I have a letter from Mr. Lovelace, full of transports, vows, and
promises. I will send it to you enclosed. You'll see how 'he engages
in it for Lady Betty's protection, and for Miss Charlotte Montague's
accompanying me. I have nothing to do, but to persevere, he says, and
prepare to receive the personal congratulations of his whole family.'
But you'll see how he presumes upon my being his, as the consequence of
throwing myself into that lady's protection.
'The chariot and six is to be ready at the place he mentions. You'll see
as to the slur upon my reputation, about which I am so apprehensive, how
boldly he argues.' Generously enough, indeed, were I to be his; and had
given him to believe that I would.--But that I have not done.
How one step brings on another with this encroaching sex; how soon a
young creature, who gives a man the least encouragement, be carried
beyond her intentions, and out of her own power! You would imagine, by
what he writes, that I have given him reason to think that my aversion
to Mr. Solmes is all owing to my favour for him.
The dreadful thing is, that comparing what he writes from his
intelligencer of what is designed against me (though he seems not to
know the threatened day) with what my aunt and Betty assure me of, there
can be no hope for me, but that I must be Solmes's wife, if I stay here.
I had better have gone to my uncle Antony's at this rate. I should
have gained time, at least, by it. This is the fruit of his fine
contrivances!
'What we are to do, and how good he is to be: how I am to direct all his
future steps.' All this shews, as I said before, that he is sure of me.
However, I have replied to the following effect: 'That although I had
given him room to expect that I would put myself into the protection
of one of the ladies of his family; yet as I have three days to come,
between this and Monday, and as I still hope that my friends will
relent, or that Mr. Solmes will give up a point they will find
impossible to carry; I shall not look upon myself as absolutely bound
by the appointment: and expect therefore, if I recede, that I shall not
again be called to account for it by him. That I think it necessary
to acquaint him, that if my throwing myself upon Lady Betty Lawrance's
protection, as he proposed, he understands, that I mean directly to put
myself into his power, he is very much mistaken: for that there are many
point in which I must be satisfied; several matters to be adjusted, even
after I have left this house, (if I do leave it,) before I can think of
giving him any particular encouragement: that in the first place he must
expect that I will do my utmost to procure my father's reconciliation
and approbation of my future steps; and that I will govern myself
entirely by his commands, in every reasonable point, as much as if I had
not left his house: that if he imagines I shall not reserve to myself
this liberty, but that my withdrawing is to give him any advantages
which he would not otherwise have had; I am determined to stay where I
am, and abide the event, in hopes that my friends will still accept
of my reiterated promise never to marry him, or any body else, without
their consent.
This I will deposit as soon as I can. And as he thinks things are near
their crisis, I dare say it will not be long before I have an answer to
it.