frequently strong and affecting: particularly those on death, or
the shortness of life, especially from the mouth of a child. And
the language wherein they are expressed, altho’ plain and altogether
unstudied, is yet pure and terse in the highest degree, yea frequently
elegant: such as the most polite either of our lawyers or divines would
not easily alter for the better. Such language I hardly know where to
find, unless in the almost inimitable letters of _Jane Cooper_: between
whom and _Miss Gilbert_ there was a remarkable resemblance, both in
sentiment and expression. And had it pleased the all-wise Disposer of
all things, to give her a few more years on earth, and an increase of
grace in proportion to her years, she would have been another _Jane
Cooper_.
JOHN WESLEY.
_Liverpool_,
April 7th, 1768.
* * * * *
A short ACCOUNT of
Miss MARY GILBERT.
THE ensuing account it is hoped may animate those who are in the
morning of life, to a due improvement of their time, in _remembering
their_ CREATOR _in the days of their youth_; so that they may offer
him the first fruits of those precious moments, in which they are
probationers for an awful eternity: and which when past, whether they
have been employed in the important ♦task or not, are irrecoverably
gone.
♦ “talk” replaced with “task” per Errata
If it has this happy effect, the desired end will be fully answered,
which is, that God’s grace and saving power may be manifested, in
additional instances, both of living and dying witnesses.
Miss Mary Gilbert, was the eldest daughter of _Nathaniel Gilbert_, of
the island of _Antigua_, Esq; by his wife _Elizabeth_, both persons of
good families and eminent piety, whose chief study it was to train up
their children in the knowledge of God and his ways, according to the
established religion of the _church_ of _England_.
She was born in the same island on the 28th of _February, 1751_, under
the happy circumstance of having parents, who as they were wanting
in no act of care and tenderness to their offspring, so took care in
particular to make them like young _Timothy_, acquainted from their
infancy with the _holy scriptures_. In the earliest dawn of reason
she discovered an extraordinary capacity and uncommon understanding;
a great willingness to learn; and a desire of being instructed, which
often occasioned her to ask the most pertinent questions. Such a
genius was observed by her parents with much gratitude, to him who is
the author and dispenser of every good and perfect gift. Her natural
disposition was a mixture of good and evil. She was a strict observer
of truth, which appeared to arise from a nobleness of mind, which made
her incapable of those meannesses from whence the vice of falshood
springs. But as every flower in nature’s garden, however blooming
needs improving, so did this principle in her; for as it was productive
of some virtues, so it no less occasioned the greatest blemishes in
her temper; such as high-spiritedness, pride and self-will; which
notwithstanding the shining example of her parents, and their care to
restrain, would, while she was very young often gain an ascendency.
In the year 1757, her father and mother made a voyage to _England_,
(bringing this daughter and their other children with them) entirely
upon a religious account, and in order to enjoy the company of some
who were esteemed persons of remarkable piety and extensive usefulness,
and with them to partake of those sacred privileges, with which their
native island was not yet favoured. During their residence in _England_,
she shewed the greatest delight in reading religious books, and in
receiving the instruction of serious Christians, who were frequently
entertained at her father’s house. So that what was recorded of the
royal psalmist, might be asserted of her, _All_ her _delight was in the
saints upon earth_. Her father’s affairs calling him back to _Antigua_,
he, with his family left _England_, in the beginning of the year 1759,
taking with them a person whose sentiments and abilities they approved
of, to whose care they committed the education of their children, for
whom their daughter Mary soon contracted a very tender affection; far
from shunning the company of one that was to correct her faults, and
whose presence must restrain the little levities of childhood. She for
these very reasons, delighted in being constantly confined with her,
even in those hours which she might have spent at play with her sisters.
These seasons she employed in improving her mind, and having the
liberty of retiring into a closet within her governess’s chamber, she
would continue in it for a long time every day reading, praying, and
meditating, and her remarks upon what she read, were often just, and
instructive.
As soon as she had learned to write, she seldom failed noting down
whatever appeared useful in any author she read; and having a very
retentive memory, she stored it with scripture truths, so that many of
her relatives and others, were greatly surprised at her readiness in
repeating, and finding out almost any text in those sacred pages. She
likewise wrote several books of well collected texts, in proof of some
of the _fundamental doctrines_ of the church of England, such as, _The
fallen state of man, the necessity of repentance, of the new birth, and
of holiness_. Before she was twelve years of age, she corresponded with
some persons in England, and her letters were much admired; tho’ as she
grew older, her stile greatly improved, so that she had acquired both
an easy and elegant manner of addressing different persons, and upon
various occasions, tho’ religion was her constant theme: herein, as in
other instances, endeavouring to redeem as much as possible the golden
moments of her contracted span.
Thus she gently and profitably passed five years of her pilgrimage,
without variation, and exempt from vicissitudes under her parents
roof, till in the year 1764, they thought it most for her advantage to
send her to _England_, to finish her education. Here she arrived the
28th of May that year: from that time boarding with an aunt, and being
under the care of the same tutoress, who had before gone with her to
_Antigua_. This separation from the best of parents, could not but
prove an afflictive circumstance to one of her great sensibility, and
who was a most dutiful and affectionate child; but this was alleviated
by the pleasing hopes they gave her, that they themselves would
soon come and reside in England, a thought which as it enabled her
chearfully to bear their absence, so it animated her to a more than
ordinary improvement of time, in order to render them the utmost
satisfaction, when she should have the happiness of being restored to
them; a period, which she often mentioned with the greatest delight;
but which the infinitely wise disposer of events saw right never to
indulge her with. It was with great pleasure that we observed, as her
years increased, her good understanding, and the power of religion
entirely prevailed over those tempers, which have before been mentioned,
so that she became, every day more amiable, and was more endeared to
all that knew her. On the first of January 1765, she began to keep
a diary, chiefly consisting of the Lord’s dealings with her soul.
This will give a juster conception of her understanding in the way
of godliness, of her improvement of time, and the propriety of her
sentiments on many occasions, than any thing that could be said upon
the subject. She was one of those happy few, who are not afraid of
being singularly pious, and was deeply convinced that the service
of God is no impediment to, but the greatest augmentation of true
happiness, in every period and circumstance of life. She had learned to
disdain the follies of the world, always chusing plainness and neatness
in dress, rather than gaiety and extravagance, and preferring an
hour’s solitude, spent in communing with her own heart, or in searching
the word of God, before all those trifling amusements, which so much
engross the attention, and waste the time of the generality of persons
of all ages.
Thus though young in years, she contemplated her latter end, and
applied her heart unto true wisdom, and is now reaping the vast
advantage in a blest eternity. She was so exercised in the needful
duty of self-inspection, as to discern the imperfection of her best
performances, and utterly to disclaim every other hope of obtaining the
divine favour than that built on the sure foundation, Jesus Christ and
him crucified. An interest in his atoning blood, was what she sincerely
sought after; being truly sensible of the necessity of being born again,
before we can enter into the kingdom of heaven. She thought the time
long ere she was admitted into the glorious liberty of the children of
God; and would greatly deplore her own instability, levity, and want of
earnestness, to which she attributed her Lord’s delay; but these things
tho’ felt by her tender and enlightened conscience, did not appear
to others. And the Lord was not slack concerning his promise, as her
following experience proved, when he came suddenly to the temple of
her heart, never to leave her more. Some weeks before her last sickness
she told a friend, that she had been greatly led out in the meditation
of death, that she formerly considered it as very dreadful, but had
of late seen it in a different view: so that if it would please God to
finish his work in her soul, she could be content, young as she was,
to give up all that were dear below, in hope of receiving them again
in that eternal day. A few days before her disorder seized her, being
asked by a friend, concerning the state of her soul, she said, “she
had a confidence that God would not long with-hold the blessing, that
she soon should know his pardoning love, and, that she was patiently
waiting upon him.” As soon as she was taken ill, (which was on the 10th
of January, 1768,) she was asked how she found her mind? She replied,
“Quite composed, that she believed the Lord had visited her in love,
and that whether it terminated in life, or death, it would be greatly
to her advantage.” During the whole time of her illness not a doubt
seemed to disturb her, nor did she ever lose her stedfast hope, that
if she was taken, the Lord would perfect his work in her soul. She was
also endued with a constant spirit of prayer, and to all around behaved
with the utmost patience and meekness. She seldom complained, and
declared she had not a murmuring thought, tho’ she appeared to suffer
exquisitely; her disorder being a putrid fever, with a sore throat,
which mortified some days before her dissolution: it was likewise
attended with a deafness that encreased gradually, till at last there
was no conversing with her. She was also deprived very early of speech,
which as she retained her senses, rendered her situation very trying,
as well as deprived her friends of that profit and satisfaction, which
might otherwise have been expected. But on Thursday the 14th, (before
the disease had made so great a progress, tho’ even then her speech was
thick, and her hearing dull) she desired the whole family, would come
and pray with her, and to some of her friends made this good confession:
that she had found Christ, that she loved God, knowing that he had
first loved her, that she was now neither afraid nor unwilling to die;
and that she experienced unspeakable, and till now, unknown happiness.
From this time she spoke but little, except about two days afterwards,
when she said to one who desired her to speak to her, that she was
perfectly resigned to the divine will; this she uttered with difficulty,
and could add no more. But tho’ her lips were thus closed to all
below, it was evident, her heart was open to God in prayer, which was
discernable from the frequent lifting up of her hands and eyes with
great devotion; in this posture she sweetly yielded up her spirit on
the 21st instant, at the age of near 17 years.
* * * * *
An EXTRACT from her
JOURNAL.
TUESDAY, January 1st, 1765, when I awoke in the morning, I found my
heart raised in thankfulness to God for his mercies, in bringing me
to the beginning of another year; and found my soul much in the same
frame all the day. *O! may this year be spent more to the glory of my
Almighty Maker and Preserver, than the last has been: and may every
thought, word and work, tend to this glorious end.
Wednesday 2, I found a blessing while dressing, but lost it by giving
way to levity; yet the merciful Lord restored it to me in the evening:
blessed be his name.
Thursday 3. I found my soul in a dead, dull frame, with a great
disinclination to duty, which I did not yield to, and tho’ I found no
immediate blessing, yet I doubt not, but the Lord was pleased with my
endeavours to wait upon him.
Friday 4. I awoke with some degree of comfort, and had my thoughts
stayed on the things of God. I found a desire, while I heard the book
of martyrs read, of being like them; but could not submit to die for
the truth as they did; it seemed too great a trial to flesh and blood:
yet I trust was the Lord to call me to it, he would give me strength to
bear it.
Saturday 5. I spent the morning in writing letters to my dear friends
in Antigua, for whom I find the most tender affection. O! that we may
all at length meet around the throne, and stand at the last day among
the sheep at his right hand!
“O that each in the day
Of his coming, might say,
I have fought my way thro’.
I have finished the work thou didst give me to do.”
Sunday 6. In the morning my thoughts were very wandering and my mind
much discomposed. When I came up, I read and writ my journal, and
spent the rest of the morning comfortably. In the afternoon I read
the experience of Elizabeth West. May I like the bee suck honey out of
every flower, gather profit out of every book I read, every sermon I
hear, and every occurrence in life, let it seem ever so trifling. The
evening text was Isaiah lviii. 1. _Cry aloud and spare not, &c._ The
preacher shewed our transgressions in the most glaring colours, and my
own conscience convicted me that I had done all which he had mentioned,
and more too: so that were I to be tried by works, I could not be saved.
Monday 7. I found my heart raised in thankfulness for the mercies of
the night past. O for a continuance of it! Surely had I always a deep
sense of the innumerable obligations I owe to my Almighty benefactor,
it would keep me from falling into many of those things, which are so
prevalent over me. Lord give me a thankful heart.
Tuesday 8. I awoke in a serious frame, but it did not continue long;
for I yielded too much to wandering thoughts, which robbed me of that
blessing. Lord make me more watchful for the future! In the evening my
uncle preached a funeral sermon, on, _It is appointed unto men once to
die, &c._ Hebrews ix. 27. My soul was very much blest, and stirred up
to seek the Lord, but O how soon do my good resolutions die away. They
are like the morning cloud, and the early dew which passeth away. Lord
strengthen, and confirm them.
Wednesday 9. I found my soul in a very dead frame, and continued so all
the day. I may truly say,
“My drowsy powers why sleep ye so?
Awake my sluggish soul!
Nothing has half thy work to do.
Yet nothing’s half so dull.”
Thou God of love quicken my drooping powers! Stir up and awaken my
insensible soul, and give me to seek thy face with my whole heart! And
O be thou found of me!
Thursday 10. I was very cold and dead all the day, and found neither
power, nor inclination, to pray or read, which I yielded to; and passed
the day without performing either of these duties. O my God, pardon
my sins of omission, as well as those of commission. They are both as
innumerable as the hairs of my head, but thy mercies are still more.
Friday 11. I was very busy this day with setting my things in order,
which were come from London, and being in a hurry, my mind was not
as stayed as I could have wished. O my God, gather in my scattered
thoughts, and let my mind be fixt entire on thee!
Saturday 12. I was enabled, blessed be the Lord, to be serious and
watchful. In the evening, Mr. Rodda preached. His text was Mark xii. 24.
_Thou art not far from the kingdom of God._ I was much blest under the
sermon, and my mind was stayed on what was delivered.
Sunday 13. In the evening, my uncle preached on _Isaiah xxx. 21._
_This is the way, walk ye in it._ I found my thoughts much composed,
but being in great pain, I could not attend, as much as I found myself
inclined to do. O how many hindrances have we while below! Sometimes
from the world, sometimes from the infirmities of the body; and very
often from a corrupt heart! Lord, do thou arm me with thy Spirit’s
might, and enable me to combat and overcome, all the enemies of my
salvation.
Monday 14. Our class met at ten as usual, but my soul was in a very
wandering dead frame, and afterwards I was light and trifling; this is
the natural consequence of the other, if not strove against.
Tuesday 15. I was in a very cold indifferent frame all the day. In
the evening while my uncle catechised us, such a spirit of laughter
came upon us, that we could hardly speak. Lord deliver us from a light,
trifling spirit, as also from an unloving, disputing spirit.
“Mutual love the token be,
Lord, that we belong to thee.”
In the evening my uncle preached on _Hosea xiv. 1, 2._ My soul was
blest especially in singing the last hymn, in which are these sweet
words.
“He’ll never quench the smoking flax,
But raise it to a flame:
The bruised reed he never breaks,
Nor scorns the meanest name.”
Wednesday 16. I arose this morning with some degree of recollection
and stayedness upon my spirit. It partly continued all the day; but in
the evening, yielding to levity, I lost it. Lord, give me power over
a trifling spirit! Give me a continual sense of thy presence! Then I
shall not easily yield to this or any other temptation. I retired and
read the 3d chapter of _Matthew_. Went to prayer, and found enlargement
in it.
Thursday 17. All this day I was in a very disagreeable frame, which
I cannot well describe. I retired, read the psalms, and the 4th of
_Matthew_. O may I like our blessed Lord when tempted, answer the
tempter with the word of God. The text this evening was _Isaiah
liv. 22_. _Look unto me and be ye saved._ My thoughts were very
wandering all the time. O when will my mind be constantly fixed on,
and looking to that glorious object of our faith and love!
Friday 18. My soul was in a cold dead frame, and so it continued all
the day, yea all the week. For tho’ I cannot accuse myself of the
omission of any known duty, yet such a total indifferency I have not
felt for some time. O that God would give me to see the fatal cause,
the accursed thing that keeps my heart from him!
Saturday 19. I was much in the same state, and felt not the least
life in any duty till evening. Then the Lord enabled me to pour out my
complaints into his compassionate bosom, with great enlargement. When
Mrs. _L――――._ met me, I told her my state, she advised me not to let my
deadness discourage me, but still to hold on in the ways of the Lord,
who perhaps might be proving and trying me to see if I would do so
or not. This gave me some comfort, and left me hopes that he would at
length come and visit my soul with his salvation.
Sunday 20. My uncle’s text this evening was _Luke xiii. 3_. _I tell ye
nay, but except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish._ The word came
with power to my heart. O God, give me grace that I may not prove a
forgetful hearer, but a doer of the word, that so I may be blessed in
my deed.
Monday 21. I found a desire when I awoke to spend the day to the glory
of God, and I made it my earnest prayer to him that he would enable
me to do it. I bless God, that through his grace I was serious, and
found my mind stayed on him in some measure. O that I may always have
a recollected spirit! Thou Lord, hast promised to keep him in perfect
peace whose mind is stayed on thee.
Tuesday 22. My mind was in some measure serious, but not as much as
the day before. The text to-night was _Habakkuk ii. 4_. _The just shall
live by his faith._ My thoughts were much drawn off on account of my
being to set the tune, lest I should forget it. O how easily doth the
enemy get an advantage over me, when I am not standing upon my guard!
Lord, give me a watchful spirit!
Wednesday 23. My soul seemed like a barren wilderness, where nothing
but weeds and thorns grow; nothing but evil did I find in my heart.
O my God, give me thyself; then shall this wilderness become like a
watered garden which thou hast planted.
Thursday 24. I found my mind kept in a serious frame all the day,
blessed be God.
Friday 25. I continued in a serious frame, which I bless God, lasted
all the day. O how much sweeter is it to be in such a state, than to
enjoy all that the world calls pleasure! But indeed it is only they who
term it so. The people of God see there is no pleasure in these foolish
things; for surely nothing can satisfy an immortal soul created for the
enjoyment of God, but God himself.
Saturday 26. I have reason to praise the Lord, that I found my soul
still serious; this I account a great blessing, especially to me, who
am naturally of such a trifling spirit.
Monday 28. When I awoke, my thoughts were still stayed, and I bless God,
I was in a serious frame all the day. O my soul, if thou hadst always
an awful sense of the divine presence, thou wouldest be always serious
and recollected, for it is impossible that a soul which considers God
is present should dare to behave in a trifling manner before his awful
majesty.
Thursday 31. The evening text was _Matthew xi. 28_. _Come unto me
all ye that are heavy laden, &c._ My mind was taken up with observing
a gentleman and lady who were laughing and talking together all the
sermon time. Lord forgive my sin and lay it not to my charge.
Friday _February 1_. My mind was much stayed on the things of God when
I awoke and it continued so all the day.
Saturday 2. My soul was much alive this day, and I was given to see
more clearly than ever, the mystery of iniquity which is in my heart.
O thou who searchest and triest the reins of the children of men, give
me to see more and more of the sinfulness of it, and do thou wash and
cleanse it in the blood of _Jesus_.
Monday 4. This morning we experienced God’s providential care over us;
for the chimney of the little parlour took fire, and might have done
great mischief had it not been discovered in time. Thus the Lord took
care of us ♦where we knew of no danger, and could not take care of
ourselves.
♦ “when” replaced with “where” per Errata
Thursday 7. This day my uncle, and Miss H――――e sat out hastily for
Bristol, ♦where my Aunt B――――ly was in great distress, Mr. B――――ly
having died suddenly, and left her among strangers, with whom she
was quite unacquainted till within three or four weeks. O how many
unforeseen troubles are we liable to, which are all so many calls to
us, to lay up our heart and treasure above.
♦ “were” replaced with “where”
Sunday 10. Mr. Rodda preached on _Matthew iii. 10_. The discourse,
blessed be God, came with power to my soul. O Lord give me the hearing
ear, the seeing eye, and the understanding heart.
Monday 11. This morning being to be taken measure off for our mourning,
we were obliged to go out, which dissipated my thoughts very much. O
what a little serves to draw our minds from God! But alas they are not
so easily drawn off other things; such enemies are we to ourselves.
Tuesday 12. My thoughts were pretty much stayed this day, and I was
enabled to resist a temptation not to go to prayer because the weather
was cold, and I was unwilling to leave the fire.
Wednesday 13. In the evening I read Miss Cooper’s life and letters.
Then we all joyned in prayer. My soul was blest and enlarged in that
duty. When I was in bed, I took a review of my past life, and found
reason to humble myself before God, for my unfaithfulness in not making
a better use of his many mercies to me. But O may I now begin and serve
and love him all my days.
Monday 18, Tuesday 19. My soul was in a serious and yet dead frame
these days. O may I improve every state I am in; and make the very
temptations of the enemy, serve ♦as weapons to fight against him with.
Thus shall I by throwing his darts back upon his own head, force him to
fly from me.
♦ duplicate word “as” removed
Thursday 21. I was in a comfortable frame of spirit this day. In
the evening whilst I was conversing with my sisters and cousins upon
religion, I found my soul greatly blest; and I was much enlarged
afterwards in praying with them, blessed be God.