pressure from her family and society is too strong for her to resist,
and the same is much the case with the young men. The choice of a
partner for life being one in which often the boy has no voice, it
follows that the girl has none whatever. A father engaging his daughter
was asked, "What does the girl think of it herself?" "She? It is none of
her affair; it is my business whom she marries." Like Browning's
Pompilia:
"Who, all the while, bore from first to last
As brisk a part in the bargain, as yon lamb
Brought forth from basket, and set out for sale
Bears, while they chaffer o'er it; each in turn
Patting the curly, calm, unconscious head,
With the shambles ready round the corner there."
Thus the girl enters a new home, often to be the slave of her
mother-in-law. As a rule, the married couple have had no previous
acquaintance with each other.
Such a state of society is hard on both sexes. A man is bound to a wife
who will in all probability deceive and disobey him, who compasses by
fraud what she cannot obtain by fair means, and who has no affection for
him. She is ignorant; she is no companion for him mentally; it is not
strange that he dreads to place in her keeping his honor, his property,
and the welfare of his house. I have heard a young man say, "We are like
putting out a hand into the dark, to receive we know not what. Of one
thing only we are sure; it will be bad." It is impossible that much
unhappiness should not result, as shown by the number of divorces,
reckoned by one of themselves as at least forty per cent. of the
marriages. The wonder is that happy marriages do occur. Some there
undoubtedly are, but in defiance of the system, and not in consequence
of it. When one such comes to our notice, it appears like a green and
refreshing oasis in a monotonous desert. One lady told us, "I have been
married fifteen years, and my husband and I have never had a
difference." Another said, "He is so kind to me; he has never yet
scolded me for anything I did." She added, "But I am extremely careful
to avoid what I know he does not like and in all matters I try my best
to please him." It must be said, however, that one of these men is
secretly a believer in Christ, and the other a follower of the Bab, in
whose system the equality and rights of woman play a prominent part.
Did space permit we should gladly tell the romantic history of
Qurrat-el-Ayn, the Joan of Arc of the Babi movement; but in this
connection, we may be pardoned for giving the following sonnet, evoked
by her remarkable life and tragic death:
"Quarrat-el-Ayn! not famous far beyond
Her native shore. Not many bards have sung
Her praises, who, her enemies among,
Wielding her beauty as a magic wand,
Strove for the cause of him who had proclaimed
For poor down-trodden womanhood the right
Of freedom. Lifting high her beacon light
Of truth, she went unveiled and unashamed,
A woman, in the land where women live
And weep and die secluded and unknown,
She broke the bonds of custom, and to give
The Bab her aid, she dared the world alone,
Only to fail: death closed the unequal strife,
And Persia blindly wrecked a noble life." ...
The popular estimate of woman is that she is naturally inferior, not to
be trusted, to be kept continually under surveillance as a necessary
evil, with something disgraceful in the fact of her existence, a person
to be controlled and kept down from birth to death. "Why do you take
your wife out to walk with you?" said one brother to another more
enlightened. "I see you promenading outside of the village with her; she
will get out of her proper place, and neither obey or respect you, if
you pamper her in that way." The younger man replied with indignation,
"Is she not a human being, and shall I not treat her as such?" The elder
answered, "She must know that her proper position is under your foot."
A poet says, "A thousand houses are destroyed by women." Another Moslem
authority writes, "Jealousy and acrimony, as well as weakness of
character and judgment, are implanted in the nature of women, and incite
them to misconduct and vice." Mohammed says, "Chide those whose
refractoriness you have cause to fear, and beat them." The limit
suggested is, "Not one of you must whip his wife like whipping a slave."
A book containing sage advice warns man against three things: "First,
excess of affection for a wife, for this gives her prominence and leads
to a state of perversion, when the power is overpowered and the
commander commanded. Second, consulting or acquainting a wife with
secrets or amount of property." Mohammed also warns, "Not to entrust to
the incapable the substance which God hath placed with you," and,
"Beware, make not large settlements on women." "Third, Let him allow her
no musical instruments, no visiting out of doors, or listening to
stories."
As to a woman's duty, Mohammed declared that if the worship of one
created being could be permitted to another, he would have enjoined the
worship of husbands. It seems strange to calculate a woman's value
arithmetically, but in Moslem law the testimony of two women is equal to
that of one man, a daughter gets half a son's inheritance, and a wife
only an eighth of her husband's property, if there are children;
otherwise a fourth. A husband does not speak of his wife as such, but
uses some circumlocution as "My house, my child, or the mother of such a
boy." A villager asked the doctor to come and treat his mother. "How old
is she?" "Thirty." "And how old are you?" "Forty." "How can she be your
mother?" A bystander, filled with contempt for such obtuseness,
whispered, "It is his wife, but he doesn't like to say so." In like
manner, the children are not taught to say father and mother, but the
master, the older brother, the mistress, the lady sister, the older
sister.
A comic paper published by Mohammedans in Russia, and in their own
language, has recently had some amusing pictures bearing on the position
of women. In the first, two women and several men are coming before the
Mullahs for marriage or divorce; large heads of sugar carried into the
presence hint at bribery as a factor in the case. The women, who stand
mute and submissive, with their mouths tied up, as is literally the case
with many of them, have evidently nothing to say in the matter. The
second scene shows a man and three boys sitting around a large bowl of
rice, which is rapidly disappearing before their vigorous onset. The cat
is crunching a bone, but the wife and mother sits at one side while even
the baby in her arms is given a portion; but she waits till all are
satisfied, and she may come in for the leavings. Again, the lord and
master of the house, stretched upon a divan, smokes his pipe, a crying
child beside him on the floor. His wife enters, staggering under a heavy
stone water jar on her shoulder, another in her hand, and a child tied
on her back. He exclaims, "Oh, woman, may God curse you! this child
gives me the headache! come, take it also on your back."
A full two-page colored cartoon depicts the carriage of a most exalted
personage, with the veiled wife in it rolling through the street, while
all men and boys are turning their backs, and some even shutting their
eyes in obedience to officers armed with long whips. A dog also has
duteously and humbly turned his back to the forbidden sight, and is
crouched down with the most virtuous air you could imagine. When such
satires as this can appear, and the edition of the paper runs up into
the thousands, people are beginning to think.
XVIII
DARKNESS AND DAYBREAK IN PERSIA
PART II
There is indeed another side to the question, and all honor to the
Moslem men whose eyes are open to see the wrongs of women, whose hearts
pity, and who venture into the thorny and dangerous path of reform! Many
more, no doubt, feel all these things, but what can they do? They are so
bound in the net of custom and prejudice, that it is next to impossible
to remedy, in any degree, the existing evils; while by attempting it,
they run the risk of making things worse, and so shrug their shoulders,
and feel there is nothing to do but to submit.
One husband, sincerely attached to his wife, said to me, "How glad I
should be to see her free as you are! It is no pleasure to me to have
her shrouded in a black wrap, and shut up behind a curtain; it is the
dream of my life to take her to Europe, and have her travel with me, as
a companion and a friend. But in this country I dare not deviate in the
least from our customs; she is so pretty, if other men saw her I should
be killed for her sake." This man was studying English, and the teacher
being a man, the lady sat behind a screen, listening to the lessons,
and learning faster than the gentleman. Though he had three other wives,
this one (though being childless) had complete possession of his heart.
They gave a supper to our lady physician and myself, he doing us the
honor to wait on the table, a thing which, had not my own eyes seen it,
I could not have believed possible in Persia. It was sufficiently
surprising to have him sit at the same table and eat with us, but how
much more so, that with each course he should rise, change our plate,
and serve the food which the cook brought to the door of the room. He
had never appeared so honorable in our eyes, as when, thus laying aside
the pride of rank and station, he was "among us as one that served."
[Illustration: MAT-MAKERS (PERSIA)]
[Illustration: INDOOR DRESS (NORTHERN PERSIA)]
When one first comes to a Moslem country, a sentiment of profound pity
for the women predominates; but as it is evident that half the
population cannot be kept in an unnatural and degraded condition,
without entailing disastrous consequences on the other half, one begins
to feel equal sympathy for the men, who suffer under the disadvantage of
having no true family life, and indeed of being unable to form a
conception of what it is.
The great trouble is the lack of confidence in married life; as it is a
very rare thing to find a wife who can trust her husband not to divorce
her, if it appear convenient and desirable, or not to add to his wives
if he be able.
Divorce, which a woman may obtain under certain rare conditions, is a
man's right without restriction. A woman's only protection is, her dowry
must be paid her, and her husband must pronounce the sentence of divorce
three times. Thus a little check is put on an angry impulse. Age, poor
health, loss of beauty or eyesight, lack of children, especially of
sons, or the merest whim, may be the excuse for it. The most pathetic
appeals are made to the lady doctor, by women in dread of divorce.
A wealthy nobleman, married to a young and beautiful lady of equal rank,
the mother of both sons and daughters, and as reported, with a fair
amount of wedded happiness, was dazzled by a proposed alliance with a
princess of such rank as to brook no rival. The indispensable condition
was a divorce, and absolute separation from the wife he had. She knew
nothing of her fate till one day, when visiting at her brother's, word
was brought her she need not return home. That night the wedding was
celebrated with firing of cannon and great festivities, but the children
were crying for their mother, and for her and them there was no redress.
She immediately went on pilgrimage to a holy shrine, to pray that her
husband and his new wife might be cursed of God. The man met with some
very signal and public reverses, and transported with joy, she flew to
another sacred place, to call down more misfortunes on his head.
Many of the divorced women remarry; others become beggars or
maid-servants. As for the children, if the family be wealthy, they
remain with the father; if poor, in case both parents find other
partners, they are often cast adrift to shift for themselves.
On a journey, the wife of the muleteer was seen to be laying aside part
of the tea, sugar, etc., purchased by the man for their joint use, and
was asked the cause. She replied, "It is necessary to make some
provision for myself against the day when he shall divorce me; I have
had six husbands and he has had seven wives; what can I expect?" The
couple had been newly married, and this was their wedding trip.
A sad-faced drudge in our lodging place told us, "I am the twenty-fifth
wife, some are divorced, some dead; to-morrow it may be my turn to go."
Polygamy is prevalent among the rich who can afford it, and is regarded
by many as highly meritorious. Some of the poor also practise it, but
most of them have but one wife at a time, and are comparatively faithful
to her. The percentage of men who live in polygamy is difficult to
arrive at, but a good judge has estimated it at thirty per cent. The
best men seem to be ashamed and to deprecate it. Some say it is
forbidden in the Koran, by the verse which allows only as many wives as
a man can treat with equity; as they say this is an impossibility, if a
man has more than one consort, to treat them alike. When asked about the
example of the Prophet, and the holy men, especially the Imams, they
say, as for Mohammed, he was allowed peculiar privileges, not granted to
other men. Some who consider the Imams sinless, explain their conduct in
the same way. Those who do not accept this solution say the Imams did
wrong in having a plurality of wives. When asked about the Shah, they
reply he does wrong in practising polygamy, but it is permitted to him
because he has the power in his hands.
No Moslem woman is supposed to have any right to require or expect that
her husband will be true to her in the marriage relation, though
fidelity to him is rigorously exacted of her, and her breach of it is
punishable with death.
There may be instances where the women of a polygamous household agree;
the casual stranger, who visits a harem without any knowledge of the
language, or personal acquaintance with the inmates, will often be
assured that they love each other fondly, and are more than sisters in
friendship; but the trusted family friend, or the lady doctor, can tell
a very different tale.
Our doctor told me once, she thought the two women of a certain house,
were an exception to the general rule, and that they really were
friends; but soon after, the older one being sick, she saw a good deal
of her in private, and was obliged sadly to confess she had been
mistaken.
I have myself known of one case, in which the rival wives were of the
same mind. One of our neighbors had two partners of his joys and
sorrows, who sometimes joined forces, and gave him a good beating, so
he would be seen flying in hot haste from his "happy" home. One man said
to one of us, "I don't need to die in order to go to hell; I have it in
my own house; I live there." Another, when told by the indignant doctor,
"Your mode of life is beastly," replied, "I know it; compared with me
the beasts are decent."
If the wives are in the same house, it is filled with bitterness and
jealousy; if they are in separate houses or even in different towns, the
case is not much better. If the women were not taught by their religious
leaders that their sufferings are the will of God, and that it is very
meritorious to accept them, and if they believed any other fate
possible, I do not think they would endure it. They say "Christian women
have their heaven now, but afterwards they will inherit endless
suffering; we have hell in this life, but hereafter shall come eternal
bliss."
"Do we love our husbands?" said one in answer to a question, "Yes, as
much as a sieve holds water." One of our friends, the third of three
wives in one house, was found by us at her mother's. "Oh, yes," she
said, "I have come home to stay; I simply could not bear it any longer;
so I hired a woman to take my place with my husband and came here."
These are regularly married wives, with dowry rights and the protection
of law. What of the poor temporary hired ones, who come for a longer or
shorter period, and a specified wage? This is the peculiar shame and
blot of the Shiah sect of Islam, which not only tolerates the vile
institution of _muti_, but takes it under the sanction of law and
custom, and even permits the ministers of religion to be the chief
promoters of it, many of them accumulating wealth by this base means.
You will sometimes hear it stated that there are no houses of
prostitution in Moslem lands. In Persia, at least, the institution may
not exist in precisely the same form as in other countries, where it is
under the ban of the law, and in defiance of public opinion, but it is
here, in a form which utterly depraves the mind of the people, and
obliterates for them all moral distinctions, poisoning family life at
the very fountain. It is impossible to go fully into this subject: the
details are too revolting, but one or two instances may suffice.
We know of a girl who was sold for five dollars by her family, and taken
by her brother to a city where a Khan wished for her during his
temporary sojourn; on his return he discarded her, and she came back to
her family, her social standing in no wise affected by the transaction,
which was merely a matter of business. An old roué, who had already had
over thirty wives, sitting like a spider in his web, from his upper
window spied a pretty young girl in the street. Her family was poor, and
he tempted them with money and large promises, and sent silks and satins
for the trousseau. It was all but done, when some missionary ladies
remonstrated on her behalf, and showed how she would soon come back to
them ruined and diseased. So she escaped for that time.
In the house of my Turkish teacher, I was introduced to "my brother's
wife." Inquiring about her some months after I was told, "My brother has
no wife; he has never been married." "But who, then, was that woman who
was presented to me as his wife?" "That was a _muti_ woman; he treated
her so badly she could not stay her time out, but asked to be excused
and went away without her money."
The effect of polygamy and divorce on children is very bad. A son,
particularly, seeing his mother treated with disrespect, feels contempt
for her, and will in many cases tyrannize over and beat her. Another
effect is that curiosity is stimulated, and a premature and unhallowed
knowledge is gained of the most sacred relations of life, which is
contaminating, and destroys for ever the innocence of childhood. As a
matter of course, there is jealousy between the children of different
wives, and estrangement and hatred destroy family affection. One who has
seen the children of Sarah in the place of honor, presented proudly to
the visitor and indulged in every wish, and at the same time the
children of Hagar standing humbly in the presence as servants, or
hanging about the door outside, will not soon forget the contrast.
In such a house there is nothing whatever to teach a boy the possibility
of leading a clean life; purity is not expected of him, and often the
most elaborate provision is made to satisfy the lusts of the flesh. The
mother of a young boy will hire a female servant for him as part of the
regular family. The effect of such an element on the whole household may
be imagined. Bitter also is the retribution often suffered for such
breaches of the law of God. Barrenness is a most common thing, and the
Moslem population does not increase but barely replaces itself, while
the Jews and Christians, whose family life is comparatively pure,
survive and win in the race of life.
If a Moslem woman were sure of her place in her husband's affection and
her position in the home, I am certain she would prove herself as worthy
as any; for I have observed some families among them where the tradition
or custom of the clan is against polygamy and divorce, and the women in
those homes are loyal to their husbands' interests, ready to work hard
and deny themselves for the home which they know is guaranteed to them
and their children. We are very apt to think that having known nothing
better and having nothing else to hope for, they must be contented and
reconciled to their lot. This reminds one of the answer of the old
fishwife, when one remonstrated with her on the habit of skinning eels
alive, "Oh, they don't mind it; they are used to it." This is far from
being the case, and it is especially true of those who, by travel or
contact with Christians, have had their eyes opened to the fact, that
in other countries their sisters enjoy advantages of education, and are
objects of respect denied to themselves; that Christian women are
trusted with freedom, and as a rule prove worthy of it.
Yet the fact remains: these women and girls cannot be educated and
emancipated, without bringing to bear on the social fabric influences
which would result in its disintegration and destruction, with nothing
better to replace it. Galling as are the curtain and the veil, they
cannot be dispensed with, for fear of worse evils. Ignorance and
seclusion are better than education and liberty without moral restraint.
While polygamy and divorce exist, and there is no standard of purity
equally applicable to both sexes, more freedom than woman now possesses
cannot with safety be granted her. I fail to see any remedy, but in the
doctrine and practice of Christianity. The fact known to be true of a
school in Syria, points out the solution of the problem. Of the pupils
of a Protestant school, conducted there, for many years, and largely
attended by Moslem girls, it is stated a case has never been known where
a pupil who had passed through their hands had been divorced or obliged
to accept a second wife in her home.
These women have learned lessons of duty, of personal responsibility to
God, of self-respect, self-control, kindness, and love, that cause the
hearts of their husbands safely to trust in them. Can we say as much
for any other system of education or religion?
Certainly Mohammedanism, with its twin evils of polygamy and divorce,
has not only failed to elevate woman, but has everywhere resulted in her
degradation. More pitiful than the more obvious wrongs inflicted by this
system, is the effect produced upon character. Being distrusted, she has
become untrustworthy; being abused, she has become abusive; and every
evil passion is given free rein.
The bad wife is described by a Moslem writer as "a rebel for contumacy
and unruliness; as a foe for contemptuousness and reproach; and as a
thief for treacherous designs upon her husband's purse." She becomes an
adept in the use of woman's weapon, the tongue; "an unruly evil full of
deadly poison." "An angry woman in a passion of rage, pouring forth
torrents of curses and invectives, is a fury incarnate." The jealousy of
rival wives often leads to dreadful crimes. One woman became blind from
vitriol thrown in her face by another wife; an only son, most precious
and of high rank, was poisoned in his innocent babyhood by his mother's
rival; a young bride attempted suicide in her despair.
These are but instances; every harem has its unwritten tragedies.
Not the least feature of the moral ruin into which they have fallen, is
the impurity which seems to permeate every thought; so that they delight
in obscene songs, vile allusions, and impure narratives. A missionary
lady visiting at the home of a highborn Moslem woman, very religious and
devout according to their standards, was so shocked by the character of
the conversation with which her hostess was trying to entertain her, as
to be forced to say, "If you talk to me like this, I shall be obliged to
excuse myself and leave your house."
Saddest of all, they often become so depraved that they not only connive
at the evils of the system, but actively promote them. A lady going on a
long pilgrimage herself chose and brought two young girls, to be her
husband's concubines in her absence. A mother cultivates in her son the
passions she should teach him to subdue. The present mode of life is
supposed to be perpetuated in Paradise, where every true believer is to
have "seventy-two wives, and eighty thousand slaves," all Houris
specially created for him. The place for Moslem woman is not definitely
specified.
The religion that robs them of happiness in this life, and gives no hope
of it in the next, lays the same obligations upon them as on men, viz.,
the five foundations of practice: the witnessing to the Unity of God and
the apostleship of the Prophet; observing the five daily seasons of
prayer; alms-giving; the fast of Ramazan; and the pilgrimage to Mecca.