anything
written or drawn upon it, or is soiled; and quite as bad to answer a
note upon half the sheet it is written upon, or write on the other side
of a sheet which has been used before.
Write your own ideas in your own words, neither borrowing or copying
from another. If you are detected in a plagiarism, you will never
recover your reputation for originality, and you may find yourself in
the position of the hero of the following anecdote:
Mr. O., a man of but little cultivation, fell in love with Miss N.,
whose fine intellect was duly improved by a thorough course of study and
reading, while her wit, vivacity, and beauty made Mr. O. one only
amongst many suitors. Fascinated by her beauty and gracious manner he
determined to settle his fate, and ask her to go forward in the alphabet
and choose the next letter to put to her surname. But how? Five times he
tried to speak, and five times the gay beauty so led the discourse that
he left at the end of each interview, no wiser than when he came. At
length he resolved to write. It was the first time he had held the pen
for any but a business letter. After commencing twice with "Dear sir,"
once with, "I write to inform you that I am well and hope this letter
will find you the same," and once with, "Your last duly received," he
threw the pen aside in disgust and despair. A love letter was beyond his
feeble capacities. Suddenly a brilliant idea struck him. He had lately
seen, in turning the leaves of a popular novel, a letter, perhaps a love
letter. He procured the book, found the letter. It was full of fire and
passion, words of love, protestations of never failing constancy, and
contained an offer of marriage. With a hand that trembled with ecstasy,
O. copied and signed the letter, sealed, directed, and sent it. The next
day came the answer--simply:
"My Friend,
"Turn to the next page and you will find the reply.
"A. N."
He did so, and found a polite refusal of his suit.
The secret of letter writing consists in writing as you would speak.
Thus, if you speak well, you will write well; if you speak ill, you will
also write ill.
Endeavor always to write as correctly and properly as possible. If you
have reason to doubt your own spelling, carefully read and correct every
letter before you fold it. An ill-formed letter is, however, better let
alone. You will not improve it by trying to reform it, and the effort
will be plainly visible.
Let your style be simple, concise, and clear, entirely void of
pretension, without any phrases written merely for effect, without
useless flowery language, respectful towards superiors, women, and
older persons, and it will be well.
Abbreviations are only permitted in business letters, and in friendly
correspondence must never be used.
Figures are never to be used excepting when putting a date or a sum of
money. In a business letter the money is generally specified both in
figures and words, thus; $500 Five hundred dollars.
You may put the name, date, and address of a letter either at the top of
the page or at the end. I give a specimen of each style to show my
meaning.
PHILADELPHIA, _June 25th, 1855_.
MR. JAMES SMITH,
Dear Sir,
The goods ordered in your letter of the 19th inst. were sent
this morning by Adam's Express. We shall be always happy to
hear from you, and will promptly fill any further orders.
Yours, truly,
JONES, BROWN, & CO.
or,
Dear Sir,
Your favor of the 5th inst. received to day. Will execute your
commissions with pleasure.
Yours, truly,
J. Jones.
MR. JAMES SMITH.
PHILA., _June 25th, 1854_.
If you send your own address put it under your own signature, thus:
J. JONES,
17 W---- st.,
NEW YORK.
The etiquette of letter-writing, should, as much as possible, be
influenced by principles of truth. The superscription and the
subscription should alike be in accordance with the tone of the
communication, and the domestic or social relation of those between whom
it passes. Communications upon professional or business matters, where
no acquaintance exists to modify the circumstances, should be written
thus:--"Mr. Gillot will feel obliged by Mr. Slack's sending by the
bearer," &c. It is an absurdity for a man who writes a challenge, or an
offensive letter, to another, to subscribe himself, "Your obedient
Servant." I dislike this form of subscription, also, when employed by
persons of equal rank. It is perfectly becoming when addressed by a
servant to an employer. But in other cases, "Yours truly," "Yours very
truly," "Your Friend," "Your sincere Friend," "Your Well-wisher," "Your
grateful Friend," "Your affectionate Friend," &c., &c., appears to be
much more truthful, and to be more in keeping with the legitimate
expression of good feeling. It is impossible to lay down a set of rules
that shall govern all cases. But as a principle, it may be urged, that
no person should address another as, "Dear Sir," or, "Dear Madam,"
without feelings and relations that justify the use of the adjective.
These compliments are mockeries. No one who entertains a desire to
write another as "dear," need feel afraid of giving offence by
familiarity; for all mankind prize the esteem even of their humblest
fellows too much to be annoyed by it. And in proportion as the integrity
of the forms of correspondence increase, so will these expressions of
good feeling be more appreciated.
The next point to be considered is the _subject_ of your letter, and
without a good subject the epistle will be apt to be dull. I do not mean
by this that it is necessary to have any extraordinary event to relate,
or startling news to communicate; but in order to write a _good_ letter,
it is necessary to have a _good_ subject, that you may not rival the
Frenchman who wrote to his wife--"I write to you because I have nothing
to do: I stop because I have nothing to say." Letters written without
aim or object, simply for the sake of writing, are apt to be stupid,
trivial, or foolish.
You may write to a friend to congratulate him upon some happy event to
himself, or to condole with him in some misfortune, or to ask his
congratulations or condolence for yourself. You may write to enquire for
his health, or to extend an invitation, a letter of thanks,
felicitations, upon business, or a thousand other subjects, which it is
useless for me to enumerate.
LETTERS OF BUSINESS. The chief object in a letter of business is to
communicate or enquire about some one fact, and the epistle should be
confined entirely to that fact. All compliments, jests, high-flown
language and sentiment, are entirely out of place in a business letter,
and brevity should be one of the most important aims. Do not let your
desire to be brief, however, make your meaning obscure; better to add a
few words, or even lines, to the length of your letter, than to send it
in confused, unintelligible language. Chesterfield's advice on business
letters is excellent. He says:
"The first thing necessary in writing letters of business is, extreme
clearness and perspicuity; every paragraph should be so clear and
unambiguous that the dullest fellow in the world may not be able to
mistake it, nor obliged to read it twice in order to understand it. This
necessary clearness implies a correctness, without excluding an elegance
of style. Tropes, figures, antithesis, epigrams, &c., would be as
misplaced and as impertinent in letters of business as they are
sometimes (if judiciously used) proper and pleasing in familiar letters,
upon common and trite subjects. In business, an elegant simplicity, the
result of care, not of labor, is required. Business must be well, not
affectedly dressed; but by no means negligently. Let your first
attention be to clearness, and read every paragraph after you have
written it, in the critical view of discovering whether it is possible
that any one man can mistake the true sense of it; and correct it
accordingly.
"Our pronouns and relatives often create obscurity and ambiguity; be,
therefore, exceedingly attentive to them, and take care to mark out with
precision their particular relations. For example, Mr. Johnson
acquainted me, that he had seen Mr. Smith, who had promised him to speak
to Mr. Clarke, to return him (Mr. Johnson) those papers, which he (Mr.
Smith) had left some time ago with him (Mr. Clarke); it is better to
repeat a name, though unnecessarily, ten times, than to have the person
mistaken once.
"_Who_, you know, is singly relative to persons, and cannot be applied
to things; _which_ and _that_ are chiefly relative to things, but not
absolutely exclusive of persons; for one may say the man, _that_ robbed
or killed such-a-one; but it is better to say, the man _who_ robbed or
killed. One never says, the man or woman _which_. _Which_ and _that_,
though chiefly relative to things, cannot be always used indifferently
as to things. For instance, the letter _which_ I received from you,
_which_ you referred to in your last, _which_ came by Lord Albemarle's
messenger, _which_ I showed to such-a-one; I would change it thus--The
letter that I received from you, _which_ you referred to in your last,
_that_ came by Lord Albemarle's messenger, and _which_ I showed to
such-a-one.
"Business does not exclude (as possibly you wish it did) the usual terms
of politeness and good breeding; but, on the contrary, strictly requires
them; such as, _I have the honor to acquaint you_; _Permit me to assure
you_; or, _If I may be allowed to give my opinion, &c._
"LETTERS OF BUSINESS will not only admit of, but be the better for
_certain graces_--but then, they must be scattered with a skillful and
sparing hand; they must fit their place exactly. They must adorn without
encumbering, and modestly shine without glaring. But as this is the
utmost degree of perfection in letters of business, I would not advise
you to attempt those embellishments, till you have just laid your
foundation well.
"Carefully avoid all Greek or Latin quotations; and bring no precedents
from the _virtuous Spartans_, _the polite Athenians_, _and the brave
Romans_. Leave all that to futile pedants. No flourishes, no
declamations. But (I repeat it again) there is an elegant simplicity and
dignity of style absolutely necessary for _good_ letters of business;
attend to that carefully. Let your periods be harmonious, without
seeming to be labored; and let them not be too long, for that always
occasions a degree of obscurity. I should not mention correct
orthography, but that to fail in that particular will bring ridicule
upon you; for no man is allowed to spell ill. The hand-writing, too,
should be good; and I cannot conceive why it is ever otherwise, since
every man may, certainly, write whatever hand he pleases. Neatness in
folding up, sealing, and directing your packets is, by no means, to be
neglected. There is something in the exterior, even of a packet or
letter, that may please or displease; and, consequently, worth some
attention."
If you are writing a letter, either upon your own business or upon that
of the person you are addressing, not in answer to him, but opening the
subject between you, follow the rule of clearness and of business
brevity. Come to the point at once, in order that the person addressed
may easily comprehend you. Put nobody to the labor of _guessing_ what
you desire, and be careful that half-instructions do not lead your
correspondent astray. If you have so clear an idea of your operation in
your mind, or if it is so simple a one that it needs no words, except
specific directions, or a plain request, you need not waste time, but,
with the proper forms of courtesy, instruct him of your wishes. In
whatever you write, remember that time is valuable; and that
embarrassing or indefinite letters are a great nuisance to a business
man. I need hardly remark, that punctuality in answering correspondents
is one of the cardinal business virtues. Where it is possible, answer
letters by return of post, as you will thus save your own time, and pay
your correspondent a flattering compliment. And in opening a
correspondence or writing upon your own business, let your communication
be made at the earliest proper date in order that your correspondent, as
well as yourself, may have the benefit of thought and deliberation.
LETTERS OF INQUIRY should be written in a happy medium, between tedious
length and the brevity which would betoken indifference. As the subject
is generally limited to questions upon one subject, they will not admit
of much verbiage, and if your inquiry relates simply to a matter of
business, it is better to confine your words strictly to that business;
if, however, you are writing to make inquiry as to the health of a
friend, or any other matter in which feeling or affection dictates the
epistle, the cold, formal style of a business letter would become
heartless, and, in many cases, positively insulting. You must here add
some words of compliment, express your friendly interest in the subject,
and your hope that a favorable answer may be returned, and if the
occasion is a painful one, a few lines of regret or condolence may be
added.
If you are requesting a favor of your correspondent, you should
apologize for the trouble you are giving him, and mention the necessity
which prompts you to write.
If you are making inquiries of a friend, your letter will then admit of
some words of compliment, and may be written in an easy, familiar style.
If writing to a stranger, your request for information becomes a
personal favor, and you should write in a manner to show him that you
feel this. Speak of the obligation he will confer, mention the necessity
which compels you to trouble him, and follow his answer by a note of
thanks.
Always, when sending a letter of inquiry, enclose a stamp for the
answer. If you trouble your correspondent to take his time to write you
information, valuable only to yourself, you have no right to tax him
also for the price of postage.
ANSWERS TO LETTERS OF INQUIRY should be written as soon as possible
after such letters are received. If the inquiry is of a personal nature,
concerning your health, family affairs, or the denial or corroboration
of some report concerning yourself, you should thank your correspondent
for the interest he expresses, and such a letter should be answered
immediately. If the letter you receive contains questions which you
cannot answer instantly, as, for instance, if you are obliged to see a
third party, or yourself make inquiry upon the subject proposed, it is
best to write a few lines acknowledging the receipt of your friend's
letter, expressing your pleasure at being able to serve him, and stating
why you cannot immediately give him the desired information, with the
promise to write again as soon as such information is yours to send.
LETTERS REQUESTING FAVORS are trying to write, and must be dictated by
the circumstances which make them necessary. Be careful not to be
servile in such letters. Take a respectful, but, at the same time, manly
tone; and, while you acknowledge the obligation a favorable answer will
confer, do not adopt the cringing language of a beggar.
LETTERS CONFERRING FAVORS should never be written in a style to make the
recipient feel a weight of obligation; on the contrary, the style should
be such as will endeavor to convince your correspondent that in his
acceptance of your favor _he_ confers an obligation upon _you_.
LETTERS REFUSING FAVORS call for your most courteous language, for they
must give some pain, and this may be very much softened by the manner in
which you write. Express your regret at being unable to grant your
friend's request, a hope that at some future time it may be in your
power to answer another such letter more favorably, and give a good
reason for your refusal.
LETTERS ACKNOWLEDGING FAVORS, or letters of thanks, should be written in
a cordial, frank, and grateful style. While you earnestly thank your
correspondent for his kindness, you must never hint at any payment of
the obligation. If you have the means of obliging him near you at that
instant, make your offer of the favor the subject of another letter,
lest he attribute your haste to a desire to rid yourself of an
obligation. To hint at a future payment is still more indelicate. When
you can show your gratitude by a suitable return, then let your actions,
not your words, speak for the accuracy of your memory in retaining the
recollection of favors conferred.
ANONYMOUS LETTERS. The man who would write an anonymous letter, either
to insult the person addressed, or annoy a third person, is a scoundrel,
"whom 'twere gross flattery to name a coward." None but a man of the
lowest principles, and meanest character, would commit an act to gratify
malice or hatred without danger to himself. A gentleman will treat such
a communication with the contemptuous silence which it deserves.
LETTERS OF INTELLIGENCE. The first thing to be regarded in a letter of
intelligence is _truth_. They are written on every variety of subjects,
under circumstances of the saddest and the most joyful nature. They are
written often under the pressure of the most crushing grief, at other
times when the hand trembles with ecstacy, and very frequently when a
weight of other cares and engagements makes the time of the writer
invaluable. Yet, whether the subject communicated concerns yourself or
another, remember that every written word is a record for your veracity
or falsehood. If exaggeration, or, still worse, malice, guide your pen,
in imparting painful subjects, or if the desire to avoid causing grief
makes you violate truth to soften trying news, you are signing your name
to a written falsehood, and the letter may, at some future time, rise to
confront you and prove that your intelligence cannot be trusted.
Whatever the character of the news you communicate, let taste and
discretion guide you in the manner of imparting it. If it is of so
sorrowful a character that you know it must cause pain, you may endeavor
to open the subject gradually, and a few lines of sympathy and comfort,
if unheeded at the time, may be appreciated when the mourner re-reads
your letter in calmer moments. Joyful news, though it does not need the
same caution, also admits of expressions of sympathy.
Never write the gossip around you, unless you are _obliged_ to
communicate some event, and then write only what you know to be true,
or, if you speak of doubtful matters, state them to be such. Avoid mere
scandal and hearsay, and, above all, avoid letting your own malice or
bitterness of feeling color all your statements in their blackest dye.
Be, under such circumstances, truthful, just, and charitable.
LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION should be written only when they are
positively necessary, and great caution should be used in giving them.
They make you, in a measure, responsible for the conduct of another, and
if you give them frequently, on slight grounds, you will certainly have
cause to repent your carelessness. They are letters of business, and
should be carefully composed; truthful, while they are courteous, and
just, while they are kind. If you sacrifice candor to a mistaken
kindness, you not only make yourself a party to any mischief that may
result, but you are committing a dishonest act towards the person to
whom the letter will be delivered.
LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION should be short, as they are generally delivered
in person, and ought not to occupy much time in reading, as no one likes
to have to wait while a long letter of introduction is read. While you
speak of the bearer in the warm language of friendship, do not write
praises in such a letter; they are about as much in place as they would
be if you spoke them at a personal introduction. Leave letters of
introduction unsealed, for it is a gross breach of politeness to
prevent the bearer from reading what you have written, by fastening the
envelope. The most common form is:--
Dear Sir,
It gives me much pleasure to introduce to you, the bearer of
this letter, as my friend Mr. J----, who is to remain a few
days in your city on his way to New Orleans. I trust that the
acquaintance of two friends, for whom I have so long
entertained so warm an esteem, will prove as pleasant as my
intercourse with each has always been. Any attention which it
may be in your power to pay to Mr. J----, whilst he is in your
city, will be highly appreciated and gratefully acknowledged by
Your sincere friend
JAMES C. RAY.
MR. L. G. EDMONDS.
_June 23d, 18--._
If your letter is to introduce any gentleman in his business or
professional capacity, mention what that business is; and if your own
acquaintance with the bearer is slight, you may also use the name of the
persons from whom he brought letters to yourself. Here, you may, with
perfect propriety, say a few words in praise of the bearer's skill in
his professional labors. If he is an artist, you need not hesitate to
give a favorable opinion of whatever of his pictures you have seen, or,
if a musician, express the delight his skill has afforded you.
A LETTER REQUESTING AN AUTOGRAPH should always enclose a postage stamp
for the reply. In such a letter some words of compliment, expressive of
the value of the name for which you ask, is in good taste. You may refer
to the deeds or celebrity which have made the name so desirable, and
also express your sense of the greatness of the favor, and the
obligation the granting of it will confer.
AUTOGRAPH LETTERS should be short; containing merely a few lines,
thanking the person addressed for the compliment paid in requesting the
signature, and expressive of the pleasure it gives you to comply with
the request. If you wish to refuse (though none but a churl would do
so), do not fall into the error of an eccentric American whose high
position in the army tempted a collector of autographs to request his
signature. The general wrote in reply:--
"Sir,
"I'll be hanged if I send my autograph to anybody.
"Yours,
"----."
and signed his name in full in the strong, bold letters which always
characterized his hand writing.
INVITATIONS TO LADIES should be written in the third person, unless you
are very intimate with them, or can claim relationship. All letters
addressed to a lady should be written in a respectful style, and when
they are short and to a comparative stranger, the third person is the
most elegant one to use. Remember, in directing letters to young ladies,
the eldest one in a family is addressed by the surname alone, while the
others have also the proper name; thus, if you wrote to the daughters
of Mr. Smith, the eldest one is Miss Smith, the others, Miss Annie Smith
and Miss Jane Smith.
Invitations should be sent by your own servant, or clerk. Nothing is
more vulgar than sending invitations through the despatch, and you run
the risk of their being delayed. The first time that you invite a lady
to accompany you to ride, walk, or visit any place of public amusement,
you should also invite her mother, sister, or any other lady in the same
family, unless you have a mother or sister with whom the lady invited is
acquainted, when you should say in your note that your mother or sister
will accompany you.
LETTERS OF COMPLIMENT being confined to one subject should be short and
simple. If they are of thanks for inquiry made, they should merely echo
the letter they answer, with the acknowledgement of your correspondent's
courtesy.
LETTERS OF CONGRATULATION. Letters of congratulation are the most
agreeable of all letters to write; your subject is before you, and you
have the pleasure of sympathizing in the happiness of a friend. They
should be written in a frank, genial style, with warm expressions of
pleasure at your friend's joy, and admit of any happy quotations or
jest.
When congratulating your friend on an occasion of happiness to himself,
be very careful that your letter has no word of envy at his good
fortune, no fears for its short duration, no prophecy of a change for
the worse; let all be bright, cheerful, and hopeful. There are few men
whose life calls for letters of congratulation upon many occasions, let
them have bright, unclouded ones when they can claim them. If you have
other friends whose sorrow makes a contrast with the joy of the person
to whom you are writing, nay, even if you yourself are in affliction, do
not mention it in such a letter.
At the same time avoid the satire of exaggeration in your expressions of
congratulation, and be very careful how you underline a word. If you
write a hope that your friend may be _perfectly happy_, he will not
think that the emphasis proves the strength of your wish, but that you
are fearful that it will not be fulfilled.
If at the same time that you are writing a letter of congratulation, you
have sorrowful news to communicate, do not put your tidings of grief
into your congratulatory letter; let that contain only cheerful,
pleasant words; even if your painful news must be sent the same day,
send it in a separate epistle.
LETTERS OF CONDOLENCE are trying both to the writer and to the reader.
If your sympathy is sincere, and you feel the grief of your friend as if
it were your own, you will find it difficult to express in written words
the sorrow that you are anxious to comfort.
Even the warmest, most sincere expressions, sound cold and commonplace
to the mourner, and one grasp of the hand, one glance of the eye, will
do more to express sympathy than whole sheets of written words. It is
best not to try to say _all_ that you feel. You will fail in the attempt
and may weary your friend. Let your letter, then, be short, (not
heartlessly so) but let its words, though few, be warm and sincere. Any
light, cheerful jesting will be insulting in a letter of condolence. If
you wish to comfort by bringing forward blessings or hopes for the
future, do not do it with gay, or jesting expressions, but in a gentle,
kind manner, drawing your words of comfort, not from trivial, passing
events, but from the highest and purest sources.
If the subject for condolence be loss of fortune or any similar event,
your letter will admit of the cheering words of every-day life, and
kindly hopes that the wheel of fortune may take a more favorable turn;
but, if death causes your friend's affliction, there is but little to be
said in the first hours of grief. Your letter of sympathy and comfort
may be read after the first crushing grief is over, and appreciated
then, but words of comfort are but little heeded when the first agony of
a life-long separation is felt in all the force of its first hours.
LETTERS SENT WITH PRESENTS should be short, mere cards of compliment,
and written in the third person.
LETTERS ACKNOWLEDGING PRESENTS should also be quite short, written in
the third person, and merely containing a few lines of thanks, with a
word or two of admiration for the beauty, value, or usefulness of the
gift.
LETTERS OF ADVICE are generally very unpalatable for the reader, and had
better not be written unless solicited, and not then unless your counsel
will really benefit your correspondent. When written, let them be
courteous, but, at the same time, perfectly frank. If you can avert an
evil by writing a letter of advice, even when unsolicited, it is a
friendly office to write, but it is usually a thankless one.
To write after an act has been performed, and state what your advice
would have been, had your opinion been asked, is extremely foolish, and
if you disapprove of the course that has been taken, your best plan is,
certainly, to say nothing about it.
In writing your letter of advice, give your judgement as an opinion, not
a law, and say candidly that you will not feel hurt if contrary advice
offered by any other, more competent to judge in the case, is taken.
While your candor may force you to give the most unpalatable counsel,
let your courtesy so express it, that it cannot give offence.
LETTERS OF EXCUSE are sometimes necessary, and they should be written
promptly, as a late apology for an offence is worse than no apology at
all. They should be written in a frank, manly style, containing an
explanation of the offence, and the facts which led to it, the assurance
of the absence of malice or desire to offend, sorrow for the
circumstances, and a hope that your apology will be accepted. Never wait
until circumstances force an apology from you before writing a letter of
excuse. A frank, prompt acknowledgement of an offence, and a candidly
expressed desire to atone for it, or for indulgence towards it, cannot
fail to conciliate any reasonable person.
CARDS OF COMPLIMENT must always be written in the third person.
ANSWERS. The first requisite in answering a letter upon any subject, is
promptness. If you can answer by return of mail, do so; if not, write as
soon as possible. If you receive a letter making inquiries about facts
which you will require time to ascertain, then write a few lines
acknowledging the receipt of the letter of inquiry and promising to send
the information as soon as possible.