“Well,” says he, “there must be some reason for wanting to do them
dirt.”
“I want to be a great help to them,” says I, and he says, “Go East,
young man, and give them a chance.”
Pete wants me to get the job pretty bad, so he says, “Say, Sam, this
feller might make a lot for us on commission.”
The feller looks through some books, and then says:
“Maybe he can. Do you know any place where you can catch a lot of
rustlers all at once? Cow detectives don’t get a regular salary, you
understand. We pay a hundred dollars per head for all rustlers in good
condition.”
Hank, I never figured on hunting thieves on commission, but that’s the
way they work. Hundred per head ain’t so bad. Figuring two or three per
month, makes a fair salary, eh? You’re danged right she does.
“Well,” says I, “give me a star and a gun, and watch me land ’em.”
“You’ll have to buy a gun and a star from us,” says the feller. “I’ve
got a extra gun you can have for fifteen dollars.”
“I’ve got a second-hand star for six,” says Pete.
“Well,” says I, “it must be the North Star or the Evening Star to be
worth that much, and as far as the gun is concerned, at fifteen dollars,
I will use a club on them.”
Pete hunts up this star and hands it to me, and tells me it’s special.
It was a star, but there ain’t no writing on it at all, and I tells Pete
I’d be sort of a blank officer with a star like that.
“My gosh!” says he. “How far do you reckon you’d get with a star that
said ‘Detective’ on it? Detectives don’t want folks to know their
business. _Sabe?_”
Of course I knew that, Hank, but I didn’t want to mention it at first.
When you pins me right down to it I know quite a lot about mostly
anything you can mention, and I know lots of things that nobody ever
seen in a book by practical experience.
The feller shakes hands with me, and he says:
“The secret of being a detective is this: Buy a gun and a star, a ticket
to Brazil, and don’t monkey with other folks’ business.”
“Do you want to send me to Brazil?” I asks, but he says, “No, I reckon
not, because they’re exporting, not importing.”