'Esq: Thomas Burnet (S-n of that vertuous, orthodox, pious, forgiving,

impartial, sincere, never wav-ri-g (always standing to his T-x-t)

modest, conscientious Di--ne, and by the Gr-- of G--d in the fere of

the L--d) was on Saturday last taken up, and carried to the Lord

Viscount Bolinbroke's Office, for being the Author of that seditious

and scandalous Pamphlet, call'd _A certain Information of a certain

Discourse_, &c. (of which Libel Mr. Baker the Publisher lately swore

he was the Author) and gave sureties to appear the last Day of this

Term; his Bail were Guy Neville and Geo Trenchard Esqs: _What's bred

in the B-ne will never be out of the Fl-sh_.'

Talk about the amenities of the press! Here are one or two samples:--

_Titus_ detected the _Tory Popish_ Plot, _and_ Abel's [511]

inveterating a _Whiggish One_.

[Footnote 511: Abel Roper, who then conducted the _Post

Boy_.]

_Titus was a Foul Mouth Slanderer_,--_so is_ Abel.

_Titus_ openly traduced the next Heir to this Crown--So has

_Abel_.

_Titus_ deserv'd to be Hang'd--So does _Abel_.

_Titus_ was low in Stature, but of Outrageous Principles--So is

_Abel_.

_Titus_ was protected in his Impudence--So is _Abel_.

But the Time's coming to change, _Titus_ was call'd to Account

for it--so _will_ Abel.

_Titus_ was flogg'd and Pilloried--So will _Abel_.

_Titus_ was despised by both Parties--So will _Abel_.

_Titus_ died unpittied;--So will _Abel_.

In fine,--_Titus was both Knave and Dunce_;--_So is_ Abel.[512]

[Footnote 512: _Protestant Post Boy_, Jan. 15/17, 1712.]

One would imagine that after this flagellation Roper would not be the

first to assault a brother journalist, but he fell foul of Ridpath,

who conducted the _Flying Post_, and this is how he did it:

'Yesterday, one George Ridpath, a Cameronian, who formerly (as it is

credibly reported) was banished Scotland, for putting on Lawn Sleves,

and administering ---- to a Dog, in derision of the Church and

Bishops, was committed to Newgate for several scandalous Reflections

writ by him in a Paper formerly publish'd call'd the _Observator_; and

for being the Author of several notorious Falshoods and scandalous

Reflections on the Queen and Government, in a paper call'd _The Flying

Post_.'[513]

[Footnote 513: _Post Boy_, Sept. 6/9, 1712.]

Ridpath,[514] of whom Dunton says 'His _Humility_ and His _Honesty_

have establish'd his Reputation,' hit back by means of an anonymous

correspondent in the _Flying Post_:--

[Footnote 514: Ridpath invented a manifold writer, which

would take six or more copies at once.]

'Lynn Regis in Norfolk, Sept 22.

'Sir,

'Having observ'd the false Account which that Scandalous Wretch

Abel Roper gave some time ago in his _Post Boy_, about the

Reception of Mr. Walpole here; This is to inform you 'tis a

notorious Lye; for that worthy Gentleman had a very honourable

Reception, answerable to the just Esteem which this Corporation

has for him.'

A notice of one more sparring match must close this subject--the same

two papers. Says friend Abel[515]: 'In the _Flying Post_ of last

Tuesday, we have a very unusual Specimen of the Author's Modesty, in

Owning and Recanting the Lye he had so impudently fix'd on Dr. S----l

in his former Paper. But 'tis very remarkable, That by endeavouring to

excuse this Lye, he unluckily falls into his _Habitual Sin_ again, no

less than _three_ times in this single Paragraph.... So little Credit

is to be given to this Infamous Weekly Libel, fill'd always with Lies

of the Author's own Invention, or such as are taken up at second-hand,

and vouch'd by him without the least Regard to Truth, Common Sense, or

Common Honesty.'

[Footnote 515: _Post Boy_, Mar. 30/April 1, 1714.]

After this, who can wonder if some editors had rather a rough time of

it, especially Roper. He gives us[516] one glimpse of his condition:

'Last night _William Thompson_ Esq., came to the Proprietor of this

Paper, and told him, That if he did not insert the following Paragraph

in his Paper of this Day, _God Damn him, he would cut his Throat, and

he had a Penknife in his Pocket for that purpose_; for which the

Proprietor of this Paper designs to prosecute him according to Law,

but thought fit to publish this, that the Nation may be Judges,

whether a Person of such a Character is proper to be employ'd in his

Station in the Law? or, Whether our Constitution ought to be entrusted

in such Hands as will not scruple to commit Murder whenever it may

serve their Purpose.'

[Footnote 516: _Postboy_, Sept. 12/15, 1713.]

In 1704 the House of Commons took umbrage at some remarks which John

Tutchin, the conductor of the _Observator_, had made on some

mismanagement of public affairs (and they were undoubted libels), and

cited him, the printer, and publisher before their Bar, to be brought

in custody of the Serjeant-at-Arms. Tutchin gave bail for his

appearance: and his trial came on on Nov. 4, 1704.[517] He got off

somehow, and was never tried again. Earlier in life he had been tried

at the Bloody Assizes, where he had the brutal Jeffreys for his judge,

and he was sentenced 'to be imprisoned for Seven Years; that once

every year he should be whipt through all the Market Towns in

Dorsetshire; that he should pay a fine of one hundred marks to the

King, and find security for his good behaviour during life.... Upon

passing the Sentence, the Clerk of the Arraigns stood up, and said, My

lord, there are a great many market towns in this County; the sentence

reaches to a whipping about once a fortnight, and he is a very young

man. Aye, says Jeffreys, he is a young man but an old rougue; and all

the interest in England shall not reverse the sentence I have past

upon him.' So poor Tutchin's heart died within him, and he petitioned

the King that he 'will be mercifully pleased to grant him the favour

of being hanged with those of his fellow prisoners, that are condemned

to die.' But to no avail.

[Footnote 517: Howell's _State Trials_, ed. 1812, v. 14.]

His friends tried to buy him a pardon, but Jeffreys frustrated all

their efforts. At length Tutchin fell ill of the smallpox, and nearly

died of it, being only tended by his fellow-prisoners. During his

illness his mother bought his pardon of Jeffreys[518]; then she fell

sick of the smallpox, and died.

[Footnote 518: A scandalous practice then in vogue. 'Mr.

Tutchin hereupon endeavoured to get a pardon from the people

who had grants of lives, many of them 500, some 1000, more

or less as they had interest with the King.' Again: 'For it

was usual at that time for one Courtier to get a pardon of

the King for half a Score, and then by the assistance of

Jeffreys to augment the sum to fourscore or a hundred.' In

these 'Bloody Assizes' 300 persons were condemned to death,

and nearly 1,000 sold as slaves to the West Indian

plantations.]

Of Tutchin's trial in 1704 we have the following contemporary evidence

from Luttrell: '18 May. Mr. Tutchin, author of the Observator, against

whom a proclamation was out at the desire of the House of Commons, has

given 1000_l._ bail to answer what shall be objected against him'; and

on May 29 he gave fresh bail. His trial began, as we know, on Nov. 4,

and he was found guilty, but sentence was deferred. On the 14th we

hear 'Yesterday, Mr. Tutchin, found guilty of publishing the

Observator, appeared at the Queen's bench Court, when his council

inform'd the Court of an error in the information, and the Attorney

General desiring time to consider of it, Tutchin is to attend again on

Saturday.' The point was the false dating of the writ; and he attended

on the 20th and 23rd, when it was argued; and on Nov. 28 judgment was

given in Tutchin's favour, 'the Attorney General at liberty to try him

again,' which he never did.

This trial is interesting, as it furnishes us with evidence as to the

pay of an editor, or rather author (for Tutchin wrote the whole

paper), of that time. John How was the proprietor of the paper, which

appeared first on April 1, 1702. In his evidence is the following:--

_How._ About the latter end of March, 1702, I treated with Mr.

Tutchin about writing an Observator, to be published weekly: the

first of which was published in April 1702. And all that have

been printed since, I had from him to this year.

_Att. Gen._ You looked on these papers here: were those printed

by the direction of Mr. Tutchin?

_How._ To the best of my knowledge, they were. They were always

brought from him to me.

_Att. Gen._ Was there any agreement made between you about the

writing of it?

_How._ Yes, it was agreed at first to write once a week; and I

was to give him half a guinea for it.[519] ...

[Footnote 519: Howell's _State Papers_, ed. 1812, pp.

1105-6.]

_Sir T. Powis._ Did you pay him for the Preface?

_How._ Yes, and for the Index.[520] ...

[Footnote 520: _Ibid._ p. 1108.]

_L. C. Justice._ What did you give him for that Preface and

Index?

_How._ I think it was ten shillings.

At the same time there were other libels afloat. '30 May 1704.

Yesterday came out a proclamation by her Majestie for discovering and

apprehending the author, printer, and publisher of a scandalous libel,

intituled, Legions Humble Addresse to the Lords; offering the reward

of £100 for the author thereof, and fifty pounds for the printer

thereof.'[521]

[Footnote 521: _Luttrell._]

Was not Steele turned out of Parliament for libel? 'Resolved that

Richard Steele, Esq{re}, for his offence in writing and publishing the

said scandalous and seditious libels, be expelled the House;'[522] and

the resolution was adopted by 245 votes against 152.

[Footnote 522: _Journals of the House of Commons_, vol.

xvii. p. 514.]

In 1709 Luttrell tells us: '15 Oct. The Authors of the Review and

Female Tatler were presented by the grand jury as scandalous and a

publick nuisance, and were ordered to be prosecuted. 1 Nov. This day

the printer and publisher of the New Atlantis were examined touching

the author Mrs. Manley; they were discharged, but she remains in

custody. 5 Nov. One Ball is taken up for writing scandalous papers on

persons of quality; but Mrs. Manley, the author of the New Atlantis,

is admitted to Bayl.'

Few would be inclined to pity the profligate Mrs. Manley for any

punishment she might have received for her scandalous libels in both

the _Female Tatler_ and the _New Atlantis_; but she was not punished.

On the contrary, the Ministry gave her employment for her pen.

The _Tatler_ commenced the series of Essay papers. Steele is almost

apologetic, in its first number, for having to make any charge. He

elaborately calls attention to the expenses incurred in getting up

such a paper, and adds 'these considerations will I hope make all

persons willing to comply with my humble request (when my _gratis_

stock is exhausted) of a penny a piece.' And an advertisement at the

end of No. 4 says, 'Upon the humble petition of Running Stationers &c.

this Paper may be had of them, for the future, at the price of one

penny.' But there was a more expensive edition, whole-sheet _Tatlers_,

having a double quantity of paper, with one half-sheet blank 'to write

business on, and for the convenience of the post,' and they, of

course, were more expensive. The _Tatler_, _Spectator_, and _Guardian_

were all of Steele's creation; they were born, and died, at his

discretion; and the _Spectator_, at least, was always laid on the

Royal breakfast table. Their imitators were numerous, but short-lived;

in fact, the imposition of a halfpenny stamp massacred the innocents

of the press in a wholesale manner.

This tax was evidently in contemplation some time before it became

law. Swift writes to Stella, Jan. 31, 1711: 'They are here intending

to tax all little printed penny papers a halfpenny every half sheet,

which will utterly ruin Grub Street, and I am endeavouring to prevent

it.' It slept for a little, but it was smuggled at last into the 10th

Anne,[523] cap. 19, and fairly hidden among duties on soap, paper,

silk, linens, hackney chairs, cards, marriage licences, etc. It came

into operation on Aug. 1, 1712, and Swift makes merry over the effect

it will have on the struggling periodical literature. '19 July 1712.

Grub Street has but ten days to live; then an act of parliament takes

place that ruins it, by taxing every half sheet at a halfpenny.' '17

Aug. 1712. Do you know that Grub Street is dead and gone last week? No

more ghosts or murders now for love or money. I plied it pretty close

the last fortnight, and published at least seven penny papers of my

own, besides some of other people's: but now every single half sheet

pays a halfpenny to the Queen. The Observator is fallen; the Medleys

are jumbled together with the Flying Post; the Examiner is deadly

sick; the Spectator keeps up, and doubles its price; I know not how

long it will hold. Have you seen the red stamp the papers are marked

with? Methinks the stamping is worth a halfpenny.'

[Footnote 523: The part of this Act specially bearing upon

newspapers was a stamp duty for thirty-two years from August

1, 1712: 'And be it Enacted by the Authority aforesaid, that

there shall be Raised, Levied, Collected and Paid, to and

for the Use of Her Majesty, her Heirs and Successors, for

and upon all Books or Papers commonly called Pamphlets, and

for and upon all News Papers, or Papers containing Publick

News, Intelligence or Occurrences, which shall, at any time

or times within or during the Term last mentioned, be

printed in Great Britain to be Dispersed and made Publick,

and for and upon such Advertisements as are herein after

mentioned the respective Duties following; That is to say.

'For every such Pamphlet or Paper contained in Half a Sheet

or any lesser Piece of Paper, so Printed, the sum of One

half penny.

'For every such Pamphlet or Paper (being larger than Half a

Sheet, not exceeding one Whole Sheet) so printed, a Duty

after the Rate of One Penny Sterling for every Printed Copy

thereof.

'And for every such Pamphlet or Paper, being larger than One

Whole Sheet, and not exceeding Six Sheets in Octavo, or in a

Lesser Page, or not exceeding Twelve Sheets in Quarto, or

Twenty Sheets in Folio, so Printed, a Duty after the Rate of

Two Shillings Sterling for every Sheet of any kind of Paper

which shall be contained in One Printed Copy thereof.

'And for every Advertisement to be Contained in the _London

Gazette_ or any other printed Paper, such Paper being

Dispersed or made publick Weekly, or oftner, the Sum of

Twelve Pence Sterling.' Acts of Parliament were exempt.]

[Illustration: Newspaper Stamp.]

The _Spectator_ does not chuckle over the fall of its humbler

brethren. Addison says[524]: 'This is the Day on which many eminent

Authors will probably Publish their Last Words. I am afraid that few

of our Weekly Historians, who are Men that above others delight in

War, will be able to subsist under the Weight of a Stamp, and an

approaching Peace. A Sheet of Blank Paper that must have this new

Imprimatur clapt upon it, before it is qualified to Communicate any

thing to the Publick, will make its Way in the World but very heavily.

In short, the Necessity of carrying a Stamp, and the Improbability of

Notifying a Bloody Battel, will, I am afraid, both concur to the

sinking of those thin Folios, which have every other Day retailed to

us the History of _Europe_ for several Years last past. A Facetious

Friend of mine who loves a Punn, calls this present Mortality among

Authors, _The Fall of the Leaf_.'

[Footnote 524: No. 445, July 31, 1712.]

All the papers, except the _Spectator_, rose their price just the

value of the stamps; but that 'Society Journal' charged 1_d._ extra--a

fact which caused no little grumbling--and which made Addison put

forth all his powers of special pleading to vindicate (see No. 488).

The imposition of 1_s._ duty on advertisements had no deterrent effect

upon them; this 'backbone of the paper' continued as before. There is

nothing that I have found to guide us as to the prices of

advertisements, except in one case--and I hardly think that can be

called a representative one. It is that of a short-lived paper called

'THE GENEROUS ADVERTISER OR Weekly Information of TRADE and BUSINESS.

To be published every _Tuesday_, and _Friday_, and 4000 of them always

carefully Distributed and Given away _Gratis_ each Day, in and about

the City's of _London_ and _Westminster_.' It enjoyed its brief

existence in 1707. The terms were not excessive under the

circumstances; 'Advertisements ... will be taken by the Men who carry

this PAPER about; Who will take them in very Carefully and Cheap

_viz._ after the Rate of 3_d._ for every Fifty letters.'

Advertisements, with the exception of those of quack doctors and their

medicines, were very much as now. Booksellers, public amusements,

things lost, things for sale, etc., give those old sheets a strange

similarity to those we are so familiar with.

Even the poor almanacs were taxed. The _Protestant Post Boy_, Nov.

15/17, 1711, says, 'Whereas, by an Act made last Sessions of

Parliament, a Duty was laid on all Almanacks, and a Penalty of Ten

Pounds is for any one that shall Sell any Almanacks without being

first Stampt as the Law directs; and whereas the said Tax &c. has made

a great Attraction in the Price, this is to give Notice to all Retale

Buyers, or others that the Prices are as follows.

'An Almanack Bound in Red Leather, with Paper to Write on of any Sort.

Ninepence.

'An Almanack of any Sort Sticht. Six Pence.

'Any Sheet Almanack Four Pence.'

It is hardly worth while to give an exhaustive list of the almanacs

then in vogue. One advertisement[525] will be ample for the purpose:

'On Thursday next (15 Nov.) will be published the following Almanacks

for the year 1706. viz. Andrews, Chapman, Coley, Dove, Gadbury, Ladies

Diary, Moor, Partridge, Pond, Poor Robin, Salmon, Saunders, Tanner,

Wing, Colepepper, Dade, Fly, Fowl, Perkins, Rose, Swallow, Trigge,

Turner, White, Wood-house.'

[Footnote 525: _Daily Courant_, Nov. 10, 1705.]

Out of which, that by Francis Moore, physician, the 'Vox Stellarum,'

is still published. Doubts have been thrown on the reality of this

gentleman, but it is certain that he did live, and Lysons speaks of

him as having lived in Calcotts Alley, High Street (then called Back

Lane), Lambeth, where he practised the combined professions of

astrologer, physician, and schoolmaster. He also lived in Southwark

and in Westminster. There is an engraving of him extant, evidently

done in Queen Anne's reign, by Drapentier, who also engraved the

portrait of Dr. Burgess. Moore is represented as a fat-faced man in a

full-bottomed wig. The legend is 'Francis Moore, born in Bridgenorth,

in the County of Salop, the 29th of January 1656/7.' His almanac was

first published in 1698.

The _Ladies' Diary_, which commenced in 1704, was only suspended in

1841, when it was incorporated in the _Gentleman's Diary_.

'Poor Robin, an ALMANACK of the Old and New Fashion; or an EPHEMERIS

of the best and newest Edition; wherein the Reader may find (that is

to say if he reads over the Almanack) many most excellent remarkable

things worthy his and others choicest Observation. Containing a

Two-fold Calendar, _viz._, The Old, Honest, Julian, or English

Account, and the Round head's, Whimzey heads, Maggot heads,

Paper-scull'd, Slender-witted, Muggletonian, or Fanatick Account, with

their several Saints Days, and Observations upon every Month. Being

the BISSEXTILE or Leap Year. _Written by_ POOR ROBIN _Knight of the

Burnt Island, a Well-wisher to the Mathematicks_.'

THE TWO AND FORTIETH IMPRESSION.

Reader, this is the two and Fortieth Year,

Since first our Book did to the World appear:

And we do think 'tis stored with more knacks

Than may be found in other Almanacks.

Laugh if you will, but yet this always mind,

If you your Eyes laugh out, you will be blind.

_London_: Printed by _W. Bowyer_ for the Company of Stationers, 1704.

Such is a title-page of this almanac, which, when first started, is

thought to have been written by Herrick. It only ceased its

publication in 1828. As this was a genuinely humorous book, in a time

when pure fun was hardly understood, a very brief description may be

permitted. It had a comic chronology, such as:--

Years since

Geese without or Hose or Shoes went bare. 5603

Maids did Plackets in their Coats first wear. 4805

Plumbs were first put into Christmas Pies. 1472

The Hangman did the riding Knot devise. 3999

Coffee came first to be us'd in _London_. 0049

By Rebellion many a Man was undone. 0050

Women did at _Billingsgate_ first scold. 0973

Summer was hot Weather, Winter cold. 5782 &c. &c.

And every month had its appropriate poem, thus:--

This is the merry Month of May,

When as the Fields are fresh and gay;

And in each Place where 'ere you go

Are people walking to and fro.

On every Place you cast your Eye,

Hundreds of people you may Spy,

The Fields bestrewed all about,

Some pacing home, some passing out;

Some woo their Lovers in the Shadows,

Some stragling to and fro the Meadows.

Some of this Chat, some of that Talk,

Some Coacht, some horst, some afoot Walk.

Some by _Thames_ Bank their Pleasure taking,

Some Silabubs 'mong Milkmaids making;

With Musick some on Waters rowing;

Some to the adjoining Towns are going.

To _Hogsdon_, _Islington_, _Tottenham Court_,

For Cakes and Cream is great Resort, &c.

Also each month has its appropriate prose.

'Observations on January. Now a good Fire, and a Glass of brisk Canary

is as Comfortable as the thing called Matrimony. Cold Weather makes

hungry Stomachs, so that now a piece of powder'd Beef lin'd with

Brews,[526] vociferating Veal, and a Neat's Tongue, that never told a

Lye, is excellent good food; but to feed on hope, is but a poor Dish

of Meat to dine and sup with after a two Days Fast. If thou art minded

to go a Wooing this Cold Weather, do it with Discretion, for he that

doth make a Goddess of a Puppet, merits no Recompense but mere

Contempt.'

[Footnote 526: Broth.]

Besides these, there was plenty of proverbial philosophy, interspersed

with divers merry tales, and eccentric receipts, the whole going to

form a compilation perfectly unique for its time.

[Illustration: Partridge and Bickerstaff.]

Perhaps the chief among the serious astrological, and predicting,

almanacs was '_Merlinus Liberatus_, by JOHN PARTRIDGE, Student in

Physick and Astrology, at the _Blue Ball_ in _Salisbury Street_, in

the _Strand, London_.' Not, perhaps, that he would have lived in

story, much more than his fellows, had it not been for the fun that

Swift, Steele, and Addison made of him. Swift set the ball rolling, in

his sham 'Predictions for the year 1708, by Isaac Bickerstaff' (his

pseudonym), in which he says: 'My first prediction is but a trifle,

and yet I will mention it to show how ignorant those sottish

pretenders to astronomy are in their own concerns. It relates to

Partridge the Almanack maker. I have consulted the star of his

nativity by my own rules, and find he will infallibly die on the 29th

of March next, about eleven at night, of a raging fever; therefore, I

advise him to consider of it, and settle his affairs in time.' This

was a happy thought, born of the fact that Partridge had prophesied

the downfall and death of Louis XIV. Early in April 1708 Swift

published 'The accomplishment of the first part of Mr. Bickerstaff's

predictions, being an account of the death of Mr. Partridge, the

Almanac maker, on the 29th of March, 1708, in a letter to a person of

honour.'

From that moment Partridge was dead. It was no use his publicly

stating that he was alive. The wits had decreed his fate, and dead he

was. His elegy and epitaph were printed, in the grisly manner common

to those productions. They are too long for reproduction, but are too

good not to quote from.

WELL, 'tis as _Bickerstaff_ has guest,

Tho' we all took it for a Jest;

_Patrige_ is Dead, nay more, he dy'd

E'er he could prove the good Squire ly'd.

Strange, an Astrologer should Die,

Without one Wonder in the Sky;

Not one of all his _Crony_ Stars,

To pay their Duty at his Hearse!

No Meteor, no Eclipse appear'd!

No Comet with a flaming Beard!

The Sun has rose, and gone to Bed,

Just as if _Patrige_ were not Dead;

Not hid himself behind the Moon,

To make a dreadful Night at Noon:

He at fit Periods walks through _Aries_,

Howe'er our Earthly Motion varies,

And twice a Year he'll cut th' _Æquator_,

As if there had been no such Matter.

Some Wits have wondered what Analogy

There is 'twixt _Cobling_ and _Astrology_;

How _Patrige_ made his _Opticks_ rise

From a _Shoe Sole_ to reach the Skies;

......................................

Besides, that slow pac'd Sign _Bootes_

As 'tis miscall'd, we know not who 'tis;

But _Patrige_ ended all Disputes,

He knew his Trade, and call'd it _Boots_.

The _Horned Moon_ which heretofore

Upon their Shoes the _Romans_ wore,

Whose wideness kept their Toes from Corns

And whence we claim our _Shoeing Horns_,

Shews how the Art of _Cobling_ bears

A near Resemblance to the Spheres, &c.

THE EPITAPH.

HERE Five Foot deep lyes on his Back

A _Cobler_, _Starmonger_, and _Quack_,

Who to the Stars in pure Good will,

Does to his best look upward still.

Weep all you Customers that use

His _Pills_, his _Almanacks_, or _Shoes_.

And you that did your Fortunes seek,

Step to this Grave but once a Week.

This Earth which bears his Body's Print,

You'll find has so much Virtue in't,

That I durst Pawn my Ears, 'twill tell

What 'eer concerns you full as well,

In _Physick_, _Stolen Goods_, or _Love_,

As he himself could, when above.[527]

[Footnote 527: _Harl. MSS._ 5931-85.]

Congreve, or Rowe, took up cudgels for the poor man, and wrote and

published 'Squire Bickerstaff detected, or the astrological impostor

convicted, by JOHN PARTRIDGE, student in Physick, and Astrology.' What

was the use? Not only were the above squibs being sold about the

streets for a halfpenny, but Swift had to annihilate his opponents by

his 'Vindication of Isaac Bickerstaff Esq. against what is objected to

him by Mr. _Partridge_, in his Almanack for the present year, 1709.'

Steele, even in the very first _Tatler_, could not forbear poking fun

at Partridge. 'I have, in another place, and in a paper by itself,

sufficiently convinced this man that he is dead, and, if he has any

shame, I do not doubt but that by this time he owns it to all his

acquaintance; for though the legs and arms and whole body of that man

may still appear, and perform their animal functions; yet since, as I

have elsewhere observed, his art is gone, the man is gone.' And so the

banter was kept up, at intervals, all through the _Tatler_.

As an almanac writer he, in fact, did die in 1709, for that was the

last he really published--although an almanac is still sold bearing

the same title. He really, and corporeally, died in 1715, and was

buried in Mortlake Churchyard, where, on a flat black marble stone,

was the following inscription:--

'Johannes Partridge Astrologus,

et Medicinæ Doctor.

Natus est apud East Sheen,

in Comitatu Surrey,

18 Januarii, 1641,

et mortuus est Londini 24 Junii, 1715.

Medicinam fecit duobus regibus, unæque Reginæ;

Carolo scilicet secundo, Willielmo Tertio,

Reginæque Mariæ.

Creatus est Medicinæ Doctor

Luguduni Batavorum.'

The almanac stamps seem to have prompted crime and forgery, owing to

their price; for the _London Gazette_, Feb. 7/10, 1713 has, 'Whereas

divers Almanacks, or Papers serving the purpose of an Almanack, with

false Stamps, have been lately Printed and Sold in several Parts of

England, contrary to a late Act of Parliament, and prejudicial to Her

Majesty's Revenue; and others, tho' with the true Stamps, have been

Printed and Sold Contrary to the Right of the Company of Stationers,

for which Divers Persons are now under Prosecution, and all others

will be Prosecuted when discover'd: This notice is given to prevent

all Persons incurring the like Trouble and Penalties.'

It seems strange, and somewhat in advance of the time, to hear of an

amateur magazine being started--but, at all events, such a thing was

proposed. 'Any Gentleman or Lady that is desirous of having any short

Poem, Epigram, Satyr &c. (published?) if they please to communicate

the Subjects to the Authors of the Diverting Muse, or the Universal

Medley, now in the Press and will be continued Monthly; or, if they

have any Song or other Poem of their own that is New and Entertaining,

if they please to direct them for Mr. George Daggastaff, to be left at

Mr. Hogarth's Coffee House in St. John's Gateway near Clerkenwell, the

former shall be done Gratis, and inserted in the Miscellany

abovemention'd, as also the latter, both paying the Postage or

Messenger.'[528] This liberal offer does not seem to have met with the

anticipated response, for I have looked in vain, in the Catalogues of

the British Museum and elsewhere, and can find no mention of the

'Diverting Muse.'

[Footnote 528: _Daily Courant_, June 23, 1707.]

CHAPTER XXX.

MEDICAL.

List of diseases -- Quackery -- Bleeding, etc. -- Physicians --

Surgeons -- Apothecaries -- Dissension between the physicians and

apothecaries -- The dispensary -- Pharmacopœias -- Some

nostrums -- Prescriptions -- Cupping -- Treatment of lunatics --

Physicians' carriages -- Dr. Radcliffe -- Sir Samuel Garth -- Sir

Hans Sloane -- Dr. Mead -- His duel with Woodward -- Study of

Anatomy -- Surgical instruments -- Oculists -- Sir William Read

-- Roger Grant -- The Queen touching for the evil -- Description

of the ceremony -- Quacks' remedies -- Quack harangues.

People got ill then as now, and, judging by the following list, there

were just about as many diseases, only scientific names had not taken

the place of the old homely nomenclature. This is taken from a list of

deaths from all causes: 'Age. Ague and Fever, Appoplex and Suddenly,

Bleach, Blasted, Bloody Flux, Scouring and Flux. Burns and Scalds.

Bleeding, Calenture, Cancer, Gangrene and Fistula, Wolf, Canker,

Soremouth and Thrush, Colick and Wind, Cough and Cold, Consumption and

Cough, Convulsion, Cramp, Dropsie and Tympany, Excessive drinking,

Falling Sickness, Flox and Small Pox, French pox, Gout, Grief, Head

Ach, Jaundice, Jaw-faln, Impostume, Itch, King's Evil, Lethargy,

Leprosie, Liver-grown, Spleen and Rickets, Lunatick, Meagrom,

Measles, Mother, Palsie, Plague, Plague in the Guts, Pleurisie,

Purples and Spotted Fever, Quinsie and Sore Throat, Rising of the

Lights, Rupture, Scal'd head, Scurvy, Sores and Ulcers, Spleen,

Shingles, Stitch, Stone and Strangury, Sciatica, Stopping of the

Stomach, Surfet. Swine Pox. Teeth and Worms, Tissick, Vomiting, Wen.'

Of these, the most deaths resulted from consumption and cough, next

ague and fever, then flox and smallpox. The infant mortality was

terrible--the great cause of death being put down as teeth and worms.

Consumption even now baffles the skill of our physicians. Quinine was

then used for ague and fever, not as the crystal alkaloid, but in the

rough bark, which was sold as 'Jesuits Bark,' at prices ranging from

4_s._ to 10_s._ per lb. Smallpox, inoculation or vaccination being

unknown, was a fearful scourge, and spared no one--helped, as it was,

by the all but utter ignorance of sanitary science, to the value of

which we, in this generation, are only awaking.

Quackery was rampant, probably because people did not have much belief

in the healing powers of the regular practitioners. Herbs and simples

were much in use; and not only were there fearful remedies concocted

by fair hands in the still-room, but naturally every old woman had

faith in the traditional medicaments handed down to her by her

forefathers. Also the empiricism of the alchemists still lingered--see

the following advertisement: 'Whereas the Viper hath been a Medicine

approv'd by the Physicians of all Nations; there is now prepar'd the

Volatile Spirit compound of it, a Preparation altogether new, not only

exceeding all Volatiles and Cordials whatsoever, but all the

Preparations of the Viper itself, being the Receipt of a late Eminent

Physician, and prepar'd only by a Relation. It is the most Sovereign

Remedy against all Faintings, Sweatings, Lowness of Spirits, Vapours

&c.--As also in all Habits of Body or Disorders proceeding from

Intemperance, eating of Fruit, drinking of bad Wine, or any other

poysonous or crude Liquors, and is good to take off the ill Effects or

Remains of the Bark or Jesuits Powder.'

_Bleeding_ and _purging_--these were the main remedies relied on in

those old days; something to make the patient remember his illness by,

as he did his doctor's bill, by the quantity of medicine he had

swallowed. Brown, satirist as he was, was truthful, even to

coarseness, and neither he nor Ward told lies in order to round a

sentence, or point an epigram. This is how Brown[529] makes a

fashionable physician describe his practice: 'He pays well, and takes

Physick freely; besides I particularly know his Constitution; after

Bleeding, he must take a Purge or two, then some Cordial Powders,

Dulcifiers of the Blood, and two or three odd things more.... I tell

you 'tis an easie thing for a Man of Parts to be a Surgeon; do but buy

a Lancet, Forceps, Saw; talk a little of Contusions, Fractures,

Compress and Bandage; you'll presently, by most People, be thought an

excellent Surgeon.... I myself have turn'd out several Doctors out of

Families because they would not prescribe Physick _plentifully_, and

in large Quantities. I have perswaded my Patients, that they did not

well understand their Distemper; so have brought in another who has

_swingingly dos'd 'um_. I could tell you of a Sir _Harry_ that paid an

£100 for Physick in six Weeks, and I accepted it, being a Friend,

without requiring one Penny for my own Fees.'

[Footnote 529: _The Dispensary_, by Thos. Brown.]

The profession then, as now, was divided among Physicians, Surgeons,

and Apothecaries; and the relative position of two of them is

mentioned by Addison[530]: 'An Operator of this Nature might act under

me with the same regard as a Surgeon to a Physician; the one might be

employ'd in healing those Blotches and Tumours which break out in the

Body, while the other is sweetening the Blood and rectifying the

Constitution.' The Apothecaries, of course, kept shops for the supply

of drugs.

[Footnote 530: _Spectator_, No. 16.]

In the great fire of 1666 the College of Physicians, which was at Amen

Corner, was burnt down, and a new one built, which was used till 1825,

in Warwick Lane:--

Not far from that most celebrated Place,

Where angry Justice shews her awful Face;

Where little Villains must submit to Fate,

That great ones may enjoy the World in State;

There stands a Dome, majestick to the sight,

And sumptuous Arches bear its oval height;

A golden Globe plac'd high with artful skill,

Seems, to the distant sight, a gilded Pill.

--_The Dispensary_, by Dr. Garth, Canto 1, ed. 1699.

This was the building that the profession thought was mainly built by

the munificence of Sir John Cutler; but after his death his executors

demanded 7,000_l._ for money _lent_, and were eventually repaid

2,000_l._ Pope wrote of Cutler:--

His Grace's fate sage Cutler could foresee

And well (he thought,) advis'd him, 'Live like Me.'

As well his Grace replied, 'Like you, Sir John?

That I can do, when all I have is gone.'

Ward[531] sums up the physician's privileges: 'What Priviledges, said

I, extraordinary are Granted to them in their Charter, above what are

held by other Physicians who are not of their Society? Many, replied

my friend, and these in particular, viz. No Person, tho' a Graduate in

Physick of _Oxford_ or _Cambridge_, and a Man of more Learning,

Judgment and Experience than one half of their Members, shall have the

liberty of practising in, or within Seven Miles of _London_, without

License under the Colledge Seal; Or in any other part of _England_, if

they have not taken some Degree at one of the Universities; They have

also power to administer an Oath, which they know by Experience is as

practicable to be broke the next Day, as 'tis to be taken; They can

likewise Fine and Imprison Offenders, in the Science of Physick, and

all such who presume to Cure a Patient, when they have given 'em over,

by more excellent Measures than ever were known by their Ignorance;

They have also the Priviledge of making By Laws, for the Interest of

themselves, and Injury of the Publick, and can purchase Lands in Right

of the Corporation, if they could but find Money to pay for 'em; they

have authority to examine the Medicines in all Apothecaries Shops, to

Judge of the wholesomeness and Goodness of many Drugs and Compositions

they never yet understood; They are likewise exempt from troublesome

Offices, as _Jury men_, _Constables_, &c.'

[Footnote 531: _London Spy._]

A visiting physician's fee was a guinea, but a consulting one's less.

'The Worshipful Graduate in the noble Art of Man slaughter, receiv'd

us with a Civility that was peculiar to him at the sight of four Half

Crowns.' A suit of black (velvet if possible), a full-bottomed wig, a

muff, and a gold- or silver-headed cane formed the outward adornment

of the physician.

The surgeons, not being incorporated till 1800, had no special

meeting-place; but the apothecaries had their Hall in Water Lane,

Blackfriars, which had been built in 1670, and is thus described by

Garth:--

Nigh where _Fleet Ditch_ descends in sable Streams,

To wash his sooty _Naiads_ in the _Thames_;

There stands a Structure on a Rising Hill,

Where _Tyro's_ take their Freedom out to kill.

--_The Dispensary_, Canto 3, ed. 1699.

Professional etiquette was, as a rule, strictly adhered to, and these

divisions did not interfere with each other, although Brown[532]

intimates that it was done occasionally: '_Gallypot...._ "For tho' I

am an Old Apothecary, I am but a Young Doctor. For I visit in either

Capacity, either as an Old Apothecary, which is as good as a Young

Doctor, or as a Young Doctor, and that's as good as t'other again."

_Trueman._ "But I thought you had left off Shop, and stuck only to

your Doctorship?" _Gallypot._ "So I do _openly_, but _privately I keep

a Shop_, and side in all things with the Apothecaries against the

Doctors."'

[Footnote 532: _The Dispensary._]

This allusion refers to a curious dissension which had arisen in the

profession. The physicians at the latter end of the seventeenth

century were undoubtedly an ignorant and unscientific race; and the

apothecaries, finding that if they did not know as much, they could

soon do so, began to prescribe on their own responsibility, as

Pope[533] says:--

So modern 'pothecaries taught the art

By Doctor's bills, to play the Doctor's part;

Bold in the practice of mistaken rules,

Prescribe, apply, and calls their Masters fools.

[Footnote 533: _Essay on Criticism._]

The physicians naturally resented this, and making a pretext that the

apothecary's charges were so enormous as to render their prescriptions

useless to the poor, they eventually set up a Dispensary of their own

at the College, where they sold medicines to the poor at cost price.

And this accusation was warranted, if we can believe Brown. 'Pray how

do ye at your end of the Town prize a Dose of common Purging Pills?'

'Why, Brother, about Eighteenpence, sometimes Two Shillings, with an

_Haustus_ after them of Three and Sixpence.' 'And can you live so? I

believe all the things cost you at least a Shilling out of Pocket.'

'No, God forbid! How could I live then? Indeed they cost me about

Sixpence, and I take but Five Shillings and Sixpence, sometimes less,

and I think that's honest Gains.'

This Dispensary was the cause of great disturbance, and split the

profession into Dispensarians and anti-Dispensarians, and a naturally

acrimonious feeling sprang up, which was only allayed by the obnoxious

Dispensary being given up, when things fell back into their old

groove.

The Pharmacopœias then in use were 'Lasher's,' 'Bate's Dispensary,'

'Hartman's Family Physitian,' and 'Salmon's Collectanea Medica'[534];

and very curious indeed were some of the medicines prescribed, as

'Live Hog Lice,' 'Burnt Cork quenched in Aqua Vitæ,' 'Red Coral,' 'New

Gathered Earth Worms,' 'Live Toads,' 'Black tips of Crabs Claws,'

'Man's Skull,' 'Elk's hoofs,' 'Leaves of Gold,' 'Man's bones

calcined,' 'Inward skin of a Capon's Gizzard,' 'Goose dung, gather'd

in the Spring time, dry'd in the Sun,' 'Stone of a Carp's head,'

'Unicorn's horn,' 'Boar's tooth,' 'Jaw of a Pike,' 'Wind pipes of

Sheep cleansed and dryed in an Oven, Wind pipes of Capons in like

manner prepared,' 'Sea Horse tooth rasped,' 'Frog's livers,' 'White

dung of a Peacock dryed,' 'Toads and Vipers flesh,' 'Cuttle fish

bone,' and many others even more repulsive than these.

[Footnote 534: A very long list of medical works of the time

can be seen at the end of Dr. Garth's poem of _The

Dispensary_, ed. 1699, B. M. 840 h. 6/2.]

How would one like to take this medicine for smallpox? '_Pulvis

Æthiopicus_, the Black Powder. ℞. Live Toads, No. 30 or 40, burn

them in a new Pot, to black Cinders or Ashes, and make a fine pouder.

Dose ʒss. or more in the Small Pox &c. and is a certain help for

such as are ready to die: some also commend it as a wonderful thing

for the cure of the Dropsie.'

'_Pulvis Ictericus_, A Pouder against the Yellow Jaundice. ℞.

Goose dung gather'd in the Spring time, dry'd in the Sun, and finely

pouder'd ℥ij., the best Saffron ʒi., white Sugar candy

℥ij., mix and make a pouder. Dose ʒij. twice a day in Rhenish

wine, for six days together. Or thus--℞. Roots of Turmerick, white

Tartar, Mars prepared. A ℥ss. Earthworms, Choice Rhubarb ʒij.,

mix and make a powder. Dose ʒj. in a little Glass of White Wine.

An Acquaintance of mine, a Learned Physician, usually makes both the

Compositions into One, and assures me that he never found it once to

fail.'

'_Ranarum Hepata_, Livers of Frogs. ℞. They are prepared by drying

them upon Colewort Leaves in a Closed Vessel, and then poudring them.

S.A. Dose ʒss. against the Epilepsie, Quartan Ague &c. If they be

dried and preserved with the galls adjoyning, the medicine will be

stronger and better; and may then be given Morning and Evening à

℈j. ad ℈ij. in any fit Vehicle.'

'_Corrus Epilepticus._ The Antepileptic Crow or Raven. ℞. The

greater Crow, deplumate, and eviscerate it, casting away its Feet and

Bill; put into its Belly the Heart, Liver, Lungs, Bladder of the Gall,

with Galangal and Aniseeds, A ℥iv. bake it in a new Earthen Vessel

well shut or closed in an Oven with Household Bread; after it is

cooled, separate the Flesh from the Sides or Bones, and repeat this

Operation of baking the second or third time, but taking great care

that it may not be burnt, then reduce it into a fine pouder. S.A. Dose

ʒj. every day, to such as are afflicted with the Falling Sickness;

it is a famous remedy. That there may be a more excellent Composition

than this, we doubt not, and are confident it may be improv'd to a

greater advantage; the Composition in our _Seplasium._ _lib._ 6.

_cap._ 21. _sect._ 11. seems to excel it, which is this. ℞. Of

Ravens Flesh in pouder (as the former Prescript advises) ʒiij.

Viper pouder, ʒj. native Cinnamon ʒj. (ad ʒss.) mix and

make a subtile Pouder for two Doses, to be given at Night going to

Bed.'

The above are all from one book, published 1706, and could be

multiplied to almost any extent, from this and the other

Pharmacopœias, were it necessary; but enough has been quoted to

show the ignorance and empiricism of the medical practitioners of that

day.

All remedies, however, were not of the foregoing description, and many

receipts seem admirably fitted to effect their desired purpose, the

great fault with them being that they were overloaded with extraneous

compounds, which could not possibly do the patient any good, and must

necessarily add greatly to the cost, if only the extra time taken in

their preparation be counted. Bleeding and purging, as before said,

were the remedies really relied on, and bleeding took place on the

slightest occasion. Not only the lancet, but cupping, was employed;

indeed, cuppers attended nearly every Bagnio or bath, as Ward says:

'I'll carry you to see the _Hummuns_, where I have an honest old

Acquaintance that is a Cupper.' He describes the operation thus: 'By

the Perswasions of my Friend, and my Friend's Friend, I at last

consented; upon which the Operator fetch'd in his Instruments, and

fixes three Glasses at my Back, which by drawing out the Air, stuck to

me as close as a _Cantharides_ Plaister to the Head of a Lunatick, and

Sucked as hard as so many Leeches, till I thought they would have

crept into me, and have come out on t'other side. When by Virtue of

this _Hocus Pocus_ Stratagem, he had conjur'd all the ill blood out of

my Body, under his glass Juggling Cups, he plucks out an ill favour'd

Instrument, at which I was as much frighted, as an absconding Debtor

is at the sight of a Bill of Middlesex, takes off his Glasses, which

had made my Shoulders as weary as a Porter's Back under a heavy

Burthen, and begins to Scarifie my Skin, as a Cook does a Loin of Pork

to be Roasted; but with such Ease and Dexterity, that I could have

suffer'd him to have Pink'd me all over as full of Eyelet holes, as

the Taylor did the Shoemakers Cloak, had any Malady requir'd it,

without Flinching; when he had drawn away as much Blood as he thought

Necessary, for the removal of my pain, he cover'd the Places he had

Carbonaded, with a new Skin, provided for that purpose, and healed the

Scarifications he had made, in an Instant.'

'A _Cantharides_ Plaister to the Head of a Lunatick' shows us somewhat

how those poor unfortunates who were bereft of their senses were

treated. Of Bethlehem Hospital I will speak in another place,

regarding it more as a prison for the safe keeping of mad people than

as an hospital, where, by any means, those cloudy intellects could be

brightened up and cleared.

If the relatives or friends could afford it, they were put under the

charge of some one, as now, who would pretend to try and cure them;

but then, unlike the present time, there was not even the form of a

visitation to hear complaints, or to report on ill-treatment. 'At the

Pestle and Mortar on Snow Hill, is a Person who has had great

Experience and success in curing Lunaticks, he has also conveniences

for Persons of both Sexes, good and diligent Attendance for the best

ranks of People, and having for several years past, perform'd it to

the satisfaction of many Families: He therefore makes this Publick, to

inform, where on very reasonable rates the same Cure shall be

industriously endeavour'd, and (with God's Blessing) effected.' Does

it not look like a model for a modern advertisement? How Dr. So and

So, assisted by a large staff of well-trained domestics, etc.

Here is an advertisement of a private Mad House. 'It being

industriously given out by some malicious Persons, That the House of

the Late Claudius Gillat at Hoxton, for the Accommodation of

Lunaticks, is shut up; These are to Certify, that the said House is

still kept by William Prowting, Apothecary, who has all Conveniences

fitting for such persons; as a large House, pleasant Gardens, &c., and

gives Liberty to any Physician, Surgeon or Apothecary, of

administering Physick to those that are recommended by them.'

Another Advertisement, however, lets a little light into the treatment

of the mentally afflicted: 'A Dumb young Man broke his Chain last

Wednesday Night, and left his Friends from their House in Compton

Street, next door to the Golden Ball Alehouse, Soho, and those that

will take Care to bring him Home, shall be Rewarded. He has been Mad

these 23 Years.'

Garth thus describes a prosperous physician:--

Triumphant Plenty, with a chearful grace

Basks in their Eyes, and sparkles in their Face.

How sleik their looks, how goodly is their Mien,

When big they strut behind a double Chin.

Each Faculty in blandishments they lull,

Aspiring to be venerably dull.

Like his descendant of modern times, who cannot possibly be clever in

his profession unless he drives two horses to his brougham, the

physician of Queen Anne's reign had to have his coach; but then it

must have at least four horses--of course he must be vastly cleverer

if he could drive six--but still, his equipage must be well appointed,

and in the fashion. Of course he need not go to the extent Radcliffe

did; but Radcliffe made himself the laughing-stock of the town, both

by the gaiety of his turn-out and by a rumour getting abroad that he

had started it with the idea of favourably impressing a young and

wealthy lady, to whom this old Adonis of sixty would needs pay his

addresses--in which scheme, alas for the doctor! he was not

successful. Steele could not resist having a bit of fun over it. 'This

day, passing through Covent garden, I was stopped in the piazza by

PACOLET, to observe what he called the Triumph of LOVE and YOUTH. I

turned to the object he pointed at, and there I saw a gay gilt

Chariot, drawn by fresh prancing horses; the Coachman with a new

Cockade, and the lacqueys with insolence and plenty in their

countenances. I asked immediately, "What young heir or lover owned

that glittering equipage?" But my companion interrupted: "Do you not

see there the mourning Æsculapius?" "The mourning?" said I. "Yes,

Isaac," said Pacolet, "he's in deep mourning, and is the languishing,

hopeless lover of the divine HEBE,[535] the emblem of youth and

beauty."'[536]

[Footnote 535: Miss Tempest, one of Queen Anne's Maids of

Honour.]

[Footnote 536: _The Tatler_, No. 44.]

His rival Hannes set up a beautiful carriage, etc., and it excited

universal attention. Some friend told him that Hannes' horses were the

finest he had seen. 'Ah,' snarled old Radcliffe, 'then he'll he able

to sell 'em for all the more.'

The principal physicians of Anne's reign were Dr. Radcliffe, Sir

Samuel Garth, Sir Hans Sloane, and Dr. Mead.

The first was born in 1650, took his M.D. degree in 1682, came to

London in 1684, and, somehow, at once got into good practice. He was

called in to the poor little Duke of Gloucester, when too late to be

of any service, and consoled himself by soundly rating the two

physicians, Sir E. Hannes and Sir Rd. Blackmore, for their previous

conduct of the case. But he was not the court physician, for which he

had himself to thank. The Queen, when the Princess Anne, got somewhat

hypochondriac, after the death of her sister Queen Mary, and sent for

Radcliffe to come at once to see her. He was at a tavern in St.

James's, enjoying his bottle. He knew there was nothing the matter,

and physicians were not so smooth-tongued as they are now: so he very

rudely refused to go, and sent back a message that it was all fancy,

and that her Royal Highness was as well as anyone else. Next morning

he presented himself at the palace, only to be informed that he had

been dismissed, and that Dr. Gibbons had already received his

appointment. The Queen would never forgive him; but, on her death-bed,

he was sent for to attend her, when he returned as answer that 'he had

taken physic and could not come.' The Queen died, and great was the

popular wrath against the doctor for his refusal. He might have saved

her life, said the people; and after the manner of their kind, they

sent him threatening letters; nay, a friend of his moved that he might

be summoned to attend in his place in Parliament (he was member for

the town of Buckingham) in order to be censured for not attending her

Majesty. He did not long survive her, dying on Nov. 1, 1714.

One anecdote told of him is too good not to be repeated. He would

never even pay a tradesman without squabbling over the account. A

paviour had been repairing the pavement in front of his house, and

when he applied for his money was told he had spoiled it, and then

covered it with earth to hide his bad work. 'Doctor,' replied the man,

'mine is not the only bad work the earth hides.'

Sir Samuel Garth took his degree of M.D. in 1691, was elected a Fellow

of the College in 1692, and took a prominent part in the famous

dispute as to the Dispensary--writing in 1699 his poem of that name,

which had at once a large sale. Garth wrote many poems, translated

Ovid, and it was to him that Dryden owed his public funeral, for, as

Ward says, 'they had like to let him pass in private to his Grave,

without those Funeral Obsequies suitable to his Greatness, had it not

been for that true _British_ Worthy, who, Meeting with the Venerable

Remains of the neglected Bard passing silently in a Coach, unregarded,

to his last Home, ordered the Corps, by the consent of his few Friends

that Attended him to be Respited from so obscure an Interment; and

most Generously undertook at his own Expence, to revive his Worth in

the Minds of a forgetful People, by bestowing on his peaceful Dust a

Solemn Funeral Answerable to his Merit.' He had the body removed to

the College of Physicians, where it lay in state previous to its

removal, with great pomp, to Westminster Abbey.

He was a member of the Kit Cat Club, and the story is told of him that

one day at a meeting of that club he sat so long over his wine that

Steele reminded him of his duty to his patients. Garth replied that

'it was no matter whether he saw them that night or next morning, for

nine had such bad constitutions that no physician could save them, and

the other six had such good ones that all the physicians in the world

could not kill them.' He died Jan. 18, 1719.

The name of Sir Hans Sloane is undoubtedly the most familiar to the

ears of this generation of all the doctors of that time; especially to

Londoners, Sloane Street and Square, and Hans Place, being all

reminiscences of him, through the marriage of his daughter Elizabeth

with the second Baron Cadogan.

He was of Scotch extraction, but born in Ireland, in 1660. Already a

Fellow of the College of Physicians and Royal Society, he accompanied

as physician the Duke of Albemarle (who had been appointed Governor of

the West Indies) to Jamaica. The Duke soon died out there, and Sloane

returned to England with a large collection of the flora and fauna of

the countries he had visited. To this voyage may be attributed the

foundation of the British Museum, for it gave him the taste for

collecting rarities of every description, and, to prevent his museum

from being dispersed after his death, he bequeathed it to the nation,

on condition of the payment of 20,000_l._ to his family. Montague

House was purchased to contain the curiosities; and from this small

beginning has arisen that marvellous national collection, the finest

in the world. Honours flowed in upon him, and after a very busy life,

he died at a good old age in 1752.

Dr. Rd. Mead was born in 1673. Clever in his profession, and the

author of many medical treatises, undoubtedly he owed much of his

position to Radcliffe, whose patronage he secured by the most

unblushing adulation. He took advantage of every opportunity, such as

moving into the larger house of a physician recently dead; and should

have amassed a large fortune, as for many years he was earning between

5,000_l._ and 6,000_l._ per annum. Although his consulting fee was one

guinea and his visiting fee two, he would attend either Batson's, or

Tom's, Coffee Houses (the former being a noted place of resort for

medical men), and thither would come the apothecaries, for whom he

would write prescriptions, without seeing the patient, at half a

guinea each. He is remarkable as the doctor who fought a duel. It was

with Woodward, who had not only attacked him in his 'State of Physick

and Diseases,' but insulted him in public. Matters came to a climax

one day when they were leaving Gresham College, and, under the arch

leading from the outer to the Green Court, Mead's patience gave way.

He drew, and called upon Woodward to defend himself or beg his pardon.

Whether they ever actually fought or not is not known, although there

is a _bon-mot_ about Mead disarming Woodward and telling him to beg

for his life. 'Never till I am your patient,' was his reply. Certain

it is that Woodward gave in, and Mead lived in peace.

Mead was called in consultation when the Queen was in her last

illness, and he plainly gave his opinion that she would not survive,

but he did not attend her. He died Feb. 16, 1754, and was buried in

the Temple Church.

There must have been some hot blood in the profession in those days,

for Luttrell says: '6 July, 1704. Mr. Coatsworth, an apothecary in St.

Martin's Lane, convicted in Easter term, upon an information in the

Queen's bench, for assaulting Dr. Ratcliffe, at Tom's Coffee House, by

spitting in his face, upon some words that arose between them, was

upon Monday fined 100 marks, which he paid into Court.'

The practice of surgery was attended with some difficulties, for there

were no public schools of anatomy as now: nay, it was as late as 1667

that Evelyn presented to the Royal Society, as a wonderful curiosity,

the Table of Veins, Arteries, and Nerves which he had caused to be

made in Italy.

We see that anatomy had to be taught privately, but still that there

were professors who were capable of teaching. 'On Monday the 13th

Instant, Mr. _Rolfe_ Surgeon in _Chancery Lane_ intends to begin at

his House a compleat Course of Anatomy on Human Bodies, _viz._

Osteology, Myology, and Enterology, to be continued Every Monday,

Wednesday, and Friday.' The knife was freely used, and the instruments

were far from clumsy; but conservative surgery was also practised, and

many orthopædic mechanical appliances were in use. 'Charles Roberts,

who makes Steel Stays, Strait Stockings, Steel Boots, Collars,

Cheiques and Swings, and by many years practice, having brought the

same to great perfection, is perswaded to give this publick notice for

the benefit of such who suffer by Deformity.'

The barbers also bled and drew teeth, as many now do.

The oculists of that day were particularly pushing, and puffed and

lied themselves into notoriety with vigour. Chief of them was Sir

William Read, oculist to her most gracious majesty; and if anybody

wishes to see how much that tender organ the eye can be abused by an

oculist, let him read his 'Short but Exact Account of all the Diseases

Incident to the Eyes.' Originally a tailor in a small way of business,

he managed, somehow, to rise so as to become the Queen's sworn

oculist, and to be knighted; nor only so, but was able to keep up a

good establishment and a magnificent equipage. One thing is

certain--he thoroughly knew the value of advertising; and the

accompanying illustration is taken from one of his handbills, probably

about 1696. In it he gives a list of wonderful cures he has wrought,

how he has cured wry necks, harelips, cut out cancers, trepanned

skulls, operated on wens and polypuses, cured dropsy, cut off a man's

leg, and given sight to numerous people who were born blind.

His knighthood is thus recorded in the _Gazette_ of July 30/Aug. 1,

1705: 'Windsor 27 July. Her Majesty was this day Graciously pleased to

confer the Honour of Knighthood upon William Read Esq. Her Majesty's

Oculist in Ordinary, as a Mark of her Royal Favour for his great

Services done in Curing great Numbers of Seamen and Soldiers of

Blindness _gratis_.' This he advertised to do all through the war; and

when the Palatines came over here he publicly offered to attend any

of them for diseases of the eye gratis. And now, forsooth, he

advertised that 'Lady Read' would attend to patients as well; and some

Grub Street poet wrote a poem, called 'The Oculist,' 'Address'd to Sir

_William Read_, Knt.,' with a long and fulsome dedication. One part of

the poem runs:--

[Illustration: Sir William Read Operating.]

Whilst _Britain's_ Sovereign Scales such WORTH has weigh'd,

And ANNE her self her smiling Favours paid:

That Sacred Hand does Your fair Chaplet twist,

Great READ her own Entitled OCULIST.

..............................................

When the Great ANNE'S warm Smiles this Favourite raise,

'Tis not a Royal Grace she gives, but pays.

Swift[537] writes to Stella of Read's sumptuous way of living: 'Henley

would fain engage me to go with Steele and Rowe &c. to an invitation

at Sir William Read's. Surely you have heard of him. He has been a

Mountebank, and is the Queen's Oculist; he makes admirable punch, and

treats you in gold vessels. But I am engaged, and won't go.'

[Footnote 537: _Journal_, April 11, 1711.]

His rival, who was also the Queen's sworn oculist, was Roger Grant,

who, report said, was originally a tinker, and afterwards an

anabaptist preacher in Southwark.

Her Majesty sure was in a Surprise,

Or else was very short sighted;

When a _Tinker_ was sworn to look after Eyes,

And the Mountebank _Read_ was _Knighted_.

He also advertised largely, and published lists of his cures, with

certificates from the mayor and aldermen of Durham, Northampton,

Coventry, Hull, etc., touching the authenticity of his cures. How

these were procured is fully explained in a little tract called 'A

Full and True ACCOUNT of a _Miraculous_ CURE of a Young MAN in

_Newington_, That was Born BLIND, and was in Five Minutes brought to

Perfect Sight, by Mr. ROGER GRANT, Oculist,' 1709. The case in

question was advertised by Grant in the _Daily Courant_ of July 30,

1709, and the little book ruthlessly exposes the fraudulent manner in

which the certificate was obtained.

As has been said before, quackery was universal; nay, it had the

sanction of being practised by royalty, for was not the Queen an arch

quack when she touched for the 'evil'? She was the last of a long line

of sovereigns, from Edward the Confessor, who exercised the supposed

royal gift of healing; but this salutary efficacy was not confined to

the royal touch alone, if we can believe a little story of

Thoresby's[538]: 'Her Mother Mary Bailey of Deptford, after she had

been twelve years blind by the Kings evil was miraculously cured by a

handkerchief dipped in the blood of King Charles the First.'

[Footnote 538: _Diary_, July 14, 1714.]

Misson was present the last time James the Second touched, and has

left us a graphic account of the ceremony: 'The King was seated in a

Chair of State,[539] rais'd two or three Steps. The Reverend Father

_Peter_, with his little Band and his sweeping Cloak, was standing at

the King's Right Hand. After some Prayers, the diseased Person, or

those that pretended to be so,[540] were made to pass between a

narrow double Rail, which fac'd the King. Each Patient, Rich and Poor,

Male and Female, fell upon their knees, one after another, at the

King's Feet. The King putting forth his two Hands, touch'd their two

Cheeks; the Jesuit, who held a Number of Gold Medals, each fasten'd to

a narrow white Ribband, put the Ribband round the Patient's Neck at

the same Time that the King touch'd him, and said something tantamount

to what they say in _France_, _The King touches thee; God cure thee_.

This was done in a Trice; and for fear the same Patient should crowd

into the File again, to get another Medal,[541] he was taken by the

Arm, and carry'd into a safe place. When the King was weary of

repeating the same action, and touching the Cheek or Chin, Father

_Peter_ the Almoner, presented him with the End of the String which

was round the Patient's Neck. The Virtue pass'd from the Hand to the

String, from the String to the Cloaths, from the Cloaths to the Skin,

and from the Skin to the Root of the Evil: After this Royal Touch,

those that were really ill were put into the Hands of Physicians; and

those that came only for the Medal, had no need of other Remedies.'

This last sentence explains a great deal.

[Footnote 539: In the Banqueting Hall, Whitehall.]

[Footnote 540: On this occasion there were 300.]

[Footnote 541: These 'touch pieces' had on one side St.

George overcoming the dragon, and were called 'angels.']

William III. did not touch, but gave away the money hitherto spent on

the touch pieces, etc., in charity. But Anne, as a thoroughly

legitimate English monarch, and a Stuart to boot, kept up the fiction

of her curative powers. She tried it on Dr. Johnson, but it had no

effect; and his recollections of the ceremony were very vague. 'He

had,' he said, 'a confused but somehow a sort of solemn recollection

of a lady in diamonds, and a long black hood.' But then the staunch

old Jacobite used to declare that 'his mother had not carried him far

enough; she should have taken him to ROME' (to the Pretender).

Anne touched the very first year of her reign, for Luttrell[542] says,

'The Service and Attendance belonging to the Ceremony of touching for

the King's Evil went for Bath last Week, her Majesty desiring to touch

there.' Illness sometimes prevented her: 'Her Majesty did not touch

yesterday for the evil as design'd, having the gout in her

hands.'[543]

[Footnote 542: Oct 8, 1702.]

[Footnote 543: _Luttrell_, March 20, 1703.]

It evidently required some little interest to get touched, for Swift

writes[544] to Stella: 'I visited the Duchess of Ormond this

morning.... I spoke to her to get a lad touched for the Evil.... But

the Queen has not been able to touch, and it now grows so warm, I fear

she will not at all.'

[Footnote 544: _Journal_, May 8, 1711.]

Notices were duly posted in the _Gazette_ as to when she touched or

not, and in that of May 24/28, 1705, we find one which would lead us

to imagine that some unfair practice had arisen: 'It is also Her

Majesty's Command, That all Persons who shall then apply to be

touched, shall bring a Certificate to Her Majesty's Serjeant Surgeon,

signed by the Minister and Churchwardens of the Parish where such

Person shall then reside, that they never had before received the

Royal Touch, as been heretofore accustomed.'

It is impossible to take up a newspaper of that time without

encountering some quack advertisements, and the quantity of

handbills[545] still preserved, show how they must have flooded the

place. There was the 'Volatile _Spirit_ of BOHEA TEA,' 'Pilula

Salutiferens,' 'Spirit of Scurvy Grass,' 'Balsamick Pills,' 'Elixir

Minerale,' 'Green Cathartick Elixir,' 'The Hysterick Tincture,' 'The

White Cardialgic Powder,' 'The Volatile Cordial Pill,' 'Tinctura

Benedicta,' 'Electuarium Mirabile,' 'Electuary of the Balm of Gilead.'

What a list might be made of them! See what Addison says of them in

the _Tatler_ (224). The heading to one is given as a sample of the

style of art in the handbill.

[Footnote 545:

'If the pale Walker pants with weak'ning Ills,

His sickly Hand is stor'd with Friendly Bills:

From hence he learns the seventh born Doctor's Fame,

From hence he learns the cheapest Tailor's name.'

--_Trivia_, book 2.]

[Illustration: A Quack.]

This 'Paris Pill and Electuary' is described as follows: 'The Price of

a Box of the Pills is 2_s._ 6_d._ and a Pot of the Electuary 1_s._

6_d._ of w{ch} Pills and Electuary two Boxes & one Pot will be

sufficient for any one not very far gone in the Distemper, and Double

the Number will heal the Patient if in great Extremity. Sold by J.

Sherwood Book Seller at Popings aley Gate fleet street, With a paper

of Directions.'

In another advertisement of 'Dr. Anderson's, or the Famous Scots

Pills,' you are requested to 'Beware of Counterfeits, especially an

Ignorant pretender, one Muffen, who keeps a China Shop, and is so

unneighbourly as to pretend to sell the same Pills within 3 Doors of

me.'

But the quacks were not all stationary; as at present, some were

peripatetic, who, after the fashion of these wanderers, had an

eloquence of their own, which only Ward can do justice to. Here

is a short extract[546] of the 'patter' of those days. 'Gentlemen,

you that have a Mind to be Mindful of preserving a Sound Mind

in a Sound Body, that is, as the Learned Physician Doctor

_Honorificicabilitudinitatibusque_ has it, _Manus Sanaque in Cobile

Sanaquorum_, may here, at the expense of twopence, furnish himself

with a parcel, which tho' it is but small, yet containeth mighty

things of great Use and Wonderful Operation in the Bodies of Mankind,

against all Distempers, whether _Homogeneal_ or _Complicated_; whether

deriv'd from your _Parents_, got by _Infection_, or proceeding from an

ill Habit of your own Body.

[Footnote 546: _London Spy._]

'In the first place, Gentlemen, I here present you with a little

inconsiderable Pill to look at, you see not much bigger than a Corn of

Pepper, yet in this Diminutive _Pampharmica_, so powerful in effect,

and of such excellent Vertues, that if you have Twenty Distempers

lurking in the Mass of Blood, it shall give you just Twenty Stools,

and every time it operates, it carries off a Distemper; but if your

Blood's Wholesome, and your Body Sound, it will work you no more than

the same quantity of Ginger bread. I therefore call it, from its

admirable Qualities, _Pilula Ton dobula_, which signifies in the

Greek, _The Touch Stone of Nature_; For by taking of this Pill you

will truly discover what state of Health or Infirmity your

Constitution is then under.

'In the next place, Gentlemen, I present you with an excellent outward

application, call'd a Plaister; good against Green Wounds, old

Fistulas and Ulcers, Pains and Aches, Contusions, Tumours or King's

Evil, Spasms, Fractures, or Dislocations, or any Hurts whatsoever,

received either by Sword, Cane, or Gun Shot, Knife, Saw, or Hatchet,

Hammer, Nail or Tenter hook, Fire, Blast or Gunpowder, &c. And will

continue its Vertue beyond Credit; and as useful seven years hence as

at this present Moment, that you may lend it to your Neighbours in the

time of Distress and Affliction; and, when it has perform'd Forty

Cures 'twill be ne'er the Worse, but still retain its Integrity.

_Probatum Est_,' etc.

Dr. Zachary Pearce, Bishop of Rochester, who wrote No. 572 of the

_Spectator_ (altered by Addison), gives an amusing account of one of

these quacks. 'I remember one of those Public-spirited Artists at

_Hammersmith_, who told his Audience "that he had been born and bred

there, and that, having a special Regard for the place of his

Nativity, he was determined to make a Present of five Shillings to as

many as would accept of it." The whole Crowd stood agape, and ready to

take the Doctor at his Word; when putting his Hand into a long Bag, as

every one was expecting his Crown Piece, he drew out a handful of

little Packets, each of which he informed the Spectators was

constantly sold at five Shillings and six pence, but that he would

bate the odd five Shillings to every Inhabitant of that Place; the

whole Assembly immediately closed with this generous Offer, and took

off all his Physick, after the Doctor had made them vouch for one

another, that there were no Foreigners among them, but that they were

all _Hammersmith_ Men.' The whole article is an amusing _exposé_ of

the quackery then at its height. 'I unluckily called to mind a Story

of an Ingenious Gentleman of the last Age, who, lying violently

afflicted with the Gout, a Person came and offered his Service to Cure

him by a Method, which he assured him was Infallible; the Servant who

received the Message, carried it up to his Master, who, enquiring

whether the Person came on Foot, or in a Chariot; and being informed

he was on Foot: _Go_, says he, _send the Knave about his Business: Was

his Method as infallible as he pretends, he would long before now have

been in his Coach and Six_.

CHAPTER XXXI.

SPAS AND BATHING.

Bath -- Manners of the company there -- Description of Bath --

Its gaieties -- Sale of the water -- Tunbridge -- Epsom --

Hampstead -- Other spas -- Turkish baths -- Controversy on hot

and cold bathing -- The Hummums -- Description of a Turkish bath

-- Other bagnios -- Cold bathing and baths.

It was a great time for our English spas, and 'Spaw Water' was a

favourite drink with the temperate. Chief of all, for its curative

qualities, and for its society, was Bath, or 'The Bath,' as it was

called; and, as it occupies such a prominent position in the social

life of this time, more than a passing notice of it is required.

Misson's description of it is short but businesslike. 'This Town takes

its name from the Baths for which it is famous. Several in

_Switzerland_ and _Germany_ are called _Baden_ for the same reason. In

Winter _Bath_ makes a very melancholy Appearance; but during the

Months of _May_, _June_, _July_, and _August_, there is a concourse of

genteel Company, that peoples, enriches, and adorns it; at that Time,

Provisions and Lodgings grow dear. Thousands go thither to pass away a

few Weeks, without heeding either the Baths or the Waters, but only to

divert themselves with good Company. They have Musick, Gaming, Public

Walks, Balls, and a little Fair every Day.'

The manners of this 'concourse of genteel company' are thus described

by Steele.[547] 'In the Autumn of the same Year I made my Appearance

at _Bath_. I was now got into the Way of Talk proper for Ladies, and

was run into a vast Acquaintance among them, which I always improved

to the _best advantage_. In all this Course of Time, and some Years

following, I found a Sober, Modest Man was always looked upon by both

Sexes as a precise unfashioned Fellow of no Life or Spirit. It was

ordinary for a Man who had been drunk in good Company, or passed a

Night with a Wench, to speak of it next Day before Women for whom he

had the greatest Respect. He was reproved, perhaps, with a Blow of the

Fan, or an Oh Fie, but the angry Lady still preserved an apparent

Approbation in her Countenance: He was called a strange wicked Fellow,

a sad Wretch; he shrugs his shoulders, swears, receives another Blow,

swears again he did not know he swore, and all was well. You might

often see Men game in the Presence of Women, and throw at once for

more than they were worth, to recommend themselves as Men of Spirit.'

[Footnote 547: _Spectator_, No. 154.]

Perhaps the most graphic description of daily life at Bath is given in

a sixpenny pamphlet entitled 'A Step to the Bath with a Character of

the place' (London 1700). It is published anonymously, but I have no

doubt in my own mind that it was written by Ward, as it is exactly his

style, and is published by his publisher. Of course, in his writings,

we must not look for polished language; but his descriptions are

accurate, and as such well worth having. He thus describes the

place:--

'The first we went to, is call'd the _King's_; and to it joyns the

Queen's, both running in one; and the most famous for Cures. In this

_Bath_ was at least fifty of both Sexes, with a Score or two of

Guides, who by their Scorbutic Carcasses, and Lackered Hides, you

would think they had lain Pickling a Century of Years in the Stygian

Lake; Some had those Infernal Emissaries to support their Impotent

Limbs: Others to Scrub their Putrify'd Carcasses, like a Race

Horse.... At the Pump was several a Drenching their Gullets, and

Gormandizing the Reaking Liquor by wholesale.

'From thence we went to the Cross Bath, where most of the Quality

resorts, more fam'd for _Pleasure_ than _Cures_. Here is perform'd all

the Wanton Dalliances imaginable; Celebrated Beauties, Panting

Breasts, and Curious Shapes, almost Expos'd to Publick View:

Languishing eyes, Darting Killing Glances, Tempting Amorous Postures,

attended by soft Musick, enough to provoke a _Vestal_ to forbidden

Pleasure, Captivate a _Saint_, and charm a _Jove_: Here was also

different Sexes, from _Quality_ to the Honourable _Knights_, Country

_Put_, and City _Madam's_.... The ladies with their floating _Jappan_

Bowles, freighted with Confectionary, Kick-Knacks, Essences and

Perfumes, Wade about, like _Neptun's_ Courtiers, suppling their

Industrious Joynts. The Vigorous Sparks, presenting them with several

Antick Postures, as Sailing on their Backs, then Embracing the

Element, sink in Rapture.... The usual time being come to forsake that

fickle Element, _Half Tub Chairs_, Lin'd with Blankets, Ply'd as thick

as _Coaches_ at the _Play House_, or _Carts_ at the _Custom House_.

'Bathing being over for that Day we went to walk in the Grove, a very

pleasant place for Diversion; there is the _Royal Oak_ and several

Raffling Shops: In one of the Walks, is several Sets of Nine Pins and

Attendants to wait on you: Tipping all Nine for a Guinea, is as common

there, as two Farthings for a _Porrenger_ of _Barley Broth_, at the

_Hospital Gate_ in Smithfield. On several of the Trees was hung a

Lampoon on the Marriage of one Mr. S----a Drugmonger and the famous

Madam S---- of London.

'Having almost tir'd ourselves with walking, we took a Bench to ease

our weary Pedestals. Now, said my Friend, I'll give you an impartial

Account of the Perfections, Qualities and Functions, of a few

particular Persons that are among this Amphibious Crowd.... To give

you a particular Description of each of 'em, will require a Week's

time at least. Come, therefore, let's go to some Tipling Mansion, and

Carrouse, till we have Exhilerated our Drouthy Souls: To which I

readily agreed. About five in the Evening, we went to see a great

Match at Bowling: There was _Quality_, and Reverend _Doctors_ of both

Professions, Topping _Merchants_, Broken _Bankers_, Noted _Mercers_,

Inns of Court _Rakes_, City _Beaus_, Stray'd _Prentices_, and

_Dancing-Masters_ in abundance. _Fly, fly, fly, fly_, said one; _Rub,

Rub_, rub, rub, cry'd another. _Ten Guineas to five I Uncover the

Jack_, says a third. _Damn these Nice Fingers of mine_, cry'd my Lord,

_I Slipt my Bowl and mistook the Bias_. Another Swearing he knew the

Ground to an Inch, and would hold five Pound his Bowl came in.

'From hence we went to the _Groom Porters_, where they were a

Labouring like so many _Anchor Smiths_, at the _Oake_, _Back Gammon_,

_Tick Tack_, _Irish_, _Basset_, and throwing of _Mains_. There was

Palming, Lodging, Loaded Dice, Levant, and Gammoning, with all the

Speed imaginable; but the _Cornish_ Rook was too hard for them all.

The _Bristol Fair_ Sparks had but a very bad bargain of it; and little

occasion for Returns. _Bank Bills_ and _Exchequer Notes_ were as

Plenty, as _Pops_ at the _Chocolate Houses_ or _Patternoster Row_.

Having satisfied our Curiosity here; we left them as busie a shaking

their Elbows, as the _Apple Women_ in _Stocks Market_, Wallnuts in

_October_.

'And meeting with three or four more Acquaintance, we stroul'd to a

_Bristol-Milk Dary-House_, and Enjoy'd our selves like brave

_Bacchanalians_.'

This, then, was how the day was spent at Bath, with the exception of

when some person of quality gave an entertainment to a select number

of visitors--and this they were expected to do. Our writer describes

his experience of one: 'The Ball is always kept at the Town Hall, a

very spacious Room, and fitted up for that Purpose. During which, the

Door is kept by a Couple of Brawny Beadles, to keep out the Mobility,

looking as fierce as the Uncouth Figures at _Guild-Hall_; there was

Extraordinary Fine Dancing (and how could it otherwise chuse, for

Spouse and I had a Hand in it). A Consort of Delicate Musick, Vocal

and Instrumental, perform'd by good Masters; A Noble Collation of dry

Sweet Meats, Rich Wine and large Attendance. The Lady who was the

_Donor_, wore an Extraordinary Rich Favour, to distinguish her from

the rest, which is always the Custom; and before they break up to

chuse another for the next Day, which fell upon a Shentlewoman of

_Wales_; but no ways Derogated from hur Honour, or Disparag'd her

Country in the least, but hur was as Noble, and as Generous, as e'er

an _English_ Shentlewoman of them all: To hur Honour be it Spoke.'

And he winds up the pamphlet with 'A Character of the Bath.'

'Tis neither Town nor City, yet goes by the Name of both: five Months

in the Year 'tis as Populous as _London_, the other seven as desolate

as a Wilderness. Its chiefest Inhabitants are Turnspit-Dogs; and it

looks like _Lombard Street_ on a Saints day. During the Season, it

hath as many Families in a House as _Edenborough_; and Bills are as

thick for Lodgings to be Let, as there was for Houses in the _Fryars_

on the Late Act of Parliament for the Dissolution of Priviledges; but

when the _Baths_ are useless, so are their Houses, and as empty as the

new Buildings by _St. Giles_ in the _Fields_; The _Baths_ I can

compare to nothing but the _Boylers_ in _Fleet Lane_ or _Old Bedlam_,

for they have a reaking steem all the Year. In a Word, 'tis a Valley

of Pleasure, yet a sink of Iniquity; Nor is there any Intrigues or

Debauch Acted in _London_, but is Mimick'd here.'

The Water was bottled and sold, and in order to guarantee its purity

an advertisement was issued in 1706: 'Notice is hereby given, that

George Allen is now chosen Pumper of the King's Bath Waters in Bath,

and that the true Waters are to be had of none but him who seals all

Bottles and Vessels with a Seal, whereon is the City Arms, viz a

Borough Wall and Sword, and round it these Words, The King's Bath

Water, George Allen, Pumper.' It was supplied in London fresh three

times a week, as we find by another advertisement of 1709.

Tunbridge ranked next to Bath as a fashionable resort, and it is thus

described in a contemporary play ('Tunbridge Walks,' ed. 1703).

_Loveworth._ But _Tunbridge_ I suppose is the Seat of Pleasure;

Prithee, what Company does the Place afford?

_Reynard._ Like most publick Assemblies, a Medley of all Sorts,

Fops, majestick and diminutive, from the long Flaxen Wig with a

splendid Equipage, to the Merchants' Spruce Prentice, that's

always mighty neat about the Legs; Squires come to Court some

fine Town Lady, and Town Sparks to pick up a Russet Gown; for the

Women here are Wild Country Ladies, with ruddy Cheeks like a

_Sevil_ Orange, that gape, stare, scamper, and are brought hither

to be Disciplined; Fat City Ladies with tawdry Atlasses, in

Defiance of the Act of Parliament; and slender Court Ladies with

_French_ Scarffs, _French_ Aprons, _French_ Night Cloaths and

_French_ Complexions.

_Loveworth._ But what are the Chief Diversions here?

_Reynard._ Each to his own Inclinations--Beaus Raffle and

Dance--Citts play at Nine Pins, Bowls, and Backgammon--Rakes,

scoure the Walks, Bully the Shop keepers, and beat the

Fidlers--Men of Wit rally over Claret, and Fools get to the

_Royal Oak_ Lottery, where you may lose Fifty Guineas in a

Moment, have a Crown returned to you for Coach Hire, a Glass of

Wine, and a hearty wellcome. In short, 'tis a Place wholly

dedicated to Freedom, no Distinction, either of Quality or

Estate, but ev'ry Man that appears well Converses with the Best.

People, however went to Tunbridge to _drink_ the waters, not to

_bathe_ in them. So was it with Epsom Wells, which was decidedly lower

in tone. From its easy access to London, it was crowded with

citizens--and some very questionable characters. If Bath allowed some

licence to its frequenters, Epsom gave more. 'But if you were not so

monstrous lewd, the freedom of _Epsom_ allows almost nothing to be

scandalous.'[548]

[Footnote 548: _Epsom Wells_, Shadwell.]

The Epsom season began on Easter Monday, and one advertisement will

sufficiently indicate its character. 1707. 'The New Wells at Epsom,

with variety of Raffling Shops, will be open'd on Easter Monday next.

There are Shops now to be Let, at the said Wells for a Bookseller,

Pictures, Haberdasher of Hats, Shoemaker, Fishmonger, and Butcher;

with conveniences for several other Trades. ☞ It's design'd

that a very good Consort of Musick shall attend and play there Morning

and Evening during the Season; and nothing will be demanded for the

Waters drunk there.' Pinkethman would take his performing dogs down

there, and Mr. Clinch, with the wonderful voice, would spend the

season there. Morris-dancing and other sports were got up, and at last

they had races, which have since evolved that national saturnalia the

Derby.

They had not yet analysed these purgative waters, and consequently

'Epsom salts' were unknown, so that people, did they wish for them,

must either go to Epsom, or buy the water in London, where almost all

the other 'Spaw' waters could be procured. It is astonishing how they

could drink the quantity they are recorded to have done--_i.e._ if

those accounts are trustworthy. Brown, in one of his 'Letters from the

Dead to the Living,' talks of a lady 'that has drank two Quarts of

_Epsom_ Waters for her Mornings draught'; and Shadwell, in 'Epsom

Wells,' says:--

_Brisket._ I vow it is a pleasurable Morning: the Waters taste so

finely after being fudled last Night. Neighbour _Fribbler_,

here's a Pint to you.

_Fribbler._ I'll pledge you, Mrs. _Brisket_; I have drunk eight

already.

_Mrs. Brisket._ How do the Waters agree with your Ladyship?

_Mrs. Woodly._ Oh, Soveraignly: how many Cups have you arrived

to?

_Mrs. Brisket._ Truly Six, and they pass so kindly.

There was, and even yet is, a mildly chalybeate spring at Hampstead,

which made that beautiful northern suburb very fashionable. The well

has been lately altered, and the old Assembly Rooms, which had lasted

from Anne's time, were pulled down in the early part of 1882. Old

gardens have been grubbed up, and fine new villas set a-top of them.

It is only a question of time as to when the trees in Well Walk will

die and be no more, and but a few houses will remain to attest the

glory of Hampstead in Queen Anne's time, when the Kit Cats made it

their summer meeting-place. Like all places of amusement then, the

spirit of gambling had invaded it, and either Swift or Steele notices

that: 'By letters from Hampstead which give me an account, there is a

late institution there under the name of a RAFFLING SHOP; which is, it

seems, secretly supported by a person who is a deep practitioner in

the law, and out of tenderness of conscience, has, under the name of

his maid Sisly, set up this easier way of conveyancing and alienating

estates from one family to another.'[549] Concerts of music were

frequent here in the season, as they were also at Richmond Wells,

which opened in the middle of May.

[Footnote 549: _The Tatler_, No. 59.]

The medicinal powers of divers springs near London had been known for

generations, and we find them duly advertised and puffed--Acton

Waters, Dullidge and Northall Waters, Lambeth Wells, Sadler's New

Tunbridge Wells near Islington, 'at the _Musick House_ by the _New

River_.' The London Spaw, 'at the sign of the Fountain in the parish

of St. James's Clarken Well; in the way going up to Islington' ('the

Poor may have it Gratis'); whilst in 1702 we find an advertisement:

'This is to give notice, That at the King's Arms Inn in Haughton

Street in Clare Market, over against New Inn back Gate, is lately

discovered a Spring of Purging Water, known by the name of Holy-well,

or the London Water, exceeding for their Cathartic Excellency, all

other Purging Waters; working in small quantities without neglect of

Business. This Water has been tried and approved of by some of the

best Physicians. To be had at the Pump, at the place aforesaid at

2_d._ the Quart, and to those that buy it to Retail it, at the Usual

Rates.'

One of those in the country was Buxton, of which we get the following

notice in 1705: 'Whereas the Bath House at Buxton, in Derbyshire, so

famous in the North for divers Cures, hath of late Years been

mismanaged, by disobliging Persons of Quality and others usually

resorting to the said Bath; this is therefore to give Notice to all

Persons of Quality and Gentry of Both Sexes, That Care has now been

taken, by his Grace the Duke of Devonshire, to remedy the like

Treatment, for the future, by sending down from London a fitting and

obliging Person sufficiently qualified: So that now all Persons

resorting to the said Bath will meet with Civil Usage, and have the

best of every thing for Man and Beast at reasonable rates.' Then there

were springs at Scarborough, Bury, Astrop, Croft, Holt, and Blurton

Spaw Water, which was belauded by Floyer. Of course these are not a

tithe of those which were locally famous, but were not pushed into

public notoriety.

Foreign mineral waters were in use, but evidently only for medicinal

purposes. 'Purging Spaw Waters newly brought over from Germany, to be

sold at the Two Golden Images in King Street, near St. James's.' And

they were sold at prices varying from 12_s._ per doz. or 1_s._ per

flask, to 15_s._ per doz.

Not only were the hot springs of Bath frequented for the purposes of

bathing, but the Turkish bath was peculiarly an institution of this

reign, and the 'Hummums' or 'Bagnios' were well frequented, until the

latter got an evil reputation, and the name of Bagnio came to be

regarded as synonymous with a disorderly house. Some of the medical

men of the time took up the subject of bathing with relation to

health, and, as is generally the case, took opposite views; some

advocating cold bathing, like Sir John Floyer and Dr. Ed. Baynard in

'ΨΥΧΡΟΛΟΨΣΙΑ: or, the HISTORY of COLD BATHING, Both

Ancient and Modern,' 1706, or Dr. Browne, who wrote in 1707 'An

Account of the Wonderful CURES perform'd by the COLD BATHS. With

advice to the Water Drinkers at _Tunbridge_, _Hampstead_, _Astrope_,

_Nasborough_, and all the other _Chalibeate Spaws_'; whilst others

took up the cause of hot bathing, and decried the use of cold water,

even in immersion in Baptism, like Guidot, who in 1705 published 'An

_Apology_ for the _Bath_,' having previously printed a Latin tract,

'_De Thermis Britannicis_.'

Ward describes a visit to the Hummums in Covent Garden with a friend,

who suggested to him[550] 'if you will be your Club towards Eight

Shillings, we'll go in and Sweat, and you shall feel the effects of

this Notable Invention.' Let him tell his experiences in his own

words. 'We now began to unstrip, and put ourselves in a Condition of

enduring an Hour's Baking, and when we had reduc'd our selves into the

Original state of Mankind, having nothing before us to cover our

Nakedness, but a Clout no bigger than a Fig leaf, our Guide led us to

the end of our Journey, the next Apartment, which I am sure, was as

hot as a Pastry Cooks Oven to Bake a White Pot; that I began

immediately to melt, like a Piece of Butter in a Basting Ladle, and

was afraid I should have run all to Oyl by the time I had been in six

Minutes; The bottom of the Room was Pav'd with Freestone; to defend

our feet from the excessive heat of which, we had got on a pair of

new-fashioned _Brogues_, with Wooden Soles after the _French_ Mode,

Cut out of an Inch Deal Board; or else like the Fellow in the _Fair_,

we might as well have walk'd cross a hot Iron Bar, as ventur'd here to

have Trod bare Foot. As soon as the Fire had tapt us all over, and we

began to run like a Conduit Pipe, at every Pore, our Rubber arms his

Right Hand with a Gauntlet of coarse hair Camlet, and began to curry

us with as much Labour, as a _Yorkshire Groom_ does his Master's best

Stone Horse; till he made our Skins as Smooth as a Fair Ladies Cheeks,

just wash'd with _Lemon Posset_, and greas'd over with _Pomatum_. At

last I grew so very faint with the expence of much Spirits, that I

begg'd as hard for a Mouthful of fresh Air, as _Dives_ did for a drop

of Water; which our attendance let in at a Sash-Window, no broader

than a _Deptford_ Cheese Cake; but, however, it let in a Comfortable

Breeze that was very Reviving: when I had foul'd many _Callico_

Napkins, our Rubber draws a _Cistern_ full of Hot Water, that we might

go in, and Boil out those gross Humours that could not be Emitted by

Perspiration. Thus, almost Bak'd to a _Crust_, we went into the hot

Bath to moisten our Clay, where we lay Soddening our selves like

_Deer's_ Humbles design'd for Minc'd Pies, till we were almost

Parboiled ... then after he had wiped me o'er with a dry Clout,

telling us we had Sweat enough, he reliev'd us out of Purgatory, and

carried us into our Dressing Room; which gave us such Refreshment,

after we had been stewing in our own Gravy, that we thought ourselves

as happy as a Couple of _English_ Travellers, Transported in an

Instant, by a Miracle from the _Torrid Zone_ into their own Country.

Our expense of Spirits had weakened Nature and made us drowsie; where

having the Conveniency of a Bed, we lay down and were rubb'd like a

couple of Race Horses after a Course.'

[Footnote 550: _The London Spy._]

An advertisement of these baths tells us fully of the extent of the

accommodation they afforded. 'At the Hummum's in Covent Garden are the

best accommodation for Persons of Quality to Sweat or Bath every day

in the week, the Conveniences of all kinds far exceeding all other

Bagnios or Sweating Houses both for Rich and Poor. Persons of good

Reputation may be accommodated with handsom Lodgings to lye all Night.

There is also a Man and Woman who Cups after the Newest and easiest

method. In the Garden of the same House is also a large Cold Bath of

Spring Water, which, for its Coldness and Delicacy, deserves an equal

Reputation with any in use.'

There were also 'John Evans's Hummums in Brownlow Street near Drury

Lane,' 'John Pindar's (the German Sweating House) in Westmoreland

Court, in Bartholomew Close, near Aldersgate Street,' and 'The Queen's

Bagnio in Long Acre,' kept by Henry Ayme, chirurgeon; where not only

could you have a bath for 5_s._, or two or more 4_s._ each, but there

was 'a lesser _Bagnio_, of a lower Rate, for the Diseased and Meaner

Sort.' 'There is no Entertainment for Women after _Twelve_ of the

Clock at Night, but all Gentlemen that desire Beds, may have them for

_Two Shillings_ per Night, for one single Person, but if two lie

together _Three Shillings_ both; which Rooms and Beds are fit for the

Entertainment of Persons of the highest Quality, and Gentlemen.'

Then there was the Royal Bagnio in Newgate Street, at the corner of

what now is Bath (formerly Bagnio) Street. There was also Pierault's

Bagnio, which was in St. James's Street, and was established about

1699. 'The charge of going in is 5_s._--if lie all Night 10_s._ each.

Here also is a _Cold Bath_, for which they take 2_s._ 6_d._ each

Person.'

The disciples of cold bathing might be suited at 'A Convenient large

Cold Bath, that is Erected upon an Excellent Cold Spring, adjoyning to

the Bowling Green in _Queen Street_ in the _Park, Southwark_ ...

Prices 1_s._ and 6_d._--The Chair 2_s._'; and at No. 3 Endell Street

was a bath which, tradition says, was used by Queen Anne. It was about

twelve or fourteen feet square, and was originally lined with old blue

and white Dutch tiles. I can find nothing confirming this tradition,

which may or may not have a foundation in fact.

CHAPTER XXXII.

RELIGIONS.

Inactivity of the Church -- Dulness of Sunday -- Contempt of the

clergy -- Low estimation of a chaplain -- Dress of the clergy --

Church furniture -- Traffic in benefices -- Forged orders -- Dr.

Sacheverell -- 'The modern champions' -- Queen Anne's Bounty --

Its history -- Fifty new churches -- Protestant tone of Church

feeling -- The effigies on Queen Elizabeth's birthday --

Oppression of Roman Catholics -- Religious sects -- Eminent

Nonconformists -- Daniel Burgess -- Dislike to Quakers --

Examples -- William Penn.

Religious life in Anne's time was not active--at least in the Church

of England. Even the dignitaries of the Church, with very few

exceptions, were men of no mark, nor were there any among the inferior

clergy who could be called to the higher estate, and so help to leaven

and wake up the Episcopate. For the Church was asleep, and with the

exception of the Sacheverell episode--when the name of the Church was

dragged in to serve party purposes--nothing was heard of it. There

were priests in the livings then as now, and they duly baptized,

married, preached to, and buried their flock; but there was little

vitality in their ministrations, little or no zeal or earnestness as

to the spiritual state of those committed to their charge, and very

little of practical teaching, in the way of setting before them a

higher social standard for them to imitate. The Church services had no

life in them; with the exception of the cathedrals the services were

_read_, and the soul-depressing parson and clerk duet had its usual

effect of deadening the religious sensibilities of the so-called

worshippers. Why! Addison seems to think that dear old Sir Roger was

acting in a most praiseworthy manner in dragooning all his tenants to

Church, otherwise he confesses they would not have come; but what

spiritual good this compulsory attendance did them he does not hint

at--probably never thought of: 'My Friend Sir Roger being a good

Churchman, has beautified the Inside of his Church with several texts

of his own chusing; he has likewise given a handsome Pulpit Cloth, and

railed in the Communion Table at his own expence. He has often told

me, that at his coming to his Estate he found (his Parishioners) very

irregular; and that in order to make them kneel and join in the

Responses he gave every one of them a Hassock and a Common Prayer

Book: and at the same time employed an itinerant Singing Master, who

goes about the Country for that Purpose, to instruct them rightly in

the Tunes of the Psalms; upon which they now very much value

themselves, and indeed out-do most of the Country Churches that I have

ever heard.

'As Sir Roger is Landlord to the whole Congregation, he keeps them in

very good Order, and will suffer no Body to sleep in it besides

himself; for if by chance he has been surprized into a short Nap at

Sermon, upon recovering out of it he stands up and looks about him,

and if he sees any Body else nodding, either wakes them himself, or

sends his Servant to them.... As soon as the Sermon is finished, no

Body presumes to stir till Sir Roger is gone out of the Church. The

Knight walks down from his Seat in the Chancel between a Double Row of

his Tenants, that stand bowing to him, on each Side; and every now and

then enquires how such an one's Wife, or Mother, or Son, or Father do,

whom he does not see at Church; which is understood as a secret

reprimand to the Person that is absent.'[551]

[Footnote 551: _Spectator_, 112.]

He then contrasts this parish with a neighbouring one where the squire

and parson are at variance--where all the tenants are _Atheists_ and

_Tithe Stealers_. Of course Addison's account is somewhat biassed by

his own proclivities; but we may take the tone of Church feeling

throughout the country to have been exemplified by the state of Sir

Roger's parish before the rather fussy, and certainly eccentric,

knight entered upon his high-handed course of compulsory attendance.

How Sunday was spent in London let Misson say: 'The _English_ of all

Sects, but particularly the Presbyterians, make profession of being

very strict Observers of the Sabbath Day.

'I believe their Doctrine upon this Head does not differ from ours,

but most assuredly our Scruples are much less great than theirs. This

appears upon a hundred Occasions; but I have observ'd it particularly

in the printed Confessions of Persons that are hang'd; Sabbath

breaking is the Crime the poor Wretches always begin with. If they

kill'd Father and Mother, they would not mention that Article, till

after having profess'd how often they had broke the Sabbath. One of

the good _English_ Customs on the Sabbath Day, is to feast as nobly as

possible, and especially not to forget the Pudding. It is a common

Practice, even among People of good Substance, to have a huge piece of

Roast Beef on _Sundays_, of which they stuff till they can swallow no

more, and eat the rest cold, without any other Victuals, the other Six

Days of the Week.'

Another quotation from Addison shows at all events his feeling as to

the state of the Church at that time: 'After some short Pause, the

old Knight turning about his Head twice or thrice, to take a Survey of

this great Metropolis, bid me observe how thick the City was set with

Churches, and that there was scarce a single Steeple on this side

_Temple Bar_. _A most Heathenish Sight!_ says Sir Roger: _There is no

Religion at this End of the Town. The Fifty new Churches will very

much mend the Prospect; but Church-work is slow--Church-work is

slow._'[552]

[Footnote 552: _Spectator_, 383.]

There is no doubt but that the Clergy as a body were but little

thought of. Of course there were good and pious men then as now, but

there is no disguising the fact that the majority showed an

indifference to the spiritual well-being of the people, which could

not fail to react upon themselves, and foster a feeling bordering upon

contempt. Although those were not the days of deep thought, or

scientific speculation, there was a great deal of freethought in

existence: and although Atheists were professed to be looked upon, as

they are now, as moral lepers, yet still there they were.

Perhaps one of the most curious symptoms of the times was the

exceeding popularity of Dr. John Eachard's satire, 'The Grounds and

Occasions of the Contempt of the Clergy and Religion enquired into,'

which, in 1705, had reached its _eleventh_ edition. But the butt of

all the satirists was the domestic chaplain. He was a member of the

household of every person of position, yet he had no social status.

Here is a contemporary account,[553] meant as a considerate warning to

a friend, putting before him a chaplain's social position:--

[Footnote 553: 'A SATYR Address'd to a _Friend_ that is

about to leave the University, and come abroad in the

World,' by Mr. John Oldham, ed. 1703.]

Some think themselves exalted to the Sky,

If they light in some Noble Family:

Diet, an Horse, and thirty pounds a year,

Besides th' advantage of his Lordship's ear,

The Credit of the business and the State,

Are things that in a Youngster's Sense sound great.

Little the unexperienc'd Wretch does know,

What slavery he oft must undergo:

Who, though in Silken Scarf and Cassock drest,

Wears but a gayer Livery at best.

When Dinner calls, the Implement must wait

With holy words to consecrate the Meat,

But hold it for a Favour seldom known,

If he be deigned the Honour to sit down.

Soon as the Tarts appear; Sir _Crape_, withdraw,

Those Dainties are not for a spiritual Maw.

Observe your distance; and be sure to stand

Hard by the Cistern with your Cap in hand:

There for diversion you may pick your Teeth,

Till the kind Voider comes for your Relief.

For meer Board-wages such their Freedom sell,

Slaves to an Hour, and Vassals to a Bell:

And if th' enjoyment of one day be stole,

They are but Pris'ners out upon Parole:

Always the marks of Slavery remain,

And they, tho loose, still drag about the Chain.

And where's the mighty prospect after all,

A Chaplainship serv'd up, and seven years Thrall?

The menial thing perhaps for a Reward,

Is to some slender Benefice preferr'd,

With this Proviso bound, that he must wed }

My Lady's antiquated Waiting Maid, }

In Dressing only skill'd, and Marmalade. }

Let others who such meannesses can brook,

Strike Countenance to every Great Man's Look:

Let those that have a mind, turn slaves to eat,

And live contented by another's Plate:

I rate my Freedom higher, nor will I

For Food, and Raiment truck my Liberty.

And Gay, too, in his _Trivia_ (book 2) says:--

Cheese, that the Table's closing Rites denies,

And bids me with th' unwilling Chaplain rise.

Addison, commenting on this custom, and the chaplain's status

generally, remarks,[554] 'In this case I know not which to censure,

the Patron or the Chaplain, the insolence of power or the abjectness

of dependence. For my own part, I have often blushed to see a

gentleman, whom I know to have much more wit and learning than myself,

and who was bred up with me at the University upon the same foot of a

Liberal Education, treated in such an ignominious manner, and sunk

beneath those of his own rank, by reason of that Character, which

ought to bring him honour.'

[Footnote 554: _Tatler_, 255.]

Again, in the _Guardian_ (No. 163) his position is described: 'I have,

with much ado, maintained my post hitherto at the dessert, and every

day eat tart in the face of my patron; but how long I shall be

invested with this privilege, I do not know. For the servants, who do

not see me supported as I was in my old lord's time, begin to brush

very familiarly by me, and thrust aside my chair when they set the

sweetmeats on the table.'

A curious confirmation of one of Oldham's statements is found in a

little brochure of the early part of Anne's reign,[555] 'I turn away

my Footman for aspiring to my Woman, her I marry to my Lord's high

Chaplain, and give her six Changes of my old cast off Cloaths for her

Dowry.'

[Footnote 555: _The English Lady's Catechism._]

Royalty, even, was not exempt from this failing of snubbing the

chaplains. Swift writes,[556] 'I never dined with the chaplains till

to day; but my friend Gastrel and the Dean of Rochester had often

invited me, and I happened to be disengaged; it is the worst provided

table at Court. We ate on pewter.'

[Footnote 556: _Journal to Stella_, Oct. 6, 1711.]

The clergy, when they appeared in public, wore always both cassock

and gown; with the wig, of course, which was sometimes carried to

excess, when it brought down the ridicule of the satirist, as in the

following[557] humble petition of _Elizabeth Slender_, Spinster,

Sheweth.

[Footnote 557: _Tatler_, 370.]

'That on the twentieth of this instant December, her friend, _Rebecca

Hive_, walking in the Strand, saw a gentleman before us in a gown,

whose periwig was so long, and so much powdered, that your petitioner

took notice of it, and said "she wondered that lawyer would so spoil a

new gown with powder." To which it was answered, "that he was no

lawyer, but a clergyman." Upon a wager of a pot of Coffee we over took

him, and your petitioner was soon convinced she had lost.

'Your petitioner, therefore, desires your worship to cite the

clergyman before you, and to settle and adjust the length of

_canonical Periwigs_, and the quantity of powder to be made use of in

them,' etc.

The vestments, when officiating, were simple, consisting of a cassock

and full surplice--the black gown being used for preaching.

The accompanying illustrations of a bishop and a prebendary are taken

from the prints of Queen Anne's coronation--the bishop wears chimere

and rochet, whilst the prebendary has his hood, and, as it was a

festival, he wears what seems to be meant for a cope.

[Illustration: A Clergyman's Walking Costume.]

The church furniture was not very extravagant, as is exemplified by

the following advertisement: 'Lost the 20th of August at Night, out of

St. Bennets Grace Church viz, a purple Velvet Cushion, with purple and

gold Tassels; The Covering of 2 Cushions very old of the same. The

Vallins for the Pulpit of purple Velvet with purple and gold Fringe; A

Cover for the Communion Table of purple Velvet very old. S.B.G. 1641

Embroider'd on it; A large Damask Table Cloath, and 2 Damask Napkins

mark'd S.B.G.L.E. 2 large pewter Plates, mark'd S.B.G. 2 Surplices, 1

old, the other New, mark'd S.B.G.L.E. A Clark's Gown of black

Callimanca with Loops, and faced with black Velvet.' The reward

offered for this lot was three guineas.

Benefices were then trafficked in. 'The next Advowson or Presentation

to a Church of about 200_l._ _per annum_, four score and ten Miles

from _London_, is to be dispos'd of, on very reasonable Terms, to any

Clergy man of a good Character for Learning and Morals. The present

Incumbent upwards of 60 Years of Age.' Simony was, however,

punishable, for we read in Luttrell, July 4, 1702, 'The late bishop of

St. Davids who some time since was deprived of that bishoprick on

account of Simony, being arrested for £1,000 costs of suit, is removed

from the bailiff's house to Newgate.'

There were a few black sheep among the clergy. The _London Gazette_

for Nov. 3/6, 1707, has an advertisement commencing, 'Where as one

William Sale was some Years since Convicted in the Ecclesiastical

Court at Canterbury, of having forged Holy Orders for himself, and for

his own Father,' etc., and it goes on to cite him to appear before the

Archbishop of Canterbury, or the Bishop of Rochester, and produce his

true orders, if he had any--or, if not, he would be prosecuted.

[Illustration: A Bishop.]

[Illustration: A Prebend.]

And in the _London Gazette_ for March 18/22, 1703, the clergy are

warned against one 'Abraham Gill, aged upwards of 30 years, middle

statur'd, some gray Hairs, wearing sometimes a light Wig, sometimes a

darker, sanguine Complexion, bold and Confident in Conversation,

strong Voice, a North Country Pronunciation, writing a Clerk like

Hand, as having been some time employ'd under an Attorney. Travelling

the Country with a Woman and 3 or 4 Children, sometime since forged

Letters of Orders, under the Hand and Episcopal Seal of the Lord

Bishop of Chester,' etc.

Swift, too, writes,[558] 'I walked here after nine, two miles, and I

found a parson drunk, fighting with a seaman, and Patrick and I were

so wise as to part them, but the seaman followed him to Chelsea,

cursing at him, and the parson slipped into a house, and I know no

more. It mortified me to see a man in my coat so overtaken.'

[Footnote 558: _Journal to Stella_, May 5, 1711.]

It would be impossible to write of the Church of England in Anne's

reign without mentioning Dr. Sacheverell, whose two famous sermons

brought about his impeachment and sentence of three years' suspension.

In them he condemned Dissenters and those Churchmen who sympathised

with them, lashing, with his oratory, the high ones of the land--and

Godolphin especially, as was believed, under the name of 'Volpone.'

Then rose the war-cry of 'High Church and Sacheverell!' which even the

Queen could not avoid: 'God bless the Queen. We hope your Majesty is

for High Church and Sacheverell;' and presumably she was, for the very

month his suspension expired she presented him with the valuable

living of St. Andrew's, Holborn. High Churchism then meant

intolerance, and Sacheverell was the puppet pulled by wires held by

others.

There is a curious contemporary skit which is worth reproducing, for

two reasons--first, as showing the style of literature then used in

party warfare; and second, because it gives an approximate

illustration of the Hockley-in-the-Hole combatants mounted on the

stage. In fact, the whole thing is a travesty on the bombastic

challenges of those doughty heroes.

'THE MODERN CHAMPIONS[559]

or

A Tryal of Skill to be Fought at her Majesty's Bear Garden, on Monday

next, between a Jeroboam Tory and a Jerusalem Whig, with their two

Seconds.

[Footnote 559: _Banks Coll._, Brit. Mus., 1890, _e._ The

Combatants are Bishop (then Dr.) Hoadly and Dr.

Sacheverell--the Seconds, Drs. Burgess and Harris.]

When Gospel Trumpeter surrounded

By long Ear'd Rout, to Battle Sounded

And Pulpit, Drum Ecclesiastick

Was beat with Fist instead of a Stick

Then did Sir Knight----

Prophetically sung by the learned Hudibras.

'I, JEHU HOTSPUR, known by the name of the High Church Champion,

Defender of the Cause, against all Schismatical and Rebellious Saints

whatever; Do Invite you Balthasar Turncoat, (of the Race of the

Seditious; Betrayers of their Country, and Rebels to their Lawful

Sovereign; Prolocutor and Contester for the Shameful and detested

Cause of Moderation; a Lukewarm Christian, and a False Brother of the

Ch----h; Dissenting from, and Prevaricating with, the Original

Ordinances thereof) to meet and Fight me at the seven several sorts of

weapons following, viz.:

Sword & Cloak }

Schism & Hypocrisy }

Tolleration }

Rebellion } JEHU HOTSPUR

Moderation }

Regicide and }

Anarchy }

So putting Trust in the Justice of my Quarrel, expect to find you

at the Time and Place appointed, as you will answer the Contrary at

your Peril.

[Illustration: 'The Modern Champions.]

'I, BALTHASAR TURNCOAT, Chief Orator and Champion for the upright and

blessed Principles of Moderation; a True Blue Church Man, and

Jerusalem Whig; Receiving open Defiance from the said Jehu Hotspur

avow'd Champion and Maintainer of the High Church Jacobite Cause

(Sprung from the Loins of Jeroboam the Son of Nebat, who caused Israel

to Sin; a Race so wickedly malicious that they would have us all cut

off, Root and Branch; unless we fall down and worship the Calves of

Dan and Bethel, whereby the Seed of Amalek may come to be restor'd)

Will not fail, God Willing, to meet the Bold and Daring Inviter at the

Time and Place appointed, and Oppose him at the several Weapons

following, viz.:

Sword & Warming pan}

Non Resistance }

Passive Obedience }

Superstition } BALTHASAR TURNCOAT

Jacobitism }

Tyranny and }

Persecution }

Desiring a Clear Stage, and from him no Favour.

'N.B. Whoever brings this Ticket, will be admitted on the Day of

Tryal.

'London. Printed in the Year 1710--price 1_d._'

Should anyone care to see to what depth the Church of England had

sunk, as far as care of the fabric of the churches went, let him read

'Miscellany Accounts of the Diocese of Carlisle, &c., 1703-4,' by Wm.

Nicholson, late Bishop of Carlisle: London, Geo. Bell & Sons, 1877.

The two most notable events in the reign, in connection with the

Church, were the foundation of Queen Anne's Bounty, and the building

of fifty new churches. In the times of the Crusades, a tax of

firstfruits and tenths had been imposed for the purpose of prosecuting

the Holy Wars, and it had never been taken off. Henry VIII., of

course, seized upon it as his own royal perquisite, and so it

continued. Charles II. found it handy to provide for his seraglio; and

probably, had it not been for the very strenuous exertions of Bishop

Burnet with both William and Mary, and afterwards with Anne, it might

never have reverted to the Church.

As it was, Queen Anne surrendered it in a most graceful manner, making

it her birthday present to the nation in 1704. Her birthday (Feb. 6)

fell that year on a Sunday, but she kept it on the Monday, and on that

day sent a message to her faithful Commons that it was her desire to

make a grant of her whole revenue derived from the firstfruits, and

tenths, for the benefit of the poorer clergy. The Commons lost no time

in passing a Bill in acquiescence with the royal wish, even broadening

its basis--enabling other persons to make grants for the same purpose.

This latter addition encountered some opposition in the Lords, but

eventually became law.

The clergy were naturally grateful, and on Feb. 15 the clergy of both

Provinces waited on her Majesty, with addresses of thanks for her

kindness; and the lower House of Convocation for the Province of

Canterbury returned their thanks to the Commons for their readiness in

complying with the Queen's desire. On April 3 of the same year the

Queen gave her royal assent to the Act. That it was needed is

evidenced by the fact that the Commissioners found there were 5,597

livings under 50_l._ per annum, which were capable of augmentation.

The increase of the income of the poorer clergy was its first

intention: now the scheme has widened, and grants towards building

parsonage-houses, etc., are made. Still, Queen Anne's name remains

attached to it in grateful remembrance.

It was estimated that it would bring in an income of 6,000_l._ per

annum. How the fund is now administered may be learned from the

following extract from the _Globe_ of Feb. 15, 1882. 'In Convocation

of York yesterday a Committee was appointed to report upon the

constitution and management of Queen Anne's Bounty. It was stated that

the income of the Bounty is 15,000_l._, and that the cost of

management is between 7,000_l._ and 8,000_l._'[560] Comment on this is

superfluous.

[Footnote 560: This statement was afterwards modified in the

_Globe_ of June 21, 1882. 'The Report of the auditor, Mr.

Charles Garlant, states that the cost of administration of

the bounty fund is approximately 17_s._ 6_d._ per cent. on

the receipts and payments generally, and £2 10_s._ per cent.

if items on capital account are altogether excluded.']

London was growing bigger, but with the extension of house-building

there was no commensurate increase of church accommodation; so the

Upper House of Convocation presented an address to the Queen upon the

subject, and the Lower House petitioned the House of Commons. The

outcome of this was, that the Queen sent a message to the latter,

calling their attention to the state of spiritual destitution, and

recommending them to further 'so good and pious a work.' The Commons

dutifully replied that, although they had an expensive war on hand,

and heavy burdens to bear besides, yet they would be happy to do their

part, and consequently the session of 1711 saw the royal assent given

to an act for building fifty new churches within the Bills of

Mortality, to meet the expense of which was assigned the duty on

coals, which had defrayed the expenses of building St. Paul's.

Convocation returned thanks, and the fifty churches were eventually

built.

The tone of the Church at that time was essentially Protestant. And no

wonder. William the Deliverer was warm in men's memory; and men,

fearing a repetition of Roman supremacy, as in the times of the second

James, unreasoningly went in the opposite direction, probably without

much absolutely religious feeling prompting them. More possibly it was

'The Church God Bless,

The Queen no less,

And all that do Profess

The same religion with Queen Bess.

But I'll warrant now, if we had a Bonfire in the Street, and such a

Whig as Tom Double shou'd pass by, he wou'd refuse this Health, and

then I shou'd break his Head.'[561]

[Footnote 561: _The Weekly Comedy_, Jan. 2, 1708.]

Queen Bess was the Madonna of the Protestants, and 'her glorious

Memory' was a watchword of the party. Nov. 17, the anniversary of her

accession to the throne, was celebrated in the same manner as Nov. 5

used to be, until police control interfered with it. One Nov. 17 in

Queen Anne's reign, that of 1711, was rendered historically famous by

the steps the Government took in the suppression of this carnival. A

contemporary account[562] is as follows: 'Nov. 20. Upon information,

that the Effigies of the _Devil_, the _Pope_ and his _Attendants_ were

to be carry'd in Procession, and, according to Custom, burnt on

_Saturday_ last, the 17th Inst. being the Anniversary of Queen

ELIZABETH'S Accession to the Crown, of ever Pious and most Glorious

Memory, the Government apprehending that the same might occasion

Tumults in this Populous City, thought fit to prevent it. Accordingly,

on _Friday_ last, about Twelve a Clock at Night, some of Her Majesty's

Messengers, sustain'd by a Detachment of Grenadiers of the Foot

Guards, with their Officer, were order'd to go to an Empty House in

_Angel Court, Drury Lane_, which being broke Open, they found in it

the Effigies of the _Devil_, that of the POPE on his Right hand, and

that of a Young _Gentleman_ in a Blue Cloth Coat, with Tinsel Lace,

and a Hat with a White Feather, made of Cut Paper, seated under a

large Canopy; as also the Figures of Four Cardinals, Four Jesuits, and

Four _Franciscan Fryars_, and a large Cross about Eighteen Foot High;

all which, being put on several Carts were, about Two a Clock in the

Morning, carry'd to the _Cock Pit_, and there lodg'd in a Room between

the Council Chamber, and the Right Honourable the Earl of

_Dartmouth's_ Secretary's Office. Moreover, on _Saturday_, _Sunday_,

and _Monday_ the Trained Bands of _London_ and _Westminster_ were

under Arms; so that there was no Pope _Burnt_, tho' we hear of one

that was _Drown'd_. It may, perhaps, appear strange that a Popular

Rejoycing so grateful to this PROTESTANT City, which was never

attempted to be quash'd but in _K. James_ the Second's Reign, should,

at this Juncture, be interrupted: But, to be sure, those who did it

had very good Reasons for their Management.'

[Footnote 562: _The Protestant Post Boy_, Nov 17/20, 1711.]

Swift, of course, gives Stella all the gossip about it, and says the

Whigs laid out about a thousand pounds upon the proposed show. 'They

did it by Contribution. Garth gave five guineas; Dr. Garth I mean, if

ever you heard of him.' Swift afterwards went to see the effigies, and

his report very much modifies his previous account: 'The fifteen

images that I saw were not worth forty pounds, so I stretched a little

when I said a thousand. The Devil is not like lord treasurer; they

were all your odd antick masks, bought in Common Shops.'

The last of them is told in a paragraph of the _Post Boy_, July 1/3,

1712: 'Yesterday, were disrobed at the Cockpit the Effigies of the

Devil, the Person who has pretended to disturb the Settlement of the

Protestant Succession of the House of Hanover, the Pope, Cardinals &c.

Our Enemies being now disarm'd, we will venture to say, that there

will soon be a General Cessation of Arms.'

Protestant throats yelled out--

O! Queen Bess, Queen Bess, Queen Bess,

Who sav'd us all from Popish Thrall?

O! Queen Bess, Queen Bess, Queen Bess--

and bigoted, and intolerant Protestant legislators did their little

utmost to oppress their Roman Catholic fellow-subjects, even in

Ireland: 'Her Majestie, in council, has approved of several Irish acts

sent over hither, which are to be return'd, to passe into laws; among

them is that for preventing the further growth of popery in that

Kingdom, by which all the estates of Roman catholicks there after

their death, shall be equally divided among all their children, unless

the eldest turns protestant within a year after the father's decease,

and if so, to enjoy the whole; likewise by this bill all the Romish

clergy, who are now tolerated there, are to be registered, and when

they die, to be succeeded by protestants.'[563]

[Footnote 563: _Luttrell_, Jan. 25, 1705.]

'Edinburgh, 14 Mar. 1704. Sir _James Stuart_, Her Majesty's Advocate,

having represented to the Council, that there were several Popish

Vestments, Trinkets, and others seized; And that they were given to

his Lordship, and in his Custody. The Lords of her Majesty's

Privy-Council do hereby appoint and ordain the Vestments, Crucifixes

and Trinkets, to be burnt at the Cross of _Edinburgh_ to-morrow, being

the 15th Instant, betwixt the hours of ten and twelve in the Fore

noon. And appoints and ordains the Magistrates of _Edinburgh_ to see

the same effectually done: And appoints and ordains the Chalice,

Patine, and such other of the said Trinkets, as are in Silver or Gold,

to be melted down and delivered to the present Kirk Treasurer of

_Edinburgh_, for the use of the poor thereof.'[564]

[Footnote 564: _Flying Post._, Feb. 17/20, 1705.]

This order was duly carried out; 'An Inventor whereof follows,

_Imprimis_ An Chalice and Patine for the Ilastic (?). _Item_ Four

Crucifixes. _Item_ Two Surplices. _Item_ Three Colliers. _Item_ Four

pairs of Beeds, or Chapelets, with some Relicks of Saints. _Item_,

Several Pictures, with Indulgencies and Pardons; and particularly one

with this Indulgence following: _viz._ the Archbishop of Mechline has

granted Indulgence of forty days to those who shall bow their Knee

before this image once a day, considering devoutly the infinite

Charity of Jesus Christ, who has suffered for us the Bitter Death of

the Cross: And if any will perform this Devotion oftner, he shall so

oft have new Indulgence for five days more extracted.'

'Information being given of several priests lurking about this Citty,

the messengers the close of last week seized near Red Lyon Square 3

of them, viz, Gifford, Martin, and Matthews, the last is committed to

Newgate, but the others were admitted to bail, each in £1000, and 2

sureties in £500 apiece.'[565]

[Footnote 565: _Luttrell_, Sept. 26, 1704.]

On April 4, 1706, the Privy Council sent a circular to the Archbishop

of Canterbury, which he in his turn sent round to the bishops, and

they to their clergy, stating that her Majesty being acquainted 'with

several Instances of the very great Boldness and Presumption of the

Romish Priests and Papists in this Kingdom,' directed them 'to Require

the Clergy in their several Dioceses to take an Exact and Particular

Account of the Number of the Papists and Reputed Papists in every

Parish with their Qualities, Estates and Places of Abode, and to

return the same to their respective Diocesans, who are to return the

same to your Grace, in Order to be laid before Her Majesty.'

This inquisitorial circular was followed on April 11, 1706, by 'A

PROCLAMATION For the Putting in Execution the Laws in Force against

such Persons as have or shall Endeavour to Pervert her Majesties

Subjects to the Popish Religion,' and it recites that the Acts to be

put in force were one of the 23 Eliz., 'An Act to Retain the Queen's

Majesties Subjects in their due Obedience,' and one of the 3 Jas. I.

'An Act for the Discovering and Repressing of Popish Recusants.'

This seems to have been ineffectual, or the nation must have had

another attack of Protestant fever, for on March 2, 1710, in a

proclamation offering 100_l._ for the apprehension of some Sacheverell

rioters, there are clauses, 'And we do strictly charge and command all

Papists, who shall be above the Age of Sixteen Years, that they do,

according to the Statutes in that behalf made, repair to their

respective Places of Abode, and do not thence remove or pass above the

Distance of five Miles--And that all such Papists and Persons reputed

so to be (except Merchants, Traders, settled House holders, and other

Persons excepted in the Statutes made in this behalf) do, on or before

the eighth day of this Instant _March_, depart out of our said Cities

and Suburbs of London and Westminster, and from all Places distant ten

Miles from the Same.'

On March 15, 1711, another proclamation was issued for all Papists to

remove from the cities of London and Westminster, and, even at the

very close of Anne's reign, we read;[566] 'At the Assizes held at

Chelmsford in the County of Essex, a bill of Indictment was found

against Hanmer, formerly mention'd in this Paper, for that he, being a

Popish Priest, did say Mass according to the Custom of the Romish

Church in that Country; to which Indictment he pleaded not Guilty, and

gave Suretys to try the same at the next Assizes.'

[Footnote 566: _The Flying Post_, July 17/20, 1714.]

Misson gives a formidable list of religious sects then in existence,

to which, of course, owing to the vastly superior wisdom and

knowledge of this nineteenth century, we have enormously added and

improved upon. He says that there were, in his time, in England,

'Antinomians, Hederingtonians, Theaurian Joanites, Seekers, Waiters,

Brownists, Reevists, Baronists, Wilkinsonians, Familists, Ranters,

Muggletonians, &c., &c. All these, and nothing at all, are just one

and the same thing: Christianity is overwhelm'd with Sects enough

already, without our studying to multiply them chimerically....

Besides the Religion which serves God in the Church of _England_, and

which is the reigning Religion in _England_, there are several Sorts

of Sectaries; the Presbyterians are the Chief and most numerous....

The Independents were a Branch of Presbytery, but they are now united

again. Arminianism (if the Propositions of _Arminius_ ought to give

the odious name of a Sect) is spread every where. Here and there also

you meet with a Millennarian; but I know there is a particular

Society, tho' it makes but little Noise, of People, who, tho' they go

by the Name of Sabbatharians,[567] make Profession of expecting the

Reign of a Thousand Years without participating in the other Opinions,

which are ascrib'd to the ancient Millenarians. These Sabbatharians

are so call'd, because they will not remove the Day of Rest from

_Saturday_ to _Sunday_. They leave off Work betimes on _Friday_

Evening, and are very rigid Observers of their Sabbath.... England

hath also Anabaptists of Several sorts.... Within these few Weeks

there is sprung up a new Sect of People, that say they are Mystical

Theologists, and that take the name of _Philadelphians_,' etc.

[Footnote 567: The Common people call them Seventh Day Men.]

This is very far from being an exhaustive list of the sects then in

existence, and it is not worth while wasting time in hunting up the

names and history of any more.

[Illustration: A Nonconformist Minister.]

John Wesley was born in Anne's reign, and Matthew Henry died in it,

whilst Calamy lived during the whole of it; but the most prominent

nonconformist in London was Daniel Burgess, whose Theatre, or

meeting-house, in Carey Street was gutted by the Sacheverell mob, and

had to be repaired at the expense of Government. Of this meeting-house

Brown says: 'For as it is not properly call'd the House of God, but

Mr. _Burgess's_, so Mr. _Burgess_, not God, is there worshipped.

Prayer and Praise is the proper Worship of God, but here they meet to

hear _Daniel_ lay about him, with his merry Stories and Theatrical

Actions, which is at least an _Amusement_ they think worth their

while.'

And this is one of Daniel's 'merry Stories.' Preaching one day on 'the

Robe of Righteousness,' he said: 'If any of you would have a good and

cheap suit, you will go to Monmouth Street; if you want a _suit_ for

life, you will go to the Court of Chancery; but, if you wish for a

suit that will last to eternity, you must go to the Lord Jesus Christ,

and put on his Robe of Righteousness.'

Swift speaks of him in _Tatler_ 66. 'There is my friend and merry

Companion _Daniel_. He knows a great deal better than he speaks, and

can form a proper discourse as well as any orthodox neighbour.' And

this, probably, is a true estimate of his character. Anyhow, he

_drew_, and his meeting-house was the most popular in London.

[Illustration: A Quaker's Meeting.]

There was an insane dislike to Quakers in Queen Anne's reign, and I

have not met with one kindly or sympathetic remark about them in all

my varied reading of these times. On the contrary, they were

represented as thoroughpaced hypocrites, cheats, liars, immoral

livers. The generic term applied to a Quaker was Aminadab (why?), and

Aminadab was everything that was sly and repulsive. We, who know the

quiet, simple folk, whose sect is fast dying out, because they have

obtained all the points they strove for, can never for an instant

imagine that their forefathers were the sly hypocrites they were

painted. Nor were they only lampooned verbally--a Quaker could not be

drawn without being caricatured into an unctuous rogue; their very

plainness of apparel, the men's plain hats and absence of wigs, and

the women wearing the old country steeple-crowned hat and simply made

gowns, were made the vehicles of sarcasm; the poverty of their

meeting-houses was typified by their preaching and sitting on tubs.

[Illustration: A Quakers' Meeting.]

Still, all writers have their dab of dirt to throw at them, and to

show how universal it was, a few examples may be given. _Swift_:[568]

'My friend Penn came there, Will Penn the Quaker, at the head of his

brethren, to thank the Duke for his kindness to their people in

Ireland. To see a dozen scoundrels with their hats on, and the Duke

complimenting with his off, was a good sight enough.' _Misson_: 'The

Quakers are great Fanaticks; there seems to be something laudable in

them; to outward Appearance they are mild, simple in all respects,

sober, modest, peaceable, nay, and they have the Reputation of being

honest; and they often are so. But you must have a Care of being Bit

by this Appearance, which very often is only outward;' and afterwards,

talking of females preaching, 'the Moment Mrs. Doctor spies a Ribbon,

the Spirit moves her, and she falls into one of her Fits; up she gets

on the Bottom of some Tub; with her pinch'd up Cap, and her screw'd up

Countenance; she Sighs, she Groans, she Snorts through the Nose, and

then out she bursts into such a Jargon as no mortal Man can make Head

or Tale of.' Mrs. _Centlivre_, in the 'Beau's Duel': 'I carried her to

wait on a Relation of ours that has a Parrot, and whilst I was

discoursing about some private Business, she converted the Bird, and

now it talks of nothing but the Light of the Spirit, and the Inward

Man.' _Brown_: 'They would be thought the _only People of God_; tho'

their Chief Motive to that impudent Ambition, is, that they may claim

the Right of _Pillaging_ and _Cheating_ all the World besides, as

_Ægyptians_. They won't swear, because they may chance to pay for

that; but they will lie Confoundedly, because they may chance to get

by that.' _Ward_ gives an account of a visit to a Quaker's tavern,

which was 'intended chiefly for Watering the Lambs of Grace, and not

to succour the Evil offspring of a Reprobate Generation;' and he says

that 'when they were desirous to Elevate their Lethargick Spirits with

the circulation of a Bumper, one fills it, and offers the prevailing

Temptation to his left Hand Companion, in these Words, saying, Friend,

does the Spirit move thee to receive the good Creature thus

plentifully? The other replies, Yea, Do thou take and enjoy the Fruits

of thy own Labour, and by the help of Grace I will drink another as

full. Thus did the liquorish Saints quaff it about merrily, after

their precise Canting manner.' Even the _Tatler_ (262) has an

advertisement, 'Drop'd on Sunday last, a small Roll of Paper, in which

was inclos'd the Draught of a _Quaker_ holding forth in a Tub, &c.'

These examples are quite sufficient to show the universal dislike of

this harmless sect, which could only have been induced by the thorough

contrast of their homely attire, and plain speech, with the ornate

dress and exaggerated verbiage then in vogue.

[Footnote 568: _Journal to Stella_, Jan. 15, 1712.]

Penn, indeed, was welcome at Court, and lived at Kensington, and

afterwards at Knightsbridge, till 1706. He lived all through Anne's

reign, not dying till 1716.

CHAPTER XXXIII.

LEGAL.

The different branches of the law -- Briefless Barristers --

Green bags -- Forensic wigs -- Attorneys -- Knights of the Post

-- Lord Somers -- Lord Cowper: his abolition of New Year's gifts.

Speaking of lawyers, Addison says:[569] 'The Body of the Law is no

less encumbered with superfluous Members, that are like _Virgil's_

Army which he tells us was so crouded, many of them had not Room to

use their Weapons. This prodigious Society of Men may be divided into

the Litigious and Peaceable. Under the first are comprehended all

those who are carried down in Coach fulls to _Westminster Hall_ every

morning in Term time. _Martial's_ description of this Species of

Lawyers is full of Humour:

_Iras et verba locant_.

[Footnote 569: _Spectator_, 21.]

Men that hire out their Words and Anger; that are more or less

passionate according as they are paid for it, and allow their Client a

quantity of wrath proportionable to the Fee which they receive from

him. I must, however, observe to the Reader, that above three Parts of

those whom I reckon among the Litigious, are such as are only

quarrelsome in their Hearts, and have no Opportunity of showing their

Passion at the Bar. Nevertheless, as they do not know what Strifes may

arise, they appear at the Hall every Day, that they may show

themselves in Readiness to enter the Lists, whenever there shall be

occasion for them.