Go Ahead.
When we resumed our conversation, the Clockmaker said,
"I guess we are the greatest nation on the face of the
airth, and the most enlightened too." This was rather
too arrogant to pass unnoticed, and I was about replying,
that whatever doubts there might be on that subject,
there could be none whatever that they were the most
MODEST; when he continued "we go ahead," the Novascotians
go "astarn." Our ships go ahead of the ships of other
folks, our steam boats beat the British in speed, and so
do our stage coaches; and I reckon a real right down New
York trotter might stump the univarse for going "ahead."
But since we introduced the Rail Roads if we don't go
"ahead" its a pity. We never fairly knew what going the
whole hog was till then; we actilly went ahead of ourselves,
and that's no easy matter I tell you. If they only had
edication here, they might learn to do so too, but they
don't know nothin. You undervalue them, said I, they have
their College and Academies, their grammar schools and
primary institutions, and I believe there are few among
them who cannot read and write.
I guess all that's nothin, said he. As for Latin and
Greek, we don't valy it a cent; we teach it, and so
we do painting and music, because the English do, and
we like to go ahead on em, even in them are things. As
for reading, its well enough for them that has nothing
to do, and writing is plaguy apt to bring a man to
States-prison, particularly if he writes his name so
like another man as to have it mistaken for his'n.
Cyphering is the thing--if a man knows how to cypher,
he is sure to grow rich. We are a 'calculating' people,
we all cypher.
A horse that wont go ahead, is apt to run back, and the
more you whip him the faster he goes astarn. That's jist
the way with the Nova Scotians; they have been running back
so fast lately, that they have tumbled over a BANK or two,
and nearly broke their necks; and now they've got up and
shook themselves, they swear their dirty clothes and bloody
noses are all owing to the BANKS. I guess if they wont look
ahead for the future, they'll larn to look behind, and see
if there's a bank near hand em.
A Bear always goes down a tree STARN FOREMOST. He is a
cunning critter, he knows tante safe to carry a heavy
load over his head, and his rump is so heavy, he don't
like to trust it over hisn, for fear it might take a
lurch, and carry him heels over head, to the ground; so
he lets his starn down first, and his head arter. I wish
the Blue Noses would find as good an excuse in their
rumps for running backwards as he has. But the bear
'CYPHERS;' he knows how many pounds his hams weigh, and
he 'CALCULATES' if he carried them up in the air, they
might be top heavy for him.
If we had this Province we'd go to work and 'cypher' right
off. Halifax is nothing without a river or back country;
add nothing to nothing, and I guess you have nothing
still--add a Rail Road to the Bay of Fundy, and how much
do you get? That requires cyphering--it will cost $300,000,
or 75,000 pounds your money--add for notions omitted in
the addition column, one third, and it makes even money
--100,000 pounds. Interest at 5 per cent 5,000 pounds a
year. Now turn over the slate and count up freight--I
make it upwards of 25,000 pounds a year. If I had you at
the desk, I'd shew you a bill of items.
Now comes "SUBTRACTION," deduct cost of engines, wear
and tear, and expenses, and what not, and reduce it for
shortness down to 5,000 pounds a year, the amount of
interest. What figures have you got now? you have an
investment that pays interest, I guess, and if it don't
pay more then I don't know chalk from cheese. But suppose
it don't, and that it only yields two and a half per
cent, (and it requires good cyphering, I tell you, to
say how it would act with folks that like going astarn
better than going ahead,) what would them are wise ones
say then? Why the critters would say it wont pay; but I
say the sum ant half stated. Can you count in your head?
Not to any extent, said I. Well, that's an etarnal pity,
said the Clockmaker, for I should like to show you Yankee
Cyphering. What is the entire real estate of Halifax
worth, at a valeation? I really cannot say. Ah, said he,
I see you don't cypher, and Latin and Greek wont do; them
are people had no rail-roads. Well, find out, and then
only add ten per cent to it, for increased value, and if
it don't give the cost of a rail-road, then my name is
not Sam Slick. Well, the land between Halifax and Ardoise
is worth --- nothing, add 5 per cent to that, and send
the sum to the College, and ax the students how much it
comes to. But when you get into Hants County, I guess
you have land worth coming all the way from Boston to
see. His Royal Highness the King, I guess, hasn't got
the like in his dominions. Well, add 15 per cent to all
them are lands that border on Windsor Basin, and 5 per
cent to what butts on Basin of Mines, and then, what do
you get? A pretty considerable sum I tell you--but its
no use to give you the CHALKS, if you can't keep the
TALLIES. Now we will lay down the schoolmaster's assistant,
and take up another book every bit and grain as good as
that, although these folks affect to sneer at it--I mean
human natur. Ah! said I, a knowledge of that was of
great service to you, certainly, in the sale of your
clock to the old Deacon: let us see how it will assist
you now. What does a clock want that's run down? said
he. Undoubtedly to be wound up, I replied; I guess you've
hit it this time. The folks of Halifax have run down,
and they'll never go to all eternity, till they are wound
up into motion: the works are all good, and it is plaguy
well cased and set--it only wants a KEY. Put this railroad
into operation, and the activity it will inspire into
business, the new life it will give the place, will
surprise you. Its like lifting a child off its crawling,
and putting him on his legs to run--see how the little
critter goes ahead arter that. A kurnel, (I don't mean
a Kurnel of militia, for we don't valy that breed o'
cattle nothing--they do nothing but strut about and
screech all day, like peacocks,) but a kurnel of grain,
when sowed, will stool into several shoots, and each
shoot hear many kurnels, and will multiply itself thus
--4 times 1 is 4, and 4 times 25 is a hundred, (you see
all natur cyphers, except the Blue Noses.) Jist so, this
here rail-road will not perhaps beget other rail-roads,
but it will beget a spirit of enterprise, that will beget
other useful improvements. It will enlarge the sphere
and the means of trade, open new sources of traffic and
supply--develop resources--and what is of more value
perhaps than all--beget motion. It will teach the folks
that go astarn or stand stock still, like the statehouse
in Boston, (though they do say the foundation of that
has moved a little this summer) not only to go "AHEAD,"
BUT TO NULLIFY TIME AND SPACE.
Here his horse (who, feeling the animation of his master,
had been restive of late) set off at a most prodigious
rate of trotting. It was some time before he was reined
up. When I overtook him, the Clockmaker said, "this old
Yankee horse, you see, understands our word 'go ahead'
better nor these Blue Noses."
What is it, he continued, what is it that 'fetters' the
heels of a young country, and hangs like 'a poke' around
its neck? what retards the cultivation of its soil, and
the improvement of its fisheries?--the high price of
labor, I guess. Well, what's a rail-road? The substitution
of mechanical for human and animal labor, on a scale as
grand as our great country. Labor is dear in America,
and cheap in Europe. A rail-road, therefore, is
comparatively no manner of use to them, to what it is to
us--it does wonders there, but it works miracles here.
There it makes the old man younger, but here it makes a
child a giant. To us it is river, bridge, road and canal,
all one. It saves what we han't got to spare, men,
horses, carts, vessels, barges, and what's all in all--time.
Since the creation of the Univarse, I guess it's the
greatest invention, arter man. Now this is what I call
"cyphering" arter human natur, while figures are cyphering
arter "the assistant." These two sorts of cyphering make
idecation--and you may depend on't Squire, there is
nothing like folks cyphering, if they want to "go ahead."