Captain Rothesay had intended to make the business-excursion wait on
that of pleasure--if pleasure the visit could be called, which
was entered on from duty, and would doubtless awaken many painful
associations; but he changed his mind, and it was not until his return
from London, that he stayed on the way, and sought out the village of
Harbury.
Verbal landscape-painting is rarely interesting to the general reader;
and as Captain Rothesay was certainly not devoted to the picturesque,
it seems idle to follow him during his ten-mile ride from the nearest
railway station to the place which he discovered was that of Mrs.
Gwynne's abode, and where her son was “perpetual curate.”
Her son! It seemed very strange to imagine Alison a mother; and yet,
while he thought, Angus Rothesay almost laughed at himself for his
folly. His boyish fancy had perforce faded at seventeen, and he was
now--pshaw!--he was somewhere above forty. As for Mrs. Gwynne, sixty
would probably be nearer her age. Yet, not having seen her since she
married, he never could think of her but as Alison Balfour.
As before observed, Captain Rothesay was by no means keenly susceptible
to beauty of scenery; otherwise, he would often have been attracted from
his meditations by that through which he passed. Lovely woodlands, just
bursting into the delicate green of spring; deep, still streams, flowing
through meadows studded with cattle; forest-roads shadowed with stately
trees, and so little frequented, that the green turf spread from hedge
to hedge, and the primroses and bluebells sprung up almost in the
pathway. All these composed a picture of rural loveliness which is
peculiar to England, and chiefly to that part of England where Harbury
is situated. Captain Rothesay scarcely noticed it, until, pausing
to consider his track, he saw in the distance a church upon a hill.
Beautiful and peaceful it looked--its ancient tower rising out against
the sky, and the evening sun shining on its windows and gilded vane.
“That must surely be my landmark,” thought Captain Rothesay; and he made
an inquiry to that effect of a man passing by.
“Ay, ay, measter,” was the answer, in rather unintelligible Doric;
“thot bees Harbury Church, as sure as moy name's John Dent; and thot red
house--conna ye see't?--thot's our parson's.”
Prompted by curiosity, Rothesay observed, “Oh, Mr. Gwynne's. He is quite
a young man, I believe? Do you like him, you good folks hereabout?”
“Some on us dun, and some on us dunna. He's not much of parson though;
he wunna send yer to sleep wi' his long preachings. But oi say the mon's
a good mon: he'll coom and see yer when you're bad, an' talk t' ye by
th' hour; though he dunna talk oot o' th' Bible. But oi'm a lad o' t'
forest, and 'll be a keeper some toime. That's better nor book-larning.”
Captain Rothesay had no will to listen to more personal revelations from
honest John Dent; so he said, quickly, “Perhaps so, my good fellow.”
Then added, “Mr. Gwynne has a mother living with him, I believe. What
sort of person is she?”
“Her's a good-enough lady, oi reckon: only a bit too proud. Many's
the blanket her's gen to poor folk; and my owd mother sees her every
week--but her's never shook hands wi' her yet. Eh, measter, won ye
go?”
This last remark was bellowed after Captain Rothesay, whose horse had
commenced a sudden canter, which ceased not until its owner dismounted
at the parsonage-gate.
This gate formed the boundary of the garden, and a most lovely spot
it was. It extended to the churchyard, with which it communicated by a
little wicket-door. You passed through beautiful parterres and alleys,
formed of fragrant shrubs, to the spot
Where grew the turf in many a mouldering heap.
It seemed as though the path of death were indeed through flowers.
Garden and churchyard covered the hill's summit; and from both might
be discerned a view such as is rarely seen in level England. It was
a panorama, extending some twenty or thirty miles across the country,
where, through woodlands and meadow-lands, flowed the silver windings
of a small river. Here and there was an old ruined castle--a manor-house
rising among its ancestral trees--or the faint, misty smoke-cloud, that
indicated some hamlet or small town. Save these, the landscape swept
on unbroken, until it ended at the horizon in the high range of the
D--shire hills.
Even to Captain Rothesay, this scene seemed strangely beautiful. He
contemplated it for some time, his hand still on the unopened gate; and
then he became aware that a lady, whose gardening dress and gardening
implements showed she was occupied in her favourite evening employment,
was looking at him with some curiosity.
The traces of life's downward path are easier to recognise than those
of its ascent. Though the mature womanhood of Alison Balfour had glided
into age, Rothesay had no difficulty in discovering that he was in the
presence of his former friend. Not so with her. He advanced, addressed
her by name, and even took her hand, before she had the slightest idea
that her guest was Angus Rothesay.
“Have you, then, so entirely forgotten me--forgotten the days in our
native Perthshire, when I was a bit laddie, and you, our guest, were
Miss Alison Balfour?”
There came a trembling over her features--ay, aged woman as she was!
But at her years, all the past, whether of joy or grief, becomes faint;
else, how would age be borne? She extended both her hands, with a warm
friendliness.
“Welcome, Angus Rothesay! No wonder I did not know you. These thirty
years--is it not thus much?--have changed you from a boy into a
middle-aged man, and made of me an old woman.”
She really was an elderly lady now. It seemed almost ridiculous to think
of her as his youth's idol. Neither was she beautiful--how could he ever
have imagined her so? Her irregular features--unnoticed when the white
and red tints of youth adorned them--were now, in age, positively plain.
Her strong-built frame had, in losing elasticity, lost much of grace,
though dignity remained. Looking on Mrs. Gwynne for the first time,
she appeared a large, rather plain woman. Looking again, it would be to
observe the noble candour that dwelt in the eyes, and the sweetness--at
times even playfulness--that hovered round the mouth. Regarding her
for the third time, you would see a woman whom you felt sure you must
perforce respect, and might, in time, love very much, if she would let
you. Of that gracious permission you would long have considerable doubt;
but once granted, you would never unlove her to the end of your days.
As for her loving _you_, you would not be quite clear that it did not
spring from the generous benevolence of her nature, rather than from
any individual warmth toward yourself; and such was the reserve of her
character, that, were her affection, ever so deep, she might possibly
never let you know it until the day of your death.
Yet she was capable of attachments, strong as her own nature. All her
feelings, passions, energies, were on a grand scale: in her were no
petty feminine follies--no weak, narrow illiberalities of judgment. She
had the soul of a man and the heart of a woman.
“You were gardening, I see?” said Captain Rothesay, making the first
ordinary remark that came to his mind to break the awkward pause.
“Yes; I do so every fine evening. Harold is very fond of flowers.
That reminds me I must call him to you at once, as it is
Wednesday,--service-night, and he will be engaged in his duties soon.”
“Pray, let us enter the house; I should much like to see your son,” said
Angus Rothesay. He gave her his arm; and they walked together, through
the green alleys of holly, to the front-door. Then Mrs. Gwynne stopped,
put her hand oyer her eyes for a moment, removed it, and looked
earnestly at her guest.
“Angus Rothesay! how strange this seems!--like a dream--a dream of
thirty years. Well, let us go in.”
Mechanically, and yet in a subdued, absent manner, she laid her bonnet
and shawl on the hall-table, and took off her gardening gloves, thereby
discovering hands, which, though large, were white and well formed,
and in their round, taper delicacy, exhibited no sign of age. Captain
Rothesay, without pausing to think, took the right hand.
“Ah! you wear still the ring I used to play with when a boy. I
thought”---- and recollecting himself, he stopped, ashamed of his
discourtesy in alluding to what must have been a painful past.
But she said, quietly, sadly, “You have a good memory. Yes, I wear it
again now. It was left to me, ten years since, on the death of Archibald
Maclean.”
Strange that she could thus speak that name! But over how many a buried
grief does the grass grow green in thirty years!
In the hall they encountered a young man.
“Harold,” said Mrs. Gwynne, “give welcome to an old--a very old friend
of mine--Captain Angus Rothesay. Angus, this is my son--my only son,
Harold.”
And she looked upon him as a mother, widowed for twenty years, looks
upon an only son; yet the pride was tempered with dignity, the affection
was veiled under reserve. She, who doubtless would have sustained his
life with her own heart's blood, had probably never since his boyhood
suffered him to know a mother's passionate tenderness, or to behold a
mother's tear.
Perhaps that was the reason that Harold's whole manner was the
reflection of her own. Not that he was like her in person; for nature
had to him been far more bountiful. But there was a certain rigidness
and harshness in his mien, and a slightly repellant atmosphere around
him. Probably not one of the young lambs of his flock had ever dreamed
of climbing the knee of the Reverend Harold Gwynne. Though he wore the
clerical garb, he did not look at all apostle-like; he was neither a St.
Paul nor a St. John. Yet a grand, noble head it was. It might have been
sketched for that of a young philosopher--a Galileo or a Priestley, with
the heavy, strongly-marked brows. The eyes--hackneyed as the description
is, no one can paint a man without mentioning his eyes: those of Harold
Gwynne were not unlike his mother's, in their open, steadfast look;
yet they were not soft, like hers, but of steel-grey, diamond-clear.
He carried his head very erect; and these eyes of his seemed as though
unable to rest on the ground; they were always turned upwards, with
a gaze--not reverent or dreamy--but eager, inquiring, and piercing as
truth itself.
Such was the young man with whom Captain Rothesay shook hands,
congratulating his old friend on having such a son.
“You are more fortunate than I,” he said; “my marriage has only bestowed
on me a daughter.”
“Daughters are a great comfort sometimes,” answered Mrs. Gwynne;
“though, for my part, I never wished for one.”
The quick, reproachful glance of Harold sought his mother's face; and
shortly afterwards he re-entered his study.
“My son thinks I meant to include a daughter-in-law,” was Mrs. Gwynne's
remark, while the concealed playfulness about her mouth appeared. “He is
soon to bring me one.”
“I know it--and know her too; by this means I found you out. I should
scarcely have imagined Sara Derwent the girl for you to choose.”
“_He_ chooses, not I. A mother, whose dutiful son has been her sole
stay through life, has no right to interfere with what he deems his
happiness,” said Alison, gravely. And, at that moment, the young curate
reappeared, ready for the duties to which he was summoned by the sharp
sound of the “church-going bell.”
“I will stay at home with Captain Rothesay,” observed Mrs. Gwynne.
Her guest made a courteous disclaimer, which ended in something about
“religious duties.”
“Hospitality is a duty too--at least we thought so in the north,” she
answered. “And old friendship is ever somewhat of a religion with me.
Therefore I will stay, Harold.”
“You are right, mother,” said Harold. But he would not that his mother
had seen the smile which curled his lip as he passed along the hall and
through the garden towards the churchyard. There it faded into a look,
dark and yet mournful; which, as it turned from the dust beneath his
feet to the stars overhead, and then back again to the graves, seemed to
ask despairingly, at once of heaven and earth, for the solution of some
inward mystery.
While Harold preached, his mother and Captain Rothesay sat in the
parsonage and talked of their olden days, now faint as a dream. The
rising wind, which, sweeping over the wide champaign, came to moan in
the hill-side trees, seemed to sing the dirge of that long-past life.
Yet the heart of both, even of Angus Rothesay, throbbed to its memory,
as a Scottish heart ever does to that of home and the mountain-land.
Among other long unspoken names came that of Miss Flora Rothesay. “She
is an old woman now--a few years older than I; Harold visits her not
infrequently; and she and I correspond now and then, but we have not met
for many years.”
“Yet you have not forgotten her?”
“Do I ever forget?” said Alison, as she turned her face towards him. And
looking thereon, he felt that such a woman never could.
Their conversation, passing down the stream of time, touched on all that
was memorable in the life of both. She mentioned her husband--but merely
the two events, not long distant each from each, of their marriage and
his death.
“Your son is not like yourself--does he resemble Mr. Gwynne?” observed
Rothesay.
“In person, yes, a little; in mind--no! a thousand times no!” Then,
recollecting herself, she added, “It was not likely. Mr. Gwynne has
been dead so many years that my son”--it was always _my_ son--“has no
remembrance of his father.”
Alas! that there should be some whose memories are gladly suffered to
perish with the falling of the earth above them.
A thought like this passed through the mind of Angus Rothesay. “I
fancy,” said he, “that I once met Mr. Gwynne; he was”---
“My husband.” Mrs. Gwynne's tone suppressed all further remark--even all
recollection of the contemptible image that was intruding on her guest's
mind--an image of a young, roistering, fox-hunting fool. Rothesay looked
on the widow, and the remembrance passed away, or became sacred as
memory itself. And then the conversation glided as a mother's heart
would fain direct it--to her only son.
“He was a strange creature ever, was my Harold. In his childhood he
always teased me with his 'why and because;' he would come to the root
of everything, and would not believe anything that he could not quite
understand. Gradually I began to glory in this peculiarity, for I saw it
argued a mind far above the common order. Angus, you are a father; you
may be happy in your child, but you never can understand the pride of a
mother in an only son.”
While she talked, her countenance and manner brightened, and Captain
Rothesay saw again, not the serene, stern widow of Owen Gwynne, but the
energetic, impassioned Alison Balfour. He told her this.
“Is it so? Strange! And yet I do but talk to you as I often did when we
were young together.”
He begged her to continue--his heart warmed as it had not done for
many a day; and, to lead the way, he asked what chance had caused the
descendant of the Balfours to become an English clergyman?
“From circumstances. When Harold was very young, and we two lived
together in the poor Highland cottage where he was born, my boy made
an acquaintance with an Englishman, one Lord Arundale, a great student.
Harold longed to be a student too.”
“A noble desire.”
“I shared it too. When the thought came to me that my boy would be a
great man, I nursed it, cherished it, made it my whole life's aim. We
were not rich--I had not married for money”--and there was a faint show
of pride in her lip--“yet, Harold must go, as he desired, to an English
university. I said in my heart, 'He shall!' and he did.”
Angus looked at Mrs. Gwynne, and thought that a woman's will might
sometimes be as strong and daring as a man's.
Alison continued--“My son had only half finished his education when
fortune made the poor poorer. But Scotland and Cambridge, thank Heaven
were far distant I never told him one word--I lived--it matters little
how--I cared not! Our fortune lasted, as I had calculated it would, till
he had taken his degree, and left college rich in honours--and then”----
She ceased, and the light in her countenance faded. Angus Rothesay gazed
upon her as reverently as he had done upon the good angel of his boyish
days.
“I said you were a noble woman, Alison Balfour.”
“I was a mother, and I had a noble son.”
They sat a long time silent, looking at the fire, and listening to
the wind. There was a momentary interruption--a message from the young
clergyman, to say that he was summoned some distance to visit a sick
person.
“On such a stormy night as this!” said Angus Rothesay.
“Harold never fails in his duties,” replied the mother, with a smile.
Then turning abruptly to her guest--“You will let me talk, old friend,
and about him. I cannot often talk _to_ him, for he is so reserved--that
is, so occupied with his clerical studies. But there never was a better
son than my Harold.”
“I am sure of it,” said Captain Rothesay.
The mother continued--“Never shall I forget the triumph of his coming
home from Cambridge. Yet it brought a pang, too; for then first he
had to learn the whole truth. Poor Harold! it pained me to see him so
shocked and overwhelmed at the sight of our lowly roof and mean fare;
and to know that even these would not last us long. But I said to
him--'My son, what signifies it, when you can soon bring your mother to
your own home?' For he, already a deacon, had had a curacy offered him,
as soon as ever he chose to take priest's orders.”
“Then he had already decided on entering the Church?”
“He had chosen that career in his youth. Towards it his whole education
had tended. But,” she added, with a troubled look, “my old friend, I may
tell you one doubt, which I never yet breathed to living soul--I think
at this time there was a struggle in his mind. Perhaps his dreams of
ambition rose higher than the simple destiny of a country clergyman.
I hinted this to him, but he repelled me. Alas! he knew, as well as I,
that there was now no other path open for him.”
Mrs. Gwynne paused, and then went on, as though speaking more to herself
than to her listener.
“The time came for Harold to decide. I did not wonder at his
restlessness, for I knew how strong ambition must be in a man like him.
God knows I would have worked, begged, starved, rather than he should
be thus tried. I told him so the day before his ordination; but he
entreated me to be silent, with a look such as I never saw on his face
before--such as I trust in God I never may see again. I heard him all
night walking about his room; and the next morning he was gone ere I
rose. When he came back, he seemed quite excited with joy, embraced me,
told me I should never know poverty more, for that he was in priest's
orders, and we should go the next week to the curacy at Harbury.”
“And he has never repented?”
“I think not. He is not without the honours he desired; for his fame in
science is extending far beyond his small parish. He fulfils his duties
scrupulously; and the people respect him, though he sides with no party,
high-church or evangelical We abhor illiberality--my son and I.”
“That is clear, otherwise I had never seen Alison Balfour quitting the
kirk for the church.”
“Angus Rothesay,” said Mrs. Gwynne, with dignity, “I have learned,
throughout a long life, the lesson that trifling outward differences
matter little--the spirit of religion is its true life. This lesson
I have taught my son from his cradle; and where will you find a more
sincere, moral, or pious man than Harold Gwynne?”
“Where, indeed, mother?” echoed a voice, as Harold, opening the door,
caught her last words. “But come, no more o' that, an thou lovest me!”
“Harold!”