(_VERY FREELY ADAPTED FROM_ THOMAS HOOD.)
_Fond Mother_. I really take it vastly kind,
This visit, my dear creature!
A family likeness here you'll find.
(Like _hers_? Not in one feature!)
_Friendly Visitor_. Only too happy, I am sure,
To see the little darling,
Our family friendships _are_ so pure!
(They find effect in snarling.)
_Fond Mother_. Well, dear, with _your_ experience,
Your aid must be of value.
You've not yet given its help immense.
(Nor, if I know it, _shall_ you!)
_Friendly Visitor_. Ah! Good Nurse G-SCH-N, is she out,
That you the babe are dandling?
Sweet-tempered child and strong, no doubt!
(The brat wants careful handling.)
_Fond Mother_. G-SCH-N and D-KE are both at hand,
But I'm so proud to show it.
The weakness _you_ will understand
(Envious, and knows I know it!)
_Friendly Visitor_. Mothers must be as vigilant
As--say 'Bus-strikers' pickets.
It cries, dear! What does baby want?
(Half-starved, and has the rickets!)
_Fond Mother_. Which, think you, the best Infant's Food?
You see there are so many;
I know your judgment is so good!
(Not worth a single penny!)
_Friendly Visitor_. Well, dear, don't swaddle it too tight.
That ruins the digestion,
And--Forster's Food I've found work right.
(She'll relish _that_ suggestion!)
_Fond Mother_. Humph! Rather out of date, I fear!
You've slight experience--_lately_--
Next time you nurse you'll know, my dear!
(She'll like that home-thrust _greatly_!)
_Friendly Visitor_. Your nursing, dear, of course, is based
Upon my Nursery Manual.
The child looks _rayther_ peaky-faced.
(Not quite a hardy annual!)
_Fond Mother_. Think so? Look up, and laugh, my sweet,
Show NANA she's mistaken--
It quite begins to "feel its feet."
(With spite her soul is shaken!)
_Friendly Visitor_. I understand your family
Call it "The Changeling." Why so?
The family likeness _all_ must see.
(It squints with the left eye so!)
_Fond Mother_. Oh! there are always _some_ cross things
In _every_ Family Party.
_Your_ mother's heart has felt such stings!
(She'll think of JOE and HARTY!)
_Friendly Visitor_. Well, well, with my advice, my dear,
And lots of Liberal Tonic,
Your child we possibly may rear.
(That's one for Old Sardonic!)
_Fond Mother_. Oh! really you are quite _too_ kind!
Your own "Home-Rule Elixir"
Unfailing for your babes you find?
(Fancy _that_ dart will fix her!)
_Friendly Visitor_. You see we breed, and nurse, our own;
_We_ do not steal or borrow.
However, dear, I must be gone.
(To call again to-morrow!)
_Fond Mother_. What! must you go? Next, time no doubt.
You'll give more Liberal measure.
Nurse G. shall see you safely out,
(With most particular pleasure!)
_Friendly Visitor_. Don't trouble, dear! The bell I'll pull,
And, bid them call my cabby!
Good bye! The Babe's be-you-ti-ful!
(_A Flabby, Dabby, Babby!!!_)
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