Sunt hie etiam sua proemia laudi,
Sunt lachrymae rerum, et mentem mortalia tangunt.
VIRGIL.
E'en the mute walls relate the victim's fame.
And sinner's tears the good man's pity claim.
DRYDEN.
"We set sail; the wind continued favourable during the entire passage.
I obtained from the captain's kindness a separate cabin for the use of
Manon and myself. He was so good as to distinguish us from the herd of
our miserable associates. I took an opportunity, on the second day, of
conciliating his attentions, by telling him part of our unfortunate
history. I did not feel that I was guilty of any very culpable
falsehood in saying that I was the husband of Manon. He appeared to
believe it, and promised me his protection; and indeed we experienced,
during the whole passage, the most flattering evidences of his
sincerity. He took care that our table was comfortably provided; and
his attentions procured us the marked respect of our companions in
misery. The unwearied object of my solicitude was to save Manon from
every inconvenience. She felt this, and her gratitude, together with a
lively sense of the singular position in which I had placed myself
solely for her sake, rendered the dear creature so tender and
impassioned, so attentive also to my most trifling wants, that it was
between us a continual emulation of attentions and of love. I felt no
regret at quitting Europe; on the contrary, the nearer we approached
America, the more did I feel my heart expand and become tranquil. If I
had not felt a dread of our perhaps wanting, by and by, the absolute
necessaries of life, I should have been grateful to fate for having at
length given so favourable a turn to our affairs.
"'After a passage of two months, we at length reached the banks of the
desired river. The country offered at first sight nothing agreeable.
We saw only sterile and uninhabited plains, covered with rushes, and
some trees rooted up by the wind. No trace either of men or animals.
However, the captain having discharged some pieces of artillery, we
presently observed a group of the inhabitants of New Orleans, who
approached us with evident signs of joy. We had not perceived the
town: it is concealed upon the side on which we approached it by a
hill. We were received as persons dropped from the clouds.
"The poor inhabitants hastened to put a thousand questions to us upon
the state of France, and of the different provinces in which they were
born. They embraced us as brothers, and as beloved companions, who had
come to share their pains and their solitude.
"We turned towards the town with them; but we were astonished to
perceive, as we advanced, that what we had hitherto heard spoken of as
a respectable town, was nothing more than a collection of miserable
huts. They were inhabited by five or six hundred persons. The
governor's house was a little distinguished from the rest by its height
and its position. It was surrounded by some earthen ramparts, and a
deep ditch.
"We were first presented to him. He continued for some time in
conversation with the captain; and then advancing towards us, he looked
attentively at the women one after another: there were thirty of them,
for another troop of convicts had joined us at Havre. After having
thus inspected them, he sent for several young men of the colony who
were desirous to marry. He assigned the handsomest women to the
principal of these, and the remainder were disposed of by lot. He had
not yet addressed Manon; but having ordered the others to depart, he
made us remain. 'I learn from the captain,' said he, 'that you are
married, and he is convinced by your conduct on the passage that you
are both persons of merit and of education. I have nothing to do with
the cause of your misfortunes; but if it be true that you are as
conversant with the world and society as your appearance would
indicate, I shall spare no pains to soften the severity of your lot,
and you may on your part contribute towards rendering this savage and
desert abode less disagreeable to me.' I replied in the manner which I
thought best calculated to confirm the opinion he had formed of us. He
gave orders to have a habitation prepared for us in the town, and
detained us to supper. I was really surprised to find so much
politeness in a governor of transported convicts. In the presence of
others he abstained from enquiring about our past adventures. The
conversation was general; and in spite of our degradation, Manon and I
exerted ourselves to make it lively and agreeable.
"At night we were conducted to the lodging prepared for us. We found a
wretched hovel composed of planks and mud, containing three rooms on
the ground, and a loft overhead. He had sent there six chairs, and
some few necessaries of life.
"Manon appeared frightened by the first view of this melancholy
dwelling. It was on my account much more than upon her own, that she
distressed herself. When we were left to ourselves, she sat down and
wept bitterly. I attempted at first to console her; but when she
enabled me to understand that it was for my sake she deplored our
privations, and that in our common afflictions she only considered me
as the sufferer, I put on an air of resolution, and even of content,
sufficient to encourage her.
"'What is there in my lot to lament?' said I; 'I possess all that I
have ever desired. You love me, Manon, do you not? What happiness
beyond this have I ever longed for? Let us leave to Providence the
direction of our destiny; it by no means appears to me so desperate.
The governor is civil and obliging; he has already given us marks of
his consideration; he will not allow us to want for necessaries. As to
our rude hut and the squalidness of our furniture, you might have
noticed that there are few persons in the colony better lodged or more
comfortably furnished than we are: and then you are an admirable
chemist,' added I, embracing her; 'you transform everything into gold.'
"'In that case,' she answered, 'you shall be the richest man in the
universe; for, as there never was love surpassing yours, so it is
impossible for man to be loved more tenderly than you are by me. I
well know,' she continued, 'that I have never merited the almost
incredible fidelity and attachment which you have shown for me. I have
often caused you annoyances, which nothing but excessive fondness could
have induced you to pardon. I have been thoughtless and volatile; and
even while loving you as I have always done to distraction, I was never
free from a consciousness of ingratitude. But you cannot believe how
much my nature is altered; those tears which you have so frequently
seen me shed since quitting the French shore, have not been caused by
my own misfortunes. Since you began to share them with me, I have been
a stranger to selfishness: I only wept from tenderness and compassion
for you. I am inconsolable at the thought of having given you one
instant's pain during my past life. I never cease upbraiding myself
with my former inconstancy, and wondering at the sacrifices which love
has induced you to make for a miserable and unworthy wretch, who could
not, with the last drop of her blood, compensate for half the torments
she has caused you.'
"Her grief, the language, and the tone in which she expressed herself,
made such an impression, that I felt my heart ready to break in me.
'Take care,' said I to her, 'take care, dear Manon; I have not strength
to endure such exciting marks of your affection; I am little accustomed
to the rapturous sensations which you now kindle in my heart. Oh
Heaven!' cried I, 'I have now nothing further to ask of you. I am sure
of Manon's love. That has been alone wanting to complete my happiness;
I can now never cease to be happy: my felicity is well secured.'
"'It is indeed,' she replied, 'if it depends upon me, and I well know
where I can be ever certain of finding my own happiness centred.'
"With these ideas, capable of turning my hut into a palace worthy of
earth's proudest monarch, I lay down to rest. America appeared to my
view the true land of milk and honey, the abode of contentment and
delight. 'People should come to New Orleans,' I often said to Manon,
'who wish to enjoy the real rapture of love! It is here that love is
divested of all selfishness, all jealousy, all inconstancy. Our
countrymen come here in search of gold; they little think that we have
discovered treasures of inestimably greater value.'
"We carefully cultivated the governor's friendship. He bestowed upon
me, a few weeks after our arrival, a small appointment which became
vacant in the fort. Although not one of any distinction, I gratefully
accepted it as a gift of Providence, as it enabled me to live
independently of others' aid. I took a servant for myself, and a woman
for Manon. Our little establishment became settled: nothing could
surpass the regularity of my conduct, or that of Manon; we lost no
opportunity of serving or doing an act of kindness to our neighbours.
This friendly disposition, and the mildness of our manners, secured us
the confidence and affection of the whole colony. We soon became so
respected, that we ranked as the principal persons in the town after
the governor.
"The simplicity of our habits and occupations, and the perfect
innocence in which we lived, revived insensibly our early feelings of
devotion. Manon had never been an irreligious girl, and I was far from
being one of those reckless libertines who delight in adding impiety
and sacrilege to moral depravity: all the disorders of our lives might
be fairly ascribed to the natural influences of youth and love.
Experience had now begun with us to do the office of age; it produced
the same effect upon us as years must have done. Our conversation,
which was generally of a serious turn, by degrees engendered a longing
for virtuous love. I first proposed this change to Manon. I knew the
principles of her heart; she was frank and natural in all her
sentiments, qualities which invariably predispose to virtue. I said to
her that there was but one thing wanting to complete our happiness: 'it
is,' said I, 'to invoke upon our union the benediction of Heaven. We
have both of us hearts too sensitive and minds too refined, to continue
voluntarily in the wilful violation of so sacred a duty. It signifies
nothing our having lived while in France in such a manner, because
there it was as impossible for us not to love, as to be united by a
legitimate tie: but in America, where we are under no restraint, where
we owe no allegiance to the arbitrary distinctions of birth and
aristocratic prejudice, where besides we are already supposed to be
married, why should we not actually become so--why should we not
sanctify our love by the holy ordinances of religion? As for me,' I
added, 'I offer nothing new in offering you my hand and my heart; but I
am ready to ratify it at the foot of the altar.'
"This speech seemed to inspire her with joy. 'Would you believe it,'
she replied, 'I have thought of this a thousand times since our arrival
in America? The fear of annoying you has kept it shut up in my breast.
I felt that I had no pretensions to aspire to the character of your
wife.'
"'Ah! Manon,' said I, 'you should very soon be a sovereign's consort,
if I had been born to the inheritance of a crown. Let us not hesitate;
we have no obstacle to impede us: I will this day speak to the governor
on the subject, and acknowledge that we have in this particular
hitherto deceived him. Let us leave,' added I, 'to vulgar lovers the
dread of the indissoluble bonds of marriage;[1] they would not fear
them if they were assured, as we are, of the continuance of those of
love.' I left Manon enchanted by this resolution.
"I am persuaded that no honest man could disapprove of this intention
in my present situation; that is to say, fatally enslaved as I was by a
passion which I could not subdue, and visited by compunction and
remorse which I ought not to stifle. But will any man charge me with
injustice or impiety if I complain of the rigour of Heaven in defeating
a design that I could only have formed with the view of conciliating
its favour and complying with its decrees? Alas do I say defeated?
nay punished as a new crime. I was patiently permitted to go blindly
along the high road of vice; and the cruellest chastisements were
reserved for the period when I was returning to the paths of virtue. I
now fear that I shall have hardly fortitude enough left to recount the
most disastrous circumstances that ever occurred to any man.
"I waited upon the governor, as I had settled with Manon, to procure
his consent to the ceremony of our marriage. I should have avoided
speaking to him or to any other person upon the subject, if I had
imagined that his chaplain, who was the only minister in the town,
would have performed the office for me without his knowledge; but not
daring to hope that he would do so privately, I determined to act
ingenuously in the matter.
"The governor had a nephew named Synnelet, of whom he was particularly
fond. He was about thirty; brave, but of a headstrong and violent
disposition. He was not married. Manon's beauty had struck him on the
first day of our arrival; and the numberless opportunities he had of
seeing her during the last nine or ten months, had so inflamed his
passion, that he was absolutely pining for her in secret. However, as
he was convinced in common with his uncle and the whole colony that I
was married, he put such a restraint upon his feelings, that they
remained generally unnoticed; and he lost no opportunity of showing the
most disinterested friendship for me.
"He happened to be with his uncle when I arrived at the government
house. I had no reason for keeping my intention a secret from him, so
that I explained myself without hesitation in his presence. The
governor heard me with his usual kindness. I related to him a part of
my history, to which he listened with evident interest; and when I
requested his presence at the intended ceremony, he was so generous as
to say, that he must be permitted to defray the expenses of the
succeeding entertainment. I retired perfectly satisfied.
"In an hour after, the chaplain paid me a visit. I thought he was come
to prepare me by religious instruction for the sacred ceremony; but,
after a cold salutation, he announced to me in two words, that the
governor desired I would relinquish all thoughts of such a thing, for
that he had other views for Manon.
"'Other views for Manon!' said I, as I felt my heart sink within me;
'what views then can they be, chaplain?'
"He replied, that I must be, of course, aware that the governor was
absolute master here; that Manon, having been transported from France
to the colony, was entirely at his disposal; that, hitherto he had not
exercised his right, believing that she was a married woman; but that
now, having learned from my own lips that it was not so, he had
resolved to assign her to M. Synnelet, who was passionately in love
with her.
"My indignation overcame my prudence. Irritated as I was, I desired
the chaplain instantly to quit my house, swearing at the same time that
neither governor, Synnelet, nor the whole colony together, should lay
hands upon my wife, or mistress, if they chose so to call her.
"I immediately told Manon of the distressing message I had just
received. We conjectured that Synnelet had warped his uncle's mind
after my departure, and that it was all the effect of a premeditated
design. They were, questionless, the stronger party. We found
ourselves in New Orleans, as in the midst of the ocean, separated from
the rest of the world by an immense interval of space. In a country
perfectly unknown, a desert, or inhabited, if not by brutes, at least
by savages quite as ferocious, to what corner could we fly? I was
respected in the town, but I could not hope to excite the people in my
favour to such a degree as to derive assistance from them proportioned
to the impending danger: money was requisite for that purpose, and I
was poor. Besides, the success of a popular commotion was uncertain;
and if we failed in the attempt, our doom would be inevitably sealed.
"I revolved these thoughts in my mind; I mentioned them in part to
Manon; I found new ones, without waiting for her replies; I determined
upon one course, and then abandoned that to adopt another; I talked to
myself, and answered my own thoughts aloud; at length I sank into a
kind of hysterical stupor that I can compare to nothing, because
nothing ever equalled it. Manon observed my emotion, and from its
violence, judged how imminent was our danger; and, apprehensive more on
my account than on her own, the dear girl could not even venture to
give expression to her fears.
"After a multitude of reflections, I resolved to call upon the
governor, and appeal to his feelings of honour, to the recollection of
my unvarying respect for him, and the marks he had given of his own
affection for us both. Manon endeavoured to dissuade me from this
attempt: she said, with tears in her eyes, 'You are rushing into the
jaws of death; they will murder you--I shall never again see you--I am
determined to die before you.' I had great difficulty in persuading
her that it was absolutely necessary that I should go, and that she
should remain at home. I promised that she should see me again in a few
moments. She did not foresee, nor did I, that it was against herself
the whole anger of Heaven, and the rabid fury of our enemies, was about
to be concentrated.
"I went to the fort: the governor was there with his chaplain. I
supplicated him in a tone of humble submission that I could have ill
brooked under other circumstances. I invoked his clemency by every
argument calculated to soften any heart less ferocious and cruel than a
tiger's.
"The barbarian made to all my prayers but two short answers, which he
repeated over and over again. 'Manon,' he said, 'was at his disposal:
and he had given a promise to his nephew.' I was resolved to command
my feelings to the last: I merely replied, that I had imagined he was
too sincerely my friend to desire my death, to which I would infinitely
rather consent than to the loss of my mistress.
"I felt persuaded, on quitting him, that it was folly to expect
anything from the obstinate tyrant, who would have damned himself a
hundred times over to please his nephew. However, I persevered in
restraining my temper to the end; deeply resolved, if they persisted in
such flagrant injustice, to make America the scene of one of the most
horrible and bloody murders that even love had ever led to.
"I was, on my return home, meditating upon this design, when fate, as
if impatient to expedite my ruin, threw Synnelet in my way. He read in
my countenance a portion of my thoughts. I before said, he was brave.
He approached me.
"'Are you not seeking me?' he enquired. 'I know that my intentions
have given you mortal offence, and that the death of one of us is
indispensable: let us see who is to be the happy man.'
"I replied, that such was unquestionably the fact, and that nothing but
death could end the difference between us.
"We retired about one hundred paces out of the town. We drew: I
wounded and disarmed him at the first onset. He was so enraged, that
he peremptorily refused either to ask his life or renounce his claims
to Manon. I might have been perhaps justified in ending both by a
single blow; but noble blood ever vindicates its origin. I threw him
back his sword. 'Let us renew the struggle,' said I to him, 'and
remember that there shall be now no quarter.' He attacked me with
redoubled fury. I must confess that I was not an accomplished
swordsman, having had but three months' tuition in Paris. Love,
however, guided my weapon. Synnelet pierced me through and through the
left arm; but I caught him whilst thus engaged, and made so vigorous a
thrust that I stretched him senseless at my feet.
"In spite of the triumphant feeling that victory, after a mortal
conflict, inspires, I was immediately horrified by the certain
consequences of his death. There could not be the slightest hope of
either pardon or respite from the vengeance I had thus incurred.
Aware, as I was, of the affection of the governor for his nephew, I
felt perfectly sure that my death would not be delayed a single hour
after his should become known. 'Urgent as this apprehension was, it
still was by no means the principal source of my uneasiness. Manon,
the welfare of Manon, the peril that impended over her, and the
certainty of my being now at length separated from her, afflicted me to
such a degree, that I was incapable of recognising the place in which I
stood. I regretted Synnelet's death: instant suicide seemed the only
remedy for my woes.
"However, it was this very thought that quickly restored me to my
reason, and enabled me to form a resolution. 'What,' said I to myself,
'die, in order to end my pain! Then there is something I dread more
than the loss of all I love! No, let me suffer the cruellest
extremities in order to aid her; and when these prove of no avail, fly
to death as a last resource!'
"I returned towards the town; on my arrival at home, I found Manon half
dead with fright and anxiety: my presence restored her. I could not
conceal from her the terrible accident that had happened. On my
mentioning the death of Synnelet and my own wound, she fell in a state
of insensibility into my arms. It was a quarter of an hour before I
could bring her again to her senses.
"I was myself in a most deplorable state of mind; I could not discern
the slightest prospect of safety for either of us. 'Manon,' said I to
her, when she had recovered a little, 'what shall we do? Alas, what
hope remains to us? I must necessarily fly. Will you remain in the
town? Yes dearest Manon, do remain; you may possibly still be happy
here; while I, far away from you, may seek death and find it amongst
the savages, or the wild beasts.'
"She raised herself in spite of her weakness, and taking hold of my
hand to lead me towards the door: 'Let us,' said she, 'fly together,
we have not a moment to lose; Synnelet's body may be found by chance,
and we shall then have no time to escape.' 'But, dear Manon,' replied
I, 'to what place can we fly? Do you perceive any resource? Would it
not be better that you should endeavour to live on without me; and that
I should go and voluntarily place my life in the governor's hands?'
"This proposal had only the effect of making her more impatient for our
departure. I had presence of mind enough, on going out, to take with
me some strong liquors which I had in my chamber, and as much food as I
could carry in my pockets. We told our servants, who were in the
adjoining room, that we were going to take our evening walk, as was our
invariable habit; and we left the town behind us more rapidly than I
had thought possible from Manon's delicate state of health.
"Although I had not formed any resolve as to our future destination, I
still cherished a hope, without which I should have infinitely
preferred death to my suspense about Manon's safety. I had acquired a
sufficient knowledge of the country, during nearly ten months which I
had now passed in America, to know in what manner the natives should be
approached. Death was not the necessary consequence of falling into
their hands. I had learned a few words of their language, and some of
their customs, having had many opportunities of seeing them.
"Besides this sad resource, I derived some hopes from the fact, that
the English had, like ourselves, established colonies in this part of
the New World. But the distance was terrific. In order to reach them,
we should have to traverse deserts of many days' journey, and more than
one range of mountains so steep and vast as to seem almost impassable
to the strongest man. I nevertheless flattered myself that we might
derive partial relief from one or other of these sources: the savages
might serve us as guides, and the English receive us in their
settlements.
"We journeyed on as long as Manon's strength would permit, that is to
say, about six miles; for this incomparable creature, with her usual
absence of selfishness, refused my repeated entreaties to stop.
Overpowered at length by fatigue, she acknowledged the utter
impossibility of proceeding farther. It was already night: we sat down
in the midst of an extensive plain, where we could not even find a tree
to shelter us. Her first care was to dress my wound, which she had
bandaged before our departure. I, in vain, entreated her to desist from
exertion: it would have only added to her distress if I had refused her
the satisfaction of seeing me at ease and out of danger, before her own
wants were attended to. I allowed her therefore to gratify herself,
and in shame and silence submitted to her delicate attentions.
"But when she had completed her tender task, with what ardour did I not
enter upon mine! I took off my clothes and stretched them under her,
to render more endurable the hard and rugged ground on which she lay.
I protected her delicate hands from the cold by my burning kisses and
the warmth of my sighs. I passed the livelong night in watching over
her as she slept, and praying Heaven to refresh her with soft and
undisturbed repose. 'You can bear witness, just and all-seeing God! to
the fervour and sincerity of those prayers, and Thou alone knowest with
what awful rigour they were rejected.'
"You will excuse me, if I now cut short a story which it distresses me
beyond endurance to relate. It is, I believe, a calamity without
parallel. I can never cease to deplore it. But although it continues,
of course, deeply and indelibly impressed on my memory, yet my heart
seems to shrink within me each time that I attempt the recital.
"We had thus tranquilly passed the night. I had fondly imagined that
my beloved mistress was in a profound sleep, and I hardly dared to
breathe lest I should disturb her. As day broke, I observed that her
hands were cold and trembling; I pressed them to my bosom in the hope
of restoring animation. This movement roused her attention, and making
an effort to grasp my hand, she said, in a feeble voice, that she
thought her last moments had arrived.
"I, at first, took this for a passing weakness, or the ordinary
language of distress; and I answered with the usual consolations that
love prompted. But her incessant sighs, her silence, and inattention
to my enquiries, the convulsed grasp of her hands, in which she
retained mine, soon convinced me that the crowning end of all my
miseries was approaching.
"Do not now expect me to attempt a description of my feelings, or to
repeat her dying expressions. I lost her--I received the purest
assurances of her love even at the very instant that her spirit fled.
I have not nerve to say more upon this fatal and disastrous event.
"My spirit was not destined to accompany Manon's. Doubtless, Heaven
did not as yet consider me sufficiently punished, and therefore
ordained that I should continue to drag on a languid and joyless
existence. I willingly renounced every hope of leading a happy one.
"I remained for twenty-four hours without taking my lips from the still
beauteous countenance and hands of my adored Manon. My intention was
to await my own death in that position; but at the beginning of the
second day, I reflected that, after I was gone, she must of necessity
become the prey of wild beasts. I then determined to bury her, and
wait my own doom upon her grave. I was already, indeed, so near my end
from the combined effect of long fasting and grief, that it was with
the greatest difficulty I could support myself standing. I was obliged
to have recourse to the liquors which I had brought with me, and these
restored sufficient strength to enable me to set about my last sad
office. From the sandy nature of the soil there was little trouble in
opening the ground. I broke my sword and used it for the purpose; but
my bare hands were of greater service. I dug a deep grave, and there
deposited the idol of my heart, after having wrapt around her my
clothes to prevent the sand from touching her. I kissed her ten
thousand times with all the ardour of the most glowing love, before I
laid her in this melancholy bed. I sat for some time upon the bank
intently gazing on her, and could not command fortitude enough to close
the grave over her. At length, feeling that my strength was giving
way, and apprehensive of its being entirely exhausted before the
completion of my task, I committed to the earth all that it had ever
contained most perfect and peerless. I then lay myself with my face
down upon the grave, and closing my eyes with the determination never
again to open them, I invoked the mercy of Heaven, and ardently prayed
for death.
"You will find it difficult to believe that, during the whole time of
this protracted and distressing ceremony, not a tear or a sigh escaped
to relieve my agony. The state of profound affliction in which I was,
and the deep settled resolution I had taken to die, had silenced the
sighs of despair, and effectually dried up the ordinary channels of
grief. It was thus impossible for me, in this posture upon the grave,
to continue for any time in possession of my faculties.
"After what you have listened to, the remainder of my own history would
ill repay the attention you seem inclined to bestow upon it. Synnelet
having been carried into the town and skilfully examined, it was found
that, so far from being dead, he was not even dangerously wounded. He
informed his uncle of the manner in which the affray had occurred
between us, and he generously did justice to my conduct on the
occasion. I was sent for; and as neither of us could be found, our
flight was immediately suspected. It was then too late to attempt to
trace me, but the next day and the following one were employed in the
pursuit.
"I was found, without any appearance of life, upon the grave of Manon:
and the persons who discovered me in this situation, seeing that I was
almost naked and bleeding from my wounds, naturally supposed that I had
been robbed and assassinated. They carried me into the town. The
motion restored me to my senses. The sighs I heaved on opening my eyes
and finding myself still amongst the living, showed that I was not
beyond the reach of art: they were but too successful in its
application.
"I was immediately confined as a close prisoner. My trial was ordered;
and as Manon was not forthcoming, I was accused of having murdered her
from rage and jealousy. I naturally related all that had occurred.
Synnelet, though bitterly grieved and disappointed by what he heard,
had the generosity to solicit my pardon: he obtained it.
"I was so reduced, that they were obliged to carry me from the prison
to my bed, and there I suffered for three long months under severe
illness. My aversion from life knew no diminution. I continually
prayed for death, and obstinately for some time refused every remedy.
But Providence, after having punished me with atoning rigour, saw fit
to turn to my own use its chastisements and the memory of my multiplied
sorrows. It at length deigned to shed upon me its redeeming light, and
revived in my mind ideas worthy of my birth and my early education.
"My tranquillity of mind being again restored, my cure speedily
followed. I began only to feel the highest aspirations of honour, and
diligently performed the duties of my appointment, whilst expecting the
arrival of the vessels from France, which were always due at this
period of the year. I resolved to return to my native country, there
to expiate the scandal of my former life by my future good conduct.
Synnelet had the remains of my dear mistress removed into a more
hallowed spot.
"It was six weeks after my recovery that, one day walking alone upon
the banks of the river, I saw a vessel arrive, which some mercantile
speculation had directed to New Orleans. I stood by whilst the
passengers landed. Judge my surprise on recognising Tiberge amongst
those who proceeded towards the town. This ever-faithful friend knew
me at a distance, in spite of the ravages which care and sorrow had
worked upon my countenance. He told me that the sole object of his
voyage had been to see me once more, and to induce me to return with
him to France; that on receipt of the last letter which I had written
to him from Havre, he started for that place, and was himself the
bearer of the succour which I solicited; that he had been sensibly
affected on learning my departure, and that he would have instantly
followed me, if there had been a vessel bound for the same destination;
that he had been for several months endeavouring to hear of one in the
various seaport towns, and that, having at length found one at St. Malo
which was weighing anchor for Martinique, he embarked, in the
expectation of easily passing from thence to New Orleans; that the St.
Malo vessel having been captured by Spanish pirates and taken to one of
their islands, he had contrived to escape; and that, in short, after
many adventures, he had got on board the vessel which had just arrived,
and at length happily attained his object.
"I was totally unable adequately to express my feelings of gratitude to
this generous and unshaken friend. I conducted him to my house, and
placed all I possessed at his service. I related to him every
circumstance that had occurred to me since I left France: and in order
to gladden him with tidings which I knew he did not expect, I assured
him that the seeds of virtue which he had in former days implanted in
my heart, were now about to produce fruit, of which even he should be
proud. He declared to me, that this gladdening announcement more than
repaid him for all the fatigue and trouble he had endured.
"We passed two months together at New Orleans whilst waiting the
departure of a vessel direct to France; and having at length sailed, we
landed only a fortnight since at Havre-de-Grace. On my arrival I wrote
to my family. By a letter from my elder brother, I there learned my
father's death, which, I dread to think, the disorders of my youth
might have hastened. The wind being favourable for Calais, I embarked
for this port, and am now going to the house of one of my relations who
lives a few miles off, where my brother said that he should anxiously
await my arrival."
[1] Some say that Love, at sight of human ties,
Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies.