THE NEED OF EARLY INSTRUCTION OF GIRLS
Dr. Charles W. Eliot, former president of Harvard University, recently
said:
"The subject of reproduction and sexual hygiene should be more generally
presented to young people by parents and teachers. I am convinced that
the policy of silence has failed disastrously."
That you may understand how widely spread is this desire on the part of
women for a better knowledge of themselves and of those things so
vitally important to the welfare of the future generation, I shall quote
a few extracts from letters I have received from women in various parts
of the country. These letters, too, will serve to show the woeful
ignorance along these lines among even the well educated women, and also
the need for some systematic instruction.
A very intelligent girl from South Dakota writes this heart story: "My
mother died when I was a babe. After her death I was sent out among
strangers. While away from home and before I was _six_ years old a young
fellow about fifteen years old possessed me and threatened to do
something terrible to me if I told. I did not dare tell. Luckily I was
taken home at that time, as I now had a step-mother. But still more
horrible, it also happened that I had immoral relations with my brother.
When I found out that this was the way people got babies, I wished I
could get one. I was not very old before I understood that this was a
wrong and a shame and acted accordingly. My parents never mentioned
things of this nature to me. How much better it would have been if they
had done so when we were real young. How many things were spoken of by
schoolmates and told in the dirtiest possible way and things also were
said that I now know were entirely wrong."
I cannot impress upon you too strongly the need of early talks with
young children on these matters. As soon as they enter school at the age
of six and even before this, in some cases, they are bound to hear these
things from their playmates. Usually the information is thrust upon the
child in a very vulgar manner, or entirely wrong impressions are given.
The very secrecy that always has surrounded these subjects makes them an
object of interest to children. The functions of the generative organs
are just as natural a process as the process of digestion. We make no
secret of the process of digestion, and children do not manifest any
morbid curiosity regarding it. If we would discuss the functions of the
generative organs in just as natural a way, many of our great problems
would right themselves.
A woman in one of the western states writes, "Once I had a heated
argument upon that subject with another woman. She always had lived in a
small community. In her opinion all city girls were morally depraved.
She had two daughters of her own. Both girls gave birth to babies at the
age of fourteen and sixteen years. It transpired later that these girls
first began the evil practice at school. And I will state here,
regardless of contradiction, that the village school is often the
breeder of immoral characters among both boys and girls.
"In a small farming community of California containing about forty
children of school age, it was discovered that immoral practices had
been carried on for years among the older children. One little girl,
being new to the school and also being in the habit of telling her
mother everything, repeated some of the sights she had seen during the
recess and noon hours, and also some of the conversation she had heard
among the children. The mother, being horrified at the child's
revelations and knowing the child must have some foundation for her
stories, told a friend about it. This woman told some of her friends who
were the mothers of the children the little girl had named to her
mother. Of course, the children were questioned and denied all knowledge
of things the child had mentioned. The mothers were indignant that their
children should be accused of anything like that. They unquestionably
believed the denial, making no effort to find out if there might be any
truth in the report. That mother and her little one were 'sent to
Coventry' with a vengeance. Later some of these mothers had cause to
repent of their carelessness in having neglected or disregarded the
warning. They found to their sorrow that the little girl was not telling
an untruth, after all.
"The trouble with the mother in the small community is that she judges
her children by her own past. She, perhaps, had an entirely different
environment from that of her children and because she came out all
right, naturally sees no use in bothering about talking to her girls.
'They will learn these things soon enough,' she says when the subject is
mentioned. That they either already have learned them or may be learning
them in a manner of which she would be the last to approve, she does not
take into consideration. An attempt to warn such a mother often is
misunderstood."
That young women realize their need and are anxious for any help is
shown by these letters. From New York a girl writes, "I am twenty-two
years of age and as yet know nothing about the mysteries of life, and I
am beginning to worry about it as I am keeping company with a young man
and expect to become engaged to him. I know nothing of what is expected
of me when I get married and I know there are a number of girls just
like me and that they are worried, too."
From a girl in Seattle came this letter, "No one ever told me about this
wonderful body of ours and that God made it in his likeness for his
glorification. When I asked where the babies came from, I was told the
doctor brought them in his case. One day I saw a boy and girl about
eight years of age doing wrong, and thought nothing of it when my
brother, who was fourteen while I was six, proposed that we do likewise.
This was kept up until I was somewhere between eleven and thirteen, when
I was converted and it occurred to me that this was not the right thing
to do, but I never dreamed that I would suffer so these ten years, as I
am twenty-three now. Only in the last few years I have learned how God
made these organs for the marriage relation only and how life was
formed. I would go to my mother for this information but I know it would
break her heart and I am afraid she could not tell me what I want to
know. I would not write this but I am deeply in love with a Christian
man, and I could not marry anyone until I know about this matter. I
often have made a vow I never would marry anyone, but this love came to
me before I could help myself, and as he told me of his love I would not
allow myself to let him know I care as much as I do. Kindly tell me if
anyone who has abused her organs while so young could make a good wife
or become a mother, and can these marks of sin be removed?"
Another young girl writes, "It is just as you say, ignorance is the root
of evil in many cases such as mine. I have come to you for help,
information and advice. I have taken that fatal mis-step you write
about, but no one knows it besides myself and this man. He dare not
speak of this. He is very wealthy and influential. After reading your
article I found that you were the one to go to and make a confession. I
never have been warned or told of these dangers and now it is too late.
I am a young girl, eighteen years old, and have a lot of men friends
because I am considered attractive, but none of them have ever said one
word out of the way to me except this one and I yielded to the tempter.
I know I have done wrong, and now am trying to atone for it by being
awfully good. Now, what I want to know and want you to tell me is this,
'Can I ever marry a decent, respectable man without him knowing of this
affair?' There is a young man very much devoted to me (and I can assure
you it is mutual) who several times has asked me to marry him. I am
afraid to give him an answer. I cannot ask anyone else this question for
the simple reason that I am not sure whether they will tell me the truth
or whether they really know."
Both these girls were fortunate that they did not have any serious
consequences from their mis-step. Too many girls make only one mis-step
and as a result become pregnant or else contract one of the black
plagues. This week I have received several such letters. Laying aside
all moral points, it is too much risk for any girl to run.
Unfortunately a great many girls in their ignorance do make a mis-step.
That is no reason why they should not marry. We must take into
consideration the fact that the young man in question probably has made
several of these mis-steps. He should not expect his prospective wife to
be any stronger to resist temptation than he has been. If this were an
ideal world, all men, as well as all women, would be pure, but until the
millennium comes we must take things as they are, and proceed from that
standpoint. But because a girl has erred through ignorance is no reason
why she should be doomed to everlasting punishment in the shape of
social ostracism or being denied the happiness of having a home and
children.
These are only a few of the many letters I have received, but they serve
to show the great need of early instruction of girls on these much
neglected subjects. Every girl, soon after she enters school if not
before, learns where babies come from. She too often is led by older
children, both boys and girls, to do things she may regret later. It has
been said that "sin is but ignorance." This is true in the great
majority of cases of immoral practices among girls as well as among
boys. The remedy for these sins, then, is to do away with the ignorance
by proper instruction of children. Children are reasonable beings and if
they understood the _why_ would not do wrong.
If girls go wrong through ignorance the parents are to blame; for at the
present time there is no excuse for a parent not giving the necessary
instruction. If, on account of her own lack of knowledge, the mother
feels incapable of instructing her daughter, there are others ready and
willing to aid her; also, there are books especially prepared for her
help, which will definitely point the way.