Through the half open'd casement stream'd the light
Of the departing sun. The golden haze
Of the red western sky fell warm and bright
Into that chamber large and lone: the blaze
Touch'd slantingly curtain and couch, and threw
A glory over many an antique gem,
Won from the entombed cities that once grew
At the volcano's foot. Mingled with them
Stood crystal bowls, through which the broken ray
Fell like a shower of precious stones, and lay
Reflected upon marble; these were crown'd
With blushing flowers, fresh and glittering yet
With diamond rain-drops. On the crimson ground
A shining volume, clasp'd with gold and jet,
And broken petals of a passion-flower
Lay by the lady of this silent bower.
Her rippling hair fell from her pearly round
That strove to clasp its billowy curls: the light
Hung like a glory on their waves of gold.
Her velvet robe, in many a violet fold,
Like the dark pansy's downy leaf, was bound
With a gold zone, and clasp'd with jewels bright,
That glow'd and glanced as with a magic flame
Whene'er her measured breathing stirr'd her frame.
Upon her breast and shoulders lay a veil
Of curious needle-work, as pure and pale
As a fine web of ivory, wrought with care,
Through which her snowy skin show'd smooth and fair.
Upon the hand that propp'd her drooping head,
A precious emerald, like a fairy well,
Gleam'd with dark solemn lustre; a rich thread
Of rare round pearls--such as old legends tell
The Egyptian queen pledged to her Roman lord,
When in her cup a kingdom's price she pour'd,--
Circled each soft white arm. A painter well
Might have been glad to look upon her face,
For it was full of beauty, truth, and grace;
And from her lustrous eyes her spirit shone
Serene, and strong, and still, as from a throne.
_Friday, 7th._
A break. Found ---- in the breakfast-room. The morning was very
unpropitious; but I settled to ride at one, if it was tolerably fine
then. He remained pottering a long time: when he was gone, practised,
habited, went in, for a few minutes, to Mrs. ----. At one the horses
came; but mine was brought without a stirrup, so we had to wait, Lord
knows how long, till the blundering groom had ridden back for it. At
length we mounted. "Handsome is that handsome does," is verity; and,
therefore, pretty as was my steed, I wished its good looks and itself at
the devil, before I was halfway down Chestnut Street. It pranced, and
danced, and backed me once right upon the pavement. We took the Laurel
Hill road. The day was the perfection of gloom--the road six inches deep
in heavy mud. We walked the whole way out! my father got the cramp, and
lost his temper. At Laurel Hill we dismounted, and walked down to the
river side. How melancholy it all looked! the turbid rhubarby water, the
skeleton woods, the grey sky, and far winding away of the dark rocky
shores; yet it was fine even in this gloom, and wonderfully still. The
clouds did not move,--the water had not the faintest ripple,--the trees
did not stir a branch; the most perfect and profound trance seemed to
have fallen upon every thing. ---- and I scrambled down the rocks
towards the water, expatiating on the capabilities of this place, which
was once a country-seat, and with very little expense might be made a
very enchanting as well as a very comfortable residence; always
excepting, of course, the chance of fever and ague during the summer
months, when the whole of the banks of the Schuylkill, high and rocky as
they are, are considered so unhealthy, that the inhabitants are obliged
to leave their houses until the winter season, when the country
naturally loses half its attractions. At half-past three, we mounted,
and, crossing the river, returned home by a much better road. My horse,
however, was decidedly a brute,--pulled my arms to pieces, cantered with
the wrong leg foremost, trotted in a sort of scuttling fashion, that
rendered it utterly impossible to rise in the stirrup, and, instead of
walking, jogged the breath out of my body. I was fairly done up when we
reached home. Dressed, and dined; ---- dined with us. After dinner, went
and sat with Mrs. ----. So it seems Carolina is in a state of
convulsion. Reports have arrived that the Nullifiers and Unionists have
had a fight in Charleston, and that lives have been lost. "Bide a wee,"
as the Scotchman says; we talk a good deal on the other side the water
of matters that are far enough off; but as for America, the problem is
not yet solved--and this very crisis (a more important one than has yet
occurred in the political existence of this country) is threatening to
slacken the bonds of brotherhood between the states, and shake the
Union to its centre. The interests of the northern states are totally
different from, and in some respects opposite to, those of the southern
ones.
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
The tariff question is the point in debate; and the Carolinians have, it
seems, threatened to secede from the Union in consequence of the policy
pursued with regard to that. I was horrified at Dr. ----'s account of
the state of the negroes in the south. To teach a slave to read or write
is to incur a penalty either of fine or imprisonment. They form the
larger proportion of the population, by far; and so great is the dread
of insurrection on the part of the white inhabitants, that they are kept
in the most brutish ignorance, and too often treated with the most
brutal barbarity, in order to insure their subjection. Oh! what a
breaking asunder of old manacles there will be, some of these fine days;
what a fearful rising of the black flood; what a sweeping away, as by a
torrent, of oppressions and tyrannies; what a fierce and horrible
retaliation and revenge for wrong so long endured--so wickedly
inflicted. When I came in to tea, at half-past eight, found Dr. ----
there.
* * * * *
When he was gone, sang a song or two, like a crow in the quinsy.
* * * * *
_Wednesday, 12th._
After breakfast, went to rehearsal; after rehearsal, went to ----'s. It
poured with rain. Came home; put out things for the theatre; practised
for an hour; finished letter to ----; wrote journal; dined at three.
After dinner, went and sat with Mrs. ----. Sang to her all my old Scotch
ballads; read the first act of the Hunchback to her. At half-past five,
went to the theatre. Play, King John; house good: I played horribly. My
voice, too, was tired with my exertions, and cracked most awfully in the
midst of "thunder," which was rather bad.
* * * * *
* * * * *
I had finished early, and came home in my dress in order to show it to
Mrs. ----. She was just gone to bed, but admitted me.
* * * * *
Sat talking to her until my father came home. So "Old Hickory" means to
lick the refractory southerns: why they are coming to a civil war!
However, the grumblers haven't the means of fighting without
emancipating and arming their slaves. That they will not and dare not
do; the consequence will be, I suppose, that they will swallow the
affront, and submit.
_Thursday, 13th._
While dressing, had the pleasure of witnessing from my window a
satisfactory sample of the innate benevolence, gentleness, and humanity
of our nature: a child of about five years old, dragging a cat by a
string tied to its throat round and round a yard, till the poor beast
ceased to use its paws, and suffered itself to be trailed along the
ground, after which the little fiend set his feet upon it, and stamped
and kicked it most brutally. The blood came into my face; and, though
almost too far for hearing, I threw up the sash, and at the top of my
voice apostrophised the little wretch with "Hollo there! wicked, naughty
boy!" He seemed much puzzled to discover whence this appeal proceeded,
but not at all at a loss to apply it; for, after looking about with a
very conscience-stricken visage, he rushed into the house, dragging his
victim with him. I came down, fairly sick, to breakfast. After
despatching it, I put on my bonnet and walked round to the house where
this scene had taken place. I enquired for the child, describing his
appearance, and he was presently brought to me; when I sat down at the
foot of the stairs in the hall, and spent some time in expatiating on
the enormity of such proceedings to the little ruffian, who, it seems,
has frequently been corrected for similar ferocities before. I fear my
preachment will not avail much. Came home, put room to rights, practised
for an hour; got ready, and dawdled about most dreadfully, waiting for
D----, who had gone out with my father. At half-past twelve, set off
with her to the riding-school. It was full of women in long calico
skirts, and gay bonnets with flaunting feathers, riding like wretches;
some cantering, some trotting, some walking--crossing one another,
passing one another in a way that would have filled the soul of Fossard
with grief and amazement. I put on a skirt and my riding-cap, and
mounted a rough, rugged, besweated white-brown beast, that looked like
an old trunk more than any thing else, its coat standing literally on
end, like "quills upon the fretful porcupine," with heat and ill
condition. 'Tis vain attempting to ride like a Christian on these
heathen horses, which are neither broken, bitted, nor bridled properly;
and poor dumb _creturs_ have no more idea of what a horse ought to be,
or how a horse ought to behave, than so many cows. My hair, presently,
with the damp and the shaking, became perfectly straight. As I raised my
head, after putting it up under my cap, I beheld ---- earnestly
discoursing to D----. I asked for Tuesday's charger; and the school
having by degrees got empty, I managed to become a little better
acquainted with its ways and means. 'Tis a pretty little creature, but
'tis not half broken, is horribly ill ridden, and will never be good for
any thing--what a pity! At two o'clock I dismounted: ---- walked home
with us. Went in to see Mrs. ----: she seemed a good deal better, I
thought; sat some time with her. Mr. ---- has sent me back my book of
manuscript music: played and sang half through it. Came to my room;
tried on dresses for Lady Macbeth, and the Wonder, and dressed for
dinner. My father dined out. After dinner, went in to see Mrs. ----. Sat
some time with her mother, her chicks, and her young doctor of a cousin,
who is quite a civilised mortal. Poor Mrs. ---- was too ill to see me.
Came to the drawing-room, wrote journal, played and sang till tea-time.
After tea, read the history of Knickerbocker, whereat I was like to have
died, through the greate merrimente its rare and excellente pleasantries
did cause in me, insomuche that I lay on the sofa screaming, very much
like one lunaticke.
_Friday, 14th._
After breakfast, put out things for the theatre. Practised for an hour;
read and marked the Comedy of Errors, which is really great fun: perhaps
not funnier than Amphytrion, but the subject is more agreeable a good
deal. Read a canto in Dante; got ready for the riding-school; found ----
and Mr. ---- in the drawing-room. As we were going out, the gentlemen
did not remain long. When they were gone, D---- and I set off for the
riding-school. We were hardly there before ---- made his appearance: I
wonder what he'll do for an _interest_, by the by, when we are gone.
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
The school was quite empty, so we had it all to ourselves. D---- mounted
up upon a detestable shambling brute, that wouldn't go _no how_. I had a
fancy for making my little fiery charger leap over the bar, and made Mr.
---- put it down for me. The beast had no idea of such saltatory
proceedings, and jerked himself over it three times most abominably. The
fourth time I pushed him at it, he jumped, and I jumped too, out of the
saddle on to my feet, having lighted down very comfortably at the
horse's head with the reins in my hand, neither hurt nor frightened.
This is the first time a horse ever had me off. I got on again, but
declined leaping any more. At a quarter to three we returned home.
---- walked with us. At the corner of Sansom Street, met young ----.
Heaven bless ---- from a challenge! Came home; dined: after dinner, went
in and sat with Mrs. ---- till coffee-time. Showed her my dresses, and
read her a scene or two of the Hunchback. Went to the theatre at
half-past five. Play, the Hunchback--the house was literally crammed. I
played very well, except being out in my town scene--an unwonted
occurrence with me. After the play, came home, supped, and read the
Wonder, which I thought wondrous dull.
_Saturday, 15th._
If I were to write a history of Philadelphia, according to the profound
spirit of investigation for which modern tourists are remarkable, I
should say that it was a peculiarity belonging to its climate, that
Saturday is invariably a wet day. At twelve, went to rehearsal, after
putting out things for the theatre. Had a long talk with Mr. ---- about
Pasta, the divine,--the only reality that ever I beheld that was as
fair, as grand, as glorious as an imaginary being. Shall I ever forget
that woman in Medea? I am thankful I have seen her. After rehearsal,
called at Mr. ----'s. Saw and carried off his head of me in Juliet.
Certainly the resemblance between myself and Mrs. Siddons must be very
strong; for this painting might almost have been taken for a copy of
Harlowe's sketch of my aunt in Lady Macbeth: 'tis very strange and
unaccountable. Came home; wrote journal: went and sat with Mrs. ----
till dinner-time. After dinner, went and sat with her again till
coffee-time. Was introduced to Dr. ----, whom I liked very much.
* * * * *
* * * * *
Showed her my dress and my bracelets. Had a long discussion about the
precedence of one lady before another among the nobility of European
courts, whereat her republican pride seemed highly offended. If Clay
_did_, as Dr. ---- describes, pass before titled men, at a dinner in
England, with his hands in his breeches' pockets, it only follows thence
that he was really ill bred, and would be thought vulgar if he did it
unwittingly, and absurd if he did it intentionally. Went to the theatre
at half-past five. The house was wonderful, considering the weather: the
play was Fazio. I played pretty well: my dress was _splendid_.
_Sunday, 16th._
Had only time to swallow a mouthful of breakfast, and off to church;
where I heard about as thorough a cock and bull sermon as ever I hope to
be edified withal. What shameful nonsense the man talked! and all the
time pretending to tell us what God had done, what he was doing, and
what he intended to do next, as if he went up into heaven and saw what
was going on there, every five minutes. Came home; sat with Mrs. ----
for a long time: I am very fond of her.
* * * * *
* * * * *
Came to my own room, and studied Violante till dinner-time. How tiresome
this pointless prose is to batter into one's head. After dinner, went
and sat with Mrs. ---- till near tea-time, when I came to the
drawing-room. Presently, Mr. ---- and Mr. ---- called, also Dr. ----. I
went to my father's room to apprise him of this invasion of the Goths,
and found him very unwell, and labouring under a severe cold. He would
not come down; so D---- and I had to entertain these interesting youths
what fashion we best might. She gave them tea, and I gave them music,
till half-past ten, when they departed.
_Monday, 17th._
It poured with rain like the very mischief: a sort of continual
gushing down from the clouds, combining all the vehemence of a
thunder shower with all the pertinacity of one of our own November
drizzles--delightful! Went to rehearse Macbeth. Had a delightful palaver
with Mr. ----, who knows all the music that ever was writ, and all the
singers that ever sang, and worships Pasta as I do. Came home; put out
things for the theatre: dined at three. After dinner, went and sat with
Mrs. ---- till coffee-time. At half-past five, went to the theatre. In
spite of the rain, the house was very full; and in all my life I never
saw so large an assembly of people so perfectly and breathlessly still
as they were during several of our scenes. I played like a very clever
girl as I am; but it was about as much like Lady Macbeth as the Great
Mogul. My father laboured his part too much.
_Tuesday, 18th._
Received letters; one from dear ----, and one from ----. They did as
letters from England always do by me,--threw me into a perfect nervous
fever.
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
After breakfast, went to rehearse the Wonder. Called in on my way on Mr.
----, who is painting a portrait of my father. Saw one or two lovely
women's pictures. I wish he would go to England: I think it would answer
his purpose very well. At two, went to the riding-school: rode till
half-past three. The day was bitter cold, with a piercing wicked wind
riding through the grey sky. D---- and I walked to pay sundry calls. Met
----, whom we had not seen for two or three days--a most unusual
circumstance. He walked home with us. D---- and I dined _tête-à-tête_.
On returning home, I found a most lovely nosegay of real, delicious,
fragrant flowers. Sweet crimson buds of the faint-breathing monthly
rose; bright vivid dark green myrtle; the honey Daphne Odora, with its
clusters of pinky-white blossoms; and the delicate bells of the tall
white jasmine,--all sweet, and living, and fresh, as at midsummer: I was
blissful! After dinner, I went in to Mrs. ----. Came back to the
drawing-room. ----, who had taken the hint about our being alone in the
evening, came in. I began making him sing, and taught him the Leaf and
the Fountain: his voice sounded like when we were nearer home.
* * * * *
* * * * *
Presently Mr. ---- was announced. He was the author of the flowers.
* * * * *
_Wednesday, 19th._
After breakfast, ---- called.
* * * * *
* * * * *
Went to rehearsal,--afterwards, to the riding-school. The school was
quite empty, and I alone. The boy brought me my horse, and I mounted by
means of a chair. As I was cantering along, amusing myself with
cogitations various, ---- came in. He stayed the whole time I rode. I
settled with him about riding to-morrow, and came home to dinner. After
dinner, went in to see Mrs. ----: Dr. ---- was there, who is a
remarkably nice man. She is a very delightful person, with a great deal
of intellect, and a wonderful quantity of fortitude and piety, and a
total absence of knowledge of the world, except through books.
* * * * *
* * * * *
Her children enchant me, and her care of them enchants me too. She is an
excellent person, with a heart overflowing with the very best affections
our nature is capable of, fulfilled, I think, to the uttermost.
* * * * *
* * * * *
Stayed with her till time to go to the theatre. The house was very full:
the play was the Wonder--my first time of acting Violante. My dress was
not finished till the very last moment,--and then, oh, horror! was so
small that I could not get into it. It had to be pinned upon me; and
thus bebundled, with the dread of cracking my bodice from top to bottom
every time I moved, and the utter impossibility of drawing my breath,
from the narrow dimensions into which it squeezed me, I went on to play
a new part. The consequence was that I acted infamously, and for the
first time in my life was horribly imperfect--out myself and putting
every body else out. Between every scene my unlucky gown had to be
pinned together; and in the laughing scene, it took the hint from my
admirable performance, and facetiously grinned in an ecstasy of
amusement till it was fairly open behind, displaying, I suppose, the
lacing of my stays, like so many teeth, to the admiring gaze of the
audience; for, as I was perfectly ignorant of the circumstance, with my
usual easy _nonchalance_, I persisted in turning my back to the folk,
in spite of all my father's pulls and pushes, which, as I did not
comprehend, I did not by any means second either. ---- was at the play,
also Dr. ----, also Henry Clay, who was received with cheers and
plaudits manifold. Came home in my dress, and went in to show it to Mrs.
---- and her mother, who were both in bed, but marvellously edified by
my appearance.
_Thursday, 20th._
The day was beautifully brilliant, clear, and cold--winter, but winter
in dazzling array of sunshine and crystal; blue skies, with light
feathery streaks of white clouds running through them; dry, crisp, hard
roads, with the delicate rime tipping all the ruts with sparkling
jewellery; and the waters fresh, and bright, and curling under the keen
breath of the arrow-like wind. After breakfast, ---- called. Walked out
with him to get a cap and whip for D----. The latter he insisted on
making her a present of, and a very pretty one indeed it was, with a
delicate ivory handle, and a charming persuading lash. Went in for a
short time to Mrs. ----, who entertained herself with letting all my
hair down about my ears, and pulling it all manner of ways. At twelve
habited, and helped to equip dear D----, who really looked exceedingly
nice in her jockey habiliments. Went to the school, where we found ----
waiting for us. Mounted and set forth. We rode out to Laurel Hill. The
road was not very good, but no mud; and the warm gleesome sunlight fell
mellowly over the lovely undulations of the land, with their patches of
green cedar trees, and threadbare cloak of leafless woods, through which
the little birds were careering merrily, as the reviving sunshine came
glowingly down upon the world, like a warm blessing. Passed that bright
youth, Mr. ----, on the road, riding very like an ass on horseback. When
we reached Laurel Hill, we dismounted, tied up the horses, slacked their
girths, and walked first up to that interesting wooden monument, where I
inscribed my initials on our first ride thither. Afterwards, ---- and I
scrambled down the rocks to the river side, which D---- declined doing,
_'cause vy?_--she'd have had to climb up again. The water was like a
broad dazzling river of light, and had a beautiful effect, winding away
in brightness that the eye could scarce endure, between its banks,
which, contrasted by the sunny stream, and blue transparent sky,
appeared perfectly black. As I bent over a fine _bluff_ (as they here
call any mass of rock standing isolated), I espied below me a natural
rocky arch, overhanging the river, all glittering with pure long diamond
icicles. Thither ---- convoyed me, and broke off one of these wintry
gems for me. It measured about two feet long, and was as thick at the
root as my wrist. I never saw any thing so beautiful as these pendant
adornments of the silver-fingered ice god. Toiled up to the house again,
where, after brushing our habits, we remounted our chargers, and came
home. The river was most beautiful towards the bridge that they are
building: the unfinished piers of which have a very pretty effect,
almost resembling their very opposite, a ruin. The thin pale vapour of
the steam-engine, employed in some of the works, rising from the blue
water, and rolling its graceful waves far along the dark rocky shore,
had a lovely fairy-like look, which even drew forth the admiration of
----, who, from sundry expressions which have occasionally fallen from
him, I suspect to be rather well endowed with ideality. Reached home at
half-past four. My father dined out. It was past ----'s dinner-time; so
we invited him to stay and dine with us. After dinner, we fell somehow
or another into a profound theological discussion; ---- suddenly
proposing for my solution the mysterious doctrine of the inherent sin of
our nature, and its accompanying doom, death,--inherited from one man's
sin, and one man's punishment. I am not fond of discoursing upon these
subjects. 'Tis long since I have arrived at the conviction that the less
we suffer our thoughts to dwell upon what is vague and mysterious in our
most mysterious faith, and the more we confine our attention and our
efforts to that part of it which is practical and clear as the noon-day,
the better it will be for our minds here, and our souls hereafter.
Surely they are not wise who seek to penetrate the unfathomed counsels
of God, whilst their own natures, moral, mental, nay, even physical,
have depths beyond the sounding of their plummet line. ---- spoke in
perfect sincerity and simplicity of the difficulty he found in believing
that which was so "hard a saying;" and, as there was not the slightest
particle of levity or ridicule in his manner, I spoke as earnestly as I
felt and always feel upon this subject,--very strenuously advising him
not to strain his comprehension upon matters which baffle human
endeavour, which, after all our wanderings and weary explorings, still
lead us back to the wide boundless waste of uncertainty; concluding by
exhorting him to read his Bible, say his prayers, and go to church if
he could,--or, if he could not, at all events to be as good as he could.
While we were at tea, young ---- and Dr. ---- came in. They put me down
to the piano, and I continued to sing until past eleven o'clock, when,
somebody looking at a watch, there was a universal exclamation of
surprise, the piano was shut down, the candles put out, the gentlemen
vanished, and I came to bed.