"And so it was settled. He undertook to educate me and to form my
tastes. He soon made me acquainted with the masterpieces of German and
French literature, and discovered to me the beauties of the classics
in his own language; and I learnt from him most assiduously that
which Dr. Darkins never could have taught me----"
"And so well, that you fell in love with each other!" I interrupted,
giving way to a movement of anger.
"Not exactly; but if you interrupt in that way I shall lose the thread
of my narrative. It is at your desire I recount to you the story of
my past life; and how much wiser would you be if I were to compress
it into a sentence like this for instance: 'Lord William came to our
house in the autumn, and left us the following spring'?"
"Without having become your fiance?" I said in agony.
"Without having become my fiance," she answered in a dry, cold tone.
I was angry with myself. I had only too plainly shown that I was
jealous of the praise lavished on this stranger. And what right had
I to be jealous?
She was the first to break the silence which ensued.
"Leopold," she said, "I perceive that this account of the events of
my youth is anything but agreeable to you. If you had left us as I
wished you to do this morning, I should not now be wearying you with
my recollections of the past."
"Believe me, Francis, I have remained on purpose to listen to them;
I promise not to interrupt you again if you will continue."
"Well then, now I will confess to you that I loved Lord William with
all the strength of a first love, and with all that innocency of a
young heart which does not yet even know that the passion which sways
it is love. I soon found that Lord William was dearer to me than all
the world beside, and that my chief delight was to obey him in all
things, to consult him on all occasions, and to accompany him when and
wherever it was possible. I even found means to interest myself in his
archaeological researches. I translated for him Dutch documents which
formerly I would not have taken the trouble to read. Besides, finding
that, like most men, he was fond of a good dinner, I took care to have
such dishes prepared as I knew to be to his liking. I began to pay
attention to my dress, because he himself, without going to extremes
or exceeding the bounds of good taste, was always well dressed. He
introduced me into the society of our small town, and I felt vexed
every time he paid the least attention to another lady, though I took
care not to let him see it. We also gave dinners and received company,
and the ladies were greatly astonished at the manner in which Major
Frank played the hostess. The winter was drawing to a close, and it
had been settled that, on the first fine day which offered, we should
all make an excursion to the Werve. My grandfather had returned to
the garrison, and I was soon aware he disapproved of my sentiments
towards Lord William. And it was not long before I knew the reason why.
"One fine spring morning I was sitting on the balcony with a book in
my hand, when I heard my grandfather and father, who sat on a bench
underneath, speaking of Lord William and myself in terms which excited
my curiosity.
"Grandfather, in a very bad humour, said: 'She is always parading him
about, and he pays no attentions to anybody but her. In your place,
I should ask him to declare his intentions, and then the engagement
can be publicly announced.'
"My father burst out in a loud laugh.
"'Major,' he said, 'what are you thinking of? William, whose intentions
are perfectly honest, was at school with me; he is only two or three
years my junior, and Francis has not completed her seventeenth year.'
"'What does that matter? He does not look much over thirty, and I
tell you she's madly in love with him. How is it possible you have
never perceived it yourself?'
"'Bless me, Major!' cried my father, 'you must know that William is
married; and, moreover, I am very grateful to him for acting the part
of mentor to Francis; indeed she had need of one!'
"'In truth, Sir John, either you are too simple, or you indulge a
confidence in your friend I cannot approve of.'
"'You would have the same confidence in him that I have, if you knew
him as well. He is every inch a gentleman, sir, and if I hinted the
slightest suspicion he would leave the house instantly. And, besides,
he is generous, very generous--I am deeply indebted to him. His stay
with us is almost at its close. He must return to London to preside
at the meeting of some society of antiquarians of which he is the
president. The disagreeable affair which obliged him to come to
the Continent is almost arranged. He was afraid of a lawsuit which
would have caused much scandal in high life, but the mediators are
now hopeful of success. His wife, who is travelling in the South with
his relations, has written him a very humble letter, imploring him to
forget and to forgive. He has told me his mind is not yet quite made
up, but that he has a great repugnance to a divorce; probably then----'
"Hereupon the two speakers got up and walked away into the garden. As
for myself, I remained for a long time leaning against the balustrade,
immovable as a statue of stone. When I found myself quite alone,
I could not suppress a cry of grief. Yes, my grandfather had read
me! I loved--I loved with passion, and all at once I discovered my
passion to be a crime. And he, had he not deceived me by leaving me in
ignorance of what it was most important for me to know? Ought he not to
have foreseen the danger into which he was leading me by his kind and
affectionate treatment? Without doubt he felt himself invulnerable;
without doubt he still loved his absent wife. It is true that with
his kind manners he always maintained a certain reserve with me; once,
indeed, and once only, he had kissed my hand with marks of tenderness
for some attention or other I had shown him. That night I could not
sleep for joy; on the morrow, however, he resumed his habitual reserve.
"My first idea was to go and reproach him to his face for what I
considered his deception towards me; but he was not at home, and
would not return before dinner. At table I could not help showing
him how much my feelings towards him had changed. This he observed,
and when the other gentlemen lit their cigars after dinner, instead
of following me to the drawing-room, as was his wont, he took a cigar
and stayed with them. I remembered that I could smoke also, and I
followed his example. I saw him frown; he threw away his cigar, and
invited me to go with him to his study. This was just what I wanted.
"'What is the matter with you, Miss Francis?' he asked. 'I cannot
understand the reason for this change in your behaviour towards me.'
"'On a little reflection, my lord, you will easily discover the
reason. You know how much I love plain-speaking.'
"'Very good.'
"'What can I think of you when I hear from other people that you
are married?'
"I saw he grew pale, but he answered with great coldness--
"'Has Sir John only just told you that? and why to-day above all
others?'
"'Sir John has told me nothing; I have heard it by accident. By
accident, you understand, my lord, and now I think I have the right
to hear from your own lips more particulars about your wife.'
"He drew back some paces; his features became so contracted under an
expression of violent suffering that I myself was afraid. For a time
he was silent, pacing up and down the room; and finally he said to me,
with a mingling of sadness and discontent--
"'I am sorry, Francis, but I did not think the time had arrived
when I could give you such a mark of confidence. There is too much
of bitterness in your tone for me to suppose your question arises
out of an interest in my sorrows, and only those who have such an
interest have a claim to my explanations. Is it a young girl like
you that I should choose out by preference, in whom to confide the
sad secrets of my unhappy marriage? And how could I begin to speak
about a subject on the termination of which I am still in doubt?'
"'And it never occurred to you, my lord, that there might be a danger
in leaving me ignorant of your marriage?'
"'No, certainly not. I came here to divert my thoughts from my
troubles, and to seek solace--which I have found--in my favourite
studies. I made your acquaintance in the house of your father, who
received me hospitably; and I thought I perceived your education had
been neglected, nay, that even a false turn had been given to your
ideas. This I have tried to remedy and I must acknowledge you have
gratefully appreciated and seconded my efforts; but it does not follow
that I ought to acquaint you with all my personal affairs and all
my griefs and troubles. I fled from England to escape the condolence
of my friends and the raillery of my adversaries. I wished to avoid
a lawsuit in which my name--a name of some renown in England--would
have been exposed to the comments of a public ever hungering after
scandal. Could I have talked to you on such a subject? It would have
cast a gloom over the golden dreams of your youth, and rendered the
autumn of my life still more cloudy!'
"'The clouds surrounding you, my lord, must be pretty thick already,'
I replied, exasperated by his cool manner, 'to prevent your seeing
that my ignorance of your marriage has caused me to embark on a sea of
illusions, where in the spring-time of life I shall suffer shipwreck.'
"A movement of fright escaped him. I broke forth in complaints and
reproaches; he fell back on a divan and covered his face with his
hands. He protested he had never guessed at such an idea, never even
suspected anything of the sort. Afterwards, when I had eased my mind
and was sitting sobbing before him, he recovered himself, and coming
over to me he said, in his usual calm and affectionate tone--
"'My child, there is much exaggeration in all you have told me. Your
imagination has been struck, and you have suffered it to carry you
away, so that you believe all you say now; but I can assure you, you
are mistaken. You are impressionable, susceptible, but too young to
understand the real passion of love. At your age, young girls have
very often some little love affair with the engaging young dancer
they met at the last ball. You, who have been kept out of society on
account of the masculine education you had received, have known no
such temptations; but perhaps for this very reason you were the more
exposed to illusions of another kind, which I confess I ought to have
foreseen, namely, that of falling in love with the first gentleman
who showed you more than the usual attentions of common civility. I
happen to be this man. We have read several plays of Shakespeare
together. Every young girl may imagine herself a Juliet; but that
is no reason why she should imagine her teacher to be a Romeo. Now,
seriously, Francis, could you take me for your Romeo? Look at me,
and consider how ridiculous any such pretension on my part would
be. I am about the same age as your father; I am turning gray; I
should also be as stout, but for a disease which threatens me with
consumption. All this is far from poetic, is it not? Exercise your
reason, your good sense, and you will be the first to acknowledge
that I am most unfitted to become the hero of a love affair.'
"I was silent; I felt as if some one were pouring ice down my back. He
approached me, and laying his hand on my shoulder, with the greatest
gentleness said--
"'I was married one year before your father, and though I have no
children, I might have had a daughter of your age. I had accustomed
myself, gradually, to regard you as my own daughter; you deprive me
of this pleasure, for the present at least, though I am sure you will
one day recover from your folly. It is your head which is affected,
not your heart, believe me, for I have had experience in the depths of
abasement to which the passions may lead a woman who has not energy
enough to overcome them. If I had a son--I have only a nephew, who
will be heir to my title and property--and if----"
"'Thank you, my lord, I could never address you as my uncle!' and
I burst out in an hysterical laugh. There was a beautiful edition
of Shakespeare lying on the table, a present from him; I took it up
and tore it leaf from leaf, scattering them about the room. At the
same instant my maid knocked at the door; she came to remind me it
was time to dress for the ball. We had accepted invitations for this
evening to the house of a banker, one of the most prominent men in our
province. My pride having been touched to the quick, I determined to
seek solace in the wildest excitement. I flirted with the only son
of this banker, who all through the winter had been very attentive
to me. I felt much pleasure in showing Lord William how easily I
could forget him; but my eyes were all the while furtively following
him to see the effect my conduct might produce. He remained calm and
cool as ever. After a while he seated himself at the card-table, and
lost a considerable sum of money to my grandfather. On the morrow,
I perceived preparations were being made for his departure in all
haste. Lord William had received the letters he had so long expected,
and seemed to have no time to notice me. I became transported with
passion, when my father told me at luncheon that the banker's son had
asked permission to wait upon me in the course of the afternoon. You
can understand my rage. 'What a falling-off was there!'--from Lord
William to a Charles Felters!
"I answered my father that I would not speak to the simpleton.
"'You must!' he replied, in a tone of authority I was little accustomed
to in Sir John. 'You have given the young man encouragement, and you
had better reflect on the consequences of refusing such a good offer.'"