FOR A LITTLE CHANGE OF AIR.
On the very next day, I received such a visit as never had come to my
house before. For while I was trimming my hooks, and wondering how to
get out of all this trouble with my conscience sound and my pocket
improved; suddenly I heard a voice not to be found anywhere.
"I 'ants to yalk, I tell 'a, Yatkin. Put me down derekkerly. I 'ants to
see old Davy."
"And old Davy wants to see you, you beauty," I cried, as she jumped like
a little wild kid, and took all my house with a glance, and then me.
"Does 'a know, I yikes this house, and I yikes 'a, and I yikes Yatkin,
and ickle Bunny, and evelybody?"
She pointed all round for everybody, with all ten fingers spread
everyway. Then Watkin came after her, like her slave, with a foolish
grin on his countenance, in spite of the undertaking business.
"If you please, sir, Mr Llewellyn," he said, "we was forced to bring her
over; she have been crying so dreadful, and shivering about the black
pit-hole so. And when the black things came into the house, she was
going clean out of her little mind, ever so many times almost. No use
it was at all to tell her ever so much a-yard they was. 'I don't yike
back, and I 'on't have back. Yite I yikes, and boo I yikes; and my dear
papa be so very angy, when I tells him all about it.' She went on like
that, and she did so cry, mother said she must change the air a bit."
All the time he was telling me this, she watched him with her head on
one side and her lips kept ready in the most comic manner, as much as to
say, "Now you tell any stories at my expense, and you may look out." But
Watkin was truth itself, and she nodded, and said "Ness," at the end of
his speech.
"And, if you please, sir, Mr Llewellyn, whatever is a 'belung,' sir? All
the way she have been asking for 'belung, belung, belung.' And I cannot
tell for the life of me whatever is 'belung.'"
"Boy, never ask what is unbecoming," I replied, in a manner which made
him blush, according to my intention. For the word might be English for
all I knew, and have something of high life in it. However, I found,
by-and-by, that it meant what she was able to call "Ummibella," when
promoted a year in the dictionary.
But now anybody should only have seen her, who wanted a little rousing
up. My cottage, of course, is not much to boast of, compared with
castles, and so on; nevertheless there is something about it pleasant
and good, like its owner. You might see ever so many houses, and think
them larger, and grander, and so on, with more opportunity for sitting
down, and less for knocking your head perhaps; and after all you would
come back to mine. Not for the sake of the meat in the cupboard--because
I seldom had any, and far inferior men had more; but because--well, it
does not matter. I never could make you understand, unless you came to
see it.
Only I felt that I had found a wonderful creature to make me out, and
enter almost into my own views (of which the world is not capable) every
time I took this child up and down the staircase. She would have jumps,
and she made me talk in a manner that quite surprised myself; and such a
fine feeling grew up between us, that it was a happy thing for the whole
of us, not to have Bunny in the way just then. Mother Jones was giving
her apple-party; as she always did when the red streaks came upon her
"Early Margarets." But I always think the White Juneating is a far
superior apple: and I have a tree of it. My little garden is nothing
grand, any more than the rest of my premises, or even myself, if it
comes to that; still you might go for a long day's walk, and find very
few indeed to beat it, unless you were contradictory. For ten doors at
least, both west and east, this was admitted silently; as was proved by
their sending to me for a cabbage, an artichoke, or an onion, or
anything choice for a Sunday dinner. It may suit these very people now
to shake their heads and to run me down, but they should not forget what
I did for them, when it comes to pronouncing fair judgment.
Poor Bardie appeared as full of bright spirit, and as brave as ever, and
when she tumbled from jumping two steps, what did she do but climb back
and jump three, which even Bunny was afraid to do. But I soon perceived
that this was only a sort of a flash in the pan, as it were. The happy
change from the gloom of Sker House, from the silent corners and
creaking stairs, and long-faced people keeping watch, and howling every
now and then--also the sight of me again (whom she looked upon as her
chief protector), and the general air of tidiness belonging to my
dwelling--these things called forth all at once the play and joyful
spring of her nature. But when she began to get tired of this, and to
long for a little coaxing, even the stupidest gaffer could see that she
was not the child she had been. Her little face seemed pinched and pale,
and prematurely grave and odd; while in the grey eyes tears shone ready
at any echo of thought to fall. Also her forehead, broad and white,
which marked her so from common children, looked as if too much of
puzzling and of wondering had been done there. Even the gloss of her
rich brown poll was faded, with none to care for it; while the dainty
feet and hands, so sensitive as to a speck of dirt, were enough to bring
the tears of pity into a careful mother's eyes.
"Gardy la! 'Ook 'e see, 'hot degustin' naily pailies! And poor Bardie
nuffin to kean 'em with!"
While I was setting this grief to rest (for which she kissed me
beautifully), many thoughts came through my mind about this little
creature. She and I were of one accord, upon so many important points;
and when she differed from me, perhaps she was in the right almost:
which is a thing that I never knew happen in a whole village of grown-up
people. And by the time I had brushed her hair and tied up the bows of
her frock afresh, and when she began to dance again, and to play every
kind of trick with me, I said to myself, "I must have this child.
Whatever may come of it, I will risk--when the price of butcher's-meat
comes down."
This I said in real earnest; but the price of butcher's-meat went up,
and I never have known it come down again.
While I was thinking, our Bunny came in, full of apples, raw and
roasted, and of the things the children said. But at the very first
sight of Bardie, everything else was gone from her. All the other
children were fit only to make dirt-pies of. This confirmed and held me
steadfast in the opinions which I had formed without any female
assistance.
In spite of all her own concerns (of which she was full enough, goodness
knows), Bunny came up, and pulled at her, by reason of something down
her back, which wanted putting to rights a little--a plait, or a tuck,
or some manner of gear; only I thought it a clever thing, and the little
one approved of it. And then, our Bunny being in her best, these
children took notice of one another, to settle which of them was nearer
to the proper style of clothes. And each admired the other for anything
which she had not got herself.
"Come, you baby-chits," said I, being pleased at their womanly ways, so
early; "all of us want some food, I think. Can we eat our dresses?" The
children, of course, understood me not; nevertheless, what I said was
sense.
And if, to satisfy womankind--for which I have deepest regard and
respect--I am forced to enter into questions higher than reason of men
can climb--of washing, and ironing, and quilling, and gaufreing, and
setting up, and styles of transparent reefing, and all our other
endeavours to fetch this child up to her station--the best thing I can
do will be to have mother Jones in to write it for me; if only she can
be forced to spell.
However, that is beyond all hope; and even I find it hard sometimes to
be sure of the royal manner. Only I go by the Bible always, for every
word that I can find; being taught (ever since I could read at all) that
his Majesty, James I., confirmed it.
Now this is not all the thing which I wanted to put before you clearly;
because I grow like a tombstone often, only fit to make you laugh, when
I stand on my right to be serious. My great desire is to tell you what I
did, and how I did it, as to the managing of these children, even for a
day or two, so as to keep them from crying, or scorching, or spoiling
their clothes, or getting wet, or having too much victuals or too
little. Of course I consulted that good mother Jones five or six times
every day; and she never was weary of giving advice, though she said
every time that it must be the last. And a lucky thing it was for me in
all this responsibility to have turned enough of money, through skilful
catch and sale of fish, to allow of my staying at home a little, and not
only washing and mending of clothes, but treating the whole of the
household to the delicacies of the season. However, it is not my habit
to think myself anything wonderful; that I leave to the rest of the
world: and no doubt any good and clever man might have done a great part
of what I did. Only if anything should befall us, out of the reach of a
sailor's skill and the depth of Bunny's experience, mother Jones
promised to come straight in, the very moment I knocked at the wall; and
her husband slept with such musical sound that none could be lonely in
any house near, and so did all of her ten children who could crack a
lollipop.
Upon the whole, we passed so smoothly over the first evening, with the
two children as hard at play as if they were paid fifty pounds for it,
that having some twenty-five shillings in hand after payment of all
creditors, and only ten weeks to my pension-day, with my boat unknown to
anybody, and a very good prospect of fish running up from the Mumbles at
the next full moon, I set the little one on my lap, after a good bout of
laughing at her very queer ins and outs--for all things seem to be all
alive with, as well as to, her.
"Will you stay with me, my dear?" I said, as bold as King George and the
Dragon; "would you like to live with old Davy and Bunny, and have ever
so many frocks washed, soon as ever he can buy them?" For nothing
satisfied her better than to see her one gown washed. She laid her head
on one side a little, so that I felt it hot to my bosom, being excused
of my waistcoat; and I knew that she had overworked herself.
"Ness," she said, after thinking a bit. "Ness, I live with 'a, old Davy,
till my dear mama come for me. Does 'e know, old Davy, 'hot I thinks?"
"No, my pretty; I only know that you are always thinking." And so she
was; no doubt of it.
"I tell 'a, old Davy, 'hot I thinks. No--I can't tell 'a; only sompfin.
'Et me go for more pay with Bunny."
"No, my dear, just stop a minute. Bunny has got no breath left in her;
she is such a great fat Bunny. What you mean to say is, that you don't
know how papa and mama could ever think of leaving you such a long, long
time away."
She shook her curly pate as if each frizzle were a puzzle; and her sweet
white forehead seemed a mainsail full of memory; and then gay presence
was in her eyes, and all the play which I had stopped broke upon her
mind again.
"Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor," she began, with her beautiful fingers
crawling, like white carnelian compasses, up the well-made buttons of my
new smock-guernsey; for though I had begged my hot waistcoat off, I
never was lax of dress in her presence as I would be in Bunny's--or, in
short, with anybody except this little lady. I myself taught her that
"tinker, tailor," and had a right to have it done to me. And she
finished it off with such emphasis upon button No. 7, which happened to
be the last of them, "gentleman, ploughboy, fief," looking straight into
my eyes, and both of us laughing at the fine idea that I could possibly
be called a thief! But fearing to grow perhaps foolish about her, as she
did these charming things to me, I carried her up to bed with Bunny, and
sung them both away to sleep with a melancholy dirge of sea.
Into whatever state of life it may please God to call me--though I fear
there cannot be many more at this age of writing--it always will be, as
it always has been, my first principle and practice to do my very utmost
(which is far less than it was, since the doctor stopped my hornpipes)
to be pleasant and good company. And it is this leading motive which has
kept me from describing--as I might have done, to make you tingle and be
angry afterwards--the state of Sker House, and of Evan Thomas, and Moxy
his wife, and all their friends, about those five poor rabbiters. Also
other darkish matters, such as the plight of those obstinate black men
when they came ashore at last, three together, and sometimes four, as if
they had fought in the water. And, after all, what luck they had in
obtaining proper obsequies, inasmuch as, by order of Crowner Bowles, a
great hole in the sand was dug in a little sheltered valley, and kept
open till it was fairly thought that the sea must have finished with
them; and then, after being carefully searched for anything of value,
they were rolled in all together and kept down with stones, like the
parish mangle, and covered with a handsome mound of sand. And not only
this, but in spite of expense and the murmuring of the vestry, a board
well tarred (to show their colour) was set up in the midst of it, and
their number "35" chalked up; and so they were stopped of their mischief
awhile, after shamefully robbing their poor importer.
But if this was conducted handsomely, how much more so were the
funerals of the five young white men! The sense of the neighbourhood,
and the stir, and the presence of the Coroner (who stopped a whole week
for sea air and freshness, after seeing so many good things come in, and
perceiving so many ways home that night, that he made up his mind to
none of them); also the feeling (which no one expressed, but all would
have been disappointed of) that honest black Evan, after knocking so
many men down in both parishes and the extra-parochial manor, was
designed, by this downright blow from above, to repent and to entertain
every one; and most of all, the fact that five of a highly respectable
family were to be buried at once, to the saving of four future funerals,
all of which must have been fine ones,--these universal sympathies
compelled the house and the people therein to exert themselves to the
uttermost.
Enough that it gave satisfaction, not universal, but general; and even
that last is a hard thing to do in such great outbursts of sympathy.
Though Moudlin church is more handy for Sker, and the noble Portreeve of
Kenfig stood upon his right to it, still there were stronger reasons why
old Newton should have the preference. And Sker being outside either
parish, Crowner Bowles, on receipt of a guinea, swore down the Portreeve
to his very vamps. For Moxy Thomas was a Newton woman, and loved every
scrape of a shoe there; and her uncle, the clerk, would have ended his
days if the fees had gone over to Kenfig. Our parson, as well, was a
very fine man, and a match for the whole of the service; while the
little fellow at Moudlin always coughed at a word of three syllables.
There was one woman in our village who was always right. She had been
disappointed, three times over, in her early and middle days; and the
effect of this on her character was so lasting and so wholesome, that
she never spoke without knowing something. When from this capital female
I heard that our churchyard had won the victory, and when I foresaw the
demented condition of glory impending upon our village (not only from
five magnificent palls, each with its proper attendance of black, and
each with fine hymns and good howling, but yet more than that from the
hot strength of triumph achieved over vaunting Kenfig), then it came
into my mind to steal away with Bardie.
A stern and sad sacrifice of myself, I assured myself that it was, and
would be; for few even of our oldest men could enjoy a funeral more than
I did, with its sad reflections and junketings. And I might have been
head-man of all that day, entitled not only to drop the mould, but to
make the speech afterwards at the Inn.
But I abandoned all these rights, and braved once more the opinions of
neighbours (which any man may do once too often); and when the advance
of sound came towards us, borne upon the western wind from the end of
Newton Wayn, slowly hanging through the air, as if the air loved death
of man--the solemn singing of the people who must go that way
themselves, and told it in their melody; and when the Clevice rock rung
softly with the tolling bell, as well as with the rolling dirges, we
slipped away at the back of it--that is to say, pretty Bardie and I. For
Bunny was purer of Newton birth than to leave such a sight without
tearing away. And desiring some little to hear all about it, I left her
with three very good young women, smelling strongly of southernwood, who
were beginning to weep already, and promised to tell me the whole of it.
As we left this dismal business, Bardie danced along beside me, like an
ostrich-feather blown at. In among the sandhills soon I got her, where
she could see nothing, and the thatch of rushes deadened every pulse of
the funeral bell. And then a strange idea took me, all things being
strange just now, that it might prove a rich wise thing to go for a
quiet cruise with Bardie. In that boat, and on the waves, she might
remember things recovered by the chance of semblance. Therefore, knowing
that all living creatures five miles either way of us were sure to be in
Newton churchyard nearly all the afternoon, and then in the
public-houses, I scrupled not to launch my boat and go to sea with the
little one. For if we steered a proper course no funeral could see us.
And so I shipped her gingerly. The glory of her mind was such that
overboard she must have jumped, except for my Sunday neck-tie with a
half-hitch knot around her. And the more I rowed the more she laughed,
and looked at the sun with her eyes screwed up, and at the water with
all wide open. "'Hare is 'a going, old Davy?" she said, slipping from
under my Sunday splice, and coming to me wonderfully, and laying her
tiny hands on mine, which beat me always, as she had found out; "is 'a
going to my dear papa, and mama, and ickle bother?"
"No, my pretty, you must wait for them to come. We are going to catch
some fish, and salt them, that they may keep with a very fine smell,
till your dear papa brings your mama and all the family with him; and
then what a supper we will have!"
"'Ill 'a," she said; "and poor Bardie too?"
But the distance of the supper-time was a very sad disappointment to
her, and her bright eyes filled with haze. And then she said "Ness" very
quietly, because she was growing to understand that she could not have
her own way now. I lay on my oars and watched her carefully, while she
was shaking her head and wondering, with her little white shoulders
above the thwart, and her innocent and intelligent eyes full of the
spreading sky and sea. It was not often one had the chance, through the
ever-flitting change, to learn the calm and true expression of that poor
young creature's face. Even now I could not tell, except that her
playful eyes were lonely, and her tender lips were trembling, and a
heartful of simple love could find no outlet, and lost itself. These
little things, when thinking thus, or having thought flow through them,
never ought to be disturbed, because their brains are tender. The
unknown stream will soon run out, and then they are fit again for play,
which is the proper work of man. We open the world, and we close the
world, with nothing more than this; and while our manhood is too grand
(for a score and a half of years, perhaps), to take things but in
earnest, the justice of our birth is on us,--we are fortune's plaything.