He was excessively moved at taking leave of her; being afraid, as he said
to me, (though he would not tell her so,) that he should never see her
again. She charged him to represent every thing to Miss Howe in the most
favourable light that the truth would bear.
He told me of a tender passage at parting; which was, that having saluted
her at her closet-door, he could not help once more taking the same
liberty, in a more fervent manner, at the stairs-head, whither she
accompanied him; and this in the thought, that it was the last time he
should ever have that honour; and offering to apologize for his freedom
(for he had pressed her to his heart with a vehemence, that he could
neither account for or resist)--'Excuse you, Mr. Hickman! that I will:
you are my brother and my friend: and to show you that the good man, who
is to be happy with my beloved Miss Howe, is very dear to me, you shall
carry to her this token of my love,' [offering her sweet face to his
salute, and pressing his hand between her's:] 'and perhaps her love of me
will make it more agreeable to her, than her punctilio would otherwise
allow it to be: and tell her, said she, dropping on one knee, with
clasped hands, and uplifted eyes, that in this posture you see me, in the
last moment of our parting, begging a blessing upon you both, and that
you may be the delight and comfort of each other, for many, very many
happy years!'
Tears, said he, fell from my eyes: I even sobbed with mingled joy and
sorrow; and she retreating as soon as I raised her, I went down stairs
highly dissatisfied with myself for going; yet unable to stay; my eyes
fixed the contrary way to my feet, as long as I could behold the skirts
of her raiment.
I went to the back-shop, continued the worthy man, and recommended the
angelic lady to the best care of Mrs. Smith; and, when I was in the
street, cast my eye up at her window: there, for the last time, I doubt,
said he, that I shall ever behold her, I saw her; and she waved her
charming hand to me, and with such a look of smiling goodness, and
mingled concern, as I cannot describe.
Pr'ythee tell me, thou vile Lovelace, if thou hast not a notion, even
from these jejune descriptions of mine, that there must be a more exalted
pleasure in intellectual friendship, than ever thou couldst taste in the
gross fumes of sensuality? And whether it may not be possible for thee,
in time, to give that preference to the infinitely preferable, which I
hope, now, that I shall always give?