THE fact that the Bishop-Elect of PRETORIA, the Rev. NEVILLE TALBOT, is
no less than six feet six inches high, surpassing his predecessor by two
inches, has been freely commented on in the Press. Anxious to ascertain
from leaders of public opinion the true significance of the appointment,
Mr. Punch has been at pains to collect their views. How divergent and
even contradictory they are may be gathered from the following
selection:--
Sir MARTIN CONWAY, the Apostle of Altitude, as he has been recently
denominated, welcomed the appointment of Bishop TALBOT as a good omen
for the campaign which he is so ably conducting. "Nothing," he remarks,
"has impressed me so much in the works of TENNYSON as the line, 'We
needs must love the highest when we see it.' Mountain or building or
man, it is all the same. I never felt so happy in all my travels in
South America as when I was in Patagonia, the home of tall men and the
giant sloth. At all costs we should recognise and cultivate the human
skyscraper."
The Bishop of HEREFORD (Dr. HENSLEY HENSON) expressed the hope that the
appointment of bishops would not be governed solely by an anthropometric
standard. It would be a misfortune if the impression were created that
preferment to the episcopal bench was confined to High Churchmen.
The Editor of _The Times_ declined to dogmatize on the subject. He
pointed out however that the average height of the Yugo-Slavs exceeded
that of the Welsh. The claims of small nations could not, of course, be
overlooked, but he considered it as little short of a calamity when a
Great Power had an undersized Prime Minister. Short men liked short
cuts, but, as BACON said, the shortest way is commonly the foulest.
Dr. ROBERT BRIDGES (the Poet-Laureate) writes to say that, having given
special study to the hexameter, he was much interested to find that the
measure now in vogue amongst bishops was that of six feet and over. He
hoped to treat the subject exhaustively in his forthcoming treatise on
Ecclesiastical Prosody.
Colonel L. C. AMERY, M.P., strongly deprecated the attempt to identify
excessive height with extreme efficiency. In the election to Fellowships
at All Souls no height limit was imposed. NAPOLEON and the late Lord
ROBERTS were both small men, and he believed that the remarkable
elusiveness displayed by Colonel LAWRENCE in the War was greatly
facilitated by his diminutive stature. The testimony of literature
throughout the ages was almost unanimous in its condemnation of giants.
He had never heard of a small ogre. On the subject of SHAKESPEARE'S
height he could not speak with assurance, but KEATS was only just over
five feet. Jumbomania, or the worship of mammoth dimensions, was a
modern disease. Far better was the philosophy crystallised in such
immortal sayings as "Love me little, love me long," and "Infinite riches
in a little room."
Mr. MALLABY-DEELEY, M.P., observed that, man being an imitative animal
and bishops being regarded by many as good examples, there seemed to him
a serious danger of an epidemic of what he might call Brobdingnagitis.
Fortunately the results would not be immediately apparent, otherwise he
would be compelled to raise his tariff for cheap suits. A rise of six
inches in the average height of his customers would throw out all his
calculations and eat up the modest margin of profit which he now allowed
himself.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A DISTURBER OF THE PEACE.
ENTENTE POLICEMAN (_to Germany Militant_). "ARE YOU
GOING TO TAKE THAT STUFF OFF OR MUST I DO IT FOR YOU?"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Cafe Genius._ "THE FACT IS WE MAKE
OURSELVES TOO CHEAP. OF COURSE THE PUBLIC PAYS TO SEE
OUR PICTURES, BUT THE BLIGHTERS CAN COME AND SEE US FOR
NOTHING."]
* * * * *
"The weather of the week has been characteristic of the
month. A dawn breaks with a fair sunset."--_Scotch
Paper._
Of course this happens only very far North.
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