restored, and once more longed to be out of my father's house, though
with reasons far different from those on the first time. The pretty
chambers and spots where I had suffered so much had become disagreeable
to me, and with my father himself there could be no pleasant relation.
I could not quite pardon him for having manifested more impatience
than was reasonable at the relapse of my disease, and at my tedious
recovery; nay, for having, instead of comforting me by forbearance,
frequently expressed himself in a cruel manner, about that which lay in
no man's hand, as if it depended only on the will. And he, too, was in
various ways hurt and offended by me.
For young people bring back from the university general ideas, which,
indeed, is quite right and good; but because they fancy themselves very
wise in this, they apply them as a standard to the objects that occur,
which must then, for the most part, lose by the comparison. Thus I had
gained a general notion of architecture, and of the arrangement and
decoration of houses, and imprudently, in conversation, had applied
this to our own house. My father had designed the whole arrangement
of it, and carried through the building with great perseverance, and,
considering that it was to be exclusively a residence for himself
and his family, nothing could be objected to it; in this taste, also,
very many of the houses in Frankfort were built. An open staircase
ran up through the house, and touched upon large ante-rooms, which
might very well have been chambers themselves, as, indeed, we always
passed the tine season in them. But this pleasant, cheerful existence
for a single family--this communication from above to below--became
the greatest inconvenience as soon as several parties occupied the
house, as we had but too well experienced on the occasion of the
French quartering. For that painful scene with the king's lieutenant
would not have happened, nay, my father would even have felt all those
disagreeable matters less, if, after the Leipzig fashion, our staircase
had run close along the side of the house, and a separate door had been
given to each story. This style of building I once praised highly for
its advantages, and showed my father the possibility of altering his
staircase also; whereupon he fell into an incredible passion, which was
the more violent as, a short time before, I had found fault with some
scrolled looking-glass frames, and rejected certain Chinese hangings.
A scene ensued, which, indeed, was again hushed up and smothered, but
it hastened my journey to the beautiful Alsace, which I accomplished
in the newly-contrived comfortable diligence, without delay, and in a
short time.
I alighted at the Ghost (_Geist_) tavern, and hastened at once to
satisfy my most earnest desire and to approach the minster, which
had long since been pointed out to me by fellow-travellers, and had
been before my eyes for a great distance. When I first perceived this
Colossus through the narrow lanes, and then stood too near before it,
in the truly confined little square, it made upon me an impression
quite of its own kind, which I, being unable to analyse it on the spot,
carried with me only indistinctly for this time, as I hastily ascended
the building, so as not to neglect the beautiful moment of a high and
cheerful sun, which was to disclose to me at once the broad, rich land.
[Side-note: Arrival at Strasburg.]
And now, from the platform, I saw before me the beautiful region in
which I should for a long time live and reside: the handsome city,
the wide-spreading meadows around it, thickly set and interwoven with
magnificent trees, that striking richness of vegetation which follows
in the windings of the Rhine, marks its banks, islands, and aits. Nor
is the level ground, stretching down from the south, and watered by
the Iller, less adorned with varied green. Even westward, towards the
mountains, there are many low grounds which afford quite as charming
a view of wood and meadow-growth, just as the northern and more hilly
part is intersected by innumerable little brooks, which promote a
rapid vegetation everywhere. If one imagines, between these luxuriant
outstretched meads, between these joyously scattered groves, all land
adapted for tillage, excellently prepared, verdant, and ripening,
and the best and richest spots marked by hamlets and farm-houses,
and this great and immeasurable plain, prepared for roan, like a new
paradise, bounded far and near by mountains partly cultivated, partly
overgrown with woods; one will then conceive the rapture with which I
blessed my fate, that it had destined me, for some time, so beautiful a
dwelling-place.
Such a fresh glance into a new land in which we are to abide for a
time, has still the peculiarity, both pleasant and foreboding, that the
whole lies before us like an unwritten tablet. As yet no sorrows and
joys which relate to ourselves are recorded upon it; this cheerful,
varied, animated plain is still mute for us; the eye is only fixed on
the objects so far as they are intrinsically important, and neither
affection nor passion have especially to render prominent this or that
spot. But a presentiment of the future already disquiets the young
heart, and an unsatisfied craving secretly demands that which is to
come and may come, and which, at all events, whether for good or ill,
will imperceptibly assume the character of the spot in which we find
ourselves.
Descended from the height, I still tarried awhile before the face of
the venerable pile; but what I could not quite clearly make out, either
the first or the following time, was that I regarded this miracle as a
monster, which must have terrified me, if it had not, at the same time,
appeared to me comprehensible by its regularity, and even pleasing in
its finish. Yet I by no means busied myself with meditating on this
contradiction, but suffered a monument so astonishing quietly to work
upon me by its presence.
[Side-note: Meyer.]
I took small, but well-situated and pleasant lodgings, on the summer
side of the Fish-market, a fine long street, where the everlasting
motion came to the assistance of every unoccupied moment. I then
delivered my letters of introduction, and found among my patrons a
merchant who, with his family, was devoted to those pious opinions
sufficiently known to me, although, as far as regarded external
worship, he had not separated from the Church. He was a man of
intelligence withal, and by no means hypocritical in his actions. The
company of boarders which was recommended to me, and, indeed, I to
it, was very agreeable and entertaining. A couple of old maids had
long kept up this boarding-house with regularity and good success;
there might have been about ten persons, older and younger. Of these
latter, one named MEYER, a native of Lindau, is most vividly present
to me. From his form and face he might have been considered one of the
handsomest of men, if, at the same time, he had not had something of
the sloven in his whole appearance. In like manner his splendid natural
talents were deformed by an incredible levity, and his excellent temper
by an unbounded dissoluteness. He had an open, joyous face, more round
than oval; the organs of the senses, the eyes, nose, mouth, and ears,
could be called rich; they showed a decided fulness, without being too
large. The mouth was particularly charming, from the curling lips,
and his whole physiognomy had the peculiar expression of a rake, from
the circumstance that his eyebrows met across his nose, which, in a
handsome face, always produces a pleasant expression of sensuality. By
his jovialness, sincerity, and good-nature, he made himself beloved
by all. His memory was incredible; attention at the lectures cost him
nothing; he retained all that he heard, and was intellectual enough to
take some interest in everything, and this the more easily, as he was
studying medicine. All impressions remained lively with him, and his
waggery in repeating the lectures and mimicking the professors often
went so far, that when he had heard three different lectures in one
morning, he would, at the dinner-table, interchange the professors
with each other, paragraphwise, and often even more abruptly, which
parti-coloured lecture frequently entertained us, but often, too,
became troublesome.
The rest were more or less polite, steady, serious people. A pensioned
knight of the order of St. Louis was one of these; but the majority
were students, all really good and well-disposed, only they were not
allowed to go beyond their usual allowance of wine. That this should
not be easily done was the care of our president, one Doctor SALZMANN.
Already in the sixties and unmarried, he had attended this dinner-table
for many years, and maintained its good order and respectability. He
possessed a handsome property, kept himself close and neat in his
exterior, even belonging to those who always go in shoes and stockings,
and with their hat under their arm. To put on the hat, was with him
an extraordinary action. He commonly carried an umbrella, wisely
reflecting that the finest summer-days often bring thunderstorms and
passing showers over the country.
With this man I talked over my design of continuing to study
jurisprudence at Strasburg, so as to be able to take my degree as soon
as possible. Since he was exactly informed of everything, I asked
him about the lectures I should have to hear, and what he generally
thought of the matter. To this he replied, that it was not in Strasburg
as in the German universities, where they try to educate jurists in
the large and learned sense of the term. Here, in conformity with the
relation towards France, all was really directed to the practical, and
managed in accordance with the opinions of the French, who readily
stop at what is given. They tried to impart to every one certain
general principles and preliminary knowledge, they compressed as much
as possible, and communicated only what was most necessary. Hereupon
he made me acquainted with a man, in whom, as a _Repetent_,[1] great
confidence was entertained; which he very soon managed to gain from me
also. By way of introduction, I began to speak with him on subjects
of jurisprudence, and he wondered not a little at my swaggering; for
during my residence at Leipzig, I had gained more of an insight into
the requisites for the law than I have hitherto taken occasion to state
in my narrative, though all I had acquired could only be reckoned as a
general encyclopedical survey, and not as proper definite knowledge.
University life, even if in the course of it we may not have to boast
of our own proper industry, nevertheless affords endless advantages in
every kind of cultivation, because we are always surrounded by men who
either possess or are seeking science, so that, even if unconsciously,
we are constantly drawing some nourishment from such an atmosphere.
[Side-note: Taste for Medical Studies.]
My repetent, after he had had patience with my rambling discourse for
some time, gave me at last to understand that I must first of all
keep my immediate object in view, which was, to be examined, to take
my degree, and then, perchance, to commence practice. "In order to
stand the first," said he, "the subject is by no means investigated
at large. It is inquired how and when a law arose, and what gave the
internal or external occasion for it; there is no inquiry as to how
it has been altered by time and custom, or how far it has perhaps
been perverted by false interpretation or the perverted usage of the
courts. It is in such investigations that learned men quite peculiarly
spend their lives; but we inquire after that which exists at present,
this we stamp firmly on our memory, that it may always be ready when
we wish to employ it for the use and defence of our clients. Thus we
qualify our young people for their future life, and the rest follows in
proportion to their talents and activity." Hereupon he handed me his
pamphlets, which were written in question and answer, and in which I
could have stood a pretty good examination at once, for Hopp's smaller
law-catechism was yet perfectly in my memory; the rest I supplied with
some diligence, and, against my will, qualified myself in the easiest
manner as a candidate.
But since in this way all my own activity in the study was cut
off,--for I had no sense for anything positive, but wished to have
everything explained historically, if not intelligibly--I found for my
powers a wider field, which I employed in the most singular manner by
devoting myself to a matter of interest which was accidently presented
to me from without.
Most of my fellow-boarders were medical students. These, as is well
known, are the only students who zealously converse about their
science and profession even out of the hours of study. This lies in
the nature of the case. The objects of their endeavours are the most
obvious to the senses, and at the same time the highest, the most
simple and the most complicated. Medicine employs the whole man, for
it occupies itself with the whole man. All that the young man learns
refers directly to an important, dangerous indeed, but yet in many
respects lucrative practice. He therefore devotes himself passionately
to whatever is to be known and to be done, partly because it is
interesting in itself, partly because it opens to him the joyous
prospect of independence and wealth.
At table then I heard nothing but medical conversations, just as
formerly in the boarding-house of Hofrath Ludwig. In our walks and in
our pleasure-parties likewise not much else was talked about; for my
fellow-boarders, like good fellows, had also become my companions at
other times, and they were always joined on all sides by persons of
like minds and like studies. The medical faculty in general shone above
the others, with respect both to the celebrity of the professors and
the number of the students, and I was the more easily borne along by
the stream, as I had just so much knowledge of all these things that
my desire for science could soon be increased and inflamed. At the
commencement of the second half-year, therefore, I attended a course on
chemistry by Spielmann, another on anatomy by Lobstein, and proposed
to be right industrious, because by my singular preliminary or rather
extra knowledge, I had already gained some respect and confidence in
our society.
[Side-note: Preparations for Reception of Marie Antoinette.]
Yet this dissipation and dismemberment of my studies was not enough,
they were to be once more seriously disturbed; for a remarkable
political event set everything in motion, and procured us a tolerable
succession of holidays. Marie Antoinette, Archduchess of Austria and
Queen of France, was to pass through Strasburg on her road to Paris.
The solemnities by which the people are made to take notice that there
is greatness in the world, were busily and abundantly prepared, and
especially remarkable to me was the building which stood on an island
in the Rhine between the two bridges, erected for her reception and
for surrendering her into the hands of her husband's ambassadors. It
was but slightly elevated above the ground, had in the centre a grand
saloon, on each side smaller ones; then followed other chambers, which
extended somewhat backwards. Enough, had it been more durably built,
it might have answered very well as a pleasure-house for persons
of rank. But that which particularly interested me, and for which I
did not grudge many a _büsel_ (a little silver coin then current)
in order to procure a repeated entrance from the porter, was the
embroidered tapestry with which they had lined the whole interior.
Here, for the first time, I saw a specimen of those tapestries worked
after Raffaelle's cartoons, and this sight was for me of very decided
influence, as I became acquainted with the true and the perfect on
a large scale, though only in copies. I went and came, and came
and went, and could not satiate myself with looking; nay, a vain
endeavour troubled me, because I would willingly have comprehended what
interested me in so extraordinary a manner. I found these side-chambers
highly delightful and refreshing, but the chief saloon so much the
more shocking. This had been hung with many larger, more brilliant and
richer hangings, which were surrounded with crowded ornaments, worked
after pictures by the modern French.
Now I might perhaps have reconciled myself to this style also, as my
feelings, like my judgment, did not readily reject anything entirely;
but the subject was excessively revolting to me. These pictures
contained the history of Jason, Medea, and Creusa, and therefore an
example of the most unhappy marriage. To the left of the throne was
seen the bride struggling with the most horrible death, surrounded
by persons full of sympathizing woe; to the right was the father,
horrified at the murdered babes before his feet; whilst the Fury, in
her dragon-car, drove along into the air. And that the horrible and
atrocious should not lack something absurd, the white tail of that
magic bull flourished out on the right-hand from behind the red velvet
of the gold-embroidered back of the throne, while the fire-spitting
beast himself, and the Jason who was fighting with him, were completely
covered by the sumptuous drapery.
Here all the maxims which I had made my own in Oeser's school were
stirring within my bosom. It was without proper selection and
judgment, to begin with, that Christ and the apostles were brought
into the side-halls of a nuptial building, and doubtless the size of
the chambers had guided the royal tapestry-keeper. This, however, I
willingly forgave, because it had turned out so much to my advantage;
but a blunder like that in the grand saloon put me altogether out
of my self-possession, and with animation and vehemence I called
on my comrades to witness such a crime against taste and feeling.
"What!" cried I, without regarding the bystanders, "is it permitted
so thoughtlessly to place before the eyes of a young queen, at her
first setting foot in her dominions, the representation of the most
horrible marriage that perhaps was ever consummated! Is there then
among the French architects, decorators, upholsterers, not a single
man who understands that pictures represent something, that pictures
work upon the mind and feelings, that they make impressions, that they
excite forebodings! It is just the same as if they had sent the most
ghastly spectre to meet this beauteous and pleasure-loving lady at the
very frontiers!" I know not what I said besides; enough, my comrades
tried to quiet me and to remove me out of the house, that there might
be no offence. They then assured me that it was not everybody's concern
to look for significance in pictures; that to themselves, at least,
nothing of the sort would have occurred, while the whole population of
Strasburg and the vicinity which was to throng thither, would no more
take such crotchets into their heads than the queen herself and her
court.
I yet remember well the beauteous and lofty mien, as cheerful as it was
imposing, of this youthful lady. Perfectly visible to us all in her
glass carriage, she seemed to be jesting with her female attendants,
in familiar conversation, about the throng that poured forth to meet
her train. In the evening we roamed through the streets to look at the
various illuminated buildings, but especially the glowing spire of
the minster, with which, both near and in the distance, we could not
sufficiently feast our eyes.
The queen pursued her way; the country people dispersed, and the city
was soon quiet as ever. Before the queen's arrival, the very rational
regulation had been made, that no deformed persons, no cripples nor
disgusting invalids, should show themselves on her route. People joked
about this, and I made a little French poem in which I compared the
advent of Christ, who seemed to wander upon the world particularly on
account of the sick and the lame, with the arrival of the queen, who
scared these unfortunates away. My friends let it pass; a Frenchman, on
the contrary, who lived with us, criticised the language and metre very
unmercifully, although, as it seemed, with too much foundation, and I
do not remember that I ever made a French poem afterwards.
[Side-note: Dreadful Accident at Paris.]
Scarcely had the news of the queen's happy arrival rung from the
capital, than it was followed by the horrible intelligence that, owing
to an oversight of the police during the festal fireworks, an infinite
number of persons, with horses and carriages, had been destroyed in
a street obstructed by building materials, and that the city, in the
midst of the nuptial solemnities, had been plunged into mourning and
sorrow. They attempted to conceal the extent of the misfortune, both
from the young royal pair and from the world, by burying the dead in
secret, so that many families were convinced only by the ceaseless
absence of their members that they, too, had been swept off by this
awful event. That, on this occasion, those ghastly figures in the grand
saloon again came vividly before my mind, I need scarcely mention; for
every one knows how powerful certain moral impressions are, when they
embody themselves, as it were, in those of the senses.
This occurrence was, however, destined moreover to place my friends in
anxiety and trouble by means of a prank in which I indulged. Among us
young people who had been at Leipzig, there had been maintained ever
afterwards a certain itch for imposing on and in some way mystifying
one another. With this wanton love of mischief I wrote to a friend in
Frankfort (he was the one who had amplified my poem on the cake-baker
Hendel, applied it to _Medon_, and caused its general circulation),
a letter dated from Versailles, in which I informed him of my happy
arrival there, my participation in the solemnities, and other things
of the kind, but at the same time enjoined the strictest secrecy. I
must here remark that, from the time of that trick which had caused us
so much annoyance, our little Leipzig society had accustomed itself
to persecute him from time to time with mystifications, and this
especially as he was the drollest man in the world, and was never
more amiable than when he was discovering the cheat into which he had
deliberately been led. Shortly after I had written this letter, I went
on a little journey and remained absent about a fortnight. Meanwhile
the news of that disaster had reached Frankfort; my friend believed me
in Paris, and his affection led him to apprehend that I might have been
involved in the calamity. He inquired of my parents and other persons
to whom I was accustomed to write, whether any letters had arrived,
and as it was just at the time when my journey kept me from sending
any, they were altogether wanting. He went about in the greatest
uneasiness, and at last told the matter in confidence to our nearest
friends, who were now in equal anxiety. Fortunately this conjecture did
not reach my parents until a letter had arrived, announcing my return
to Strasburg. My young friends were satisfied to learn that I was
alive, but remained firmly convinced that I had been at Paris in the
interim. The affectionate intelligence of the solicitude they had felt
on my account affected me so much that I vowed to leave off such tricks
for ever, but, unfortunately, I have often since allowed myself to be
guilty of something similar. Real life frequently loses its brilliancy
to such a degree, that one is many a time forced to polish it up again
with the varnish of fiction.