DISCRIMINATING DUTIES.
A poor laborer of Ohio had raised, with the greatest possible
care and attention, a nursery of vines, from which, after much labor,
he at last succeeded in producing a pipe of Catawba wine, and forgot,
in the joy of his success, that each drop of this precious nectar had
cost a drop of sweat to his brow.
"I will sell it," said he to his wife, "and with the proceeds I will
buy lace, which will serve you to make a present for our daughter."
The honest countryman, arriving in the city of Cincinnati, there met
an Englishman and a Yankee.
The Yankee said to him, "Give me your wine, and I in exchange will
give you fifteen bundles of Yankee lace."
The Englishman said, "Give it to me, and I will give you twenty
bundles of English lace, for we English can spin cheaper than the
Yankees."
But a custom-house officer standing by, said to the laborer, "My good
fellow, make your exchange, if you choose, with Brother Jonathan, but
it is my duty to prevent your doing so with the Englishman."
"What!" exclaimed the countryman, "you wish me to take fifteen bundles
of New England lace, when I can have twenty from Manchester!"
"Certainly," replied the custom-house officer; "do you not see that
the United States would be a loser if you were to receive twenty
bundles instead of fifteen?"
"I can scarcely understand this," said the laborer.
"Nor can I explain it," said the custom-house officer, "but there is
no doubt of the fact; for congressmen, ministers, and editors, all
agree that a people is impoverished in proportion as it receives a
large compensation for any given quantity of its produce."
The countryman was obliged to conclude his bargain with the Yankee.
His daughter received but three-fourths of her present; and these good
folks are still puzzling themselves to discover how it can happen that
people are ruined by receiving four instead of three; and why they are
richer with three dozen bundles of lace instead of four.