(_From a Newspaper of the Future._)
Many years ago, in 1895, our esteemed contemporary, the _Daily
Graphic_, suggested the appointment of a Minister of Fine Arts. This
seemingly admirable scheme was soon after carried out. The first
Minister was a cautious man. His one great improvement, which met with
universal approval, was to remove all the statues and fountains from
every part of London, and to place them in a row on Romney Marsh, from
Dungeness to Hythe, where they would undoubtedly scare away any French
army endeavouring to land. The second Minister tried to introduce the
so-called "Queen Anne," or Dutch architecture, and prepared a scheme
for altering the whole of London. As a beginning, the north side
of Oxford Street, from Holborn to the Marble Arch, was completely
transformed. Along the whole distance stretched a fantastic row of
red-brick buildings, the surface of which was diversified at every
possible point by useless little windows, and little arches, and
little projections, and little recesses, and little balustrades.
These had risen to the level of the second floors, when a change
of Government brought in a Minister who believed only in English
architecture of the fifteenth century. Under his directions the new
buildings were therefore continued in stone, in imitation of the
Houses of Parliament, but the work was stopped by his death. His
successor, though of course one of the Gothic party, preferred the
Gothic architecture of Italy, and the upper parts of the houses were
therefore finished in that style. As at that time the reduction of
the Budget was urgently needed, it was decided to use painted stucco
instead of real marble, as in Italy.
When the next Government came into office all the houses on the South
side of Oxford Street were pulled down, and everyone said that at
last we should have an imposing row of buildings. Unfortunately a
difficulty arose. The new Minister of Fine Arts was only interested in
gardening, and hardly knew one style of architecture from another. He
could not therefore decide the great question whether the new houses
should correspond with the opposite ones, and, if so, whether they
should be "Queen Anne," or Italian Gothic, or English Perpendicular in
style. The controversy raged for months. Every person interested said,
or wrote, what he thought, or knew, or did not think, or did not know,
about architecture, and taste, and art in general. The Academy of
Arts, the Society of Antiquaries, and the Institute of Architects,
hitherto sedate bodies, became so excited that free fights occurred
almost daily in the neighbourhood of Burlington House, and on the
waste land in Oxford Street. In every newspaper "The Improvement
of Oxford Street" was discussed vigorously. Suddenly the current of
public opinion was turned in another direction by a lamentable event.
The Minister of Fine Arts, returning from his weekly inspection of the
maiden-hair ferns on Wormwood Scrubs, was killed in a cab accident in
Vigo Street, a miserably narrow turning, which had escaped the notice
of everyone but the cabmen, who always prefer the narrowest streets.
At once there arose a universal cry that safety and space were more
important than style. The new Minister was beginning to widen some of
the narrow thoroughfares, when his party went out of office. The work
has not been continued by the present Minister, who is considering a
scheme for the improvement of London by the erection of fountains
and statues. Meanwhile the Oxford Street site is still vacant, and
no improvements are attempted elsewhere. Half of Vigo Street has been
made the same width as Burlington Gardens; the other half remains, as
before, about fifteen feet across from house to house.
Our esteemed contemporary, the _Daily Graphic_, always alive to the
artistic needs of the age, remarks that it is impossible to regulate
art by Acts of Parliament, or to improve London by party government,
and therefore suggests that the Ministry of Fine Arts should be
abolished.
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