TYRO.--You are quite right--a four-in-hand is worth two in the bush,
which, as you justly observe, no good wine needs. To handle the reins
correctly, proceed as follows. Divide the sum-total of all the reins
measured to a _millimètre_ by half a forefinger, no allowance being
made for chalk-stones, or stiff knuckles. Multiply the quotient by the
off-wheel-rein, and add the near leader's blinkers to the result. Then
pass your left thumb under your right middle finger, taking care
at the same time to tie the off-leading-rein round your neck in
a sailor's knot. Add six yards of whipcord to the near leader's
shoulders, subtract yourself from the box, and send us your doctor's
bill, for purposes of comparison.
WHO'S WHO?--(1) _Roundabout Sammy_ is a very promising horse, by
_Engineer_, out of _Little Joker_. He was not bred in France, for,
though there is a Parisian accent about some of his neighs, there is
a distinctly British look about his nose. He is a trifle cobby, no
doubt, but he is a capital feeder, and should go well in a double
harness, with 84 '_Pommery_, his constant stable companion. (2.) Peat
Moss Litter is not generally used for soup, or table decorations. (3.)
The appearance you refer to is probably _rubinosis brandiginiata_. It
is due to the absorption of _liquor per haustum_. The snakes you sent
us are indigenous to the hill-country of Del Trementi.
* * * * *
[Illustration: HOW RAPID CONVERSIONS ARE MADE.
_Lady Circe._ "WHAT, YOU DON'T APPRECIATE _WAGNER_, MR. JONES? YOU
MUST LET ME PLAY YOU A LITTLE OF _PARSIFAL_."
[_Does so, and Jones, who has no ear for Music whatever, becomes an
ardent and aggressive Wagnerite on the spot, and remains so for the
rest of his life!_
]
* * * * *