so beautiful as those they draw of nymphs in their pastoral dresses
and exercises. Virgil gives Venus the habit of a Spartan huntress
when she is to put Æneas in his way, and relieve his cares with the
most agreeable object imaginable.[178] Diana and her train are always
described as inhabitants of the woods, and followers of the chase. To
be well diverted, is the safest guard to innocence; and, methinks,
it should be one of the first things to be regarded among people of
condition to find out proper amusements for young ladies. I cannot but
think this of riding might easily be revived among them, when they
consider how much it must contribute to their beauty. This would lay up
the best portion they could bring into a family, a good stock of health
to transmit to their posterity. Such a charming bloom as this gives the
countenance, is very much preferable to the real or affected feebleness
or softness which appear in the faces of our modern beauties.
The comedy called "The Ladies' Cure,"[179] represents the affectation
of wan looks and languid glances to a very entertaining extravagance.
There is, as the lady in the play complains, something so robust in
perfect health, that it is with her a point of breeding and delicacy to
appear in public with a sickly air. But the natural gaiety and spirit
which shine in the complexion of such as form to themselves a sort of
diverting industry by choosing recreations that are exercises, surpass
all the false ornaments and graces that can be put on by applying the
whole dispensary of a toilet. A healthy body and a cheerful mind give
charms as irresistible as inimitable. The beauteous Dyctinna, who came
to town last week, has, from the constant prospect in a delicious
country, and the moderate exercise and journeys in the visits she
made round it, contracted a certain life in her countenance which will
in vain employ both the painters and poets to represent. The becoming
negligence in her dress, the severe sweetness of her looks, and a
certain innocent boldness in all her behaviour, are the effect of the
active recreations I am talking of.
But instead of such or any other as innocent and pleasing method of
passing away their time with alacrity, we have many in town who spend
their hours in an indolent state of body and mind, without either
recreations or reflections. I am apt to believe, there are some parents
imagine their daughters will be accomplished enough, if nothing
interrupts their growth or their shape. According to this method of
education, I could name you twenty families, where all the girls hear
of in this life is, that it is time to rise and to come to dinner; as
if they were so insignificant as to be wholly provided for when they
are fed and clothed.
It is with great indignation that I see such crowds of the female world
lost to human society, and condemned to a laziness which makes life
pass away with less relish than in the hardest labour. Palestris, in
her drawing-room, is supported by spirits to keep off the returns of
spleen and melancholy, before she can get over half the day for want of
something to do, while the wench in the kitchen sings and scours from
morning to night.
The next disagreeable thing to a lazy lady is a very busy one. A man
of business in good company, who gives an account of his abilities and
despatches, is hardly more insupportable than her they call a notable
woman and a manager. Lady Goodday, where I visited the other day at
a very polite circle, entertained a great lady with a recipe for a
poultice, and gave us to understand, that she had done extraordinary
cures since she was last in town. It seems a countryman had wounded
himself with his scythe as he was mowing; and we were obliged to hear
of her charity, her medicine, and her humility, in the harshest tone
and coarsest language imaginable.
What I would request in all this prattle is, that our females would
either let us have their persons or their minds in such perfection as
nature designed them.
The way to this is, that those who are in the quality of gentlewomen
should propose to themselves some suitable method of passing away
their time. This would furnish them with reflections and sentiments
proper for the companions of reasonable men, and prevent the unnatural
marriages which happen every day between the most accomplished women
and the veriest oafs, the worthiest men and the most insignificant
females. Were the general turn of women's education of another kind
than it is at present, we should want one another for more reasons than
we do as the world now goes. The common design of parents is to get
their girls off as well as they can, and make no conscience of putting
into our hands a bargain for our whole life which will make our hearts
ache every day of it.
I shall therefore take this matter into serious consideration, and
will propose, for the better improvement of the fair sex, a female
library.[180] This collection of books shall consist of such authors
as do not corrupt while they divert, but shall tend more immediately
to improve them, as they are women. They shall be such as shall not
hurt a feature by the austerity of their reflections, nor cause one
impertinent glance by the wantonness of them. They shall all tend
to advance the value of their innocence as virgins, improve their
understanding as wives, and regulate their tenderness as parents.
It has been very often said in these Lucubrations, that the ideas
which most frequently pass through our imaginations, leave traces of
themselves in our countenances. There shall be a strict regard had to
this in my female library, which shall be furnished with nothing that
shall give supplies to ostentation or impertinence; but the whole shall
be so digested for the use of my students, that they shall not go out
of character in their inquiries, but their knowledge appear only a
cultivated innocence.
FOOTNOTES:
[177] This lady is believed to have been the unfortunate Elizabeth
Malyn, whose third husband was Charles, eighth Lord Cathcart. Her
fourth husband was Colonel Hugh Macguire, who kept her in confinement
for more than twenty years at Tempo, in Enniskillen. (See Miss
Edgeworth's "Castle Rackrent"; and a pamphlet entitled "Tewin-Water;
or, the Story of Lady Cathcart," by Mr. Edward Ford, of Old Park,
Enfield.)
[178] "Æneid," i. 315 _seq._
[179] "The Double Gallant; or, the Sick Lady's Cure," by Colley Cibber
(1707).
[180] Addison wrote on this subject in the _Spectator_ (No. 37); and
in 1714 Steele published "The Ladies' Library," in three volumes, a
gathering from the most approved religious and moral writers.
=No. 249.= [ADDISON.
From _Thursday, Nov. 9_, to _Saturday, Nov. 11, 1710_.
Per varios casus, per tot discrimina rerum,
Tendimus----
VIRG., Æn. i. 204.
_From my own Apartment, Nov. 10._
I was last night visited by a friend[181] of mine who has an
inexhaustible fund of discourse, and never fails to entertain his
company with a variety of thoughts and hints that are altogether new
and uncommon. Whether it were in complaisance to my way of living, or
his real opinion, he advanced the following paradox, that it required
much greater talents to fill up and become a retired life than a life
of business. Upon this occasion he rallied very agreeably the busy men
of the age, who only valued themselves for being in motion, and passing
through a series of trifling and insignificant actions. In the heat of
his discourse, seeing a piece of money lying on my table, "I defy,"
says he, "any of these active persons to produce half the adventures
that this twelvepenny-piece has been engaged in, were it possible for
him to give us an account of his life."
My friend's talk made so odd an impression upon my mind, that soon
after I was a-bed I fell insensibly into a most unaccountable reverie,
that had neither moral nor design in it, and cannot be so properly
called a dream as a delirium.
Methought the shilling that lay upon the table reared itself upon its
edge, and turning the face towards me, opened its mouth, and in a soft
silver sound gave me the following account of his life and adventures:
"I was born," says he, "on the side of a mountain, near a little
village of Peru, and made a voyage to England in an ingot, under the
convoy of Sir Francis Drake. I was, soon after my arrival, taken out
of my Indian habit, refined, naturalised, and put into the British
mode, with the face of Queen Elizabeth on one side, and the arms of the
country on the other. Being thus equipped, I found in me a wonderful
inclination to ramble, and visit all the parts of the new world
into which I was brought. The people very much favoured my natural
disposition, and shifted me so fast from hand to hand, that before I
was five years old, I had travelled into almost every corner of the
nation. But in the beginning of my sixth year, to my unspeakable grief,
I fell into the hands of a miserable old fellow, who clapped me into
an iron chest, where I found five hundred more of my own quality who
lay under the same confinement. The only relief we had, was to be taken
out and counted over in the fresh air every morning and evening. After
an imprisonment of several years, we heard somebody knocking at our
chest, and breaking it open with a hammer. This we found was the old
man's heir, who, as his father lay a-dying, was so good as to come to
our release: he separated us that very day. What was the fate of my
companions, I know not: as for myself, I was sent to the apothecary's
shop for a pint of sack. The apothecary gave me to a herb-woman, the
herb-woman to a butcher, the butcher to a brewer, and the brewer to
his wife, who made a present of me to a Nonconformist preacher. After
this manner I made my way merrily through the world; for, as I told you
before, we shillings love nothing so much as travelling. I sometimes
fetched in a shoulder of mutton, sometimes a play-book, and often had
the satisfaction to treat a Templar at a twelvepenny ordinary, or carry
him with three friends to Westminster Hall.
"In the midst of this pleasant progress which I made from place to
place, I was arrested by a superstitious old woman, who shut me up in
a greasy purse, in pursuance of a foolish saying, that while she kept
a Queen Elizabeth's shilling about her, she should never be without
money. I continued here a close prisoner for many months, till at last
I was exchanged for eight-and-forty farthings.
"I thus rambled from pocket to pocket till the beginning of the Civil
Wars, when, to my shame be it spoken, I was employed in raising
soldiers against the King; for being of a very tempting breadth, a
sergeant made use of me to inveigle country fellows, and list them in
the service of the Parliament.
"As soon as he had made one man sure, his way was to oblige him to
take a shilling of a more homely figure, and then practise the same
trick upon another. Thus I continued doing great mischief to the Crown,
till my officer chancing one morning to walk abroad earlier than
ordinary, sacrificed me to his pleasures, and made use of me to seduce
a milkmaid. This wench bent me, and gave me to her sweetheart, applying
more properly than she intended the usual form of, 'To my love and from
my love.' This ungenerous gallant marrying her within few days after,
pawned me for a dram of brandy, and drinking me out next day, I was
beaten flat with a hammer, and again set a-running.
"After many adventures, which it would be tedious to relate, I was
sent to a young spendthrift, in company with the will of his deceased
father. The young fellow, who I found was very extravagant, gave great
demonstrations of joy at the receiving the will; but opening it, he
found himself disinherited and cut off from the possession of a fair
estate, by virtue of my being made a present to him. This put him into
such a passion, that after having taken me in his hand, and cursed
me, he squirred[182] me away from him as far as he could fling me. I
chanced to light in an unfrequented place under a dead wall, where I
lay undiscovered and useless during the usurpation of Oliver Cromwell.
"About a year after the King's return, a poor cavalier that was walking
there about dinner-time fortunately cast his eye upon me, and, to the
great joy of us both, carried me to a cook's-shop, where he dined upon
me, and drank the King's health. When I came again into the world,
I found that I had been happier in my retirement than I thought,
having probably by that means escaped wearing a monstrous pair of
breeches.[183]
"Being now of great credit and antiquity, I was rather looked upon as a
medal than an ordinary coin; for which reason a gamester laid hold of
me, and converted me to a counter, having got together some dozens of
us for that use. We led a melancholy life in his possession, being busy
at those hours wherein current coin is at rest, and partaking the fate
of our master, being in a few moments valued at a crown, a pound, or a
sixpence, according to the situation in which the fortune of the cards
placed us. I had at length the good luck to see my master break, by
which means I was again sent abroad under my primitive denomination of
a shilling.
"I shall pass over many other accidents of less moment, and hasten to
that fatal catastrophe when I fell into the hands of an artist, who
conveyed me under ground, and with an unmerciful pair of shears cut
off my titles, clipped my brims, retrenched my shape, rubbed me to my
inmost ring, and, in short, so spoiled and pillaged me, that he did not
leave me worth a groat. You may think what a confusion I was in to see
myself thus curtailed and disfigured. I should have been ashamed to
have shown my head, had not all my old acquaintance been reduced to the
same shameful figure, excepting some few that were punched through the
belly. In the midst of this general calamity, when everybody thought
our misfortune irretrievable, and our case desperate, we were thrown
into the furnace together, and (as it often happens with cities rising
out of a fire) appeared with greater beauty and lustre than we could
ever boast of before. What has happened to me since the change of
sex which you now see, I shall take some other opportunity to relate.
In the meantime I shall only repeat two adventures, as being very
extraordinary, and neither of them having ever happened to me above
once in my life. The first was, my being in a poet's pocket, who was so
taken with the brightness and novelty of my appearance, that it gave
occasion to the finest burlesque poem in the British language, entitled
from me, 'The Splendid Shilling.'[184] The second adventure, which I
must not omit, happened to me in the year 1703, when I was given away
in charity to a blind man; but indeed this was by a mistake, the person
who gave me having heedlessly thrown me into the hat among a pennyworth
of farthings."
FOOTNOTES:
[181] Swift. This paper is mentioned twice in the "Journal to Stella,"
Nov. 30 and Dec. 14, 1710: "You are mistaken in all your conjectures
about the _Tatlers_. I have given him one or two hints, and you
have heard me talk about 'The Shilling.'" "No, the _Tatler_ of 'The
Shilling' was not mine, more than the hint, and two or three general
heads for it. I have much more important business on my hands; and,
besides, the ministry hate to think that I should help him, and have
made reproaches on it; and I frankly told them I would do it no more.
This is a secret, though, Madam Stella."
[182] Threw with a jerk. Cf. _Spectator_, No. 77, "I saw him squir away
his watch a considerable way into the Thames."
[183] The two shields on Cromwell's shilling; see No. 245.
[184] By John Philips (1676-1709), the author of "Cyder." The "Splendid
Shilling" was published in 1705, after two unauthorised versions had
appeared. Written in imitation of Milton, it describes, in mock-heroic
strains, the miseries of a debtor in want of a shilling to buy food,
clothes, wine, or tobacco.
=No. 250.= [ADDISON.
From _Saturday, Nov. 11_, to _Tuesday, Nov. 14, 1710_.
Scis etenim justum gemina suspendere lance
Ancipitis libræ.----
PERS., Sat. iv. 10.
_From my own Apartment, Nov. 13._
I last winter erected a Court of Justice for the correcting of several
enormities in dress and behaviour, which are not cognisable in any
other courts of this realm. The vintner's case[185] which I there tried
is still fresh in every man's memory. That of the petticoat[186] gave
also a general satisfaction, not to mention the more important points
of the cane and perspective;[187] in which, if I did not give judgments
and decrees according to the strictest rules of equity and justice,
I can safely say, I acted according to the best of my understanding.
But as for the proceedings of that court, I shall refer my reader
to an account of them, written by my secretary, which is now in the
press, and will shortly be published under the title of "Lillie's[188]
Reports."
As I last year presided over a Court of Justice, it is my intention
this year to set myself at the head of a Court of Honour. There is no
court of this nature anywhere at present, except in France, where,
according to the best of my intelligence, it consists of such only as
are marshals of that kingdom. I am likewise informed, that there is not
one of that honourable board at present who has not been driven out
of the field by the Duke of Marlborough; but whether this be only an
accidental or a necessary qualification, I must confess I am not able
to determine.
As for the Court of Honour of which I am here speaking, I intend to sit
myself in it as president, with several men of honour on my right hand,
and women of virtue on my left, as my assistants. The first place of
the bench I have given to an old Tangerine captain with a wooden leg.
The second is a gentleman of a long twisted periwig without a curl in
it, a muff with very little hair upon it, and a threadbare coat with
new buttons, being a person of great worth, and second brother to a
man of quality. The third is a gentleman-usher, extremely well read in
romances, and grandson to one of the greatest wits in Germany, who was
some time master of the ceremonies to the Duke of Wolfembuttel.
As for those who sit farther on my right hand, as it is usual in
public courts, they are such as will fill up the number of faces upon
the bench, and serve rather for ornament than use.[189]
The chief upon my left hand are, an old maiden lady, that preserves
some of the best blood of England in her veins.
A Welsh woman of a little stature, but high spirit.
An old prude that has censured every marriage for these thirty years,
and is lately wedded to a young rake.
Having thus furnished my bench, I shall establish correspondencies with
the Horse Guards, and the veterans of Chelsea College; the former to
furnish me with twelve men of honour as often as I shall have occasion
for a grand jury, and the latter with as many good men and true for a
petty jury.
As for the women of virtue, it will not be difficult for me to find
them about midnight at crimp and basset.
Having given this public notice of my court, I must further add, that
I intend to open it on this day sevennight, being Monday the twentieth
instant; and do hereby invite all such as have suffered injuries and
affronts that are not to be redressed by the common laws of this land,
whether they be short bows, cold salutations, supercilious looks,
unreturned smiles, distant behaviour, or forced familiarity; as also
all such as have been aggrieved by any ambiguous expression, accidental
jostle, or unkind repartee; likewise all such as have been defrauded
of their right to the wall, tricked out of the upper end of the table,
or have been suffered to place themselves in their own wrong on the
back seat of the coach: these, and all of these, I do, as I above said,
invite to bring in their several cases and complaints, in which they
shall be relieved with all imaginable expedition.
I am very sensible, that the office I have now taken upon me will
engage me in the disquisition of many weighty points that daily perplex
the youth of the British nation, and therefore I have already discussed
several of them for my future use; as, How far a man may brandish his
cane in the telling a story, without insulting his hearer? What degree
of contradiction amounts to the lie? How a man should resent another's
staring and cocking a hat in his face? If asking pardon is an atonement
for treading upon one's toes? Whether a man may put up [with] a box
on the ear received from a stranger in the dark? Or, Whether a man of
honour may take a blow off his wife? With several other subtleties of
the like nature.
For my direction in the duties of my office, I have furnished myself
with a certain astrological pair of scales which I have contrived
for this purpose. In one of them I lay the injuries, in the other
the reparations. The first are represented by little weights made of
a metal resembling iron, and the other in gold. These are not only
lighter than the weights made use of in avoirdupois, but also than such
as are used in troy weight. The heaviest of those that represent the
injuries amount but to a scruple; and decrease by so many subdivisions,
that there are several imperceptible weights which cannot be seen
without the help of a very fine microscope. I might acquaint my reader,
that these scales were made under the influence of the sun when he was
in Libra, and describe many signatures on the weights both of injury
and reparation: but as this would look rather to proceed from an
ostentation of my own art than any care for the public, I shall pass it
over in silence.
* * * * *
The letter of the 7th instant, inquired for by another of the 11th,
came to hand.
FOOTNOTES:
[185] See No. 132.
[186] See No. 116.
[187] See No. 103.
[188] Charles Lillie; see No. 110.
[189] The Masters in Chancery sat on the bench with the Lord
Chancellor, but he was the sole judge of the court.
=No. 251.= [STEELE.
From _Tuesday, Nov. 14_, to _Thursday, Nov. 16, 1710_.
Quisnam igitur liber? Sapiens, sibi qui imperiosus,
Quem neque pauperies, neque mors, neque vincula, terrent:
Responsare cupidinibus, contemnere honores
Fortis, et in se ipso totus, teres atque rotundus,
Externi ne quid valeat per leve morari;
In quem manca ruit semper fortuna.----
HOR., 2 Sat. vii. 83.
_From my own Apartment, Nov. 15._
It is necessary to an easy and happy life, to possess our minds in such
a manner as to be always well satisfied with our own reflections. The
way to this state is to measure our actions by our own opinion, and
not by that of the rest of the world. The sense of other men ought to
prevail over us in things of less consideration, but not in concerns
where truth and honour are engaged. When we look into the bottom of
things, what at first appears a paradox is a plain truth; and those
possessions which, for want of being duly weighed, seem to proceed from
a sort of romantic philosophy, and ignorance of the world, after a
little reflection are so reasonable, that it is direct madness to walk
by any other rules. Thus to contradict our desires, and to conquer the
impulses of our ambition, if they do not fall in with what we in our
inward sentiments approve, is so much our interest, and so absolutely
necessary to our real happiness, that to contemn all the wealth and
power in the world, where they stand in competition with a man's
honour, is rather good sense than greatness of mind.