Before the wedding the women of each party go and anoint the village
gods with oil and turmeric, worshipping them, and then similarly
anoint the bride and bridegroom at their respective houses for three
days. The bridegroom's head is shaved except for his scalp-lock;
he wears a silver necklet on his neck, puts lamp-black on his eyes,
and is dressed in new yellow and white clothes. Thus attired he goes
round and worships all the village gods and visits the houses of his
relatives and friends, who mark his forehead with rice and turmeric
and give him a silver piece. A list of the money thus received is
made and similar presents are returned to the donors when they have
weddings. The bridegroom goes to the wedding either in a litter or
on a horse, and must not look behind him. After being received at
the bride's village and conducted to his lodging, he proceeds to the
bride's house and strikes a grass mat hung before the house seven
times with a reed-stick. On entering the bride's house the bridegroom
is taken to worship her family gods, the men of the party usually
remaining outside. Then, as he goes through the room, one of the
women who has tied a long thread round her toe gets behind him and
measures his height with the thread without his seeing. She breaks
off the thread at his height and doubling it once or twice sews it
round the top of the bride's skirt, and they think that as long as
the bride wears this thread she will be able to make her husband do
as she likes. If the girls wish to have a joke they take one of the
bridegroom's shoes which he has left outside the house, wrap it up
in a piece of cloth, and place it on a shelf or in a cupboard, where
the family god would be kept, with two lamps burning before it. Then
they say to the bridegroom, 'Come and worship our household god';
and if he goes and does reverence to it they unwrap the cloth and
show him his own shoe and laugh at him. But if he has been to one or
two weddings and knows the joke he just gives it a kick. The bride's
younger brother steals the bridegroom's other shoe and hides it, and
will not give it back without a present of a rupee or two. The bride
and bridegroom are seated on wooden seats, and while the Brahman
recites texts, they make the following promises. The bridegroom
covenants to live with his wife and her children, to support them
and tell her all his concerns, consult her, make her a partner of
his religious worship and almsgiving, and be with her on the night
following the termination of her monthly impurity. The bride promises
to remain faithful to her husband, to obey his wishes and orders,
to perform her household duties as well as she can, and not to go
anywhere without his permission. The last promise of the bridegroom has
reference to the general rule among Hindus that a man should always
sleep with his wife on the night following the termination of her
menses because at this time she is most likely to conceive and the
prospect of a child being born must not be lost. The Shastras lay it
down that a man should not visit his wife before going into battle,
this being no doubt an instance of the common custom of abstinence from
conjugal intercourse prior to some important business or undertaking;
but it is stated that if on such an occasion she should have just
completed a period of impurity and have bathed and should desire him
to come in to her, he should do so, even with his armour on, because
by refusing, in the event of his being killed in battle, the chance of
a child being born would be finally lost. To Hindu ideas the neglect
to produce life is a sin of the same character, though in a minor
degree, as that of destroying life; and it is to be feared that it
will be some time before this ingrained superstition gives way to
any considerations of prudential restraint Some people say that for
a man not to visit his wife at this time is as great a sin as murder.