I am really ill. I was used to make the best of any little accidents
that befel me, for fear of making my then affectionate friends uneasy:
but now I shall make the worst of my indisposition, in hopes to obtain a
suspension of the threatened evil of Wednesday next. And if I do obtain
it, will postpone my appointment with Mr. Lovelace.
Betty has told them that I am very much indisposed. But I have no pity
from any body.
I believe I am become the object of every one's aversion; and that they
would all be glad if I were dead. Indeed I believe it. 'What ails the
perverse creature?' cries one:--'Is she love-sick?' another.
I was in the ivy summer-house, and came out shivering with cold, as
if aguishly affected. Betty observed this, and reported it.--'O no
matter!--Let her shiver on!--Cold cannot hurt her. Obstinacy will defend
her from harm. Perverseness is a bracer to a love-sick girl, and more
effectual than the cold bath to make hardy, although the constitution be
ever so tender.'
This was said by a cruel brother, and heard said by the dearer friends
of one, for whom, but a few months ago, every body was apprehensive at
the least blast of wind to which she exposed herself!
Betty, it must be owned, has an admirable memory on these occasions.
Nothing of this nature is lost by her repetition: even the very air with
which she repeats what she hears said, renders it unnecessary to ask,
who spoke this or that severe thing.