During the fashionable season at Langen-Schwalbach, the dinner hour at
all the Saals is one o'clock. From about noon scarcely a stranger is
to be seen; but a few minutes before the bell strikes one, the town
exhibits a picture curious enough, when it is contrasted with the
simple costume of the villagers, and the wild-looking country which
surrounds them. From all the hofs and lodging-houses, a set of demure,
quiet-looking, well-dressed people are suddenly disgorged, who, at
a sort of funeral pace, slowly advance towards the Allee Saal, the
Goldene Kette, the Kaiser Saal, and one or two other houses, _où l'on
dîne_. The ladies are not dressed in bonnets, but in caps, most of
which are quiet; the rest being of those indescribable shapes which are
to be seen in London or Paris. Whether the stiff-stand-up frippery of
bright-red ribands was meant to represent a house on fire, or purgatory
itself--whether those immense white ornaments were intended for reefs
of coral or not--it is out of my department to guess--ladies' caps
being riddles only to be explained by themselves.
With no one to affront them--with no fine-powdered footman to attend
them--with nothing but their appetites to direct them--and with their
own quiet conduct to protect them--old ladies, young ladies, elderly
gentlemen, and young ones, were seen slowly and silently picking their
way over the rough pavement. There was no greediness in their looks;
nor, as they proceeded, did they lick their lips, or show any other
signs of possessing any appetite at all; they looked much more as if
they were coming from a meal, than going to one: in short, they seemed
to be thinking of anything in the dictionary but the word _dinner_.
And when one contrasted or weighed the quietness of their demeanour,
against the enormous quantity of provisions they were placidly about to
consume, one could not help admitting that these Germans had certainly
more self-possession, and could better muzzle their feelings, than many
of the best-behaved people in the universe.
Seated at the table of the Allee Saal, I counted a hundred and eighty
people at dinner in one room. To say, in a single word, whether the
fare was good or bad, would be quite impossible, it being so completely
different to anything ever met with in England.
To my simple taste, the cooking is most horrid; still there were
now and then some dishes, particularly sweet ones, which I thought
excellent. With respect to the made-dishes, of which there was a great
variety, I beg to offer to the reader a formula I invented, which will
teach him (should he ever come to Germany) what to expect. The simple
rule is this:--let him taste the dish, and if it be not sour, he may
be quite certain that it is greasy;--again, if it be not greasy, let
him not eat thereof, for then it is sure to be sour. With regard to
the order of the dishes, that, too, is unlike any thing which Mrs.
Glasse ever thought of. After soup, which all over the world is the
alpha of the gourmand's alphabet, the barren meat from which the said
soup has been extracted is produced. Of course it is dry, tasteless,
withered-looking stuff, which a Grosvenor-square cat would not touch
with its whisker; but this dish is always attended by a couple of
satellites--the one a quantity of cucumbers dressed in vinegar, the
other a black, greasy sauce; and if you dare to accept a piece of this
flaccid beef, you are instantly thrown between Scylla and Charybdis;
for so sure as you decline the indigestible cucumber, souse comes into
your plate a deluge of the greasy sauce! After the company have eaten
heavily of messes which it would be impossible to describe, in comes
some nice salmon--then fowls--then puddings--then meat again--then
stewed fruit; and after the English stranger has fallen back in his
chair quite beaten, a leg of mutton majestically makes its appearance!
I dined just two days at the Saals, and then bade adieu to them for
ever. Nothing which this world affords could induce me to feed in this
gross manner. The pig, who lives in his sty, would have some excuse;
but it is really quite shocking to see any other animal overpowering
himself at mid-day with such a mixture and superabundance of food.
Yet only think what a compliment all this is to the mineral waters of
Langen-Schwalbach; for if people who come here and live in this way
morning, noon, and night can, as I really believe they do, return to
their homes in better health than they departed, how much more benefit
ought any one to derive, who, maintaining a life of simplicity and
temperance, would resolve to give them a fair trial! In short, if the
cold iron waters of the Pauline can be of real service to a stomach
full of vinegar and grease, how much more effectually ought they to
tinker up and repair the inside of him who has sense enough to sue them
_in formâ pauperis_.
Dr. Fenner was told that I had given up dining in public, as I
preferred a single dish at home; and he was then asked, with a
scrutinizing look, whether eating so much was not surely very bad for
those who were drinking the waters? The poor doctor quietly shrugged up
his shoulders,--silently looking at his shoes,--and what else could he
have done? Himself an inhabitant of Langen-Schwalbach, of course he was
obliged to feel the pulse of his own fellow-citizens, as well as that
of the stranger; and into what a fever would he have thrown all the
innkeepers--what a convulsion would he have occasioned in the village
itself--were he to have presumed to prescribe temperance to those
wealthy visiters by whose intemperance the community hoped to prosper!
He might as well have gone into the fields to burn the crops, as thus
wickedly to blight the golden harvest which Langen-Schwalbach had
calculated on reaping during the short visit of its consumptive guests.
Our dinner is now over; but I must not rise from the table of the Allee
Saal until I have made an '_amende honorable_' to those against whose
vile cooking I have been railing, for it is only common justice to
German society to offer an humble testimony that nothing can be more
creditable to any nation; one can scarcely imagine a more pleasing
picture of civilized life, than the mode in which society is conducted
at these watering-places.
The company which comes to the brunnens for health, and which
daily assembles at dinner, is of a most heterogeneous description,
being composed of Princes, Dukes, Barons, Counts, &c., down to the
petty shopkeeper, and even the Jew of Frankfort, Mainz, and other
neighbouring towns; in short, all the most jarring elements of society,
at the same moment, enter the same room, to partake together the same
one shilling and eight-penny dinner.
Even to a stranger like myself, it was easy to perceive that the
company, as they seated themselves round the table, had herded together
in parties and coteries, neither acquainted with each other, nor with
much disposition to be acquainted--still, all those invaluable forms
of society which connect the guests of any private individual were
most strictly observed; and, from the natural good sense and breeding
in the country this happy combination was apparently effected without
any effort. No one seemed to be under any restraint, yet there was
no freezing formality at one end of the table, nor rude boisterous
mirth at the other. With as honest good appetites as could belong to
any set of people under the sun, I particularly remarked that there
was no scrambling for favourite dishes;--to be sure, here and there,
an eye was seen twinkling a little brighter than usual, as it watched
the progress of any approaching dish which appeared to be unusually
sour or greasy, but there was no greediness--no impatience--nothing
which seemed for a single moment to interrupt the general harmony of
the scene; and, though I scarcely heard a syllable of the buzz of
conversation which surrounded me; although every moment I felt less and
less disposed to attempt to eat what for some time had gradually been
coagulating in my plate; yet, leaning back in my chair, I certainly did
derive very great pleasure, and I hope a very rational enjoyment, in
looking upon so pleasing a picture of civilized life.
In England we are too apt to designate, by the general term "society,"
the particular class, clan, or clique in which we ourselves may happen
to move, and if that little speck be sufficiently polished, people are
generally quite satisfied with what they term "the present state of
society;" yet there exists a very important difference between this
ideal civilization of a part or parts of a community, and the actual
civilization of the community as a whole: and surely no country can
justly claim for itself that title, until not only can its various
members move separately among each other, but until, if necessary, they
can all meet and act together. Now, if this assertion be admitted, I
fear it cannot be denied that we islanders are very far from being as
highly polished as our continental neighbours, and that we but too
often mistake odd provincial habits of our own invention, for the
broad, useful, current manners of the world.
In England, each class of society, like our different bands of trades,
is governed by its own particular rules. There is a class of society
which has very gravely, and for aught I care very properly, settled
that certain food is to be eaten with a fork--that others are to be
launched into the mouth with a spoon; and that to act against these
rules (or whims) shows "that the man has not lived in _the world_."
At the other end of society there are, one has heard, also rules of
honour, prescribing the sum to be put into a tin money-box, so often
as the pipe shall be filled with tobacco, with various other laws of
the same dark caste or complexion. These conventions, however, having
been firmly established among each of the many classes into which our
country people are subdivided, a very considerable degree of order is
everywhere maintained; and, therefore, let a foreigner go into any
sort of society in England, and he will find it is apparently living
in happy obedience to its own laws; but if any chance or convulsion
brings these various classes of society, each laden with its own laws,
into general contact, a sort of Babel confusion instantly takes place,
each class loudly calling its neighbour to order in a language it
cannot comprehend. Like the followers of different religions, the one
has been taught a creed which has not even been heard of by the other;
there is no sound bond of union--no reasonable understanding between
the parties: in short, they resemble a set of regiments, each of which
having been drilled according to the caprice or fancy of its colonel,
appears in very high order on its own parade, yet, when all are brought
together, form an unorganized and undisciplined army; and in support
of this theory, is it not undeniably true, that it is practically
impossible for all ranks of society to associate together in England
with the same ease and inoffensive freedom which characterizes similar
meetings on the Continent? And yet a German duke or a German baron is
as proud of his rank, and rank is as much respected in his country as
it is in our country.
There _must_, therefore, in England exist somewhere or other a
radical fault. The upper classes will of course lay the blame on the
lowest--the lowest will abuse the highest--but may not the error lie
between the two? Does it not rather rest upon both? and is it not
caused by the laws which regulate our small island society being odd,
unmeaning, imaginary, and often fictitious, instead of being stamped
with those large intelligible characters which make them at once
legible to all the inhabitants of the globe?
For instance, on the Continent, every child, almost before he learns
his alphabet, before he is able even to crack a whip, is taught what is
termed in Europe civility; a trifling example of which I witnessed this
very morning. At nearly a league from Langen-Schwalbach, I walked up to
a little boy who was flying a kite on the top of a hill, in the middle
of a field of oat stubble. I said not a word to the child--scarcely
looked at him--but as soon as I got close to him, the little village
clod, who had never breathed anything thicker than his own mountain
air, actually almost lost string, kite, and all, in an effort, quite
irresistible, which he made to bow to me, and take off his hat. Again,
in the middle of the forest, I saw the other day three labouring boys
laughing together, each of their mouths being, if possible, wider open
than the others; however, as they separated, off went their caps, and
they really took leave of each other in the very same sort of manner
with which I yesterday saw the Landgrave of Hesse Hombourg return a bow
to a common postilion.
It is this general, well founded, and acknowledged system which binds
together all classes of society. It is this useful, sensible system,
which enables the master of the Allee Saal, as he walks about the
room during dinner time, occasionally to converse with the various
descriptions of guests who have honoured his table with their presence;
for, however people in England would be shocked at such an idea, on the
Continent, so long as a person speaks and behaves correctly, he need
not fear to give any one offence.
Now, in England, as we all know, we have all sorts of manners, and
a man actually scarcely dares to say which is the true idol to
be worshipped. We have very noble aristocratic manners;--we have
the short, stumpy manners of the old-fashioned English country
gentleman;--we have thick, dandified manners;--blackstock military
manners;--"your free and easy manners" (which, by the by, on the
Continent, would be translated "_no manners at all_.") We have the
ledger manners of a steady man of business;--the last-imported monkey
or ultra-Parisian manners;--manners not only of a school-boy, but of
the particular school to which he belongs;--and, lastly, we have the
party-coloured manners of the mobility, who, until they were taught the
contrary, very falsely flattered themselves that on the throne they
would find the "ship, a-hoy!" manners of "a true British sailor."
Now, with respect to these motley manners, these "black spirits and
white, blue spirits and grey," which are about as different from
each other as the manners of the various beasts collected by Noah in
his ark, it may at once be observed, that (however we ourselves may
admire them) there are very few of them indeed which are suited to the
Continent; and consequently, though Russians, Prussians, Austrians,
French, and Italians, to a certain degree, can anywhere assimilate
together, yet, somehow or other, our manners--(never mind whether
better or worse)--are different. Which, therefore, I am seriously
disposed to ask of myself, are the most likely to be right? the manners
of "the right little, tight little island," or those of the inhabitants
of the vast Continent of Europe?
The reader will, I fear, think that my dinner reflections have partaken
of the acidity of the German mess which lay so long before me untouched
in my plate; and at my observations I fully expect he will shake his
head, as I did when, afterwards, expecting to get something sweet, I
found my mouth nearly filled with a substance very nearly related to
sour-crout. Should the old man's remarks be unpalatable, they are not
more so than was his meal; and he begs to apologize for them by saying,
that had he, as he much wished, been able to eat, he would not, against
his will, have been driven to reflect.