SIR,--The reason why I have not hitherto contributed to the controversy
on the recent unhappy (Police) Divisions is, because I have been laid up
in the Hospital. Never mind which Hospital--but I have not been so
comfortable since I had the mumps, years and years ago, at school. Being
a born economist, I naturally turned out in my myriads to assist at a
gratis show in Trafalgar Square; and, Sir, I never came so near
realising what a "dead head" was in the whole course of a chequered (not
to say chuckered) career. But do I turn round and abuse the Police? Why,
ever since that fortunate Sunday, I have enjoyed, at no expense to
myself, the most delicate of viands, the tenderest of nursing, and a
complete immunity from even the suggestion of getting anything to do;
and, in addition to all this, the satisfaction of having employed the
services of a force to whose maintenance I have never contributed one
farthing. But soft, a nurse approaches, and I must dissemble.
Yours, in Clover,
FREEMAN GRUBBER.
* * * * *
"Re-Joyce!"
The Woodford tenants
Must have liquor'd
To hear of the penance
Of Lord CLANRICARDE.
* * * * *