estimates published from time to time by savings banks, life-insurance
companies, and other financial organizations. You who are just planning
to be married, however, will find that these statements are compiled
usually for families with two or three children. At best they will only
roughly approximate your special problems.
Let us consider the situation faced by a young couple just starting out
in married life. Generally speaking, if you live in a big city and your
income is about $100 a month, you will pay about $35 to the landlord.
Rents, unfortunately, are disproportionately high in the largest urban
centers, for persons of limited means. In smaller communities, you
undoubtedly will find quarters for somewhat less.
Your food, at the present price level, will cost at least $25 a month
for an adequate diet--and this assumes extremely intelligent and careful
buying.
Transportation to and from work for one person will cost not less than
$2.50 a month. Total transportation costs for both of you--if only one
works--will be between $3 and $4. Not more than $10 a month should be
spent for clothes, and at least $6 must be set aside for insurance and
savings. This leaves roughly $20 a month for all other expenses. It is
not easy for two to live on $100 a month--but it is being done.
While it is not true that two can live as cheaply as one, two persons
who are in love may live more happily if they marry and both continue to
work than if they undergo the strain of a long engagement. This problem,
however, must be worked out with reference to the particular case, for,
as pointed out in an earlier article in this series, it is more
difficult for a man to get a foothold in certain professions if he
marries before his apprenticeship is complete. It seems obvious that if
you are wed before the man finishes his professional preparation, you
will not wish to have children for the time being and that the wife will
continue to support herself. I have seen many complications caused by
the arrival of children before the husband had completed his
professional training.
One young couple I knew were getting along very smoothly while the wife
was working and her husband was spending his last year in medical
school. The arrival of a baby made it necessary for her to quit her job.
This, in turn, made it imperative for the man to earn a livelihood. He
took a position in a department store where today--ten years later--he
is still a junior employee. By now, in the ordinary course of events,
he might have been established in the profession for which he was
studying.
All young couples, fortunately, do not encounter such tragedies. If your
income is around $2000 a year, your financial position is relatively
more secure. You may find a suitable apartment in a large city for
between $50 and $60 a month--including heat and hot water. The rent in a
smaller community will be less, but remember that if you furnish your
own heat and hot water, you must add the cost of fuel. If, to save
money, you move beyond the public transportation system, you must
include the cost and upkeep of a car. But even considering the added
expense of an automobile (provided you take care of it partly yourself
and thus save some service charges) you may have better living
conditions and derive more enjoyment from life than if you lived closer
to town.
Your food budget now may be about $40 a month--enough for a liberal
diet. Your clothing allowance should be sufficient for average
needs--say, $15. Insurance and savings should be greater than those of
the couple in the $1200 group. At least 14 percent of your income now
should be set aside for these purposes.
If you plan to have children on an income of between $2000 and $3000 a
year, you still will be able to live comfortably, but you probably will
be happier if you move into a community made up of young people of your
own income group. This will enable the mothers to make various sorts of
cooperative arrangements for child care, which serve the threefold
purpose of giving the children desirable social experience, providing
the mother with more freedom, and keeping costs down. It also
contributes toward a congenial social life for the adults.
The proportions to be spent for the larger items hold true in general
for the family whose income is between $2000 and $3000 a year. Without
knowing your individual circumstances, however, no one can make a budget
for you in minute detail. The amounts you should allot to various items
are governed by many considerations.
For example, there are some types of employment that require more
expensive clothes than others, while some professions necessitate the
purchase of equipment. Again, the major proportions will change with the
needs of your dependents, whether these are children or older persons
who look to you for help. Moreover, a wife who confines her activities
to the home will do many money-saving chores and require fewer clothes
than she would if she, too, went to business. Notwithstanding these
individual variations, the foregoing rules of thumb will be helpful in
keeping you within safe bounds.
But the proportion of your income to be spent for various purposes is
only a small part of your problem. Don't be surprised if your budget
fails to balance. Probably 95 percent of those who attempt to budget
their family expenses have this experience. The primary reason is that
few persons really know what it costs to live. This is due, in part, to
the fact that we often confuse _total_ expenses with _day-to-day_
expenses. Most people think of living costs as the immediate outlay for
food, clothing, and shelter, disregarding the important item of
depreciation.
The average housewife understands depreciation as it applies to food in
a refrigerator, but gives very little thought to the same process as it
applies to furniture, appliances, motorcar, clothing, and the house she
lives in--if she and her husband own it. When replacement or repair of
these more durable goods becomes necessary, there often is no fund
available for the purpose. If replacement or repair is made, the budget
is thrown out of balance. If neither is undertaken, depreciation sets
in all the faster.
In order to catch up at this point, many couples take what seems at the
time to be the easiest way out--they borrow money. This may appear to
solve the problem, but actually the repayment of the loan throws the
budget farther out of balance. Not only that, but a substantial interest
charge must be met. To cover such obligations, you will have to curtail
your living expenses, and you will find this much harder to do than to
save for these emergencies in the first place.
One of the greatest financial difficulties encountered by young people
(and many older ones, too, for that matter) is that of making an
intelligent decision in the purchase of such important and costly items
as a house, mechanical home appliances, furniture, and life insurance.
The reason why it is difficult to select these things is that we buy
them too seldom to acquire much experience with reference to them.
Life insurance is a subject on which very few of us have specific
information. It is as important as it is trite to point out that the
amount and the type of insurance should be governed by the kind of
hazards against which you should provide. Yet it is necessary to realize
that the need of protection changes as life progresses. A father with
young, dependent children should carry considerably more insurance than
a man with no dependents other than his wife. Consequently, it is
desirable to carry two types of insurance: on the one hand, a straight
life contract, entered into preferably early in life when annual
premiums are lower, and, on the other hand, successive renewable
term-insurance policies which may be purchased when temporary
responsibilities, such as the rearing of children, are undertaken.
Protection for a childless wife might be limited to an amount equal to
two years of the husband's salary. Roughly, the same amount of term
insurance may be taken out for each child. The earlier in life such
policies are acquired, of course, the smaller the annual premiums.
Renewable term-insurance premiums are lower than straight life insurance
because in the former there is no cash surrender value. Term insurance,
like fire insurance, buys protection--and nothing else.
It is a mistake to look at life insurance as a primary form of saving
because, generally speaking, the more the life-insurance policy conforms
to a savings account, the less effectively and economically it affords
protection against the hazard of death. Buy the life insurance as life
insurance and put your savings into a savings account. It is well to
remember at this point, too, that if you can accumulate enough to pay
your insurance premiums yearly--rather than weekly or monthly--you will
pay a lower rate.
The purchase of a home is another difficult undertaking for the newly
married couple because the average person cannot tell the difference
between a well-built house and one which is poorly constructed. Unless
there is some understanding of this matter, it probably will be wiser to
defer the purchase of a house and live in rented quarters until one
acquires such knowledge. It must be remembered, also, that the upkeep of
a dwelling is likely to come to a substantial figure and that the budget
may be severely strained if one does not know in advance the actual
costs of owning real estate.
Not the least of these items to be investigated is the amount of
assessments which are or may be levied against the property. The
likelihood of such levies is seldom pointed out by the real-estate
salesman. Furthermore, if one's position is insecure or there is a
possibility of being transferred to another section of the country in
the course of one's employment, it would be wiser to live in rented
quarters.
It is a good general rule to pay no more than twice one year's salary
for a house; of this amount, not less than 10 percent will be required
generally as a "down payment." Then you will have to pay interest and
amortization on your mortgage, which, with taxes and upkeep, probably
will come to as much as the rent for a similar house. At the end of a
period of years, however, you own the house, which is a definite
advantage.
Perhaps you have decided, as many young couples do today, that you will
both work for wages. The arrival of a baby or possibly some other
unplanned event may force the wife to give up her job. If you would
avoid real difficulties, therefore, try from the outset to meet the big
items--rent, food, essential clothing, and the minimum of insurance and
savings--out of the husband's earnings. Let the wife's earnings cover
only those items which, though desirable, are less important to your
welfare, such as "luxury" clothes, recreation, and items of a similar
character.
Any couple who depend on the wife's earnings for such essentials as
food, clothing, and shelter should be prepared to adopt a lower scale of
expenditure for any of or all these purposes, for as a general rule her
contribution to the family income is likely to be less certain than that
of her husband. The time to take on additional expenses is after an
increase in the husband's wages--not before. Guard against the
assumption of obligations which you could not meet if your combined
income were reduced.
Simple as this rule would seem to be, I have seen it ignored time and
time again, usually with the same unhappy result. I have in mind the
case of a couple whom we shall call the Browns. Doris Brown supplemented
her husband's salary by giving piano lessons at home. They planned to
have a baby and could well have managed to do so with but a short
interruption to Doris' teaching activity. But--and this is what so many
couples contemplating children overlook--complications set in which made
it necessary for her to spend the last six months of pregnancy in a
hospital.
Not only did the family income decline by the amount she had earned, but
expenses increased greatly. Some of the deficit was made up by
borrowing, but there is a limit to the amount that can be obtained in
this manner. That limit was reached before the last $150 was paid on the
grand piano which Doris required for her work. As a result, the piano
was taken back by the dealer.
The Browns, fortunately, are persons who do not give in readily in the
face of adversity. They will work out their own problem and regain lost
ground. Indeed, they have already moved into cheaper living quarters,
not only to adapt themselves to a smaller income but also to work out of
debt and re-acquire a piano. Much of the heartache in this situation
might have been avoided if the couple had depended less on the wife's
income to meet essential expenses.
One of the greatest pitfalls in the path of any young couple is the
feeling that they must "keep up with the Joneses." We all think of
ourselves as belonging to a certain social group--whether we express it
in snobbish terms or not. But we need not on that account maintain a
standard comparable to that of a neighbor whom we admire if, in doing
so, we overextend ourselves. Intelligent persons are not impressed
favorably by pretense.
What impresses is training and ability. Since the best time to acquire
these is when we are young, it may be necessary for a while to practice
the very opposite of ostentation--self-sacrifice. If your husband is a
professional man and you have married early, he may still be working
for an advanced degree. This entails fees and--what is even more
exacting--time. It means sacrifice--giving up social engagements and
many comforts which you would be able to have on your husband's present
salary. There is no more basic part of the budget today than provision
for more vocational training.
Most of us waste money on nonessentials. We have glass curtains before
we can afford them, whereas no curtains often make our houses lighter
and more restful. We have fancy trays, knickknacks, and extra little
tables that we do not need. The most attractive houses are in many cases
those which show no evidence of overcrowding.
How many women, if they look into their bureau drawers, will not find
them cluttered with accessories which either are not used or, if worn,
spoil the elegance and tidy distinction of their costumes? Buying wisely
is an art, but it requires no special talent--only a willingness to
learn--and there are any number of books and magazine articles available
that will help you to be better buyers. There are a few general
recommendations, however, which may be made.
For example, don't buy without asking yourself in each instance: "Do I
need this?" and "Will it fit in with other things I now have, or will it
require further buying?" Thus a brown coat, no matter how cheap, is no
bargain if all your accessories are black.
Another important principle of good buying is: Be sure you know what you
want; then buy the best you can afford. The best is usually the cheapest
in the long run. It means fewer replacements, longer use, and better
appearance from the start. Analogous to wasting money on second-grade
goods is the purchase of imitations of articles you can't afford.
Don't buy things that require expensive upkeep. Washing is cheaper than
dry-cleaning, and if you have washable clothes and furnishings that can
be handled at home, you will not be stranded in a period when you have
to cut costs by doing the work yourself.
Buy from well-established merchants. Their reputation is valuable, to
you and to them alike. Avoid the fly-by-night shop and its vaunted
"bargains."
I have known brides who spent their meager food allowances on useless
trimmings. Such ignorance is inexcusable; no woman these days need go
without competent advice on food purchases. She has only to consult her
favorite magazine.
Most budgets allow something for the theatre, social affairs, weekends,
vacation, and travel for pleasure. The proportion of your income to be
spent on recreation is a matter about which we must not be dogmatic. You
must figure out what you want most. In the first place, recreation
requires the allotment of time and money to do things which you most
enjoy, and these will differ for every couple. We may easily
overemphasize the kind of recreation for which we pay money. It is true
that theatre tickets, phonograph records, and the like are expensive and
offer a passive form of entertainment, more appropriate for older
people. When you are young and trying to be happy on little money, it is
foolish to believe that you have to buy your fun. Whether or not you
have a good time depends not on how much money you spend but on whether
you and your husband are fundamentally good companions.
Have you the spirit of play and the ability to enjoy things together?
Then you have one of life's most precious gifts. Preserve it by
exercise. Wherever you live, there are inexpensive ways of getting into
the woods, picnicking together, walking, swimming, and enjoying all
sorts of outdoor sports at very little cost. Such recreation is good for
you physically, and great fun besides.
Many young couples spend so much emotional energy on their children that
they lose the invaluable habit of running off to play together. Wherever
you cut expenses, do not neglect to go off together frequently as you
did when you were engaged. No money is better spent than the small fee
for hiring a person to look after the children while husband and wife
take a picnic lunch together, a long walk, or do whatever it is they
most enjoy.
Too common today are people like Mary and Jim, who, in their eagerness
to do all that books and lectures recommend for little Peter, got so
involved in his welfare that they lost all their sense of fun. They are
today thoroughly dull people, no longer interesting socially. Jim has
failed to rise in his business, for he mislaid the spark of enthusiasm
which made him an asset to his employer. Most unhappy is poor Peter, who
has become a genuine problem child.
Entertaining may seem important to you, but young couples are not
expected to engage in any sort of formal social activity. Avoid
expensive dinner parties and substitute informal gatherings where both
the preparation and the cost of food will be slight. If you are original
and vivacious hosts, your guests will have a jolly time.
Your budget should provide something for medical service. Remember that
the largest dental bill comes after a period of neglect. You should not
have to spend much in fees for the family doctor. Select one with care
and talk over your circumstances with him in a friendly way. Don't be
afraid to ask him what his fee will be. It is a false kind of pride that
leads one to hesitate in discussing professional fees frankly and fully.
Investigate the three-cents-a-day hospital plan in your community.
No more serious question of expense will confront you than the cost of
children. The direct expense for hospital and medical care incidental to
the arrival of a baby varies in different parts of the country, but it
is safe to say that in cities it will be somewhere between $100 and $200
as a minimum.
However, you need not expect to enjoy the frills of a private room and
special nurses and think the doctor will take care of you for a nominal
fee; there is no reason why he should. Having a baby is not a disease,
and you will not need to have fussy care.
You should, however, put something aside for those extra expenses which
are almost certain to occur. During the baby's first year, regular
medical care should be provided. Your doctor may suggest a contract
under which you would pay him a specified amount to keep baby well and
receive his services whenever you need them during that period. Under
such a plan you may pay anywhere from $50 to $300 a year. If you prefer
to pay by the visit, you take the risk; it may cost more, or it may
amount to less in the course of a year than it would under the terms of
a definite contract.
It is easy to be extravagant in buying unnecessary clothes and toys for
the child. Remember that a baby is happiest in the simplest surroundings
and that the only two things you can give your child which are of
permanent value are good health and an acceptable social attitude. If
you have the sort of home which leads him to develop a friendly, happy
disposition and teaches him the necessity of living honestly and
sincerely with no attempt to conceal mistakes, you will give him as much
as any parent can give any child. It is for yourself and not for your
possessions that your children may "arise up, and call you blessed."
It is important to you both to keep up your appearance in order to be as
attractive physically and mentally as before you were married. But you
may have to be very ingenious in devising short cuts to this end when
the permanent wave you planned for or the new suit you hoped to buy is
deferred by the need to put some more money into your husband's
preparation for his business or profession or by any other emergency
which might arise. The pluck with which you meet these disappointments
is a measure of your fitness for marriage.
In my own observation, among the young business and professional group I
have seen less genuine lack of money than fretful stupidity which was
expressed in poor management. A lack of imagination and resourcefulness
often paves the way to tragedy. We are living in a fascinating age, but
under a complex economy that makes many demands on our spirit of
pioneering and adventure.
It was picturesque--daring, perhaps--to leave comfortable homes and
settled communities as our great-grandparents did, adventuring into new
country. It sounds romantic to live in a sodhouse and wrestle with
nature. The truth is that they pretty well had to do these things to
carve out a niche for themselves in their economic system.
We young married people may have to live in a walk-up in an
unfashionable part of town, but the same spirit of daring adventure and
the identical will to make a go of things animates us. If you have that
spirit, you can afford to get married, and I can assure you that the
rewards of facing your problems and seeing them through together are
high. Such a marriage is firmly rooted, and when its buoyant young love
matures, its flower is an enduring happiness that nothing else can
equal.
_Jessie Marshall, M.D._
CHAPTER SEVEN
_Children? Of Course!_
Nowadays we hear much about planning--town planning, city planning,
nation planning. The elder and younger statesmen are going to see to it
that we are well-housed, well-fed, suitably employed according to our
abilities, and provided for in our old age. Good. This, as I understand
it, has always been the American plan. I am sure that no American who is
willing to work deserves less than the fullness of the earth. And I
shall assume that this country is going to be well enough planned to
enable you to raise a family--with suitable planning. For family
planning is the most important planning. Indeed, the whole point of
national planning is to enable us in turn to plan the nation. The nation
rests on the family. Your family rests on you and your mate. What are
you planning to do about it? How, when, and why?
In our children we live over our own childhood and project ourselves
into the future. Until our own children come along we tend to forget
that the world, to which we are now so thoroughly and sometimes
wearisomely accustomed, once struck us as a thing of mysterious
glamour, promising an endless opening vista of keen excitement.
And yet, if life is to continue worth the living, we must continue to
hold onto that early attitude. We must continue to find ecstasy in
simple sources. And often it is our children--easily yet deeply pleased,
ceaselessly busy with their paints and blocks and animals, ready for
every new adventure, never jaded, never dull--who must remind us, their
elders, how to get the most out of life. In their love for flowers and
animals, paints and song, we may rediscover the submerged or forgotten
purpose of our own lives. Or our talent may be for building happy lives
from the ground up, in which case the children themselves are the answer
to our search for pure-hearted, never flagging excitement.