FILIAL PIETY.
Next to your duty to God comes your duty to your _parents_; and you
can never form an excellent, amiable, and lovely character, unless the
foundation of it is laid in _filial piety_, as well as in piety towards
God. Solomon says to the young, “Hear the instruction of thy father,
and forsake not the law of thy mother; for they shall be an ornament
of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.” Nothing will make
you appear so lovely in the eyes of others as a dutiful behaviour
towards your parents; and nothing will make you appear so unamiable
and unlovely as a disrespectful, disobedient carriage towards them.
No ornament sits so gracefully upon youth as filial piety; no outward
adorning can compare with it.
_Filial piety_ calls into exercise feelings towards your parents,
similar to those which piety towards God calls into exercise towards
him; such as esteem and veneration of his character, love to his
person, confidence in his word, submission to his authority, and
penitence for offences against him. When the heart is habituated to
the exercise of these feelings towards parents, it is prepared the
more readily to exercise them towards God. The promises which God has
made to those who honor their parents, and his threatenings against
those who dishonor them, are similar to those which he has made
respecting honor and obedience to himself. You owe it, therefore,
to God, to exercise filial piety, because he has required it, and
because it is one of the means he employs to cultivate piety towards
himself. _Gratitude_, also, should lead to filial piety, as well as
to piety towards God; for what God is to man, only in a lower sense,
the parent is to his child. Your parents are, under God, the authors
of your being. The greater part of parents’ lives is spent in rearing,
supporting, and educating their children. For this they wear out their
strength in anxious care and toil; they watch beside the bed of their
children when they are sick, with tender solicitude and sleepless
vigilance; they labor to provide for them. But good parents are, most
of all, anxious that their children should grow up intelligent and
virtuous, pious and happy. There is no being but God to whom children
are so much indebted as to a faithful parent; and almost all the
blessings that God bestows upon them come through their parents.
Filial piety has great influence on future character. One who has never
been in the habit of submitting to others, will always be headstrong
and self-willed; and such a character nobody loves. You cannot always
do as you please; and, if such is your disposition, you will always be
unhappy when your will is crossed. You will be unwilling to submit to
necessary restraints, and this will irritate, and keep you in misery;
for you will never see the time in your life when you will be so
entirely independent of others that you can have your own way in every
thing. Even the king on his throne cannot do this. But, if you have
always been in the habit of submitting to your parents, these necessary
restraints will be no burden. If, then, you would be respected,
beloved, and happy, when you grow up and take your place in society,
you must _honor your parents_. Cultivate the habit of submission to
their authority; of respectful attention to their instructions; and of
affection and reverence to their persons. These are the habits that
will make you respected, beloved, and happy. But as God has joined
a curse to parental impiety, so he makes it punish itself. And thus
you will find that it is generally followed with the most dreadful
consequences. Of this I might give many painful examples; but the
narratives would swell my book to an immoderate size.
The whole duty of children to parents, is expressed by God himself in
one word--HONOR. This word is chosen, with great felicity, to express
all the various duties of children toward their parents. There is a
great deal of meaning in this little word, _honor_.
Do you ask, “_How shall I honor my parents?_” In the first place, you
must honor them _in your heart_, by loving and reverencing them, and
by cultivating a submissive, obedient disposition. It is not honoring
your parents, to indulge an unsubmissive, turbulent spirit. To be angry
with your parents, and to feel that their lawful commands are hard or
unreasonable, is dishonoring them. The authority which God has given
your parents over you is for your good, that they may restrain you from
evil and hurtful practices, and require you to do what will be, in the
end, for your benefit. When they restrain you, or require you to do
what is not pleasing to you, they have a regard to your best interests.
To be impatient of restraint, and to indulge hard feelings toward them,
is doing them great dishonor. If you could read the hearts of your
parents, and see what a struggle it costs them to interfere with your
inclinations, you would feel differently. But these rebellious feelings
of yours are not only against your parents, but against God, who gave
them this authority over you.
Children also honor or dishonor their parents by their _words_. You
honor them, by addressing them in respectful language, and in a tone
of voice indicating reverence and submission, giving them those titles
that belong to their superior station. An example of this we have in
the answer of Samuel to what he supposed the call of Eli,--“Here am
I,”--a form of speech used by servants to their masters, and implying
attention to what was said, and a readiness to execute what was
commanded. But parents are dishonored, when their children answer them
gruffly, or speak in a sharp, positive, angry, or self-important tone;
or when they neglect to accompany their address with the usual titles
of respect, but speak out bluntly, “_Yes_,” or “_No_.” This shows the
state of the heart. And I think the reason why it is so difficult, in
these days, to teach children to say, “Yes, sir,” “No, ma’am,” &c., is,
that they do not feel in their hearts the respect which these terms
imply. You will perceive, by this remark, that I have no respect for
the notion which prevails, in some quarters, that these expressions are
not genteel.
Children likewise dishonor their parents, when they answer back, and
argue against their commands, or excuse themselves for not obeying. It
is as much as to say, they are wiser than their parents--which is doing
them a great dishonor. To speak to them in disrespectful, reproachful,
or passionate language, or to speak of them or their authority in such
language to others, is also a great offence against their honor. Under
the law of Moses, God punished this offence in the same manner that
he did blasphemy against himself:--“He that curseth his father or his
mother shall surely be put to death.” This shows what a great offence
it is in his sight.
Another way in which you honor your parents is, by giving respectful
attention to their instruction and counsels. God has committed your
instruction and training to them; and when they teach or advise you
according to the Scripture, their instructions are the voice of God to
you. If you despise their instruction, you cast contempt upon God, who
speaks through them, and who says, “My son, hear the instruction of thy
father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.” It is very natural for
children to wish to follow their own inclinations. The impetuosity
of youth would hurry them on, heedlessly, in the high-road to ruin.
And, often, they despise the wholesome instruction and advice of their
parents, as only designed to interfere with their pleasures, and
abridge their enjoyments; while, in truth, their parents look beyond
_mere pleasure_, to that which is of greater importance. They look upon
these things in the light which age and experience has given them. If
you were going to a strange place, in a way with which you were not
acquainted, and should meet one that had been that way before, you
would put confidence in what he should tell you of the way, and follow
his directions. Your parents have passed through the period of life on
which you are now entering, and they know the way. You will do well to
confide in them, and abide by their instructions. If you neglect to
do so, you will be sure to get into difficulty. The path of life is
beset, on every side, with by-paths, leading astray; and these by-paths
are full of snares and pit-falls, to catch the unwary, and plunge them
into ruin. Your parents have become acquainted with these ways, and
know their dangers. If they are good people, and understand their duty
to you, they will warn you against them; and it will be the height of
folly for you to disregard their warnings. Multitudes, by doing so,
have rushed heedlessly on to ruin.
You must honor your parents, also, by a _prompt and cheerful obedience_
to their lawful commands. I say _lawful_, because no one ought to obey
a command to do what is positively wrong. If a wicked parent should
command his child to break the Sabbath, to lie, or to steal, or to
break any of God’s commands, it would be the child’s duty to refuse,
and meekly submit to the punishment which the parent might inflict. It
is not often that such things happen among us; but our missionaries in
Constantinople have related two instances that are in point. Two little
Armenian girls had learned to read, and obtained from the missionaries
some ideas of Christian morality. A person knocked at the door of their
house, and their father, not wishing to see him, told one of them to go
and tell the person that he was _not at home_. “That would be telling
a lie,” said the daughter. “What then?” said the father; “it is a
very little thing. You have only to say that I am not at home.” “But,
father,” she replied, “the Bible says it is wicked to tell lies, and I
cannot tell a lie.” He was angry, and called his other daughter, and
told her to go. She replied, “Father, I cannot, for it is wicked to
lie.” These children did right in refusing to obey such a command. But
in no other case, except when told to do what is wrong, will a child be
justified in refusing to obey.
Obedience must be _prompt_ and _cheerful_. Your parents are not
honored, when obedience is delayed to suit your convenience; nor when
you _answer back_, or try to _reason against_ your parents’ commands,
or plead for delay, that you may first finish your own work. A parent
who is honored will never have to repeat the same command. Some
children are bent on having their own way, and attempt to carry their
point by showing their parents that their way is best; which is the
same as saying to them that they are more ignorant than their children.
Neither is _sullen obedience_ honoring your parents. Some children, who
dare not disobey their parents, will go about doing what is required
of them with great reluctance, with perhaps a sullen expression of
the countenance, a flirt, an angry step, or a slam of the door, or
some other show of passion. Such conduct is a grief to parents, and
an offence against God, who will not count that as obedience, which
is not done cheerfully. But if you truly honor your parents from the
heart, you will not wait for their _commands_. You will be always
ready to obey the slightest intimation of their wishes. It is a great
grief to a parent, when, out of respect to his child’s feelings, he
has expressed his _wish_, to be obliged to add his _command_, before
the thing will be done. But filial piety never appears so amiable and
lovely as when it anticipates the wishes of parents, and supersedes the
necessity of expressing those wishes in advice or commands.
If you honor your parents in your heart, you will pay an equal regard
to their counsels and commands, whether they are present or absent. If
you cast off their authority as soon as you are out of their sight, you
greatly dishonor them. Such conduct shows that you do not honor them at
all in your heart, but obey them only when you cannot disobey without
suffering for it. But if you keep their authority always present with
you, then you will do them great honor; for you show that they have
succeeded in fixing in your heart a deep-seated principle of reverence
and affection for them. If you truly honor your parents _in your
heart_, you will obey them as well when they are absent as present. The
parents’ authority and honor are always present with the good child.
Children, likewise, honor or dishonor their parents in their _general
behavior_. If they are rude and uncivil, they reflect dishonor upon
their parents; for people say, they have not been trained and
instructed at home. But when their behavior is respectful, correct,
pure, and amiable, it reflects honor upon the parents. People will
judge of the character of your parents by your behavior. Are you
willing to hear your parents reproachfully spoken of? No, your cheek
would glow with indignation at the person who should speak ill of your
father or your mother. But you speak evil of them, in your conduct,
every time you do any thing that reflects dishonor upon them in the
eyes of others. The blame of your conduct will be thrown back upon your
parents.
But the true way to honor your parents, at all times and in all
circumstances, is, to have your heart right with God. If you have true
piety of heart toward God, you will show piety toward your parents; for
you will regard the authority of his commandment, and delight in doing
what will please him. The fear of God, dwelling in your heart, will
lead you to reverence all his commands, and none more continually and
conscientiously than the one which requires you to honor your parents.
Every thing that you do for them will be done, “not with eye-service,
as men-pleasers, but with good will, doing service as to God, and not
to man.”
Boys of a certain age are frequently disposed to show their importance,
by assuming to be wiser than their parents. They call in question the
wisdom of their parents’ directions, and seek, in every possible way,
to set up their own will. This is particularly the case with respect
to the authority of the mother; they _feel too big to be governed by a
woman_; and if obliged to obey, they will be sullen about it. Instead
of requiting her care, by studying to be helpful,--anticipating her
wishes,--they seem to lose all sense of obligation, and regard what she
requires of them as an unreasonable interference with their pleasures;
and so, they will meet her requests in a snarling, snappish manner,
like an impertinent young mastiff, slighting, in every possible way,
the thing to be done. And if, in the Providence of God, such boys are
left without a father, they take advantage of the widowhood of their
mother, to resist her authority. I can scarcely think of any thing more
_unmanly_ than this. It is _mean_ and _despicable_. The mother, by all
the ties of gratitude, in these desolate circumstances, is entitled to
the kindness, assistance, and protection, of her sons; and to rebel
against her authority, because she may not have strength to enforce it,
manifests a very _black heart_. A young man, who, in any circumstances,
will treat his mother ill, is to be despised; but one who will take
advantage of the helplessness of her widowhood, to cast off her just
authority, is to be detested and abhorred.
Nothing has, perhaps, a greater influence upon the future character
of the _man_ than the trait of which we are speaking. The boy that is
obedient and submissive to parental authority will make a good citizen.
He has learned to _obey_, from his childhood; and he will be obedient
to the laws of his country; he will be respected in society, and may
rise to posts of honor. But the disobedient boy, who is turbulent and
ungovernable at home, will make a bad member of society. Never having
learned how to obey, he will be disobedient to the laws, and incur
their penalty; he will be found in evil company; engaged in mobs and
riots; making disturbance at fires, &c., till, perhaps, he will land
at last in prison, or be launched into eternity from the gallows. I
might easily fill the rest of this volume with the detail of cases,
in which a career of crime, ending in prison or on the gallows, has
been commenced in disobedience to parents, and in very many cases,
disobedience to widowed mothers.