_Mother:_ "Hush! You two children are always quarrelling. Why can't you
agree once in a while?"
_Georgia:_ "We do agree, mamma. Edith wants the largest apple and so do
I."
* * *
_She:_ Jack is in love with you.
_Her:_ Nonsense!
_She:_ That's what I said when I heard it.
_Her:_ How dared you!
* * *
_Professor_ (_endeavoring to impress on class the definition of cynic_):
Young man, what would you call a man who pretends to know everything?
_Senior:_ A professor!
* * *
A young lady who was inspecting bicycles, said to the clerk:
"What's the name of this wheel?"
"That is the Belvedere," answered the salesman.
He was rewarded by a stony glance and the icy question:
"Can you recommend the Belva?"
* * *
"What this country needs is more production."
"What this country needs," replied Farmer Corntassel, with a slight
trace of irritation, "is less talk about what it needs and more
enthusiasm about deliverin' the goods."
* * *