The first day of the second month, 1680, it pleased the Lord to
afflict her with a violent fever, that brought her very low in a
little time, and great was her exercise of spirit, as to her
condition and state with God, many times weeping when she was
alone.... She said, 'If this distemper do not abate, I must die,
but my soul shall go to Eternal Joy, Eternal, Eternal and
Everlasting Life and Peace with my God for ever: Oh! praises,
praises to Thy Majesty, Oh, my God! who helpeth me to go through
with patience, what I am to endure.' Then after some time she
said. 'Friends, we must all go hence one after another, and they
that live the longest know and endure the greatest sorrow:
therefore, O Lord, if it be Thy will, take me to Thyself, that
my soul may rest in peace with Thee, and not any one to see me
here any more. Oh! praises, praises be unto Thy holy Name for
ever in Thy will being done with me, to take me to Thyself,
where I shall be in heavenly joy, yea, in heavenly joy for ever
and for evermore.'...
And many times would she be praying to the Lord day and night,
'O Lord, lay no more upon me, than Thou givest me strength to
bear, and go through with patience, that Thy will may be done,
that Thy will may be done' (many times together). 'Oh! help me,
help me, O my God! that I may praise Thy holy Name for ever.'
And so continued, very often praising the Name of the Lord with
joyful sounds, and singing high praises to His holy Name for
ever and for evermore; she being much spent with lifting up her
voice in high praises to God, through fervency of spirit, and
her body being weak, her Grandfather went into the room, and
desired her to be as still as possibly she could, and keep her
mind inward, and stayed upon the Lord, and see if she could have
a little rest and sleep: she answered, 'Dear Grandfather, I
shall die, and I cannot but praise the Name of the Lord whilst I
have a being; I do not know what to do to praise His Name enough
whilst I live; but whilst there is life there is hope; but I do
believe it is better for me to die than live.'
And so continued speaking of the goodness of the Lord from day
to day; which caused many tears to fall from the eyes of them
that heard her. Her Grandfather coming to her, asked her how she
did? She said to him and to her Mother, 'I have had no rest this
night nor to-day; I did not know but I should have died this
night, but very hardly I tugged through it; but I shall die
to-day, and a grave shall be made, and my body put into a hole,
and my soul shall go to heavenly joy, yea, heavenly joy and
everlasting peace for evermore.'
Then she said, 'Dear Grandfather, I do believe thou wilt not
stay long behind me, when I am gone.'
He answered, 'Dear Granddaughter, I shall come as fast as the
Lord orders my way.'
Then she praised the Name of the Lord with high praises and
joyful sounds for a season, and then desired her Mother to let
her be taken up a little time; saying, 'It may be it will give
me some ease.' Then they sent for her Grandfather, who said to
her, 'If this be thy last day, and thereon thou art to die, it
is not safe for thee to be taken forth of thy bed: dear Mary,
thou shalt have all attendance that is convenient, as to set
thee up in thy bed, and to lay thee down again; but "to take
thee up" we are not willing to do it.'
She answered, 'Well, Grandfather, what thou seest best for me, I
am willing to have it so.'
Then her Mother and Aunt set her up in her bed; she said it did
refresh her and give her some ease: and as they were ordering
what was to be done about her bed, she said, 'Oh! what a great
deal of do is here in ordering the bed for one that is upon
their death-bed.'
Her Aunt, Joan Dewsbury, said, 'Mary, dost thou think thou art
upon thy death-bed?'
She answered, 'Yea, yea, I am upon my death-bed, I shall die
to-day, and I am very willing to die, because I know it is
better for me to die than live.'
Her Aunt replied, 'I do believe it is better for thee to die
than live.'
She said, 'Yea, it is well for me to die.'...
'And, dear Mother, I would have thee remember my love to my dear
sisters, relations, and friends; and now I have nothing to do, I
have nothing to do.'