believed my eyes; for I fancied I saw before me a picture by Ostade,
so perfect that one could only hang it up in the gallery. The position
of the objects, the light, the shadow, the brownish tint of the whole,
the magical harmony, everything that one admires in those pictures,
I here saw in reality. It was the first time that I perceived, in so
high a degree, the faculty which I afterwards exercised with more
consciousness, namely, that of seeing nature with the eyes of this or
that artist, to whose works I had devoted a particular attention. This
faculty has afforded me much enjoyment, but has also increased the
desire zealously to abandon myself, from time to time, to the exercise
of a talent which nature seemed to have denied me.
[Side-note: Counsellor Riedel.]
I visited the gallery at all permitted hours, and continued to express
too loudly my ecstasy at many precious works. I thus frustrated my
laudable purpose of remaining unknown and unnoticed; and whereas only
one of the under-keepers had hitherto had intercourse with me, the
gallery-inspector, Counsellor Riedel, now also took notice of me, and
made me attentive to many things which seemed chiefly to lie within my
sphere. I found this excellent man just as active and obliging then, as
when I afterwards saw him during many years, and as he shows himself
to this day. His image has, for me, interwoven itself so closely with
those treasures of art, that I can never regard the two apart; the
remembrance of him has even accompanied me to Italy, where, in many
large and rich collections, his presence would have been very desirable.
Since, even with strangers and unknown persons, one cannot gaze on
such works silently and without mutual sympathy, nay, since the first
sight of them is rather adapted, in the highest degree, to open hearts
towards each other, I fell there into conversation with a young man who
seemed to be residing at Dresden, and to belong to some embassy. He
invited me to come in the evening to an inn where a lively company met,
and where, by each one's paying a moderate reckoning, one could pass
some very pleasant hours.
I repaired thither, but did not find the company; and the waiter
somewhat surprised me when he delivered the compliments of the
gentleman who made the appointment with me, by which the latter sent
an excuse for coming somewhat later, with the addition that I must not
take offence at anything that might occur; also, that I should have
nothing to pay beyond my own score. I knew not what to make of these
words; my father's cobwebs came into my head, and I composed myself to
await whatever might befall. The company assembled, my acquaintance
introduced me, and I could not be attentive long, without discovering
that they were aiming at the mystification of a young man, who showed
himself a novice by an obstreperous, assuming deportment; I therefore
kept very much on my guard, so that they might not find delight
in selecting me as his fellow. At table this intention became more
apparent to everybody, except to himself. They drank deeper and deeper,
and when a _vivat_ in honour of sweethearts was started, every one
solemnly swore that there should never be another out of those glasses;
they flung them behind them; and this was the signal for far greater
follies. At last I withdrew, very quietly, and the waiter, while
demanding quite a moderate reckoning, requested me to come again, as
they did not go on so wildly every evening. I was far from my lodgings,
and it was near midnight when I reached them. I found the doors
unlocked, everybody was in bed, and one lamp illuminated the narrow
domestic household, where my eye, more and more practised, immediately
perceived the finest picture by Schalken, from which I could not tear
myself away, so that it banished from me all sleep.
The few days of my residence in Dresden were solely devoted to the
picture-gallery. The antiquities still stood in the pavilion of the
great garden, but I declined seeing them, as well as all the other
precious things which Dresden contained; being but too full of the
conviction that, even in and about the collection of paintings much
must yet remain hidden from me. Thus I took the excellence of the
Italian masters more on trust and in faith, than by pretending to any
insight into them. What I could not look upon as nature, put in the
place of nature, and compare with a known object, was without effect
upon me. It is the material impression which makes the beginning even
to every more elevated amateurship.
With my shoemaker I lived on very good terms. He was witty and
varied enough, and we often outvied each other in merry conceits;
nevertheless, a man who thinks himself happy, and desires others
to do the same, makes us discontented; indeed, the repetition of
such sentiments produces weariness. I found myself well occupied,
entertained, excited, but by no means happy; and the shoes from his
last would not fit me. We parted, however, as the best friends; and
even my hostess, on my departure, was not dissatisfied with me.
Shortly before my departure, something else very pleasant was to
happen. By the mediation of that young man, who wished to restore
himself to some credit with me, I was introduced to the Director Von
Hagedorn, who with great kindness showed me his collection, and was
highly delighted with the enthusiasm of the young lover of art. He
himself, as becomes a connoisseur, was quite peculiarly in love with
the pictures which he possessed, and therefore seldom found in others
an interest such as he wished. It gave him particular satisfaction that
I was beyond measure pleased with a picture by Schwanefeld, and that I
was not tired of praising and extolling it in every single part; for
landscapes, which again reminded me of the beautiful clear sky under
which I had grown up---of the vegetable luxuriance of those spots--and
of whatever other favours a warmer climate offers to man, were just the
things that most affected me in the imitation, while they awakened in
me a longing remembrance.
[Side-note: State of Dresden.]
These precious experiences, preparing both mind and sense for true art,
were nevertheless interrupted and damped by one of the most melancholy
sights, by the destroyed and desolate condition of so many of the
streets of Dresden through which I took my way. The Mohrenstrasse in
ruins, and the Church (_Kreuzkirche_) of the Cross, with its shattered
tower, impressed themselves deeply upon me, and still stand like a
gloomy spot in my imagination. From the cupola of the Lady Church
(_Frauenkirche_)** I saw these pitiable ruins scattered about amid the
beautiful order of the city. Here the clerk commended to me the art
of the architect, who had already fitted up church and cupola for so
undesirable an event, and had built them bomb-proof. The good sacristan
then pointed out to me the ruins on-all sides, and said doubtfully and
laconically, "_The enemy hath done this!_"
Now then, at last, though unwillingly, I returned back to Leipzig, and
found my friends, who were not used to such digressions in me, in great
astonishment, busied with all sorts of conjectures as to what might
be the import of my mysterious journey. When upon this I told them my
story quite in order, they declared it was only a made-up tale, and
sagaciously tried to get at the bottom of the riddle which I had been
waggish enough to conceal under my shoemaker-lodgings.
But could they have looked into my heart, they would have discovered no
waggery there; for the truth of that old proverb, "He that increaseth
knowledge increaseth sorrow," had struck me with all its force; and
the more I struggled to arrange and appropriate to myself what I had
seen, the less I succeeded. I had at last to content myself with a
silent after-operation. Ordinary life carried me away again, and I
at last felt myself quite comfortable when a friendly intercourse,
improvement in branches of knowledge which were suitable for me, and a
certain practice of the hand, engaged me in a manner less important,
but more in accordance with my strength.
Very pleasant and wholesome for me was the connexion which I formed
with the Breitkopf family. BERNHARD CHRISTOPH BREITKOPF, the proper
founder of the family, who had come to Leipzig as a poor journeyman
printer, was yet living, and occupied the Golden Bear, a respectable
house in the new Newmarket, with Gottsched as an inmate. The son,
Johann Gottlob Immanuel, had already been long married, and was the
father of many children. They thought they could not spend a part of
their considerable wealth better than in putting up, opposite the
first house, a large new one, the Silver Bear, which they built higher
and more extensive than the original house itself. Just at the time
of the building I became acquainted with the family. The eldest son
might have been some years older than I was, a well-formed young man,
devoted to music, and practised to play skilfully on both the piano
and the violin. The second, a true, good soul, likewise musical,
enlivened the concerts which were often got up, no less than his elder
brother. They were both kindly disposed towards me, as well as their
parents and sisters. I lent them a helping-hand during the building up
and the finishing, the furnishing and the moving in, and thus formed
a conception of much that belongs to such an affair; I also had an
opportunity of seeing Oeser's instructions put in practice. In the new
house, which I had thus seen erected, I was often a visitor. We had
many pursuits in common, and the eldest son set some of my songs to
music, which, when printed, bore his name, but not mine, and have been
little known. I have selected the best, and inserted them among my
other little poems. The father had invented or perfected musical type.
He permitted me the use of a fine library, which related principally to
the origin and progress of printing, and thus I gained some knowledge
in that department. I found there moreover, good copper-plates, which
exhibited antiquity, and advanced on this side also my studies, which
were still further promoted by the circumstance that a considerable
collection of casts had fallen into disorder in moving. I set them
right again as well as I could, and in doing so was compelled to search
Lippert and other authorities. A physician, Doctor REICHEL, likewise an
inmate of the house, I consulted from time to time when I felt, if not
sick, yet unwell, and thus we led together a quiet, pleasant life.
[Side-note: Taste for Etching.]
I was now to enter into another sort of connexion in this house; for
the copper-plate engraver, STOCK, had moved into the attic. He was
a native of Nuremberg, a very industrious man, and, in his labours,
precise and methodical. He also, like Geyser, engraved, after Oeser's
designs, larger and smaller plates, which came more and more into vogue
for novels and poems. He etched very neatly, so that his work came out
of the aquafortis almost finished, and but little touching-up remained
to be done with the graver, which he handled very well. He made an
exact calculation how long a plate would occupy him, and nothing could
call him off from his work if he had not completed the daily task he
had set himself. Thus he sat at a broad work-table, by the great**
gable-window, in a very neat and orderly chamber, where his wife and
two daughters afforded him a domestic society. Of these last, one
is happily married, and the other is an excellent artist; they have
continued my friends all my life long. I now divided my time between
the upper and lower stories, and attached myself much to the man, who,
together with his persevering industry, possessed an excellent humour,
and was good-nature itself.
The technical neatness of this branch of art charmed me, and I
associated myself with him to execute something of the kind. My
predilection was again directed towards landscape, which, while it
amused me in my solitary walks, seemed in itself more attainable and
more comprehensible for works of art than the human figure, which
discouraged me. Under his directions, therefore, I etched, after
THIELE and others, various landscapes, which, although executed by an
unpractised hand, produced some effect, and were well received. The
grounding (varnishing) of the plates, the putting in the high lights,
the etching, and at last the biting with aquafortis, gave me variety
of occupation, and I soon got so far that I could assist my master in
many things. I did not lack the attention necessary for the biting,
and I seldom failed in anything; but I had not care enough in guarding
against the deleterious vapours which are generated on such occasions,
and these may have contributed to the maladies which afterwards
troubled me for a long time. Amidst such labours, that everything
might be tried, I often made wood-cuts also. I prepared various little
printing-blocks after French patterns, and many of them were found fit
for use.
Let me here make mention of some other men who resided in Leipzig, or
tarried there for a short time. WEISSE, the custom-house collector of
the district, in his best years, cheerful, friendly, and obliging, was
loved and esteemed by us. We would not, indeed, allow his theatrical
pieces to be models throughout, but we suffered ourselves to be
carried away by them, and his operas, set to music by Hiller in an
easy style, gave us much pleasure. SCHIEBLER, of Hamburgh, pursued the
same track; and his _Lisuard and Dariolette_ was likewise favoured by
us. ESCHENBURG, a handsome young man, but little older than we were,
distinguished himself advantageously among the students. ZACHARIÆ
was pleased to spend some weeks with us, and being introduced by his
brother, dined every day with us at the same table. We rightly deemed
it an honour to gratify our guest in return, by a few extra dishes,
a richer dessert, and choicer wine; for, as a tall, well-formed,
comfortable man, he did not conceal his love of good eating. LESSING
came at a time when we had I know not what in our heads; it was our
good pleasure to go nowhere on his account, nay, even to avoid the
places to which he came, probably because we thought ourselves too
good to stand at a distance, and could make no pretension to obtain a
closer intimacy with him. This momentary absurdity, which, however, is
nothing rare in presuming and freakish youth, proved, indeed, its own
punishment in the sequel; for I have never set eyes on that eminent
man, who was most highly esteemed by me.
Notwithstanding all our efforts relative to art and antiquity, we
each of us always had WINCKELMANN before our eves, whose ability
was acknowledged in his fatherland with enthusiasm. We read his
writings diligently, and tried to make ourselves acquainted with the
circumstances under which he had written the first of them. We found in
them many views which seemed to have originated with Oeser, even jests
and whims after his fashion, and we did not rest until we had formed
some general conception of the occasion on which these remarkable and
sometimes so enigmatical writings had arisen, though we were not very
accurate; for youth likes better to be excited than instructed, and it
was not the last time that I was to be indebted to Sibylline leaves for
an important step in cultivation.
[Side-note: Death of Winckelmann.]
It was then a fine period in literature, when eminent men were yet
treated with respect, although the disputes of Klotz and Lessing's
controversies, already indicated that this epoch would soon close.
Winckelmann enjoyed an universal, unassailed reverence, and it is
known how sensitive he was with regard to anything public which did
not seem commensurate with his deeply felt dignity. All the periodical
publications joined in his praise, the better class of tourists came
back from him instructed and enraptured, and the new views which he
gave extended themselves over science and life. The Prince of Dessau
had raised himself up to a similar degree of respect. Young, well and
nobly minded, he had on his travels and at other times shown himself
truly desirable. Winckelmann was in the highest degree delighted with
him, and, whenever he mentioned him, loaded him with the handsomest
epithets. The laying out of a park, then unique, the taste for
architecture, which Von Erdmannsdorf supported by his activity,
everything spoke in favour of a prince, who, while he was a shining
example for the rest, gave promise of a golden age for his servants and
subjects. We young people now learned with rejoicings that Winckelmann
would return back from Italy, visit his princely friend, call on
Oeser by the way, and so come within our sphere of vision. We made no
pretensions to speaking with him, but we hoped to see him; and as at
that time of life one willingly changes every occasion into a party
of pleasure, we had already agreed upon a journey to Dessau, where,
in a beautiful spot, made glorious by art, in a land well governed,
and at the same time externally adorned, we thought to lie in wait
now here, now there, in order to see with our own eyes these men so
highly exalted above us walking about. Oeser himself was quite elated
if he only thought of it, and the news of Winckelmann's death fell down
into the midst of us like a thunderbolt from a clear sky. I still
remember the place where I first heard it; it was in the court of the
Pleissenburg, not far from the little gate through which one used to
go up to Oeser's residence. One of my fellow-pupils met me and told
me that Oeser was not to be seen, with the reason why. This monstrous
event[3] produced a monstrous effect; there was an universal mourning
and lamentation, and Winckelmann's untimely death sharpened the
attention paid to the value of his life. Perhaps, indeed, the effect
of his activity, if he had continued it to a more advanced age, would
probably not have been so great as it now necessarily became, when,
like many other extraordinary men, he was distinguished by fate through
a strange and calamitous end.
Now, while I was infinitely lamenting the death of Winckelmann, I
did not think that I should soon find myself in the case of being
apprehensive about my own life: since, during all these events, my
bodily condition had not taken the most favourable turn. I had already
brought with me from home a certain touch of hypochondria, which, in
this new sedentary and lounging life, was rather strengthened than
diminished. The pain in the breast, which I had felt from time to
time ever since the accident at Auerstädt, and which after a fall
from horseback had perceptibly increased, made me dejected. By an
unfortunate diet, I destroyed my powers of digestion; the heavy
Merseburg beer clouded my brain; the coffee, which gave me a peculiarly
melancholy tone, especially when taken with milk after dinner,
paralysed my bowels, and seemed completely to suspend their functions,
so that I experienced great uneasiness on this account, yet without
being able to embrace a resolution for a more rational mode of life.
My natural disposition, supported by the sufficient strength of youth,
fluctuated between the extremes of unrestrained gaiety and melancholy
discomfort. Besides this, the epoch of the cold water bath, which was
unconditionally recommended, had then begun. One was to sleep on a
hard bed, only slightly covered, by which all the usual perspiration
was suppressed. These and other follies, in consequence of some
misunderstood suggestions of Rousseau, would, it was promised, bring
us nearer to nature, and deliver us from the corruption of morals.
Now, all the above, without discrimination, applied with injudicious
alternation, were felt by many most injuriously, and I irritated my
happy organization to such a degree, that the particular systems
contained within it necessarily broke out at last into a conspiracy and
revolution, in order to save the whole.
One night I awoke with a violent hæmorrhage, and had just strength and
presence of mind enough to waken my next room neighbour. Dr. Reichel
was called in, who assisted me in the most friendly manner, and thus
for many days I wavered betwixt life and death; and even the joy of
a subsequent improvement was embittered by the circumstance that,
during that eruption, a tumour had formed on the left side of the neck,
which, after the danger was past, they now first found time to notice.
Recovery is, however, always pleasing and delightful, even though it
takes place slowly and painfully; and since nature had helped herself
with me, I appeared now to have become another man: for I had gained a
greater cheerfulness of mind than I had known for a long time, and I
was rejoiced to feel my inner self at liberty, although externally a
wearisome affliction threatened me.
But what particularly set me up at this time was, to see how many
eminent men had, undeservedly, given me their affection. Undeservedly,
I say: for there was not one among them to whom I had not been
troublesome through contradictory humours, not one whom I had not more
than once wounded by morbid absurdity, nay, whom I had not stubbornly
avoided for a long time, from a feeling of my own injustice. All this
was forgotten; they treated me in the most affectionate manner, and
sought, partly in my chamber, partly as soon as I could leave it, to
amuse and divert me. They drove out with me, entertained me at their
country-houses, and I seemed soon to recover.
[Side-note: Dr. Hermann.]
Among these friends I name first of all Doctor HERMANN, then senator,
afterwards burgomaster of Leipzig. He was among those boarders with
whom I had become acquainted through Schlosser, the one with whom an
always equable and enduring connexion was maintained. One might well
reckon him the most industrious of his academical fellow-citizens. He
attended his lectures with the greatest regularity, and his private
industry remained always the same. Step by step, without the slightest
deviation, I saw him attain his Doctor's degree, and then raise himself
to the assessorship, without anything of all this appearing arduous to
him, or his having in the least hurried or been too late with anything.
The gentleness of his character attracted me, his instructive
conversation held me fast; indeed I really believe that I took delight
in his methodical industry especially for this reason, because I
thought, by acknowledgments and high esteem, to appropriate to myself
at least a part of a merit of which I could by no means boast.
He was just as regular in the exercise of his talents and the enjoyment
of his pleasures as in his business. He played the harpsichord with
great skill, drew from nature with feeling, and stimulated me to do
the same; when, in his manner, on grey paper and with black and white
chalk, I used to copy many a willow-plot on the Pleisse, and many a
lovely nook of those still waters, and at the same time longingly
to indulge in my fancies. He knew how to meet my sometimes comical
disposition with merry jests, and I remember many pleasant hours
which we spent together when he invited me, with mock solemnity, to a
_tête-à-tête_ supper, where, with some dignity, by the light of waxen
candles, we ate what they call a council-hare, which had run into his
kitchen as a perquisite of his place, and with many jokes in the manner
of Behrisch, were pleased to season the meat and heighten the spirit of
the wine. That this excellent man, who is still constantly labouring
in his respectable office, rendered me the most faithful assistance
during a disease, of which there was indeed a foreboding, but which had
not been foreseen in its full extent, that he bestowed every leisure
hour upon me, and by remembrances of former happy times, contrived to
brighten the gloomy moment, I still acknowledge with the sincerest
thanks, and rejoice that after so long a time I can give them publicly.